Reasons NOT to pledge a sorority?
 

I am a senior in high school on the West Coast, and know very very few sorority women. However, I will be attending a very competitive SEC school next year, and I'm trying to weigh the pros and cons of going through recruitment and potentially pledging a sorority.

What is sorority life REALLY like? I've read countless stories and threads about the amazing benefits of being part of a sisterhood and the opportunities, but what are the pitfalls?

I might be touching on a sensitive subject, I don't know, but I value what the people on this board think are negatives more than a GDI who simply resents the greek system. Thank you!

It can be expensive, especially in the SEC. Make sure you have the funds to pay for a sorority before you rush. However, in my opinion, it's worth the money.

I don't know that a board full of people who are GREEK would have much to tell you about not joining the organizations that they cherish :confused:

I can think of a few.

1. Do not accept a bid to a sorority if you are already struggling academically in a serious way. Meeting the minimum GPA doesn't always mean that you are a-okay. You know if you just squeaked by. Sorority life can certainly boost a woman's academic performance as she learns time management and gets support from sisters, but the time that a new member will give to sorority activities might be better used in focusing on her studies.

2. If you absolutely know you are not going to be able to pay the dues, do not join.

3. Sorority chapters are operated under the leadership of college women. These women often do an amazing job and successfully plan and execute wonderful events while maintaining the basic day-to-day chapter operations. However, they are young and learning. Drama does happen. Meetings are not always smooth and easy. If you truly cannot tolerate drama and meetings that are not perfectly efficient, sorority life might put you over the edge.

4. If you are terrible at balancing work and play, think hard before joining. This isn't exclusive to Greek life. Always look closely at your strengths and weaknesses in the area of responsibility and time management before taking on any big time commitment if you aren't good at having a full plate. Be honest with yourself, but also, don't be afraid to push yourself a little. Sorority life might push you to develop those skills.

Okay, this might not sound totally PC, but here it is.

I would counsel any woman who has a problem with alcohol, drugs, anorexia, bulimia, etc. to really think long and hard before joining a sorority. If she is prone to fall to the temptations, then she will have to be very careful about where she pledges.

Every chapter is different. In some chapters you would rarely find these things a widespread problem. Are there individual sisters with these issues? Yes. But the chapter as a whole doesn't subtly and not-so-subtly encourage them.

There are other chapters where a woman struggling with these issues would be walking into a very unhealthy situation.

Can you tell from the outside during recruitment what the chapter is really like internally? I'll leave it to others to debate that issue. I just know if I had a daughter or a friend's daughter who was thinking of recruitment and who struggled with these issues... I don't know if I would encourage her to rush. At the very least I would have a REALLY frank conversation with her.

My two cents. Your mileage may vary. :)

If you are not a joiner, accept commitment with enthusiasm and/or aspire to leadership, it's probably not the place for you.

You have to understand there will be things you don't want to do and sisters within the house you cannot stand. If you can't suck it up, this is not the place for you. MOST of the things asked of you and most of your sisters will be awesome, but some girls go ape-shit over the first negative thing in their life and the first response is to bail.

If you are on a sports team that is going to require every spare minute of your time or the real (and only) reason that you're going so far away from home is to spend every minute of the day with your boyfriend, sorority probably isn't going to work. Yes, you can be on teams, have time-intensive majors and have boyfriends, but they can't control so much of your life that meetings, parties, mixers etc. get brushed aside.

I think it is REALLY healthy to think about these things in advance. I think you will find that yes, all of these things will work for you, but it comes as such a surprise to so many girls. If you can spend some time thinking about what kind of college student you want to be, then you can be prepared for rush, and hopefully some time will be spent on what kind of sisterhood you want to be part of and whether or not status and tiers mean more to you than lifelong friendships. Good luck!

You will have to accept that a certain amount of conformity is involved. You will be expected to dress and act like an SEC sorority girl. No wearing a nose ring or dying your hair purple or acting like a slut.

When you join a sorority it is a life long membership. Be prepared for that and the responsibilities that come with it.

You have to have good time management skills. There are a lot of events that are mandatory. Some events you wont want to attend but you have too. Being in a sorority is a big time commitment.

If you don't like being told what to do it probably isn't for you. It takes a lot of work to keep a Chapter running. You will be expected to pitch in and help.

If you don't have good morals and values it probably isn't the place for you. We hold our women to high standards. If you don't have high standards you will be in standards.

Sorority life is expensive, however, if you break it down by events and things your getting with your dues it is a bargain.

You will grow more then you ever thought you would with sorority life. It is a life changing experience.

You will be an ace interviewer when you go out to get a job. After doing formal recruitment for 4 years you will be able to talk to any body. Recruitment is like a job interview.

Greeks tend to hire Greeks. There are a lot of us out there in a position to hire and network. I would hire a Greek- especially one that held offices over a non Greek all day long.

Borrowing because this is so excellent!

I want to point out the fact that you qualified your post with this:

to any other potential sorority women who may be reading this thread and freaking out.

There are most definitely some purple-haired nose-ring-wearing sorority women outside the SEC. (Probably a slut or two as well...actually those are everywhere, some just cover it up better.)

This is a huge generalization, but basically the more preparation you have to put into rush, the more rigid the rules/time constraints/$$ obligations are going to be. Yes, EVERY chapter has rules. However, it's a given that a chapter with 200+ women (like those in the SEC) is going to have more rules than a chapter of 40 women - just because there is no way that everyone's going to know everyone intimately and understand/ask/counsel on their motivations for doing things.

This all being said I'm going to throw in a few more that apply to ANY chapter.

-If the only reason you're joining a sorority is to "network" don't bother. Join professional organizations instead.

-If you have a boyfriend/fiance and are going to refuse to participate in any activity that involves socializing with men, don't bother.

To OP: You should at least go through recruitment simply BECAUSE you are coming into a new culture from the west coast to the SEC and decide if you want to pursue sorority life. It will help you to meet new people and you might feel more secure being part of a group, IMO.

Drama queens (you know who you are :rolleyes: ) need not apply.

I should also mention that if you realize during recruitment that you would have a problem with dues or rules or recruitment and this is not for you - please drop out of recruitment. Don't make a scene on bid day or right before initiation.

Joining a sorority is the second biggest commitment you will make after school responsibilities. School first, Sorority Second - and sometimes it will feel like sorority is first.

OP: You seemed a little hesitant to post your question, but you've created a great thread. As a previous poster said, it is really healthy to think through these things ahead of time. There is good information here. Best wishes to you!

Good advice by LowCSharp - I love the McDonald's in France analogy. BUT you need to start NOW getting your ducks in a row.

From what I have learned on here, the whole "recs are the end all be all" scenario is foreign to the west coast. So you may have a hard time finding recs and getting these women to understand how important they are for your success.

Start compiling a list of women who are alumnae of the groups on your campus, reaching out to them to let them know you are planning to go through recruitment, etc. It may take a while to find 3 - 5 for each house and have them mailed in by July 1.