Sorority Dilemma (switching sororities)
 

Hi,
So I am in a bit of a sticky situation, so I thought I'd put it out there and get some advice……

I went through formal recruitment but didn't end up finding the house that I felt was right for me. So then I decided to join a professional/social sorority instead , as dues were less and the idea of a prof/social sorority seemed nice. However, having been in it for a little while now I feel like it hasn't been what I was hoping it would be. There is so much emphasis on the academic part that we really don't do anything social-wise at all. Overall I just feel really out of place and awkward and that I don't connect with the sisters. There is a new chapter of an NPC sorority coming to campus that I'm kind of interested in joining. The catch is that I'm also my chapter's representative to help get them acclimated to campus and ready for formal recruitment next fall. Any advice on what I should do or is there anyone who's been in this situation as well? Thanks!

Do the campus rule let you be in more than one organization? Without knowing specifics, I have read a lot about different org and some allow duel membership and some do not. If you are thinking a quitting yr current org, then there still might be rules about not joining another org. This is just based on my understanding of reading that I have done, others might have better advise.
DNP

You can be a member of both a professional/academic sorority and an NPC sorority in general, although you may want to check your particular sorority's rules to make sure there isn't a conflict. As far as what you do about your old sorority, you either stay or you quit; that's up to you. Handling the potentially awkward situation you're in about helping transition the new sorority onto campus when you are interested in membership, well you're just gonna have to deal with that. But my guess it isn't that unusual. BUT it might lead to hurt feelings in the sorority you're quitting, so be aware of that.

QFP

My sorority's bylaws state that it isn't possible for duel membership. So in terms of legalities I just have to quit and join the other one. I guess I'm just nervous because I don't know how the other sorority will react and I'm nervous about quitting the one I am in now and not receiving a bid to the one I want to join.

I certainly hope that they aren't "duel" memberships! Do you use pistols? I think everyone means "dual." And entirely different word!

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone bring up the fact that quitting your current org wouldn't guarantee you'll get in to the other one. Have you tried asking some of the sisters of your current group if they'd like to hang out away from sorority activities?

That's what I'm worried about. I feel that are some sisters who wouldn't care but others who would cut me out. It's an uneasy feeling going into the unknown…...

The new sorority coming on campus may very well cut you simply because you quit your current sorority. Do you really want to quit your current sorority when getting a bid from the new organization is a real long shot?

It may not be a real long shot. While it's true that at some schools maybe only 1/3 of interested girls gain admission to a colony, at others admission is offered to most of the girls who express interest. Without knowing the school, the number of NPC chapters on campus, expected colony quota, etc., we can't really say how risky this would be.

But I think that's a moot point. Either you like your current sorority enough to stay or you don't. This other one can't function as a back up because there are no guarantees. But it sounds to me like you didn't have a great rush and thought you'd take the easy way out. These other, nonNPC sororities all have a lot to say for themselves, but NPC-light is not a description anyone would use. I would recommend going through formal rush again with a more open-minded approach to ALL of the chapters and at the end of that process decide if you should try for colony rush.

You make good points. There are 12 sororities on campus and the quota for the new sorority is 160 reportedly. I'd love to go through formal recruitment again but by the time fall swings around, I will already be a junior. And I've been told not to even bother going through formal recruitment after sophomore year.

Colonies do not have quotas. The trend (if GC is an indicator) is for colonies, especially at schools where rush is very competitive, to pick more carefully and perhaps lower than their target amount, to ensure only the most outstanding members are selected and to aid in developing the cohesiveness of the group.

Were you completely cut from all groups at formal NPC rush, or did you drop out while there were still groups inviting you to parties? This is something you will be asked during a colony interview. "I didn't like the sororities I had left so I quit and decided to join the cheap one" is not a response that will be looked on favorably.

I didn't get cut from all the groups, but the one that preffed me was one whose girls I felt I didn't really connect with, who gave off the "I don't want to be here" vibe, and a couple of them were hungover. I joined the one I am in now because at the time I thought it would be a better fit.

Oh, I think I know what this means.

In the plus column for you, colonies want members of all 4 years and it's a bit harder for them to find quality juniors and seniors who want to join.
In the negative column for you is I'm pretty sure I know what school you go to, and if I'm right, you made a really stupid decision to not go through and pledge when you had the chance. If chapter total is in the 160 range (and if rumor has it the colony will take that number, that's probably about right, but a little low) and you met likely somewhere around 10 girls during rush. You met a girl at preference who was tired after an excruciating week (double the amount of hours you spent on rush for what the members go through and wonder why every girl isn't bouncing off the ceiling by the end), and you thought some girls were hung over. So 160 girls were tired and hung over? Like I said, you made a stupid choice, especially considering (again, if I have the school right) that all of the chapters made quota and you would have had a large pledge class of girls to call sisters.

Make the decision about whether to stay or go with the current sorority based on your feelings for them and if you decide to quit then go through colony rush (you're right, there's really no point in going through formal as a junior there) and hope for the best. But it's time to learn what commitment means and sometimes you just have to make a leap of faith.