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-   -   "I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter" (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=134607)

carnation 05-29-2013 08:56 PM

"I'm rushing 'for' a certain chapter"
 
What is with all these girls lately who say they're "rushing for" a certain chapter"? I see it all over Facebook and PNMs even tell me that in person. Most whom I personally know haven't even met the members, they just like the webpage or the rumors or the colors.

Folks, that's not how NPC sorority recruitment works. Even if you do know some of the members of a certain group, nobody can guarantee that you'll get a bid; they know a lot of other girls too. The way it works at competitive schools is that you go to the parties and it's pretty much in the hands of the members from there on out, even if you're a legacy.

Also, if members see you announcing on FB that you will only accept bids from Awesome Alpha or Bodacious Beta, you are likely dead in the water. Please take notice!

SWTXBelle 05-29-2013 09:02 PM

TESTIFY!

thetalady 05-29-2013 09:03 PM

and oh, what long memories we have....

adpiucf 05-29-2013 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2218894)
What is with all these girls lately who say they're "rushing for" a certain chapter"? I see it all over Facebook and PNMs even tell me that in person. Most whom I personally know haven't even met the members, they just like the webpage or the rumors or the colors.

I've known lots of PNMs like this. The difference is that they have a louder method to broadcast than PNMs 20+ years ago. Yay social media, killer of dreams and permanent record of stupidity.

pinapple 05-29-2013 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2218901)
Yay social media, killer of dreams and permanent record of stupidity.

Best quote ever.

DeltaBetaBaby 05-29-2013 09:24 PM

What I don't understand is lack of discretion in general. Like, if I am interviewing for a new job, I don't go running around telling everyone that I am going to work for whatevercorp, or if I go out with a new guy once, I don't post his name everywhere. I know we talk about how many PNM's are top students, cheerleaders, pageant queens, whatever, but surly they have, at some point in their life, not gotten something they wanted.

IndianaSigKap 05-29-2013 09:24 PM

i think part of it is simply not knowing how recruitment works. There are many PNMs who are totally clueless and have no idea what goes on. Some of them legitimately think they have to choose one in the beginning.

TriDeltaSallie 05-29-2013 09:53 PM

I'll give them a pass for wanting to join a group based on the colors. At least it's not based on gossip. :)

atrianglepi 05-29-2013 10:43 PM

I remember a few years back when my oldest was going through recruitment and she joined a FB group for girls interested in Recruitment. First mistake was the Admin didn't make it private and current members joined to scope out the PNM's. Second mistake, many girls posted " I'm rushing XYZ or PDQ only.

I have also had several requests for Recs where the girl says, " I'm only interested in the atrianglepis." Big, Big mistake, Huge!

KillarneyRose 05-29-2013 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2218901)
Yay social media, killer of dreams and permanent record of stupidity.

So so true!

WCsweet<3 05-29-2013 11:08 PM

I often wonder if the PNMs who do this are from a large sorority population or a small population. A large one where many people go greek and have opinions from that or small where they know nothing except the things the lone ABC in the community has said about groups.

I only really knew two members of NPC sororities and had little opinions about the others since they didn't say anything about other groups. On the other hand, if they had said "oh DEF is awful" I probably would have listened as I had no clue before GC.

33girl 05-29-2013 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp (Post 2218937)
Not to excuse any of this behavior, but most PNMs just survived college admissions, where it is A-OK to declare a favorite publicly. In fact, for the best odds, you are supposed to commit yourself "early decision" to Whassamatta U. It's normal to spend senior year discussing first choices, safeties, etc., and for the most part, kids don't get rejected at Auburn because Auburn found out that the real first choice was UGA. Maybe they are generalizing from that.

Then they are stupid.

HQWest 05-29-2013 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp (Post 2218937)
Not to excuse any of this behavior, but most PNMs just survived college admissions, where it is A-OK to declare a favorite publicly. In fact, for the best odds, you are supposed to commit yourself "early decision" to Whassamatta U. It's normal to spend senior year discussing first choices, safeties, etc., and for the most part, kids don't get rejected at Auburn because Auburn found out that the real first choice was UGA. Maybe they are generalizing from that.

But Kids DO get rejected if they have all over Facebook their first choice was UGA and they end up at Auburn (just not by the admissions office...):confused:

clemsongirl 05-30-2013 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp (Post 2218937)
Not to excuse any of this behavior, but most PNMs just survived college admissions, where it is A-OK to declare a favorite publicly. In fact, for the best odds, you are supposed to commit yourself "early decision" to Whassamatta U. It's normal to spend senior year discussing first choices, safeties, etc., and for the most part, kids don't get rejected at Auburn because Auburn found out that the real first choice was UGA. Maybe they are generalizing from that.

I actually remember an admissions officer at I think U of Delaware telling us that it's okay to reuse a college application essay as long as you make sure to change the name of the school you write in at the bottom so it doesn't get sent in to Delaware with the ending "...and that's why I want to go to the University of Maryland." As someone who was applying to both of those schools at the time that stuck with me.

I think misinformation is actually a big part of the "rushing for" mentality that people are seeing. I know the Clemson Panhellenic FAQ doesn't address how rush actually works beyond a perfunctory explanation of conversing with sisters. If I was a hypothetical PNM entering school with no friends or family in Greek Life I could easily see why it wouldn't be a big deal to post which group you want to join online. The power imbalance that exists in formal recruitment-PNMs rank, but chapters are the only ones who can cut-isn't really highlighted either, which leaves girls thinking they have a lot more say in which groups they return to than they do.

In sum, I apologize for my cohort of teenage girls broadcasting their most likely misinformed opinions to the world for everyone to read and remember come recruitment, but keep in mind that we do not always make the best decisions at this age.

KSUViolet06 05-30-2013 12:36 AM



Sidenote: if you want a good laugh (or to just be mortified at how ill-informed PNMs are) Twitter search "sorority rush" or "sorority recruitment" during recruitment season.




pshsx1 05-30-2013 12:46 AM

I'm going to go on and say as well that a lot of Freshmen don't know what we know. At all.

I came from a non-Greek family. I straight up told another fraternity that I was rushing SigEp. Whoops. But I had absolutely no idea that that was taboo. I never had to prove myself to join an organization. We also didn't have Meet the Greeks or anything along the lines when I rushed.

Ignorant? Sure. I wouldn't say stupid, though.

MaryPoppins 05-30-2013 12:52 AM

Clemsongirl - you are too kind. The information they need is all over this site. In some cases by specific school. And there is an annual thread for Ole Miss for the last three years. Ignoring what is front of you is something entirely different.

kateee 05-30-2013 12:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 2218950)


Sidenote: if you want a good laugh (or to just be mortified at how ill-informed PNMs are) Twitter search "sorority rush" or "sorority recruitment" during recruitment season.




I just did that now, just for funsies, and found the following that made me laugh.
http://i39.tinypic.com/2s834hk.png
and also this:
http://i44.tinypic.com/j7avrs.png
Hijack over.

This happens at my school more than you would expect. I remember during fall recruitment a girl telling me she was an in house legacy to ABC and so she was only interested in them. She was going to be an ABC, or she was going to keep trying till she got it. And in the spring, there is a lot of "I only went to XYZ's party because other sororities suck"

lake 05-30-2013 12:59 AM

I think it's absolutely INSANE that someone would actually want a certain sorority based on their colors or mascot or something else really superficial. Hopefully if it happens, it's a very rare occurence. Maybe I wasn't a typical rushee, because I thought it was insane back in the day when I rushed. But then again, I had really good Rho Chis who kept emphasizing how important it was to figure out which group of women made you feel the most comfortable - "popular" house or not.

honeychile 05-30-2013 01:21 AM

I will confess that my 16-year-old self made grand decisions on which sororities I thought would be more desirable by their composites (did they wear the same thing or were they individuals), how many Greek letters (as opposed to Roman ones) were in each sorority;s name, and what their colors were. We fully discussed them at camp during the summer prior to rush, so it wasn't just my age, either. BUT! Once rush started, I realized immediately how superficial that all was, and made decisions based on compatibility.


While I realize that the young women coming here for the first or second time
may not understand how terribly naive they sound, there's just too much information given on Greek Chat to ignore that lack of knowledge for very long.

In other words, PNMs, in the name of all things sane, PLEASE read all of the stickies!!!

ASTalumna06 05-30-2013 01:46 AM

IMO, it's crazy that girls open their mouths at all about which particular chapters they want to join (aside from telling their close friends and family).. especially before arriving at school. I will admit that when I had my first tiny inkling of wanting to join, I had a chapter or two in mind for partially superficial reasons (e.g. colors, letters, history, etc.), but at that point I was already at school, I had met some of the members, and I wasn't truly serious about going through recruitment. And even when I had members actively recruiting me and I knew that I definitely wanted a bid from the sisters who showed the most interest in me, I never made it a point to publicly announce that "I so want to be an AST!"

(And essentially, without realizing it at the time, I learned that meeting the members and learning what they were all about was the most important thing about recruitment, and about finding out where I truly fit in)

I'm sure there were girls before the internet age that were more than willing to spill the beans, but it bears repeating that you should keep quiet and that social media is a..

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2218901)
killer of dreams and permanent record of stupidity.


ASTalumna06 05-30-2013 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 (Post 2218968)
And even when I had members actively recruiting me and I knew that I definitely wanted a bid from the sisters who showed the most interest in me, I never made it a point to publicly announce that "I so want to be an AST!"

Yes, I'm quoting myself.. simply to say that part of the reason why I think I was so hesitant to announce my hopes and dreams to the world is because I was also aware of the possibility of rejection. As we've said many times here before, there are PNMs going through recruitment who have never had the experience of someone telling them, "Sorry, you didn't make it," or "No, you can't do this," or "It's unfortunate, but you're not going to be able to participate in that." Some PNMs are expecting to get a bid from a particular chapter, regardless of whether or not they know how the process works. They've always received what they wanted in the past, so why should anything change when they get to college?

SWTXBelle 05-30-2013 06:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshsx1 (Post 2218952)
I'm going to go on and say as well that a lot of Freshmen don't know what we know. At all.

I came from a non-Greek family. I straight up told another fraternity that I was rushing SigEp. Whoops. But I had absolutely no idea that that was taboo. I never had to prove myself to join an organization. We also didn't have Meet the Greeks or anything along the lines when I rushed.

Ignorant? Sure. I wouldn't say stupid, though.

Fraternity rush is COMPLETELY different. Completely. Announcing you were only interested in one fraternity is not on a par with announcing you are only interested in certain sororities. As you point out, you were able to participate in a far more informal and unstructured recruitment. The way sorority recruitment works punishes pnms who are ignorant or foolish in a way fraternity recruitment does not.

sigmadiva 05-30-2013 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2218894)
What is with all these girls lately who say they're "rushing for" a certain chapter"? I see it all over Facebook and PNMs even tell me that in person. Most whom I personally know haven't even met the members, they just like the webpage or the rumors or the colors.

Folks, that's not how NPC sorority recruitment works. Even if you do know some of the members of a certain group, nobody can guarantee that you'll get a bid; they know a lot of other girls too. The way it works at competitive schools is that you go to the parties and it's pretty much in the hands of the members from there on out, even if you're a legacy.

Also, if members see you announcing on FB that you will only accept bids from Awesome Alpha or Bodacious Beta, you are likely dead in the water. Please take notice!

I'm curious to know if any of the young ladies you describe ever see the error in what they did by announcing they only wanted to join a particular NPC org?

carnation 05-30-2013 09:48 AM

Sometimes. Sometimes they're friends-of-friends whose posts just show up on my feed or whose stories I hear about. About half the time, it's someone I know. I have only known this to work out the way the girl wanted it once but then her school wasn't highly competitive.

sigmadiva 05-30-2013 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2218989)
Sometimes. Sometimes they're friends-of-friends whose posts just show up on my feed or whose stories I hear about. About half the time, it's someone I know. I have only known this to work out the way the girl wanted it once but then her school wasn't highly competitive.

Thanks!:)

FSUZeta 05-30-2013 10:08 AM

The summer before my son started college, he joined the Facebook group, "Samford class of 2012". There was a thread for people looking to find roommates, and one of the students had uploaded a questionnaire that asked among other things, whether the student was going to rush or not. The majority of the girls who filled out the questionnaire also spilled their guts on which sorority(ies) they were interested in. My daughter (going in to her junior year at Samford-and a sorority member) and I got a big kick out of the unyielding certainty that so many of the PNMs showed, that ABC or DEF was the place for them. There were even a few who said "any group but KLM". The funniest thing was that of the girls who completed recruitment, 9 times out of 10 the PNMs did not join the group they thought they were destined to and some who had said any group but "X", joined X.

MaryPoppins 05-30-2013 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta (Post 2218991)
The funniest thing was that of the girls who completed recruitment, 9 times out of 10 the PNMs did not join the group they thought they were destined to and some who had said any group but "X", joined X.

Prezactly.

Sen's Revenge 05-30-2013 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshsx1 (Post 2218952)
I'm going to go on and say as well that a lot of Freshmen don't know what we know. At all.

I came from a non-Greek family. I straight up told another fraternity that I was rushing SigEp. Whoops. But I had absolutely no idea that that was taboo. I never had to prove myself to join an organization. We also didn't have Meet the Greeks or anything along the lines when I rushed.

Ignorant? Sure. I wouldn't say stupid, though.

Your point, which was not lost on me, is that sometimes people just don't know. That doesn't make them stupid.

You point was anywhere near about the differences between fraternity and sorority recruitment because you already stated that what you said and did was taboo on your campus.

People read what they feel like reading. smh

33girl 05-30-2013 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HQWest (Post 2218940)
But Kids DO get rejected if they have all over Facebook their first choice was UGA and they end up at Auburn (just not by the admissions office...):confused:

Yep, if I was applying to competitive schools I certainly wouldn't say what my first choice was or be buying their stuff online, as I would look like a jackass if what I wanted did not occur. I think ASTalumna06 hit the nail on the head when she said many of these kids have NEVER been told "no, you can't have that" or "no, that prize is only for the people who do the best job." Time to learn.

MaggieXi 05-30-2013 12:18 PM

Hijak: My one year old was watching Barney the other day. The episode talked about how everyone should get a trophy, even if you loose. This is where this stuff starts. The TV was promptly shut off. Barney is now banned (and so is Calliou, but that is for different reasons).

Sciencewoman 05-30-2013 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2219000)
Yep, if I was applying to competitive schools I certainly wouldn't say what my first choice was or be buying their stuff online, as I would look like a jackass if what I wanted did not occur. I think ASTalumna06 hit the nail on the head when she said many of these kids have NEVER been told "no, you can't have that" or "no, that prize is only for the people who do the best job." Time to learn.

We have a merit scholarship competition at the university where I teach. Accepted "top" HS seniors come with their parents for a Saturday, where the kids interview, write an essay, the families have a tour, presentation, etc. You would not believe how common it is for parents to wear hats, shirts, etc. with another university's logo/name. I don't care if you're an alum of that school -- DON'T wear "the competition's" logo when you're asking us to give your child a huge scholarship! Interestingly, the kids never do this.

DeltaBetaBaby 05-30-2013 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2219000)
Yep, if I was applying to competitive schools I certainly wouldn't say what my first choice was or be buying their stuff online, as I would look like a jackass if what I wanted did not occur. I think ASTalumna06 hit the nail on the head when she said many of these kids have NEVER been told "no, you can't have that" or "no, that prize is only for the people who do the best job." Time to learn.

My mom even cautioned me about being seen too often over the summer with the XYZ's, because word would get around.

honeychile 05-30-2013 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi (Post 2219002)
Hijak: My one year old was watching Barney the other day. The episode talked about how everyone should get a trophy, even if you loose. This is where this stuff starts. The TV was promptly shut off. Barney is now banned (and so is Calliou, but that is for different reasons).

Not wanting to hijack the thread, but I agree. This whole "there are no losers, only winners" attitude needs to change to learning to be a gracious loser at times. Not everyone excels at everything.

carnation 05-30-2013 12:46 PM

I'm embarrassed for the clueless ones who spread their desired chapters' names around the Internet, especially if there's nooo way they're going to end up there. Some of the clueless ones will remove everything like that from their social media and stop trumpeting it around town if someone sits down with them and enlightens them about discretion. (This is in the category of the Pocahontas song line about "things you never knew you never knew".)

It's tons worse when girls know it's ill-bred to do that and keep it up, especially when they do it because they're sure they deserve certain chapters only.

SydneyK 05-30-2013 12:58 PM

Continuing your hijack, Maggie...
Quote:

Originally Posted by MaggieXi (Post 2219002)
Hijak: My one year old was watching Barney the other day. The episode talked about how everyone should get a trophy, even if you loose. This is where this stuff starts. The TV was promptly shut off. Barney is now banned (and so is Calliou, but that is for different reasons).

I hear ya. Calliou was banned in our house because of the incessant whining. Barney was banned for a reason similar to what you posted. And SpongeBob is banned because the characters' voices grate on my nerves like sandpaper.

As for this hijack...
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman (Post 2219003)
You would not believe how common it is for parents to wear hats, shirts, etc. with another university's logo/name. I don't care if you're an alum of that school -- DON'T wear "the competition's" logo when you're asking us to give your child a huge scholarship! Interestingly, the kids never do this.

I'd say that most of these parents actually ARE alum of the school, which would be why the kids aren't doing it (since the kids aren't alum of any school yet). I guess I can see what you're saying, but I don't think it would bother me if I were in your shoes. Perhaps instead of viewing it as the parents supporting "the competition", you could look at it as interviewing kids who were raised in a home where institutional loyalty (and probably financial gifting) is commonplace. I know that if I were hand-picking students for a scholarship, I would prefer to help a student who I think will support the university after they've left.

lake 05-30-2013 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp (Post 2219008)
I feel the same way about colors/mascot etc. and choosing a university, but we all know it happens all the time. Ditto choosing based on legacy.

Not to hijack this thread, but I would LOVE to hear stories of this actually happening. That's almost as intriguing (and baffling) to me as someone who transfers schools because they didn't get the sorority they wanted at their original school. Crazy!

MaryPoppins 05-30-2013 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2219007)
ill-bred

You are my people! Is it possible we are cousins? Related to anyone in the Delta?

pshsx1 05-30-2013 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle (Post 2218980)
Fraternity rush is COMPLETELY different. Completely. Announcing you were only interested in one fraternity is not on a par with announcing you are only interested in certain sororities. As you point out, you were able to participate in a far more informal and unstructured recruitment. The way sorority recruitment works punishes pnms who are ignorant or foolish in a way fraternity recruitment does not.

FWIW, I know that fraternity recruitment is way different than formal sorority recruitment. Keep in mind, though, there are plenty of schools, like my own, where formal recruitment does not exist which is why I still use the term "Rush." Also, a random PNM who stumbled on this board may have absolutely no idea that there is a difference.

Also, to elaborate, I told an NPHC org that I was rushing SigEp. So, had I not gotten a bid from SPE, I instantly ruined some of my chances.

But nonetheless, my post was not at all in regards to how mush "easier" or different fraternity recruitment is or anything along those lines. I was just pointing out that the posts calling PNMs stupid were uncalled for. Ignorant? Sure.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sen's Revenge (Post 2218999)
Your point, which was not lost on me, is that sometimes people just don't know. That doesn't make them stupid.

You point was anywhere near about the differences between fraternity and sorority recruitment because you already stated that what you said and did was taboo on your campus.

People read what they feel like reading. smh

Thank you.

-----------------

Can we also all think for a minute how many of us on GC didn't EVER plan on going Greek? Or how many people didn't even know about Greek Life? And how many people don't have Greeks in their families?

That's how PNMs make "dumb" mistakes. I promise you, a lot of girls (and guys) just don't know.

MaryPoppins 05-30-2013 01:47 PM

Sorry, I just beg to differ. SEC Recruitment = Mordor. You need a posse, and you need one before you even contemplate SEC Recruitment. That info is all over the web, and your local alumnae panhellenic. Of course a clueless PNM might have as her primary source of information that site "which shall not be named," or some other silly similar craptastic site. If she is that naive, she won't make it to second round, just like Sean Bean doesn't make the second reel in most movies or series.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5...ymloo2_500.jpg

I may be a Southerner but I'm also a secret geek Southerner.


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