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-   -   Advice for PNMs: Not getting a bid to your 1st choice. (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=106678)

DeltaBetaBaby 09-14-2010 10:29 PM

A few more things:

1) A lot of women don't feel 100% at home until their sophomore year, when they actually move into the chapter house with their new sisters. This is totally normal.

2) On bid night, some chapters give girls something like a temporary big sis, with real bigs chosen later. If the girl paired with you on bid night is not the one you hoped for, it is not a reflection on you. The fact is, on the active side, some women are great rushers, and others are not. When we do the pairings, there are actives who know zero of the new women and we have to do our best to pair them with a new member based on something like major or common interest or something. This is often a very hectic process that takes place in a matter of minutes as we get ready for the NM's.

3) All sororities have formal, and barndance, and mixers, and everything else. All sororities get paired for events with frats that have some hot guys and some fugs.

4) Having friends in other chapters puts you in a great position for things like running for student government. Heck, just being greek makes other greeks more likely to vote for you.

rollthedice 09-14-2010 11:12 PM

Also, I know I am not really in the place to be giving advice here since I DID get my first choice, but please don't say rude or condescending things to girls who got a bid to your first choice and are happy. It's not fair.


(One of my "friends" has been a real piece of work lately. She almost brought me to tears yesterday. Why? because I got into her first choice house while she got into a house she wasn't interested in but still put down on her bid card. She was accusing me of being disloyal to her and selfish. She was acting like I should de-pledge since she didn't get a bid and we're friends.)

ellebud 09-14-2010 11:50 PM

ummm...no you're not...friends I mean.

southbymidwest 09-15-2010 12:22 AM

Yeah. Like they say, "with friends like that who needs enemies?" Real friends, despite their own disappointment, are happy for their friends who got a bid to their first choice.

KSUViolet06 10-14-2010 03:18 PM

bumping!

AXOrushadvisor 10-14-2010 05:07 PM

I ran across this statistic today looking for something else on our recent recruitment. I thought it might be worth sharing in this thread.

Number of PNMs Receiving
1st Choice 587
2nd Choice 56

The thing that I find fascinating while I read recruitment stories is that most of the time when women don't get their 1st choice I go back and read what they said about their 2nd choice. There are usually very positive things said about their second choice and the Chapter is usually ranked top 5 going into Preference. So maybe they are not their "real" second choice because that group that they ranked as "2" didn't invite them back so they are 3, 4 or 5 in their ranking. I think that these young women get so caught up in only wanting to be in their number one choice coupled with the fact that they don't think they will ever get their second or third choice (sort of the "this wont happen to me") that they have a hard time getting past the disappointment.

DeltaBetaBaby 10-14-2010 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor (Post 1994410)
I ran across this statistic today looking for something else on our recent recruitment. I thought it might be worth sharing in this thread.

Number of PNMs Receiving
1st Choice 587
2nd Choice 56

The thing that I find fascinating while I read recruitment stories is that most of the time when women don't get their 1st choice I go back and read what they said about their 2nd choice. There are usually very positive things said about their second choice and the Chapter is usually ranked top 5 going into Preference. So maybe they are not their "real" second choice because that group that they ranked as "2" didn't invite them back so they are 3, 4 or 5 in their ranking. I think that these young women get so caught up in only wanting to be in their number one choice coupled with the fact that they don't think they will ever get their second or third choice (sort of the "this wont happen to me") that they have a hard time getting past the disappointment.

What school are you at?

At my school, women preffed at 3 house, and I think it was more like 60% getting their first choice, 30% getting second choice, and 10% getting third choice.

Gatorbaby 10-14-2010 09:45 PM

Great advice! Though I'm still a NM myself, I have something else to add:
Rush didn't go fantastically for me. Maybe it was my hair, maybe it was my make-up (or lack thereof - I am an advocate of a very natural look), maybe it was my conversational skills. Heck if I know, and heck if it matters.
Houses keep you if they think you'd fit in. These ladies know. Take Rush with a grain of salt. It isn't a reflection on you, your personality, or your intelligence. It's speed dating to the maximum which, apparently, I'm not fantastic at. Anyhow, I adore the house that I picked (and who picked me!), so things really did (and do) work out for the best. I'm still settling in, but have found some remarkable women in my chapter that I can look up to and who have been kind enough to befriend and mentor me.
Anyhow, I did get my top choice, we are a top house on campus, and I have met some good friends in my PC as well! I am very proud to represent this organization as a newly-initiated sister!

Barbie's_Rush 10-14-2010 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gatorbaby (Post 1994490)
Great advice! Though I'm still a NM myself, I have something else to add:
Rush didn't go fantastically for me. Maybe it was my hair, maybe it was my make-up (or lack thereof - I am an advocate of a very natural look), maybe it was my conversational skills. Heck if I know, and heck if it matters.
Houses keep you if they think you'd fit in. These ladies know. Take Rush with a grain of salt. It isn't a reflection on you, your personality, or your intelligence. It's speed dating to the maximum which, apparently, I'm not fantastic at. Anyhow, I adore the house that I picked (and who picked me!), so things really did (and do) work out for the best. I'm still settling in, but have found some remarkable women in my chapter that I can look up to and who have been kind enough to befriend and mentor me.
Anyhow, I did get my top choice, we are a top house on campus, and I have met some good friends in my PC as well! I am very proud to represent this organization as a newly-initiated sister!

Was that supposed to make a disappointed new member feel better?

Gatorbaby 10-15-2010 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush (Post 1994500)
Was that supposed to make a disappointed new member feel better?

Perhaps I miscommunicated.
My point is this: Despite all of those other houses dropping me, I did get my first choice which happened to be a house with a strong presence and substantial respect on-campus.
No matter what happens, it happens for the best and I'm happy now.
My intention wasn't to make a disappointed new member feel anything but what was realistic to feel from the Rush process - sometimes people like you and sometimes they don't. Houses drop you and sometimes they don't. Those that don't drop you are worth your time, energy, and effort because they want to invest the aforementioned things in you as well! Don't take the process personally.
That's all. :)

FSUZeta 10-15-2010 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gatorbaby (Post 1994552)
Perhaps I miscommunicated.
My point is this: Despite all of those other houses dropping me, I did get my first choice which happened to be a house with a strong presence and substantial respect on-campus.
No matter what happens, it happens for the best and I'm happy now.
My intention wasn't to make a disappointed new member feel anything but what was realistic to feel from the Rush process - sometimes people like you and sometimes they don't. Houses drop you and sometimes they don't. Those that don't drop you are worth your time, energy, and effort because they want to invest the aforementioned things in you as well! Don't take the process personally.
That's all. :)

good advice, new sister. happy founders day!

Alumiyum 10-15-2010 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor (Post 1994410)
I ran across this statistic today looking for something else on our recent recruitment. I thought it might be worth sharing in this thread.

Number of PNMs Receiving
1st Choice 587
2nd Choice 56

The thing that I find fascinating while I read recruitment stories is that most of the time when women don't get their 1st choice I go back and read what they said about their 2nd choice. There are usually very positive things said about their second choice and the Chapter is usually ranked top 5 going into Preference. So maybe they are not their "real" second choice because that group that they ranked as "2" didn't invite them back so they are 3, 4 or 5 in their ranking. I think that these young women get so caught up in only wanting to be in their number one choice coupled with the fact that they don't think they will ever get their second or third choice (sort of the "this wont happen to me") that they have a hard time getting past the disappointment.

I think on my campus the statistic isn't quite that stacked, but I remember as a Gamma Rho listening to everyone's stories of recruitment one night. I think about three of us got our first choice. No one else did, and all of them were happy, active members who couldn't imagine being anywhere else. None of them indicated they regretted taking a bid from their second or even last choice.

DeltaBetaBaby 10-15-2010 09:09 AM

Another thing that is tough is when Suzie PNM down the hall gets into your first choice, and then you have to sit there and think "wow, what does she have that I don't?" Well, maybe she's a legacy or maybe she had a rec from the national president or maybe she just really clicked with her rusher.

Also, when you are thinking you are the only one who got their second choice: a few girls on my floor dropped out of rush or didn't accept their bids because their parents wouldn't let them continue on. In retrospect, it's pretty clear that they didn't get their top choices and were saving face.

carnation 10-15-2010 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 1994582)
Another thing that is tough is when Suzie PNM down the hall gets into your first choice, and then you have to sit there and think "wow, what does she have that I don't?" Well, maybe she's a legacy or maybe she had a rec from the national president or maybe she just really clicked with her rusher.

I think what's hardest about that is if you find out that she didn't have anything special going for her except 1 or 2 vocal members from her hometown pulling for her. And maybe you're a legacy and would've cherished those letters she's flaunting...and your grades are higher and you had a great resume..and you both went to prefs but not all NPCs require that legacies be on the first bid list.

(I have heard this very story at least 3 times in the last 10 years from fabulous girls.)

baci 10-15-2010 11:03 AM

So true carnation^^

This happened countless times when I was at UF. It broke my heart to see many girls dropped throughout recruitment that were really special girls.


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