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-   -   Are some people just not meant to be in sororities? (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=129193)

Wishful 09-03-2012 12:14 PM

Are some people just not meant to be in sororities?
 
I am currently going through recruitment now. The second day has already passed (I have 2 more days to survive) and I only have 3 houses left. I'm deathly afraid that I'm going to get released. I want to post my whole story, but I'll wait until next week when recruitment is officially over.

Basically I went through recruitment last year. Got released, so I decided to do it again this year. But knowing that I can he released again just makes me think...maybe I'm not supposed to be in a sorority.

Does anyone have any advice or input?

33girl 09-03-2012 12:27 PM

The answer to your question is...yes.

Some people have a great time at sororities at a big school with a big Greek system, but would have been MISERABLE at a smaller school with a smaller Greek system. Or vice versa. (And no, the solution is not to transfer...the solution is just to realize that your school isn't 100% perfect because the Greek life there isn't for you, and get involved in other activities.)

Some people can't deal with the rules and expectations that are there in even the most laid back of chapters.

Some people have difficulty with time management, to the point that their sorority membership is a drain on their college career.

Some people just don't want to be around that many girls, that much of the time.

I don't know if any of these apply to you, but if venting out fear here helps you get through rush, go ahead and continue to do so. :)

DubaiSis 09-03-2012 12:41 PM

I'm sorry rush isn't going well for you. Yes, some people aren't meant to be in sororities. If it doesn't work out for you, it's time to start finding where you DO fit. Sorority life was fantastic for me in college, but it is not the only way to have fun, learn leadership skills, do philanthropic works, make lifelong connections, or drink beer.

Try not to worry about it so much. Your panicked state is probably not helping your composure.

adpiucf 09-03-2012 03:16 PM

Do the best you can. That's my only advice. It will either work out or it won't. But you should have a contingency plan in place for ways to get involved on campus and make friends should recruitment not go as you have planned. I'm sorry this has been so stressful! You might also consider informal recruitment-- it may be less intense that formal if this formal recruitment doesn't work out.

Wishful 09-03-2012 03:16 PM

Greek life isn't huge at my school. I go go mostly a commuter school. I don't have the luxury of just going home so I wanted to find my home away from home. I don't think I can handle being released from recruitment AGAIN. Ever since I was little, I've wanted sisters, but it's looking like my wish will never come true

Wishful 09-03-2012 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpiucf (Post 2174985)
Do the best you can. That's my only advice. It will either work out or it won't. But you should have a contingency plan in place for ways to get involved on campus and make friends should recruitment not go as you have planned. I'm sorry this has been so stressful! You might also consider informal recruitment-- it may be less intense that formal if this formal recruitment doesn't work out.

I did informal recruitment last year too. Only a handful of sororities were doing it and they had like only 7ish spots open. I didn't take it personally that I didn't get in then

Wishful 09-03-2012 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2174924)
The answer to your question is...yes.

Some people have a great time at sororities at a big school with a big Greek system, but would have been MISERABLE at a smaller school with a smaller Greek system. Or vice versa. (And no, the solution is not to transfer...the solution is just to realize that your school isn't 100% perfect because the Greek life there isn't for you, and get involved in other activities.)

Some people can't deal with the rules and expectations that are there in even the most laid back of chapters.

Some people have difficulty with time management, to the point that their sorority membership is a drain on their college career.

Some people just don't want to be around that many girls, that much of the time.

I don't know if any of these apply to you, but if venting out fear here helps you get through rush, go ahead and continue to do so. :)

None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?

Hartofsec 09-03-2012 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wishful (Post 2175064)
None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?


I hope you do share your recruitment story -- while wishing you success in this one. You still have parties to attend -- hoping for a happy ending!

Good luck! :)

DeltaBetaBaby 09-03-2012 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wishful (Post 2175064)
None of those really apply to me... At least most of those girls can get into a sorority. I can't...but yes I just need to vent. I wish I could share my whole story with everyone (recruitment this year and last)! Maybe after when recruitment is over?

1) We would love to hear your story once recruitment is over, provided you can tell it in a manner that will not lead to hurt feelings.

2) Some women are not successful in recruitment. We've talked about tons of reasons why around here. However, none of us know YOU. If you are unsuccessful this time around, you would be wise to ask a trusted friend if there is some real reason you are having this much trouble. There could be something about how you are presenting yourself that is causing problems for you, and if this is the case, you should find out now, because it will continue to affect you in job hunts and stuff like that.

Wishful 09-03-2012 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hartofsec (Post 2175070)
I hope you do share your recruitment story -- while wishing you success in this one. You still have parties to attend -- hoping for a happy ending!

Good luck! :)

Thanks you! Even if I don't have a happy ending, I would love to share BOTH stories so maybe I could get some insight.

Wishful 09-03-2012 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2175079)
1) We would love to hear your story once recruitment is over, provided you can tell it in a manner that will not lead to hurt feelings.

2) Some women are not successful in recruitment. We've talked about tons of reasons why around here. However, none of us know YOU. If you are unsuccessful this time around, you would be wise to ask a trusted friend if there is some real reason you are having this much trouble. There could be something about how you are presenting yourself that is causing problems for you, and if this is the case, you should find out now, because it will continue to affect you in job hunts and stuff like that.

Thank you! Yeah I realize you guys can't really tell me what I'm doing wrong. Maybe if you read my story next week, you'll have some insight. I honestly don't know how I'm presenting myself "wrongly" to others. Personally, I just think that there are other girls better or more suited for the chapter than me. I know that they can't take everyone. I just happen to be last on everyone's list I guess. And unless I'm on the other side of the process, I won't know exactly how it works out. It is tough to make it to that side lol.

WhiteDaisy128 09-03-2012 07:15 PM

Even if you just have a few houses left...remember, it just takes one! Good luck! :)

Wishful 09-03-2012 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteDaisy128 (Post 2175097)
Even if you just have a few houses left...remember, it just takes one! Good luck! :)

Thanks for your kind words! Fingers crossed that I can make it through the last few days of recruitment.

summer_gphib 09-03-2012 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhiteDaisy128 (Post 2175097)
Even if you just have a few houses left...remember, it just takes one! Good luck! :)

THIS!!!^^^^^^

I wish you the best of luck. Don't give up on the process. Maybe you aren't meant to be in a sorority, but at least you are TRYING. Unfortunately great girls fall through the cracks. It's NOT a perfect system... but we wish you the best, and truly hope you find a home! If not, try other clubs and organizations!

DubaiSis 09-03-2012 07:20 PM

First, we're not the best choice for helping you get clarity. Ask your rho chi or a good and painfully honest friend. How are you at gauging social cues? Do you make people uncomfortable when you're trying to be funny? Do you dress obnoxiously when you think you're being different? Do you have bad breath? These are the kinds of things that can REALLY affect your rush and you might just not be seeing it. None of these may be true, but probably there's something about yourself that you're just not willing to face just yet.

Secondly, nobody said you were last on anyone's list. Who knows? A chapter may have been able to invite back 100 girls and you were #101. or #600. We just don't know and that's why we all advise you to try not to obsess about it too much. I know, I know. Easier said than done.


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