Random Wedding Thread
 

Random things related to Weddings, whether if you're a bride, bridesmaid, horrified spectator, relative, or just like KSUViolet06's stories!

I went to a bridal fair last weekend and there were all kinds of tables set up, the most horrifying was the Arbonne table. I also had some good laughs with a friend over books of invitations, particularly the Disney Cinderella and Precious Moments ones.

If I ever received a Disney-themed or god forbid a Precious Moments-themed wedding invitation, I would not go on principle. I'm not sure I'd even send a gift.

Haha why was the Arbonne table was horrifying?

My friend killed me, she was judging the sample menus with the invitations "I wouldn't go to the reception with these food options, GROSS!" There was also a book FULL of invitations that incorporated pictures of the couple, but the most horrific to me was the envelope option. On the inside flap was a GIANT picture of the couple, and another had a tile effect of the happy couple.

I've never seen Arboone as anything but a Pyramid scheme and I can understand a makeup artist for the wedding, but not buying into the sales pitch for a job. For my sister OTW: Reach the Arbonne!

I've been approached many times by friends and acquaintances trying to get me to buy their Arbonne crap. I also find myself proclaiming "REACH THE ARBONNE!" while raising a clamped fist. They usually leave me alone after that because they think I'm crazy.

At least it works.

Okay, what the hell is an Arbonne?

Reach the Arbonne? That just sounds silly. That does seem out of place if they were wanting ladies to become consultants at a bridal show.

http://www.joelcomm.com/to_arbonne_o...o_arbonne.html

It's like Amway (multi-level marketing scam), but with health and beauty products that cost a shitload of money.

If that sounds silly to you, you probably weren't there. :)

wait, you're referring to your twin as in you have the same big one right? because if that's the case then that's just sad. they should NOT have their weddings this close to one another. and honestly, if one of my littles was ever blessed to get married right behind me i'd be so busy being happy for them and helping them out i don't think i'd remember half of what i would need to be doing. i could never fight with my littles for attention like that, but then again i don't think we'd ever schedule our weddings like that if we could help it.

Those girls trying to outdo each other with their weddings reminds me of an episode of "My Super Sweet 16" where the girls have to all outdo each other in the same Florida town.

Speaking of bad reality tv, does anyone else watch "My Big Redneck Wedding" on CMT? It is hosted by Tom Arnold and it is so gloriously wrong that I just can't look away. I'm not sure what the absolute best moment was as each episode is priceless in its own little way.

I'm with Baby on this - I couldn't imagine trying to one-up either of my littles, they really are like my little sisters, not just friends. The Big is supposed to be there for them and support them, not act like the middle child and get jealous about everything! Ugh!

Changing subject briefly - I'm trying to work out my budget and could use some help with the reception. I have no idea how much we should realistically budget for food/alcohol. We would like to have a cocktail hour with light hors d'oeuvres and open bar, then scale back the bar during the buffet meal to beer/wine/champagne/signature cocktails (one for the ladies, one for the men) and it's taking place in Athens, GA. Any suggestions??? And BTW, father of the groom brews his own beer and wine so we will have only a couple of limited selections of each. Is it more cost-effective to purchase our own and pay corkage fees...?

And is budgeting $100 for hair and makeup for me reasonable?

Is it worth it to get a wedding planner?

I have a lot of questions :( I've never been in a wedding before so I have absolutely NO experience!

BTW, love this thread.

SthrnZeta,
To answer your questions, one thing that helped FI and I out a lot when budgeting was using theknot.com's one. You input guest count and total budget and they help break things down for you. We took that, put it into an excel sheet and adjusted as necessary. Excel also helps us look at overall cost, then couple costs, then parental costs, etc.

As for alcohol, a lot will depend on the venue if they let you bring it in. I'm not sure I would want the stress of that, but it does usually cost less. And if you want just signature stuff for the reception, I would do it for the whole thing so guests don't get confused.

As for hair and makeup I think it really depends on location. I would look online at local salons/spas to see what their packages are. Also it depends if you want someone to come on-site, airbrushed makeup, etc.

It might be worth it to have a Day of Coordinator (DOC). A sister of mine is an event planner, so she is helping me as my DOC as a friend and I am super thankful.

I know the knot has a lot of crazies on it, but my local board and my wedding month board have been really helpful.

Hope this helped a bit!

I do have some stuff set up on the Knot, so that's some really good advice. One of the doctors I work with, an AOPi, got married where we plan to and told me that the event coordinator for the venue should handle logistics for the day and that I don't really need a wedding planner. But I like the idea of someone else setting up meetings with vendors and her talking to them for me throughout the process.

As far as the alcohol, I get what you're saying about confusing people, but the bar area is in a separate room that you can close off and but then I guess we'd need more servers to serve drinks if we shut down the bar... definitely something to think about (and I hear alcohol is a major money-suck!).

And what's the deal with all the pieces in the invitation? Do you really need a separate one for the reception - can't you just say reception to follow since the reception site is on the same property as the chapel? Just seems silly to me... We would like people to RSVP on our wedding site but we know some may prefer to mail in a card so we'll include that also. Just seems like invitations are unncecessarily expensive, and then you throw in the Save the Date magnets we want and it's approaching $4-500!! And that doesn't include programs and napkins and any other stationary items! I mean, is $20,000 a realistic budget for a wedding of approx 100 people?

THankfully my caterer doesn't charge a corkage fee just a flat liquor liability fee- and our reception location allows us to bring our own alcohol in. If you go to most large liquor retailers and tell them how many people you are having and what types of drinkers they are they most likely can give you a good estimate of how much of what you need. I am using Liquor Barn (a chain) and we are doing it on consignment so anything we don't use we can return for credit. Not exactly our money back, but better than a kick in the teeth.

As for wedding budgets- we blew through ours so much quicker than I thought we would. $2k for a good photographer, $8k for the caterer (maybe $9k if everyone comes) then there is the dress, the hair, the veil, flowers, the church, the reception hall, linens, china, silverware, glasses, decorations, DJ/Band..... etc. etc. etc. It seems like it never ends! And everytime you turn around it is another deposit or $1k so annoying!

Good luck! Thankfully I am in the home stretch. We are ordering the invitations this weekend and all that is left is to go rent the chair covers (our location has hideous chairs!).

Invitation-You can do what you want. If you can have a simple regular invite, you can just put "reception immediately following" on the bottom. Then just insert a standard response card and envelope. I know that pocketfolds are popular right now, but they are not a must. I know that we have a good portion of guests that are out of town (OOT), so we are doing pocketfolds to include all information. If you have a website, this may also work, but don't forget your non-tech guests.

I would look into Vistaprint.com for your save-the-date magnets. I designed ours myself in Adobe and had them printed (I'm lucky to have some design knowledge though). Sign up for their coupons and you can get the magnets free or really discounted. It was like $30 for 100 I think. I am also going to order thank you cards from them as well with our monogram on them that I designed too.

Yes, your budget is realistic for 100 guests. There are ways to cut costs so you can spend in others. I don't know how crafty you are, but there are a lot of things you can do yourself, like invitations, programs, etc. Plus there are things people "think" they need and they don't. Programs and favors are big ones. I'd rather not have a program than a xerox copy of the ceremony thanks! Check ebay for a lot of things, especially the napkins. A lot of vendors are highly recommended.

It can be very overwhelming, but thankfully you have time. Just work on the big tickets items first to get those booked and then look down the checklist.

I think you can skip the Save the Date magnets. These are a pretty new thing and you know what happens to them when I get them?? Circular file (trash). Last thing I need is more magnets. Send me a Save the Date email. I'll put it in my planner. This whole Save the Date thing is really new and, to me, really annoying. It puts my Aunt Nina out of a job! She was the one who told everything "So and so is getting married on this day so don't plan Susie's graduation party that day!"

You know Disney makes wedding dresses now...right? ;) You know you want one!

http://www.disneybridal.com/

When I saw all the names I thought they were going to be totally costumey (especially "Disney Jasmine", I was picturing some sort of crop top genie outfit.) So in comparison the actual dresses were not so bad. haha But I still would never buy one or be able to keep a straight face if someone told me they bought a Disney wedding dress.

Honestly, the Disney bridal gowns themselves could be worse, given the source, but I was pretty horrified by some of the bridesmaid dresses. These in particular:

http://www.disneybridal.com/fall2008...es/kma2850.jpg

http://www.disneybridal.com/spring20...mages/kka1.jpg

http://www.disneybridal.com/fall2008...es/kmc2830.jpg

http://www.disneybridal.com/fall2008...es/kmb2835.jpg

Ha Ha! That would require people to have common sense and decency... sadly, not too common in the bridal world.

KSU- you are an absolute saint to put up with such madness!

I was picturing that too. Honestly, Belle, Ariel, and Jasmine are pretty normal looking. I think the bridesmaids dresses are hideous though,

You could get something from an actual bridal designer for less money though, that doesn't have Disney on the label.

ksu - some advice for your big...take it or leave it.

1.) she needs to stop worrying about what her little is doing and focus on herself. she can have a beautiful wedding without spending as much....sometimes you just have to decide what to spend more on and what to skimp on a little.

2.) New England's way of life is COMPLETELY different than Ohio's. No wonder your twin is getting married in a castle. Good luck to your big if her standards are that high. Tell her to consider a nice reception hall and if it is too much on a Saturday, have her check on a Friday night (unless for some reason the date is significant or already strictly set). We saved almost $2000 by having our wedding on a Friday night which allowed us to spend more money on a fabulous photographer!! Also....Friday nights usually come with the bar, food, etc. No extra fees per person for that stuff!

3.) Find someone who makes cakes on the side. Much cheaper but usually just as wonderful!

4.) She can also do her own invitations if she wants to watch her budget. There is a paper place in Brunswick called Hollo's PaperCraft. She can get the paper cut the size she needs it and it costs by the pound. We got all the paper for invitations, place cards, programs, response and reception cards, as well as envelopes for less than $80. Also....if she knows someone who is great with computers, she can enlist them to print them (someone with access to a laser printer to make them look nicer).

5.) Get flowers from a wholesaler instead of a shop. Once again much cheaper and just as nice. Again....enlist someone to help put together bouquets, table arrangements, etc.



It breaks my heart to hear that she wants to compete with her little. She needs to understand that it is her day and it is what SHE makes of it, not what others compare it to. I hope this advice helps and if she's getting married locally (Akron/Canton area), I could help possibly a little more from the research I did about a year ago.

Good luck to all of you!!!

That show is awesome, it is only half an hour but it is outrageous. Mud 'rassling in your wedding dress in a kiddie pool is always a great wedding event. Or the couple who brought hunting trophies to decorate the wedding site, or perhaps the couple who got married in a flea market might pique your interest? I DVRd it and VandalShyster and I watched it when we had snow days. I don't know who is programming on CMT, but between that show and "Gone Country" with Sisqo and Bobby Brown competing with Carnie Wilson and Marsha Brady for a country recording contract I am suddenly a HUGE fan of CMT.

If and when I get hitched I am going to tell my matron and maids that I am selecting dresses from that website just to freak them out.

L. O. L. If I weren't already hitched, I'd do the exact same thing. :D

I kinda agree about not needing a magnet. I have limited real estate on my fridge anyway. One of my best friends/sorority sisters is getting married in late April. They just got engaged around Christmastime. No, she's not pregnant (everyone asks that). They sent "Save the Date" evites this past weekend.

co-sign this.

I had a big southern wedding, but looked at many ways to have a classy day without spending stupid money. I bought all the flowers- bouquets, centerpieces, and large arrangements for the church- at an upscale grocery store (Central Market for those of you in TX). The cost was literally only 40% of what I would have paid at a flower shop.

The store did all the arrangements for me. The only caveat was that they would not deliver, but two friends of mine offered to pick them up for me and one delivered the church flowers and the other delivered the reception flowers.

The flowers were gorgeous... and no one could tell the difference. I got compliments on my bouquet all day. I proudly told people where I had bought the flowers, and everyone was so impressed with not only the quality but my wisdom in saving so much money.

Isn't that near Cleveland's Museum of Art? Has she thought of having her wedding there? Can't get much classier, and the cost of the museums I checked out was in line with any other place. And, very different!

Okay, I think anyone who buys a Disney Wedding Dress must wear those Minnie Mouse Ears with a Veil with it!

http://laughingplace.com/files/SSAd/3455S.jpg

We're having our Convention at Disney World next year, and I'm going soley to get Minnie Mouse ears with an azure blue bow.

Or even a save the date sticker for people who still use paper calendars or planners. You can get them printed with whatever you want, the cost would be less, and they might not get tossed.

See I'm having kinda an opposite problem.... my budget is slightly larger than my friends' who have gotten married recently, and I feel like they think I'm "crazy" for spending what I am, or like trying to "one up them" when really my fiancee and I are just very lucky to have both of our parents contributing, and have a connection at our venue.

You've put that so sweetly, I don't think anyone but the most pitifully jealous person would have a problem with what you have. I surely wouldn't!

I'm sort of wedding challenged. I lost my girl card somewhere about 3rd grade and never re-applied for membership. I really just don't have it in me to do the "best" and the "biggest". It's not us. When we were venue shopping, I got hives going into country clubs, like they looked at me as if I should be the maid. F that noise, my money's just as green as the next. Finally found a place that's close, affordable, fun, and thankfully non-fussy.

The "big stuff" we took care of this summer before I left for Scotland. Church, Pre-Marriage classes per the church, venue, caterer, florist (friend of FH's and literally next door to the church, and the most reasonable in the area...complete score!), cake, dress, BM's and their dresses, decided on groom/groomsmens wear (well...kinda. They're all wearing black suits for the "wearable after wedding/not wearing someone else's trousers to get married" factor. I'm still trying to drop hints to get him in a kilt, but I don't think it will happen. Ah well, there's always Burns Night), we're building our Ipod playlist (complete and utter control of the music...muwahaha! Nice big band stuff for dinner, and fun/funky stuff for after), and our photographer is working for food/accommodations and the right to use our images for promotion (heck yea!).

The boy and I are still trying to decide on invitations. We've seen a bunch that we like, but the thing is, between the two of us we've got enough desktop publishing experience to create an empire. So I think we may be stealing a concept, using his web developer skillz/passwords for images/illustrations, and designing them ourselves and printing them through vistaprint.com. $500 for paper?! are ye kidding me? I could understand if it was your Doctoral diploma (maybe) but for Pete's sake, it's an invitation that most people throw in the bin the minute they get back from the reception. Nope. Not doing it.

I dunno, I look at Platinum Weddings and that other show, what's it called, on Style? and I think to myself, "christ, they're spending the GDP of a small nation on this wedding!"

OK I'll jump on the wedding bandwagon today. Last weekend in our paper it listed a couple who got married and the announcement said something like "they went on a mini-moon to Mexico". WTH??? Mexico doesn't qualify as a real honeymoon now? It's not "good enough"? I just thought that was a bit much.

Weddings are too "over the top" lately and I love it when people who aren't fresh outta college request "in lieu of gifts please bring a donation for xxx or a wrapped gift for spouse abuse shelter, etc."
When I see the Celebrity Weddings or Rich Bride shows I want to barf. One girls dad spent over 2 million and IMO she would have better served society if she had a $1M wedding and gave $1M for the poor Southern counties who have no tornado sirens etc.

Phoenix, I want your photographer!!!!

And what's the consensus on IPODing it vs having a DJ vs a live band...?

You missed my favorite:
http://www.disneybridal.com/spring20...ess=cinderella & click on Style KKC3. For some reason I'm technologically slow today.

I don't get what this 1) has to do with Cinderella and 2) how it escaped from 1989. I know the 80s are "back," but this is truly heinous.

We're very very lucky to have him, he's been a huge blessing. He made a very generous offer to do this to begin his career as a wedding photographer. He's previously worked in corporate photography, so he knows his way around a camera, and he's got a particular interest in doing Catholic weddings. I'll let you know how it turns out!

I'd love to have a live band, particularly, I'd love to have a ceilidh band (for traditional Scottish dancing...think square dance but with kilts and more fun) or a band that FH and I have gone to see a lot, called Corn Beef and Curry (traditional Irish music). We've got a lot of Irish/Scottish stuff mixed in because of our heritage, because we got engaged in Ireland, because I live(d) in Scotland/Ireland. However, both of these options can be quite pricey! We thought about maybe doing the Ipod for dinner on big band stuff (for my grandfather), then after dinner, switching to ceilidh dancing, then back to the Ipod for general boogying down. The problem with ceilidh dancing is that you've got to get people to participate. Thankfully it's almost always instructed by the musicians, like a caller would do, and I think people would be down with the novelty factor.