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-   -   Zbt initiating after 72 hours of accepting bid (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=246610)

Henrysmith 10-07-2019 06:36 PM

Zbt initiating after 72 hours of accepting bid
 
I accepted a bid for zbt, and our pledge class got initiated to the fraternity in 72 hours. After being here for a week, I donít see myself fitting in with these guys. I want to drop the fraternity and rush for another fraternity next semester, but I heard that I canít join another fraternity once you are initiated. If this is true, can they cutt me and be able to join another fraternity?

Titchou 10-07-2019 06:47 PM

You can certainly resign your membership any time you want. But pledging another group is a ship that has sailed.

navane 10-07-2019 07:36 PM

Henry,

It seems like not being able to have a full chance to check the fit with a fraternity is one of the downsides to the 72-hour pledge program. I can understand your position. However, to be honest, you've only given it a week or two. That's not really enough time to truly settle in to your fraternity. Since you're a brother now, you might as well stick with it for a bit and see if things improve. Maybe give it to the end of the semester at least? Like Titchou said, you "can" resign your membership at any time; but, joining another fraternity is not likely to be an option for you. Even if your current fraternity headquarters is willing to 100% release you from your vows, another campus fraternity is not likely to bid you. Stick with it ok? Talk to your Big Brother and see if there's a place for you to become involved. Best wishes to you.

Kevin 10-07-2019 07:43 PM

You're stuck. It's GDI or ZBT.

SAEalumnus 10-07-2019 09:02 PM

SAE made the same foolish policy a few years ago, though our window is 96 hours. Half the point of a pledgeship is to evaluate mutual fit (the other half being to learn about the organization you're joining and how not to run it into the ground when it becomes your turn to lead). A pledge can withdraw or be rescinded and still have options, but once initiated, you're done, there's no going back. A national office forcing chapters to fully initiate someone they barely know is a disservice and sets both chapter and member up for failure. I'm sorry this happened to you, but there is zero chance of you joining another fraternity at this point.

33girl 10-07-2019 09:13 PM

How have these pledge weekends worked out for the groups that do them? Do they really cut down on hazing? Whatís retention like? I can see them not being awful at a deferred rush school (especially some of the schools that defer till sophomore year) but for first semester freshmen it sounds like a hot mess.

chi-o_cat 10-08-2019 09:47 AM

Maybe stick it out for the rest of the semester before deciding it’s not for you. If it’s a big chapter, there are probably guys you have hardly gotten a chance to get to know yet. Even if it’s not a big chapter, you have kind of been in a whirlwind of rushing/pledging/initiation, so now that things have settled back into the everyday routine, you might start feeling more at home. Go to events, hang out at the house (or wherever the brothers spend their time), give them a chance before you make a decision that you can't take back. Good luck!

LaneSig 10-08-2019 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Henrysmith (Post 2470406)
I accepted a bid for zbt, and our pledge class got initiated to the fraternity in 72 hours. After being here for a week, I donít see myself fitting in with these guys. I want to drop the fraternity and rush for another fraternity next semester, but I heard that I canít join another fraternity once you are initiated. If this is true, can they cutt me and be able to join another fraternity?

Serious question: What was it about the chapter that interested you in the first place? What did you like about them?

PersistentDST 10-08-2019 01:51 PM

That’s rough! I hope that you stick it out and try to find brothers and activities that will make it a brotherhood for you!

Not to hijack this thread, but I’m curious about the rationale of a such an abbreviated process. Is the primary purpose to avoid hazing? I just can’t imagine learning that much history, information about chapter protocol or cultivating brotherhood/sisterhood in such a short time.

andthen 10-08-2019 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PersistentDST (Post 2470435)
Thatís rough! I hope that you stick it out and try to find brothers and activities that will make it a brotherhood for you!

Not to hijack this thread, but Iím curious about the rationale of a such an abbreviated process. Is the primary purpose to avoid hazing? I just canít imagine learning that much history, information about chapter protocol or cultivating brotherhood/sisterhood in such a short time.

I was wondering that as well. I mean I could understand perhaps to avoid hazing, but as you noted it just seems like such a quick turn around time.

Henrysmith 10-08-2019 02:17 PM

I went to the initiation at the house, but have not completed all the forms for the initiation process. Is there a possibility I could join another fraternity with this being said?

Henrysmith 10-08-2019 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navane (Post 2470411)
Henry,

It seems like not being able to have a full chance to check the fit with a fraternity is one of the downsides to the 72-hour pledge program. I can understand your position. However, to be honest, you've only given it a week or two. That's not really enough time to truly settle in to your fraternity. Since you're a brother now, you might as well stick with it for a bit and see if things improve. Maybe give it to the end of the semester at least? Like Titchou said, you "can" resign your membership at any time; but, joining another fraternity is not likely to be an option for you. Even if your current fraternity headquarters is willing to 100% release you from your vows, another campus fraternity is not likely to bid you. Stick with it ok? Talk to your Big Brother and see if there's a place for you to become involved. Best wishes to you.

I went to the initiation at the house, but have not completed all the forms for the initiation process. Is there a possibility I can join another fraternity with this being said?

carnation 10-08-2019 02:46 PM

...whined the adult with the horrible fake username.

carnation 10-08-2019 03:37 PM

...and it's probably that woman who was whining about how females should get a chance to pledge a second group after they've been initiated into one.

Cue the fake usernames agreeing with "them".

anongreek 10-08-2019 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2470439)
...whined the adult with the horrible fake username.

Rolling at this comment.

& HenrySmith - 72 hours seems like a really short pledge time. However, at the same time, like some of the others above have mentioned....what originally drew you to this group that made you want to initiate? Have you tried talking to any of your fellow brothers, or your chapter president about how you feel? A lot of the times they expect these feelings, and know how to help. Some feelings of "not belonging" are normal. But you should reach out to someone and let them know how you are feeling, and maybe they can help you find your place and get more involved. There are plenty of threads with the usual "I initiated into this sorority/ fraternity and now I don't think it is for me" posts. And pretty much all of the replies are the same so I will do my best to sum them up.

1) Have you truly given your GLO a chance?
2) Have you made any diligent efforts to TRY and fit in and make it work?
3) A week is not nearly a long enough time to decide whether or not a organization is something you want to be a part of. I mean a week isn't even long enough to make solid friendships, or really even get to know the organization at all. It seems you would be doing yourself and the org you chose to be a part of a massive disservice by dropping before you even give it a proper chance. Give yourself some more time...because your choice to leave would be a pretty weighty one.
4) It truly is not your brothers' job to make you feel like you belong in the org. They convinced you to pledge to their fraternity. That was their part. What happens from here is kind of up to you. It's super easy to say that your org isn't making you feel included, but then again, what are you doing to BE included? Get involved. Run for a position. Give it AT LEAST a full semester, if not more.
5) your brothers cannot help you with something they know nothing about. So, try talking to someone before making any rash decisions.
6) The rule is the same, and has always been the same. They are not going to change it anytime soon, and truthfully they probably never will. So, whether or not it seems unfair or unjust to you, well, it is here to stay.


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