Yet to be Themed Re-recruitment Story
 

Well, I’m back! To those who read my previous recruitment story, hi! To those who have not, hi, you might want to read this before you read my new recruitment story! http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=144230
So after months of thinking, I’ve made my decision to give Fall recruitment one last shot. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. Going through recruitment is hard. Having a recruitment not go as you wanted is hard. Having to go through the rollercoaster again is going to be hard.
While my recruitment isn’t for a short while (it’s sometime this month…), I figured I’d hold my place and update y'all on my life and how I’m approaching recruitment this go around. I’m not going to “live update” per say, but I wanted to get some reactions to my mindset before everything begins and maybe as its going. Until I can post my full story, I will NOT be naming names, even the coded names I used last time. I’m unsure if I want to rename all of the chapters yet, or use the preexisting names when I post my full story, but for the sake of anonymity pre-recruitment and during recruitment, I will not be stating code names of chapters in case someone stumbles upon this rambling. I PROMISE I will not leave you all hanging. Feel free to PM me if you think I know where I go or if you have questions that I prefer not to answer publicly at this time.
All that said, here’s an update about me and my campus before we get started…
For people too lazy to read my old story, I’m from the north and I go to school in the south. I’m now a sophomore in college (crazy to think about!). Since I’ve been on campus, I’ve taken a leadership position in a club within my academic department, become a member of two other campus clubs, started working on campus in a pretty difficult position to get into, interned two different places (one near campus, one over the summer at home), and kept up my 4.0 GPA. I have no legacies and (despite what happened with my last recruitment attempt) I do not have any rec letters.
Going into recruitment this semester has been…awkward? I know someone in every chapter on campus, whether it be a group project team member, classmate, co-worker, or close friend. I’ve had some of my closer friends seemingly avoid me because I’m a PNM, I’ve had girls tell me they’re “so excited” that I’m going through recruitment and that they’ve “heard great things” about me, I’ve had one of my closest friends who is a recruitment counselor tell me that there are girls she wants in her house but she has no control over it and everything happens for a reason, and I’ve had another one of my friends tell me point blank to rush her chapter. I’m uncomfortable with it all. I know I over think everything, but right now I can’t tell if these people are playing me, if they’re setting me up for failure, if they’re just being nice, or if they actually want me in their house.
To complicate things even more my best friend is also rushing this semester. She rushed last year but was dropped by all of the chapters because of an outstanding campus violation that has since been cleared from her record. Am I worried that her previous history could effect my own? Yes, probably more than I should. We have both accepted that if we end up getting bids, we will most likely not be in the same house. I’m glad I have someone so close to me in a similar situation, but I’m also worried about our friendship getting in the way of recruitment.
So that’s where I’m at right now. I’m so excited for recruitment to start, but also terribly nervous! Wish me luck!!

I just read your other recruitment thread. It sounds like you have had a great first year of college - great GPA, busy and involved on campus including leadership roles, etc. I guess I'm a little surprised that you do not have recs, even though it was pointed to as a possible reason that your last recruitment wasn't as successful as you would have liked?

I am also surprised that you have not lined up any recs for yourself. They ARE important, as some Nationals cannot offer a bid without a rec.

If there is still time, can you contact your local panhellenic or individual chapter alum organizations to hopefully meet up with alums and get recs?

I agree that it sounds like you had a great first year! Now you need the recs!

^^^THIS!!!^^^

CANNOT OFFER A BID WITHOUT A REC!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^ YOU NEED TO GET AT LEAST ONE REC FOR EVERY CHAPTER^^^^^^^

Please don't sabotage your chances again this year - get those recs!!

What was your thought process about not getting any recs? You know that recs could have been a serious issue in your last rush, yet you chose not to get any this time around?

So in my past story, I was told by my then rho gamma that I should have recs. Prior to this year's rush, I talked to my current rho gamma, my rho gamma friend, our director of campus student involvement, and multiple girls in other chapters. I was told that at my school, recs are not looked at unless it is a legacy. Seeing as I am not a legacy, the recs are useless.
My rho gamma friend told me that my previous rho gamma likely made the excuse to make me feel better after having a rough recruitment week. Remember that my school is not huge, we have a fairly relaxed greek system.
I'm going into recruitment with the philosophy that whatever happens, happens. I'm not "going" for a certain chapter and I'm not going out of my way to suck up to my sorority friends before recruitment. The biggest difference between me this year and me last year is that I now have established ties on campus. Last year, my recruitment fell late and I avoided joining other campus activities because I wanted to dedicate time to a sorority. As a result, most people on my campus didn't recognize me and thought I wasn't involved because I was holding out for recruitment.
I'm not worried about not having recs, but I guess we'll know if they make a difference soon enough!

They're either lying or you misinterpreted their responses. I know what MY sorority's policy is on recs and I have an assumption about a handful of other sororities (as in, if you're in the south and you don't have a rec, see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya). But they cannot say what any other sorority's private membership policies are.

You know people; presumably some of these women are now friends. Likely they can't write you a rec, but their mother, aunt, sister who graduated last year, etc. can. I would work your tail off to get recs, even a few, even at this late date.

I think you are intentionally sabotaging your rush. When it doesn't go well, you can blame not having recs.

I wish you the best of luck!

FACT - My sorority CANNOT offer a bid without a rec, even if they LOVE the potential new member. I do not believe my sorority is unique in this. It is possible the chapter can call around to your hometown during rush and try to find a rec for you if they want you bad enough.

But at a big SEC style rush, why would they bother? You may be awesome, but so are 1500 other girls. Move on to the ones who are great AND made it easy on them.

^^^ EXACTLY!!! Even where rush is less competitive, it is a very hectic time for actives and especially for the recruitment team. Counting on a group to get a rec for you "if they really want you" once rush starts is a very risky proposition. Don't count on it! Not at all!

If you have almost a month before Recruitment, PLEASE try and get recommendations.
Even though your school in the South is not SEC, it's still the South.

Here's an example in the post-collegiate world: You know an employee at a company that you're interviewing with and really want to be hired. But you don't even ask the current employee to talk to the Hiring Manager about you.

Last year, did you have a good resume and grades?
This year, sounds like you have a great GPA and activities?
Did you improve anything else from last year? Because, if you didn't, what is missing from this picture???
Could it be ... recommendations?

Are you sure you roll the dice on having NO recs a 2nd time?

Rec policies vary from sorority to sorority and from campus to campus, but I would never advise any PNM to attempt to go through recruitment in the south without recs. Especially if one is going through a second time. To be blunt, your rho gamma gave you really shitty feedback.

To answer your concerns about the positive feedback you're getting, I would think that you should consider it as being sincere. However, bear in mind that some chapters have a once cut always cut policy, and the people you are talking to now may not have been on the sister side of recruitment yet and may not be privy to what happened last year. Moreover, a handful of women in a chapter may or may not be enough to get you invited back.

Wishing OP the best of luck re-rushing this year. Her story brought up a question I had for some of the alums. I go to a school where 90% of girls don't get recs. Few, if any, of my sorority friends had recs when they went through. I've heard that groups required a rec for a bid but what does a chapter with that policy do at a school like mine where they take over 50 NM's, most of whom don't have recs? I am assuming the no bid without a rec policy has to vary by campus?

This is the same situation on my campus. Last year, 8 of my now closest friends received bids across five of the six sororities. Of those girls, only 1 had a legacy and recs. The other 7 did not and they were all placed into houses. I know recs are important in the south, but at my school specifically, at least coming from the people I have talked to, recs are not a big thing.

To those who believe there is "misrepresentation" in this story, I'm sorry you feel that way. I am very busy and I assure you I would not waste my time posting falsehoods on the internet. My purpose here is to inform PNMs for years to come and share my re-rush process. Reading threads here has helped me better prepare for this year and I'm hoping to do the same for others.

I have a dinner with my rho gamma and rho gamma group tonight so I'm excited to meet more new students. There is another sophomore in my group that I had classes with in the past so I'm happy to have someone I kind of know along for the ride.

Thank you for all of your suggestions on getting recs. I completely understand where you are coming from.

So here's the correlation I'm hearing: A bunch of people think you have diabetes. You have had a problem with it before, maybe - you did pass out once at the gym. Maybe your blood sugar just crashed because you overworked; maybe it was diabetes. You know several doctors. We know that making an appointment and going to the doctor is a hassle, but at least you don't have to start from scratch. A few people have told you you don't have diabetes. You can cut down on sugar just to play it safe or you can go eat a whole pie just to say screw you to the people who have said you might have diabetes. Of course it's not THEIR feet that will end up getting cut off.

So there you go. Maybe you don't need a rec. Maybe you do. Maybe by having one the chapter/s will get an extra look at you and discover something they didn't know about you that makes you appealing. By not receiving one they are tied to the information they have on you at face value.

You do you.

There are 3 ways a chapter can get recs: 1) rushee does legwork and secures them on her own 2) sorority alumna who knows the rushee (relative, mom's bff, whatever) sends them to the chapter without telling the rushee 3) chapter obtains recs for the rushees they are interested in on their own.

If a sorority's national policy is that all women pledged have recs, they get those recs somehow.

Here's the one reason I think getting recs would be a very good idea. Last year you were cut by most chapters. Having an alumna send in a rec this time might encourage a group to give you another look this year, because "once cut, always cut" is a valid concern, especially on a small campus where people know each other's business. Seriously, be completely open to all groups this time and value every invitation!

I believe, and this was WAY back in the day, we used to have a group of Alumni on hand before pref writing recs for every girl who did not have one that was invited to pref. Kind of a stupid way around the rule, but.... I would totally agree with everyone. Why wouldn't you at least try to get them?

I wish you the best of luck! I went back and read your old thread and I am excited to follow along with you this year. Not to echo what everyone else said, but I think if you have the opportunity to work at getting recs, you definitely should. Even though recs might not be a "big thing" at your school, having them would only benefit you - after all, if 7 out of 8 girls that you know did not have recs, wouldn't you stand out being one of the few that does? Just a thought - best wishes to you. Enjoy your dinner tonight!

Not to beat a dead horse, but...please reconsider getting recommendations. Why would you not give yourself the best chance possible? I look forward to hearing how it goes. I wish you the best and hope that you will take our advice about the recommendations. We WANT you to succeed.

To repeat: If the NATIONAL sorority requires a recommendation in order to get a bid, that PNM MUST have a rec regardless of the individual campus culture.

Many chapters with that national policy will cut a PNM right after the first round if she doesn't already have a rec with them in order to concentrate on those who do as well as not to string along the PNM in hopes that a rec might be forthcoming.

HOWEVER, if this is a campus where they do use recs, the chapter needs to really, really, really want the PNM who is putting through this!

So much truth.

I've been in that pool of alumnae. Should you get a bid, you will be known as "the PNM who didn't have anyone to write a rec for her". It is not a fun place to be.

OP, so many people would not have encouraged you to put some effort into recs if they didn't think they would help you. Not getting the recs even makes you look a little elitist.

With that said, I wish you a good experience in Recruitment.

Rho Gammas can be wonderful resources, but they can only speak with knowledge about the membership policies of their own sorority. (And some can't even do that.) Maybe your Rho Gamma's sorority doesn't require recs. I'm sure she means well, but she is not giving you good advice. In the south, recs will never hurt you and the lack of recs could sink you. Please do what you can to secure recs. Please.

It does still depend on campus culture though doesn't it? If it didn't, how would BGKdLady's post be true? At my campus...if you didn't have recs you'd be cut completely. Not so true at other campuses...

My bio sister went through recruitment at a lax campus without any recs and pledged a group that requires recs. I know because she told me this and did the same things you are doing of emphasizing it before my recruitment. Like I said I went to a much more competitive Greek school so I needed recs anyway. On her campus 99% of PNMs wouldn't have any recs. If the chapter didn't do the alum writing thing, they wouldn't have a pledge class.

I wish that national organizations were forthcoming about any rec requirements because it gets confusing for PNMs who don't have Greek family members to advise them.

Here's the thing - last year, after being cut heavily, the OP reports that her insensitive Rho Chi told her, “Well, that’s what you get for going through recruitment without recs and legacies.”

Logically speaking, I don't think that Rho Chi would have said that unless recs were of some kind of importance on her campus. Right?

Robionseggblue, I'm not going to argue with you. None of us here has intimate knowledge of membership selection for any but our own sorority. And that is confidential for each sorority. For mine, the National policy is for EVERY chapter regardless of individual campus.

PNMs don't know if a rec has been written for them or not. I've never seen mine! Nor do I know what information was in it! Going out and asking for a rec is not the only way of getting one. Back in the day when I pledged, it was considered very bad form to ask for one. It is actually easier now for a PNM as she can ask for consideration for one. This is especially important for a PNM who might otherwise go unnoticed in the crazy world of sorority recruitment.

Please bear in mind that a PNM is NOT going to change the rules of the game! It's each sorority that gives out invitations, not the other way around.

Christ Almighty.... how many times and in how many ways do we have to say this?

NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. If the policy of a sorority states that a rec is required, it is required on ALL CAMPUSES, no matter what the "culture" might be.

Whether or not that rec is written in advance by an alumnae that knows you or by some poor woman frantically scribbling out recs for girls that she has never met in a back room, A REC WAS REQUIRED.

A rec was required for a bid to be given, not to invite the girl back to parties which is what I think robinseggblue meant.

The girls at the OP's school have no idea if recs were sent in for them without their knowledge. If the school is near larger flagship schools where recs are de rigueur and sorority alumnae are writing lots of them, I think it would be likely.

I can assure you that at some schools in some chapters a rec is required and received in hand before recruitment even starts in order to be invited back after round one. The "heavy cuts" after round one we read about here are not always about cuts for grades.

The campus culture mention reminded me -- I have been meaning to ask about some wording I saw on Belmont University's site:

Quote:

Do I need letters of recommendation?

Yet on 3 of the 4 Belmont chapters' websites (AGD, Theta, and Phi Mu) instructions/addresses for sending recs for PNMs are included.
Gotta wonder about that "campus culture" statement on the Belmont Greek Life site, as well as how much PA agreement or commitment there is regarding not supporting this "practice."

It seems like erring on the side of caution (obtaining recs in advance) might be a good idea.

That sounds like yet another chapter in the "jeans are ok for rush per the website (but if you wear them you get cut)" novel.

ETA: there are more than a few things on that Greek Life website that I really wonder if the people who they pertain to were actually consulted.

^^^ Yes! Statements such as these can be such a disservice to young ladies going through recruitment. In this instance, a collegiate panhellenic doesn't have the authority to change any participating sorority's selection process no matter how many votes they make take about it. And of course many GLOs don't accept recs from active members. Why they would want to mislead PNMs is quite beyond me.

YEARS ago, I got a call on a Friday night from a friend in town whose sorority had a chapter at a small southern school. The PNM in question had been my student for 7th grade math and science. Knowing the girl, I said, "Lovely girl. Fine family."

(She pledged a another sorority.)

Yes. No one is doubting that. But there are campuses at the other end of the spectrum where if a chapter, even one with a "must have rec to be bid" policy, cut all the girls that didn't have recs at any time in the rush process, they would have zero girls to choose from.

There are sororities who have a "must have rec to be bid" policy. There are schools where very few rushees have recs before rush starts. Sometimes these two things overlap. How and when those chapters obtain recs is strictly their affair. The main difference of opinion in this thread is whether recs are needed at OP's school - she says they're not because laid back, and mostly everyone else says they are, because rerushing in the south.

Wow, I didn't catch the part about current members the first time around. It makes it sound like they have to get them from chapter members at the school. Who on earth wrote this??!? I googled the Greek life director, it's not like she went to a school without NPCs.

This. ZTA requires a rec for each woman pledged. University of State campus tradition will not trump that requirement. There may be a lone alum feverishly writing recs in a back room for those PNMs the chapter wants to pledge who do not have recs, but if it is a national requirement, there must be a rec.

My sorority requires recs. Period. Fini. End of story. Don't care what campus culture says.

At a school like my alma mater with relatively small pledge classes, we will procure the rec for a PNM we want. At a southern-type school or any other school with a huge rush, it IS possible that our sorority would go through the trouble of procuring recs for a PNM but it is highly unlikely since there are so many others who checked all the boxes, so to speak.

That said, I truly wish you the best of luck in recruitment. You sound like you've done an impressive job in making the most of the last year!