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MTSUGURL 03-12-2003 01:50 AM

Rush - What to NOT do or say
Instead of asking for tips for recruitment and hearing, "keep an open mind" and "be yourself":
We all want to make a good impression, and we all have "off" days. I just read the thread about the married woman wanting to rush, and I agree that in no way should that be keep quiet. What kind of things would you advise PNMs to keep quiet or avoid doing?
If you could say, "No matter what, don't __________________!", what would you fill in the blank with?

AOIIalum 03-12-2003 07:49 AM

Re: Rush - What to NOT do or say
No matter what, don't pretend to be something or someone else just to fit in to a sorority or particular chapter.

Of course, always put your best foot forward and be at the top of your game during recruitment! But, don't try to re-invent yourself into something you're not. If you can't see yourself after an all night study session, no makeup, in desperate need of a shower, basically at your worst with the girls in a sorority, then it just may not be the one for you.

Make sense? Hope so!

oceanphi01 03-12-2003 08:32 AM

No matter what, donm't bring up controversial topics, such as abortion. One PNM brought this up during formal recruitment and told us about the big sign she and her family had on the top of her house about how abortion was wrong. She brought this up to the wrong person and acted like she was right and no one else was. That was a big turn off for her getting a bid from us.

Kevin 03-12-2003 09:06 AM

A gentleman never discusses politics or religion... That's always a pretty good rule to follow.

MoxieGrrl 03-12-2003 09:45 AM

If you are a legacy to a certain house, don' t mention anything about how you are "guaranteed a bid."

33girl 03-12-2003 10:03 AM

No matter what, don't ever utter the phrase "I am going to pledge XYZ" or "When I am a sister of XYZ." Before, during or after rush.

How would you like it if a random man walked up to you and said "I am going to marry you" or "When you are my wife, we will yadda yadda yadda"?? You'd think he was an arrogant jerk, that's what.

And lesson learned from Sorority Life - if you have an odd situation that could affect your eligibility - like being a transfer or a problem with your transcripts - make sure it gets cleared up through the Greek life office before you even start rush.

shadowstar 03-12-2003 01:38 PM

don't spike your drink at rush parties.
i'm serious, it does happen, and the results sure aren't good.
also, make sure you get your questions about a house answered before you decide to pledge there, so you aren't regretting your decision later and stuck having to wait to pledge a different house.

twinstars 03-12-2003 03:54 PM

During rush parties...

--talk about controversial things like political views, abortion, race, etc. You really don't know (and may not be able to tell) if you're rubbing the other person the wrong way. It's okay if you don't agree with the other person, fine, but it's just not appropriate talk with someone you just met at a sorority rush party.

--talk about guys (unless you know someone in common in a non-sketchy way), hookups, drinking, drugs, or excessively talk about your party life. You wouldn't want to make it sounds like there's nothing more to you than liking to have a good time.

--talk much (or at all!) about other sororities. You look bad if you trash another house, and if you say you like another house, the girls at the house you're at may think you don't want them.

Don't forget that the upperclass Greek women are watching you during fall term, whether you have open contact (are allowed to talk/hang out) or not. They are observing you in class, at parties, in extracurricular clubs, etc. Some rushees are completely unaware that what you do during the term before rush week really does count, either for you or against you. By the time actual rush begins, many Greek girls will already have formed an opinion of you by observing you in other situations. You need to be on your best behavior most of the time in public. Don't talk loudly about sororities in public places... you never know if a sorority girl is standing near you, or if one's boyfriend is. This is especially true at small colleges where the gossip mill is out of control.

nucutiepie 03-12-2003 04:52 PM

My chapter uses the "4 Bs" of conversation topics to avoid:

1) BOYS - you never know what someone's history with a boy is. You could be talking up the guy who broke someone's heart or trashing their boyfriend... and a few years ago there was a rushee who was gushing about her boyfriend to an active... who just happened to be the guys girlfriend who he was cheating on with the rushee... the poor active just burst into tears.

2) BOOZE - Rush is not the time to tell "and oh my God, I was SOOOOOOOO DRUNK" stories! We tell our actives if a rushee brings it up to go with it but not bring it up ourself.

3) BANKBOOK - Rush is not about how much money you and/or your family have, at least not in my chapter; generally its just tactful to avoid this as a topic of conversation.

4) BELIEFS - Religion, politics, anything similarly controversial fits under this umbrella... while it is nice to show a girl you care, rush is generally not the time for a spirited ideological debate. If an active asks you what you do for extracurricular activities and the correct answer is, "Hillel" or "Campus Crusade for Christ" or an anti-war group, tell the truth, but don't purposely start debates or make controversial comments (ie, this would not be the time to discuss pro-life vs. pro-choice)

nucutiepie 03-12-2003 04:54 PM

Also, to back up twinstars, DO NOT talk about other sororities at rush party - we had a girl who wanted to be an XYZ come through this year and all she would talk to girls in MY sorority (pi Beta Phi) about was her overwhelming desire to be in XYZ, how she looooved this girl she met at XYZ, etc... we took it as an insult, because frankly it was pretty insulting to us.

PinkRose1098 03-12-2003 05:21 PM

We've always been told that the five B's are off limits during Recruitment:


MTSUGURL 03-12-2003 06:02 PM

When we were holding rush for the service org I was in, we had a girl tell us that she had stolen a bunch of stuff from the place she worked when they went out of business. She didn't understand why we cut her....

In other words, don't mention illegal activity.

sugar and spice 03-12-2003 07:27 PM

I was always told that the four B's were rush no-no's: boys, beer, bank account, and Bible.

Boys (especially fraternity boys!): if you have a boyfriend, obviously you can mention this -- or any time the rusher brings up something where you might have to allude to boys, it's fine. Otherwise, I'd stay away from it. You don't want to be going, "Oh my god, I love ABC fraternity!" when you have no idea how the rusher feels about them. She might think that your gushing about fraternity boys means you only want to be in a sorority to meet men. Or their sorority may not be on the best of terms with the ABC boys. Or her very recent ex-boyfriend may be an ABC who just cheated on her and dumped her for a new girl. Whatever the case is, it's a touchy subject. You also don't want to mention any subjects that might offend some of the girls with more "moral" upbringings than yours, too -- don't mention the fact that you stayed at some random guy's house the night before, etc.

Beer: you don't want to say anything that might lead them to believe that you won't represent the sorority well. While most of the sorority girls I know do drink, it's pretty much understood that you don't talk about it during rush.

Bank account: you don't want to talk about money simply because you have no idea how it could affect your rusher. If you have a lot of money, this may be looked at as a good thing, or they may assume you're snobby. If you don't have a ton of money, they may think you won't be able to pay sorority dues, or they may assume you're more down-to-earth. Of course there are occasions where the subject may come up -- if they ask you what you did over the summer, you should tell the truth whether the answer is "I went on a six-week tour of Europe" or "I worked 60 hours a week" -- but in generally you should try to avoid the topic.

Bible: obviously religion is off-limits during rush, and this goes for other controversial beliefs too. Basically anything you wouldn't talk about with somebody you just met, you wouldn't talk about during rush -- abortion, political leanings, the death penalty, whatever.

Also, don't be too negative. If they ask you how your classes are going, how you like your dorm, your roommate -- find something positive to say, even if you hate all your classes, your dorm room is worse than a prison and your roommate is a psychopath! It definitely doesn't make for a good impression to complain about everything. I know that for my sorority, girls with positive attitudes are one of the first things we look for, and it definitely makes a better impression than somebody who whines about everything.

I don't think it's that hard to figure out -- just imagine what you would talk about with someone you met in a non-rush setting and go from there.

UKDaisy 03-12-2003 08:33 PM

Wow! I can not believe how much this topic is helping me right now. Especially AOIIalum's comment about makeup and stuff. That is really true!

AOIIalum 03-12-2003 10:39 PM

Awww, I helped someone! What a great feeling!

Here's another one I thought of today, while wearing my Corporation Board President hat:

"No matter what, don't assume!"

Just because you know 'everyone' in JKL and your 'best friend' is in UV, that does not mean you get a bid. It also doesn't mean that you will even like JKL or UV! If you like PQR the best for you, then that's the answer :)

Gosh, it's so easy to say all this now. I wish I knew all this stuff 20 years ago!


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