GreekChat.com Forums - What to do after being dropped by every house?

GreekChat.com Forums (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/index.php)

- Sorority Recruitment (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?f=217)

- - What to do after being dropped by every house? (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=234721)

Lillymaddy,
PM here and I can hopefully help you out. I had a young woman who I knew through my daughter who had a lot of the same stuff you did.....but not a single rec...she was told by everyone that it didn't matter--I worked hard to get her 8 rec's......she got dropped after first round by the other 7.....and she was very impressive.....so I do think the rec thing is something to think about and also something you might want to consider in order to do COB.....so PM and I can help you out!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilymaddy (Post 2441444)

Thank you everyone who has responded and given me feedback. A few extra details:

Yes, my social media is completely clean. I've never even attended a party.
I worked two jobs in high school but won't be working two jobs in college.
Knowing I can be shy, I watched a lot of advice videos and really put myself out there and tried to always have a smile on my face. Even though I'm shy, I've worked in customer service for a couple of years so I'd like to think I am a decent conversationalist. I guess it probably did come down to recs. I was afraid to ask people in my life for recs because I knew they'd judge me (especially my mom, whom I did not tell I was rushing until after I had registered) for being interested in greek life.

The outfit suggestions for the day were shorts and a t-shirt, jeans and a tank top, or a casual dress. Here's what I wore:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/wit-wisd...lusive/4021192

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/lush-cho...r=VIOLET%20ICE

Anyway, thanks again everyone.

Not to be nosy, but how were you planning to pay for sorority membership and activities without your parents' support? The financial responsibility for each member can easily run $2,000+ per year.

Hopefully you will consider trying again, but with recs this time. I second the recommendation for you to meet with the Greek Life advisor. They will be able to tell you if there are informal opportunities for bids (COB) this year or if you'll need to wait until Fall 2018. In the meantime, keep that GPA high, get involved in a few key campus activities, make friends with sorority women, and get those recs lined up!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilymaddy (Post 2441444)

I was afraid to ask people in my life for recs because I knew they'd judge me (especially my mom, whom I did not tell I was rushing until after I had registered) for being interested in greek life.

Beyond no recs and sororities' concern about how you'd pay for Greek life (or have time) if they knew you are working two jobs there might have been something else going on related to what you wrote that I quoted:

That because of your fear of family judgement, your "energy" might have seemed "off". Meaning that you want this but you're conflicted. My experience is that when there's an inner conflict then you can come across as a bit off. It's a self-sabotage of sorts. Not that the actives knew what it specifically was, just that something was off, maybe you came off awkward.

I really believe for you to feel really relaxed and happy during rush, you can't have this type of energy going on.

You have great tangibles but let's be real, at a school like yours I guarantee that every other girl has a high GPA and probably has recs. Pretty? Ok. Tons of girls in recruitment are pretty.

Connections are important. Not even just in the South. Depending on the school, women already know a large percentage of PNMs from high school, dance, cheer, sports, etc. Or just growing up in the same neighborhood.

It matters more than you may think and more than people are at times willing to admit.

You feel that you are shy and you stated you were afraid that people who might have provided recs would judge you, which to me (armchair diagnostician) sounded like you are not very self assured. Despite your attempts to improve in that area, you might have fallen short, and come off as shy and awkward, which might have been interpreted as uninterested. That combined with no recs might have been the problem, but we just don't know.