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-   -   What to tell overconfident PNMs (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=87932)

KDMafia 12-22-2010 12:40 PM

Quote:

I'm trying to figure out how a PNM would broach that with a sorority: "So, you like me? Then take my 4 buddies." I would love to know how that plays out.

I think it's a little bit more obvious from the Rho Gammas point of view but the actives know it's happening. Due to deferred rush we hear a lot about the different "cliques" coming through and which ones are vowing to all join the same one. We did have one girl once say in her pref night that she wanted to be in the same sorority as her roommate. It almost came more out of a sense of concern. He roommate was really shy and she wasn't and I think she knew that her roommate stood a higher chance of getting cut than she did and I don't think she meant it to sound like a demand, just an honest statement. Luckily for her we also liked her roommate but if we didn't I can imagine how that statment might have came across.

aephi alum 12-22-2010 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FleurGirl (Post 2013772)
I feel like that's something the PXs should really emphasize during recruitment -- just because you're in different sororities does not mean you can't be friends anymore!

THIS.

And... ah yes, the package deals. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Funnily enough, my chapter thought I was a package deal with another PNM because we happened to walk in the door at the same time (local sorority, informal recruitment). I had never met the other PNM before that moment. We each got bids and we each got very involved - but I never got along with her, and haven't spoken to her since graduation.

Hey, if Prize Plum PNM wants to turn down an invitation or bid to XYZ sorority because they didn't issue an invite/bid to one or two of her posse, that's Prize Plum PNM's loss. What if a job candidate were to say, "If you want me to come work for you, you also have to hire Tom, Dick, and Harry" when Tom, Dick, and/or Harry aren't qualified? I'd say, "That's nice - don't call us, we'll call you" and file her resume in the cylindrical file.

BAckbOwlsgIrl 12-22-2010 01:23 PM

TWINS

Going along with the package deal, we had twins; Heather and Heidi, going through rush one year. I rushed one of them on the first day. One of the first things she said was how attached to her twin she was, they were roomies, they had done everything together their whole lives and wanted to go to the same house together.

I think that everyone knew they were a package deal, specifically because of the twin issue. It was accepted throughout all the chapters in Rush.
And yes, they did go to the same house, a top tier house. They cut our house.

However, I have heard that some twins have gone to separate houses. I believe that there are a few twins on GC?

Incidentally, we had a twin who was a member of our chapter. Her twin was a member at a school across the country.

The whole twin thing could open up a whole other can of worms.

AZTheta 12-22-2010 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2013818)
I'm trying to figure out how a PNM would broach that with a sorority: "So, you like me? Then take my 4 buddies." I would love to know how that plays out.

Carnation, I am willing to bet that you know exactly what those conversations sounded like ;). Doesn't take much imagination!

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2013818)
That said, there was a girl who rushed at one of my schools and she was truly the "prize plum" of that year. This being a bed rush, the pledge class sizes were very limited and to the shock of many, a relative of the girl (who normally wouldn't have gotten a bid anywhere, it was felt) ended up in the selective pledge class that Prize Plum was in. I wonder if Relative always felt that on campus:"You're only an Alpha Beta because they had to take you to get Plum."

Oh yeah, seen that one. And heard the cruel remarks as well, behind Relative's back.

Points to what we say ad nauseum on this site to every PNM who posts here: "find the place where YOU will be happy/find your home, not someone else's" or a variation on that theme.

Alumiyum 12-22-2010 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAckbOwlsgIrl (Post 2013928)
TWINS

Going along with the package deal, we had twins; Heather and Heidi, going through rush one year. I rushed one of them on the first day. One of the first things she said was how attached to her twin she was, they were roomies, they had done everything together their whole lives and wanted to go to the same house together.

I think that everyone knew they were a package deal, specifically because of the twin issue. It was accepted throughout all the chapters in Rush.
And yes, they did go to the same house, a top tier house. They cut our house.

However, I have heard that some twins have gone to separate houses. I believe that there are a few twins on GC?

Incidentally, we had a twin who was a member of our chapter. Her twin was a member at a school across the country.

The whole twin thing could open up a whole other can of worms.

We actually had one twin whose sister was an ADPi. IIRC they deliberately chose to go to different chapters unless they happened to fall in love with the same one. Ours was a gamma rho one year and because she and her twin were almost identical everyone thought she was an ADPi. So when the gamma rhos did their reveal she faked out the PNMs and ran to her sister at ADPi (they were all in on it)...then to us. The PNMs were shocked.

aephi alum 12-22-2010 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAckbOwlsgIrl (Post 2013928)
TWINS

The whole twin thing could open up a whole other can of worms.

See, there was this thing...

FSUZeta 12-22-2010 08:44 PM

it seems to me that i remember every set of twins who rushed during my collegiate years making an effort to let each of their rush hostesses know that they were individuals and would be making the best decision for her-individually. if they ended up in the same chapter, then "hooray", but it would be by chance, not design. some of them ended up in the same chapter, while other ones found their places in different chapters.

we had one set of twins in my pledge class and one twin in the pledge class above mine. her sister pledged one of our backdoor neighbor sororities. we also had some members who had older sisters in other chapters on campus. as far as i can remember, each one of them let it be known that they would be choosing the chapter that was the best fit for them.

KSUViolet06 12-23-2010 07:37 PM

^^^Same here. Any twins who ever rushed here were the type who didn't want to be thought of as a "package." One set did end up in the same chapter, but they said that it wasn't something they were dead set on from the beginning.

We had plenty of Package Deal Friends. Usually, various members of the Package would discover during the week that they liked different houses and that it was okay for them to be different. They also weren't going to drop out because their friends didn't get what they wanted. Ex: If Suzy loved DG, she wasn't turning down her DG pref invite because Julie and Katie didn't get one.


dukemama 12-23-2010 08:24 PM

When I was a collegian I recall one set of twins pledging the same sorority and a set of identical triplets doing the same thing. However, another set of twins pledged different houses - and the ones they pledged were NOTHING alike.

sceniczip 12-24-2010 10:36 AM

We had a set of twins and we also had one twin and the other one went AGD I think? I could be wrong about that as it was before my time.

Barbie's_Rush 12-24-2010 12:32 PM

I think if twins want to be a package deal, they should just wear matching sequined hose throughout recruitment. That way there would be no awkward questions asked or assumptions made by the sorority women. Is it possible this could be added to the Green Book?

DeltaBetaBaby 12-24-2010 12:58 PM

I know that we had accidental package deals when there were two PNM's with the same name coming through...if nobody could remember who was who, we'd just invite them both back.

AnchorAlum 12-24-2010 03:23 PM

Many of these PNM's bring these attitudes with them because they've been "steered" or brainwashed by someone in the family.

This is especially true if the PNM is attending a large University with a strong Greek population, and the relative was in one of the "big" houses. Truth be told, we know that in these cases, there are often enough legacies to that one house to fill their quota. Not only that, to narrow it down even more, enough legacies to that specific chapter to fill quota.

When I was a Panhellenic sponsorship chairman some years ago, we knew a train wreck would be just around the corner and lots of broken hearts, sometimes more from Mom or Grandma than the PNM herself, who was shocked to find she actually favored the so and so's over Mom's house. PNM would be happy and Mom would be bitter.

Heck, my roommate in college was cut by her Mother's chapter and ended up in another house, where she was very happy. I still remember Mama sitting on the girl's bed on Bid Day (she was a local) wailing about how they could do this to HER, when she had been such an active alum and had "washed" so many punch glasses during rush. Not one bit of happiness for her daughter.

carnation 07-31-2011 08:36 AM

bump for 2011 recruitment!

KSUViolet06 07-30-2013 01:58 PM

This needs a bump. Realistically look at your desirability in the process. You're awesome, but so is everyone else. Keep that in mind!

WestcoastWonder 03-12-2014 03:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1847447)
In terms of PNMs who are overconfident about getting into certain chapters:

If you think you're the best fit for ABC, chances are good that EVERY OTHER PNM in your group thinks the same thing, and logically, everyone cannot be "perfect for ABC."

That's just how things work.

Also, it doesn't matter if Ally ABC who lives on your dorm floor/is in your class/you met at a fraternity house says "you'd soooo be perfect for us" and "you're sooo in."

Chances are good that alot of girls have a friend in ABC who said the SAME thing.



I can't agree with this anymore!!!

DeltaBetaBaby 03-12-2014 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WestcoastWonder (Post 2265202)
I can't agree with this anymore!!!

Typo? Or is "anymore" the new "apart"?

irishpipes 03-12-2014 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2265238)
Typo? Or is "anymore" the new "apart"?

Lol. And there is no word "alot." It is 2 words A LOT.

KDCat 03-12-2014 01:29 PM

Winter recruitment horror story, featuring both arrogant PNMs and a package deal:

During the 2013 fall semester, a group of freshman declared themselves via Facebook to be the hottest freshmen on campus. (They weren't.) They named themselves the "Hot 8" lso declared that they were going to join a sorority together during Winter Recruitment and that it would then become the hottest sorority on campus.

Recruitment did not go well for them. I don't think it was a total failure for all of them, but it certainly wasn't what they wanted it to be.

als463 03-12-2014 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDCat (Post 2265260)
Winter recruitment horror story, featuring both arrogant PNMs and a package deal:

During the 2013 fall semester, a group of freshman declared themselves via Facebook to be the hottest freshmen on campus. (They weren't.) They named themselves the "Hot 8." They also declared that they were going to join a sorority together during Winter Recruitment and that it would then become the hottest sorority on campus.

Recruitment did not go well for them. I don't think it was a total failure for all of them, but it certainly wasn't what they wanted it to be.

This is gross. When did modesty go out the window? What woman seriously calls herself the hottest freshman on campus? What school was this? Did they get bids to any sorority?

KDCat 03-12-2014 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463 (Post 2265280)
This is gross. When did modesty go out the window? What woman seriously calls herself the hottest freshman on campus? What school was this? Did they get bids to any sorority?

Cuts were pretty heavy for them when the invitational rounds started. That's about all I can say.

happilyanchored 03-12-2014 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by als463 (Post 2265280)
This is gross. When did modesty go out the window? What woman seriously calls herself the hottest freshman on campus? What school was this? Did they get bids to any sorority?

It was the "Hot 12" and this was my campus. I'll "ditto" everything KDCat said.

KDCat 03-12-2014 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happilyanchored (Post 2265285)
It was the "Hot 12" and this was my campus. I'll "ditto" everything KDCat said.

Thank you!

I facepalmed so hard when I heard about it.

happilyanchored 03-12-2014 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDCat (Post 2265289)
Thank you!

I facepalmed so hard when I heard about it.

Ditto'ed (sp?) again. For the most part, it seems like what started as a private joke became public one night due to an intoxicated "member" and got out of hand. Most of them have yet to live it down.

To my knowledge though, most (?) of them received bids, and many of them joined the same chapter.

It's also so funny to have someone else involved in my campus on this site.....it's interesting to get another perspective on things.

KDCat 03-12-2014 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happilyanchored (Post 2265290)
Ditto'ed (sp?) again. For the most part, it seems like what started as a private joke became public one night due to an intoxicated "member" and got out of hand. Most of them have yet to live it down.

To my knowledge though, most (?) of them received bids, and many of them joined the same chapter.

It's also so funny to have someone else involved in my campus on this site.....it's interesting to get another perspective on things.

WUSTL recruitment is pretty laid back, though, and it was STILL ugly and uncomfortable.

happilyanchored 03-12-2014 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDCat (Post 2265298)
WUSTL recruitment is pretty laid back, though, and it was STILL ugly and uncomfortable.

Oh I would never think of denying that. There are always at least a few girls going through recruitment that everyone knows about, but this year it was a total campus noteriety rather than just gossip. This is what happens when you have winter recruitment people.........I wish PNMs understood that no matter what they believe, stupid things you do first semester can and maybe will come back to bite you in the butt. I've seen it happen now with both friends when I went through recruitment and on the other side and it's not pretty.

ASUADPi 03-12-2014 08:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDCat (Post 2265260)
Winter recruitment horror story, featuring both arrogant PNMs and a package deal:

During the 2013 fall semester, a group of freshman declared themselves via Facebook to be the hottest freshmen on campus. (They weren't.) They named themselves the "Hot 8" lso declared that they were going to join a sorority together during Winter Recruitment and that it would then become the hottest sorority on campus.

Recruitment did not go well for them. I don't think it was a total failure for all of them, but it certainly wasn't what they wanted it to be.

Maybe they were watching too much Sydney White :rolleyes:

WestcoastWonder 03-12-2014 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2265238)
Typo? Or is "anymore" the new "apart"?

Lol woops. I got a little too excited about her post and forgot about the wrath of GC's grammar police. :rolleyes:

SoCalGirl 03-13-2014 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2265238)
Typo? Or is "anymore" the new "apart"?

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishpipes (Post 2265247)
Lol. And there is no word "alot." It is 2 words A LOT.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WestcoastWonder (Post 2265339)
Lol woops. I got a little too excited about her post and forgot about the wrath of GC's grammar police. :rolleyes:

I'm confused. Is "anymore" no longer a word?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anymore

Sciencewoman 03-13-2014 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happilyanchored (Post 2265299)
Oh I would never think of denying that. There are always at least a few girls going through recruitment that everyone knows about, but this year it was a total campus noteriety rather than just gossip. This is what happens when you have winter recruitment people.........I wish PNMs understood that no matter what they believe, stupid things you do first semester can and maybe will come back to bite you in the butt. I've seen it happen now with both friends when I went through recruitment and on the other side and it's not pretty.

This is a very good lesson for winter recruitment.

LAblondeGPhi 03-13-2014 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoCalGirl (Post 2265390)
I'm confused. Is "anymore" no longer a word?

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/anymore

It's still a word - it just wasn't the right word(s) for the sentence.

anymore = in the recent or present period of time

any more = some additional amount

33girl 03-13-2014 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman (Post 2265392)
This is a very good lesson for winter recruitment.

Winter rush is all about Darwinism. It's so nice to have more to go on than a resume and glowing recs from Mummy and friends (none of whom have hung out with her after 8 pm since she was on elementary school).

dekeguy 03-13-2014 02:36 PM

When something like over confidence and arrogance happens don't you want to tell that group that since they are definitely going to get a bid from XYZ they should make sure the actives know that since you can have your pick of any house on campus you must insist that all of your group receive bids or you will decline en masse. Also be sure to explain that you think National rules about drinking and smoking in letters are silly and you are not going to put up with that. As a test of confidence they should all do the walk of shame before bid night and if that conflicts with a rush activity don't worry about it as the chapter will see this as a statement of your coolness.

BraveMaroon 03-13-2014 06:13 PM

One of my colleagues was telling me his daughter will be going to an SEC school with a notoriously tough recruitment. I asked if she was going to rush (as I would have offered to write a rec) and he said, "Yeah, she's going to be an XYZ". :eek:

I warned him that it wasn't that simple, and he explained that his mother was an XYZ, that he has a cousin in the XYZ National HQ, and that his daughter's BFF from HS has a sister who is an XYZ at this school. He said, "She has it locked down."

Well, OK then. I'll just mosey along...

Overconfident parents breed overconfident PNMs.

MysticCat 03-13-2014 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2265428)
One of my colleagues was telling me his daughter will be going to an SEC school with a notoriously tough recruitment. I asked if she was going to rush (as I would have offered to write a rec) and he said, "Yeah, she's going to be an XYZ". :eek:

I warned him that it wasn't that simple, and he explained that his mother was an XYZ, that he has a cousin in the XYZ National HQ, and that his daughter's BFF from HS has a sister who is an XYZ at this school. He said, "She has it locked down."

Well, OK then. I'll just mosey along...

Overconfident parents breed overconfident PNMs.

Please let us know how that one turns out.

AnchorAlumna 03-14-2014 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 2265429)
Please let us know how that one turns out.

I'm "dittoing" this! :p

MaryPoppins 03-14-2014 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2265428)
One of my colleagues was telling me his daughter will be going to an SEC school with a notoriously tough recruitment. I asked if she was going to rush (as I would have offered to write a rec) and he said, "Yeah, she's going to be an XYZ". :eek:

I warned him that it wasn't that simple, and he explained that his mother was an XYZ, that he has a cousin in the XYZ National HQ, and that his daughter's BFF from HS has a sister who is an XYZ at this school. He said, "She has it locked down."

Well, OK then. I'll just mosey along...

Overconfident parents breed overconfident PNMs.

Oh.my.stars . . . be prepared for him to look chagrined around skit night. Might want to prepare that, "lucky to be Greek at all at that school" talk.

carnation 03-14-2014 07:39 AM

I was at a high school recently and overheard a student saying that she would be rushing at Auburn. I said, "Do you have your recommendations in line?" and she replied dismissively, "Oh, no. I'm a legacy to 7 sororities."

OK, chica. You're out-of-state, I bet you're not a true legacy to 7, and there are probably at least 800 drop-dead-gorgeous girls rushing and you are at the other end of that spectrum, I fear. I hope a sorority is looking for a PNM with a high GPA.

FSUZeta 03-14-2014 08:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2265428)
One of my colleagues was telling me his daughter will be going to an SEC school with a notoriously tough recruitment. I asked if she was going to rush (as I would have offered to write a rec) and he said, "Yeah, she's going to be an XYZ". :eek:

I warned him that it wasn't that simple, and he explained that his mother was an XYZ, that he has a cousin in the XYZ National HQ, and that his daughter's BFF from HS has a sister who is an XYZ at this school. He said, "She has it locked down."

Well, OK then. I'll just mosey along...

Overconfident parents breed overconfident PNMs.

About 8 years ago I had this exact same conversation with my son's basketball coach. Almost verbatim. So I was anxious to spy baby sister's name in the published bid list. I have been checking every year since that rush, and guess what? Baby sister's name has not appeared. Baby sister should be about 27 now.

Sciencewoman 03-14-2014 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2265395)
Winter rush is all about Darwinism. It's so nice to have more to go on than a resume and glowing recs from Mummy and friends (none of whom have hung out with her after 8 pm since she was on elementary school).

I want to see a winter PNM add "Total Campus Notoriety" to her resume achievements list.

Along with, "I have this locked down."


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