College Freshmen
I just want to make sure that I got this right:
It is not uncommon for college freshmen to arrive on campus before the beginning the academic year to participate in rush. A few days later, most of these teenagers will be pledges of Greek Letter Organizations. In short, Greek Letter Organizations are asking 17- and 18-year olds to make a lifetime commitment to their organizations based on a weeklong courtship. This commitment will be before a student has participated in freshman orientation, attended his/her first collegiate class, etc Is that wise? After all, college students will change majors, roommates, dormitories for various reasons. But Greek Letter Organizations are asking for a commitment that will last longer than the future marriages of these students. Maybe I just don't get it. There is so much from my first year of college that I would like to change. |
Although it is not uncommon for recruitment to occur before classes start, it is also not uncommon for recruitment to begin in late September, in January, and possibly even not until one's sophomore year. Remember, many organizations are SOCIAL organizations, and so they can help young people meet others, make friends, become acquainted with people on campus, and get involved in clubs/other organizations. You are also taking the "lifetime commitment" concept to mean that there is no fun involved, when there is a lot of it involved, but also an inculcation of loyalty and friendship into a young person's life that they might not have had before their membership. Just a few thoughts...
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Of course there's a special spot in my heart for everything AXO, from the symphony to the philanthropy and I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else. That said, a lifetime committment to Alpha Phi, Theta, Phi Mu, KKG, or whatever other NPC sorority would have it's own beautiful symphony/motto/creed, great philanthropy, network of wonderful women, etc. After all, it's not like a sorority woman would be like "Oh, the Breast Cancer philanthropy is awesome, but Children's Miracle Network totally sucks, I'd never want to be a part of a sorority with THAT philanthropy..." If I rushed at a campus that didn't have AXO and I joined, say, AOII, I'd probably be just as happy and in love with AOII as I am with AXO. To use your example, husbands vary radically from one person to the next, but at the heart of it, NPC sororities are really all about the same thing. |
I can only speak from my knowledge about Alabama and Auburn, but yes, that's the way it's done there. Doesn't make it perfect, but it fits in those 2 places. Both schools have done it both after classes start and before. Right now, before works best. If you wait until after classes start, there are all sorts of issues involving girls (sorority members AND rushees) who can't get to parties because of classes. Sorority members generally have to stay up late and work very hard, and that is a big problem when you factor classes into the mix.
It's the best way NPC has found to match a huge number of potential members to groups. It's not perfect. It's always changing. |
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But you already knew that. ;) |
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I also wondered why some schools go through the recruitment process so early. There is so much a freshman is dealing with that is almost seems unfair to add recruitment into the adjustment to (a whole new life in)college process.
You could wait but, from what I have read on here, if you aren't a freshman your chances of being accepted are not as good. (I don't understand this one so maybe someone could explain?) What happens if you become a member of a sorority or fraternity and then decide you don't like the school you are attending? If you've been at the school for at least a sememster you have a better feel for whether or not the school is a good fit. If you transfer to another school and have already joined, then what happens? Please understand these are questions from a mom who has no Greek experience (obviously :)), and I am just trying to figure things out. I know there are usually reasons for everything (but not always). |
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If there is not a chapter of that sorority on campus, your options are to join a service or academic/professional GLO, local GLO, or just be an independent XYZ on that campus. And, I have heard of campuses with a large amount of transfer students having a "Chapterless Greeks" type org for people to join who don't have a chapter on campus. In any case, unless you deactivate, you remain an Alum of your sorority, and are not eligible to rush another NPC. If you deactivate, you are done forever with NPC GLOs (unless your GLO has some sort of reactivation policy). |
For us at Mississippi State, our sororities started their rush today... however, for our fraternities we don't start our rush until Sept. the 9th. ...and, I must agree, it is a big deal and is asking alot of them... however, as we tell our candidates they shouldn't join if they don't think they're ready for all of it.
However, these are people you'll be friends with for a long time to come, brothers/sisters for life and you have a connection with thousands of others from across the nation and from other countries (if you're an international GLO yet). ...also helps save you money on hotels, "Hey, I'm traveling over to XYZ place, mind if I crash at y'alls house for the night?" hahaha |
mamasue it really depends on the rush practices on that campus. My advice is ask your daughter if she really believes the sorority girls that told her that everyone loved her. if she does, I would postpone becoming a pledge/new member until the next semester or quarter. The reason behind that is if your daughter can get in a better known institution its definately worth it and She should pick her sorority based on the girls in it and if she doesnt like the two shes rushing for and she isnt really interested in them dont allow her to become a new member with them. Shell regret it over the next 4 years. I actually know some sorority girls that wish they would have gone to a diffrent sorority everyday. It's all about finding that right fit for you but dont force it~
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My wife was dropped by her first choice because of a numbers game that goes on within the Sororities. (It is not that the organizations she was dropped from necesarily dropped her the system as a whole may have dropped her from those choices if that makes sense.) She was told under the table to drop from recruitment by a friend in the chapter. She dropped waited until the winter quarter and rushed into the chapter she wanted during open recruitment when there were some spaces open. She has not regreted it since.
Sororities are much different from Fraternities when it comes to recruitment (on my campus) there are ceilings/caps that get put on the chapters and if XY chapter only has three spots to fill because they are that close to ceiling then the legacies baring any drama would get the spots and that is what happened to my wife. Fraternities for the most part don't play the numbers game we have always recruited as many people as we can and then we bid the best of the best. Good luck to your daughter!!! |
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Other than that, we weren't in member selection for those groups, so we really can't tell you why your daughter was cut. |
Thanks, AlphaFrog, to the answer to my transfer question. That's another reason why I believe it would be beneficial to wait until second semester to have recruitment.
Does anyone have answers to my other questions: "I also wondered why some schools go through the recruitment process so early." "You could wait but, from what I have read on here, if you aren't a freshman your chances of being accepted are not as good. (I don't understand this one so maybe someone could explain?)" Thanks for the help. |
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Most of the time, it wasn't true. It wasn't that the sorority disliked the PNM, usually, but I've found that they never had any intention of inviting her back for whatever reason and they just didn't know what to say. It was their poor attempt to avoid an awkward situation or to spare her feelings. The gentle honesty approach (i.e. "I'm sorry you're disappointed, but we really can't talk about what happened. I'm so sorry.") is obviously the better option here, but I'm sure you can imagine how hard it would be for a non-confrontational 19 y.o. to go there. It's not right, but I'm sure that's why it happens. Mamasue, the best advice I can give you and your daughter is for her to speak with her recruitment counselor, let the disappointment settle, explore her other options (COB, joining a professional/honorary/volunteer GLO, playing sports, joining clubs, whatever), and to NOT listen to what anyone in a sorority says about her being the "best PNM" or that "everyone loved her." I'm sure your daughter's a really lovely girl, but if sorority women are saying that to a PNM during recruitment, it's probably a whole lot of hot air. |
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