GreekChat.com Forums

GreekChat.com Forums (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/index.php)
-   Sorority Recruitment (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?f=217)
-   -   What to tell overconfident PNMs (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=87932)

FSUZeta 09-15-2009 08:13 PM

some folks just never learn!

RhoGamma09 09-15-2009 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1847447)
In terms of PNMs who are overconfident about getting into certain chapters:

If you think you're the best fit for ABC, chances are good that EVERY OTHER PNM in your group thinks the same thing, and logically, everyone cannot be "perfect for ABC."

That's just how things work.

Also, it doesn't matter if Ally ABC who lives on your dorm floor/is in your class/you met at a fraternity house says "you'd soooo be perfect for us" and "you're sooo in."

Chances are good that alot of girls have a friend in ABC who said the SAME thing.


Cheers, I agree.

If you are a PNM reading this and you havent gone through your first round of recruitment yet, I urge you to get any idea of "where you think you belong" out of your head. Think about it this way, do you make friends by looking around a room, finding who looks like what you think you should be friends with, then walking over to them and forcing yourself on them? No. You meet people, get to know them, and then decide.

Its not like high school where people become friends with the "cool kids" just to be cool and have "status" too, (and then end up hating each other and being backstabbing brats).

You dont know a sorority until you MEET the chapter.

KSUViolet06 09-15-2009 10:38 PM

I think alot of overconfidence stems from PNMs having been the "big fish" in their HS environments.

Some girls are most popular, valedictorian, etc. and pretty much the Mother Theresa of their senior class. They've gotten everything they wanted, so they figure "why shouldn't recruitment be any different?"

They don't realize that depending on their school, the entire PNM pool is just as much of a High School Mother Theresa as they are. It's a big shock to them because they've never had to compete for anything.

Parents don't help this either. I find that unless Mom is VERY knowledgeable about recruitment (or has friends who are), she likely assumes that things will simply go her daughter's way, and doesn't really prepare her for the possibility of any sort of disappointment or rejection.


AnchorAlumna 09-16-2009 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1847589)
I think alot of overconfidence stems from PNMs having been the "big fish" in their HS environments.

Sooooo true.

I knew nothing about sororities, so my roommate at new student orientation schooled me. "ABC is the best, they're THE sorority to join," she instructed. "XYZ is the worst; nobody wants to join them."

So guess who was my rusher at XYZ when I went through COB? Yep. The orientation roomie. :rolleyes:

carnation 06-28-2010 01:14 PM

..another good one for PNMs..

ellebud 06-28-2010 02:00 PM

One piece of advice: Do NOT listen to your mother if she is telling you that you must join a certain house because if you don't....the heavens will fall down. Be it because they don't have the social standing that the mother deems desirable, or they aren't "cute" enough, or that they will drag you down to their level (socially speaking).

This is one of your first grownup decisions. And as a mother it is hard (from personal experience) to keep your mouth shut. Fashion advice: yes. Listening and proffering advice when asked: yes. Support: yes, yes and yes. Manipulating your son or daughter? No.

Make your decision, be proud of it, own it and hopefully Mom (and Dad) will celebrate with you.

33girl 06-28-2010 02:14 PM

Speaking of mothers: we touched on this in another thread, but the "times have changed" spiel bears repeating. Such as:

Mandy, I know your mom was an XYZ at Huge State U and had no problem getting in even though it was the most popular chapter on campus. However, rush is not run like it was in your mother's day. Rules regarding total and quota - that means, how many members each group can take - are far more strictly enforced. The amount of students in college is also far more than it was in your mother's day. Greek organizations are more popular than they were in your mother's day. Also, there's been a lot of grade inflation and there are lots of girls out there with GPAs as good as or better than yours.

(if pertinent) I know your mother had no problem getting into XYZ at Teeny Private College, but you've seen what a difference there is between TPC and HSU. That means sorority rush will be different as well.

ComradesTrue 06-28-2010 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1948388)
(if pertinent) I know your mother had no problem getting into XYZ at Teeny Private College, but you've seen what a difference there is between TPC and HSU. That means sorority rush will be different as well.

Careful! Some Teeny Private Colleges are quite competitive in their own right! ;)

Just didn't want any PNMs to think that they can sail into the chapter of their dreams just because the school is smaller.

Carry on....

violetpretty 06-28-2010 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud (Post 1948383)
This is one of your first grownup decisions. And as a mother it is hard (from personal experience) to keep your mouth shut. Fashion advice: yes. Listening and proffering advice when asked: yes. Support: yes, yes and yes. Manipulating your son or daughter? No.

If only all of us were lucky enough to have mothers with ellebud's sense of style...:cool:

ellebud 06-28-2010 04:53 PM

I am official embarrassed. But thank you.

Ellebud

ellebud 06-28-2010 05:32 PM

Thank you. But this is hard won restraint.

When my older daughter chose to go to a class (offered once every four year and a night class) instead of recruitment was I upset when she didn't get invites (no matter what Panhellenic said that excused absences wouldn't hurt you) to houses that she never saw, nor they her? Yes, I was upset for her. Did I want to complain? Yes. I knew the head of Panhellenic. I went shopping instead.

Did I want to approach the girl who blackballed my daughter (older again) to my daughter's favorite house because the sister came out of the closet to my daughter during the last round? Yes, I did. Especially when, on graduation day, she shaved her head and came out to her classmates. (We knew exactly what happened in the voting meeting because one of my daughter's best friends was in the house and 3 plus generations of family friendships trump some confidentiality.)

No, I didn't say a thing. Bit my tongue and went to my daughter's party.

Did I want to say to the Reluctant One "You will go through recruitment. You don't have to pledge...just try it." Yes, I did, want to say it. I bought her a Presents dress instead. And look how that turned out.

Does keeping one's mommy (and daddy) mouth shut always work out for the best? No. But disappointment is a part of life. Success that you earn is far greater than what is given or coerced. And you grow from both. And sometimes what mommy thinks is for the best, isn't.

33girl 06-28-2010 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blondie93 (Post 1948421)
Careful! Some Teeny Private Colleges are quite competitive in their own right! ;)

Just didn't want any PNMs to think that they can sail into the chapter of their dreams just because the school is smaller.

Carry on....

I should have given props to Erik Conard and said Street Car College. But I knew a lot of more recent GCers wouldn't get that.

PeppyGPhiB 07-01-2010 08:59 PM

I think this needs to be said:

Before you drop out of recruitment because the "top" chapters released you, consider whether those houses are really for you, or whether they're for the girl you wish you were. Every girl who goes through recruitment I think would like to think of herself as being the prettiest, loveliest, most popular, most intelligent, most likeable girl in the recruitment pool. But chances are higher that she's just perfectly lovely and normal, and somewhere in the middle of the pool. We all know that the "top" chapters are usually based on cuteness factor, and I'm tired of the babied women going through recruitment now dropping out altogether because they couldn't handle being told that they weren't "cute enough" (the way they interpret it) to get into the chapter they wanted. LOOK at the chapters and their members, TALK to them, LISTEN to them, and really think about which chapter you fit in with. Chances are that is where you will be the happiest, and your recruitment will be much more pleasant if you accept who you are.

dgdramadawg 07-01-2010 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB (Post 1949797)
I think this needs to be said:

Before you drop out of recruitment because the "top" chapters released you, consider whether those houses are really for you, or whether they're for the girl you wish you were. Every girl who goes through recruitment I think would like to think of herself as being the prettiest, loveliest, most popular, most intelligent, most likeable girl in the recruitment pool. But chances are higher that she's just perfectly lovely and normal, and somewhere in the middle of the pool. We all know that the "top" chapters are usually based on cuteness factor, and I'm tired of the babied women going through recruitment now dropping out altogether because they couldn't handle being told that they weren't "cute enough" (the way they interpret it) to get into the chapter they wanted. LOOK at the chapters and their members, TALK to them, LISTEN to them, and really think about which chapter you fit in with. Chances are that is where you will be the happiest, and your recruitment will be much more pleasant if you accept who you are.

To add onto what PeppyGPhiB said:

A lot of people who drop out because they were cut by certain chapters do so because of what they have heard about those chapters or about the ones remaining. PNMs, don't choose to leave recruitment just because of some stereotype, positive or negative.

I've seen girls leave recruitment because of the "cuteness factor" of a chapter, as PeppyGPhiB puts it, but also because they heard chapters were "the smart chapter," "the most involved chapter," "the most fun chapter," etc. In any case, girls drop out because of how they see themselves fitting into the stereotypes they've heard about these chapters.

Sadly, I've seen several more girls leave recruitment because of negative stereotypes about the chapters they have left, only to later say that they wish they had given so-and-so or such-and-such a chance. "Oh, dgdramadawg," they lament, "why did I listen when Suzie PNM told me that ABC was the worst on campus? Now that I know them, they are actually kind of cool... but I dropped out of recruitment and now it's too late." (Well, they don't actually say it that way, but you get the idea.)

It's all about getting to know the chapters... it's most likely that they all have cute girls, they all have smart girls, they all have super-involved girls, they all have partiers, etc. We say it over and over again on GC, but you need to keep an open mind. Listen to your heart and your own impressions, not to what others tell you about which chapters are best/worst on your campus.

KSUViolet06 07-31-2010 06:29 PM

Good bump.

PNMs: Yes, you are wonderful, special, smart, cute, whatever.

But so is every other PNM recruitment.

Sure, you think you're a "for sure in" at XYZ chapter.

So does everyone else.

Alumiyum 07-31-2010 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1961388)
Good bump.

PNMs: Yes, you are wonderful, special, smart, cute, whatever.

But so is every other PNM recruitment.

Sure, you think you're a "for sure in" at XYZ chapter.

So does everyone else.

YES.

PNM: You are not "too good" for a chapter. There was nothing more unattractive to me as a recruitment counselor than girls coming to get their invites for Theme or Pref, looking disgusted, and leaving. Or even having the balls to say "I would never, ever run there on Bid Day, how embarrassing". We WILL relay this to our sisters, and if it gets back to the chapter you think you ARE good enough for, you very well might get cut for being such a royal pain. It shows you are both selfish and rude. (I have seen this happen several times, yes. And the reason for cutting was the obnoxious attitude, specifically. Even when the girl was pretty, had good grades, and dressed well.) Sororities are fun and they are helpful in so many ways but they also come with drama, and a lot of responsibility and time commitment. This is true of every chapter, regardless. If you're joining for boys or to boost your social stock you probably aren't going to find the time you spend in chapter and at required events worth it, and you might get sick of people telling you how to behave when you accidentally get out of control at a fraternity party (and they will). Join to get the full experience...and if that's why you're joining, you will be able to keep an open mind.

33girl 07-31-2010 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 1961459)
Or even having the balls to say "I would never, ever run there on Bid Day, how embarrassing".

Sorry, but this made a tangent pop into my head. I know at some schools when you accept your bid, it's basically in front of the whole Greek community - running to the group, announcements and the like. I wonder if this sometimes doesn't deter women who MIGHT have given a lower-tier chapter a chance if instead of such a public display, that maybe sorority members came to individual girls' doors and gave them their bids?

I mean, some people are not going to be happy no matter how bids are given, but the thought of 1) publicly embracing a chapter you're not sure how you feel about yet and 2) having to keep a stiff upper lip when you see girls running to the chapter you had your heart set on would have been enough to freak me out. A more discreet type of celebration - or a presentation after initiation when the women are actually members - just sounds better to me.

KSUViolet06 07-31-2010 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1961469)
Sorry, but this made a tangent pop into my head. I know at some schools when you accept your bid, it's basically in front of the whole Greek community - running to the group, announcements and the like. I wonder if this sometimes doesn't deter women who MIGHT have given a lower-tier chapter a chance if instead of such a public display, that maybe sorority members came to individual girls' doors and gave them their bids?

I mean, some people are not going to be happy no matter how bids are given, but the thought of 1) publicly embracing a chapter you're not sure how you feel about yet and 2) having to keep a stiff upper lip when you see girls running to the chapter you had your heart set on would have been enough to freak me out. A more discreet type of celebration - or a presentation after initiation when the women are actually members - just sounds better to me.

I know that at my school, we do this (you are announced, then you run).

BUT

Before that happens, you line up and go into the Greek Life Office individually to get your bid. You are free to accept or decline, and if you accept, THEN you go line up to run out.

If you decline, you leave.

So if you're running out, it's because you decided to give it a shot.

I think the running out part is good and bad.

I've heard some girls say that they were iffy UNTIL they ran out and saw people yelling for them and holding up signs for them.

Others were not so thrilled because they had to watch other girls run to their top choice.


SWTXBelle 07-31-2010 09:23 PM

You can always tell an overconfident PNM . . . but you can't tell her much.

Titchou 07-31-2010 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle (Post 1961477)
You can always tell an overconfident PNM . . . but you can't tell her much.

Amen!

Alumiyum 07-31-2010 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1961469)
Sorry, but this made a tangent pop into my head. I know at some schools when you accept your bid, it's basically in front of the whole Greek community - running to the group, announcements and the like. I wonder if this sometimes doesn't deter women who MIGHT have given a lower-tier chapter a chance if instead of such a public display, that maybe sorority members came to individual girls' doors and gave them their bids?

I mean, some people are not going to be happy no matter how bids are given, but the thought of 1) publicly embracing a chapter you're not sure how you feel about yet and 2) having to keep a stiff upper lip when you see girls running to the chapter you had your heart set on would have been enough to freak me out. A more discreet type of celebration - or a presentation after initiation when the women are actually members - just sounds better to me.

Well...yes and no. MOST of the PNM's have said that they felt better about their second choice when they ran with the rest of their new pledge class and got hugged and told how great they were. Yes, there are some that don't want to run and aren't happy about it, but the majority have reported the excitement helped.

On our campus the sororities line up in front of the building the new members run from and cheer and hold signs and whatever goodies they're giving the new girls. The girls sit through the Recruitment Counselor reveal, then they open their envelopes and run. There are always one or two that open them and look crushed, and I do feel sorry for them. I suicided my sorority, so when I was on the steps I already knew I had a bid to my top choice, so I can't act like I know what it's like to have to sit there and wait when you don't know. I'm sure it's beyond nerve wracking. But that's when the excitement comes in and helps. (PNM's have been given questionnaires in previous years that they answer anonymously and most were enthusiastic about running, even if they indicated they didn't get their top choice). My chapter (and I'm sure most of the others) gets a few every year that did not put us first, and many admit it later and say that once they saw how excited we were to have them, they were won over.

Because most of the girls rushing are freshmen and most are located within two dorms...and because we have sorority halls, not houses, on our particular campus it might not be any better to individually come to the girls' rooms. Those who didn't get bids still see the actives coming to get the new members and hear the celebrations on the halls...and can still see their roomate or the girl down the hall being taken to the hall THEY wanted to move to. At least in the excitement of everyone running together those that are less than thrilled can easily hide it in the confusion.

ellebud 08-01-2010 12:12 AM

At my daughter's school the pnms go to their rush counselor and get their bid cards individually. Then they run to their houses. Obviously I wasn't there when my DD received her bid. But, as I wrote in her story, I could hear other girls screaming when my daughter went to get her bid.

Yes, she called me. All I heard was screaming....something something DG!!!!! But here's my take: Some people wanted you. And how wonderfully your world can change. But you have to be willing to take that first step. If you think that you're too good for anyone (please note: I am not saying that if you don't click with a house, because that happens)...be it sorority, a job, a club, a university....you will be left on the side of the road.

33girl 08-01-2010 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 1961502)
Because most of the girls rushing are freshmen and most are located within two dorms...and because we have sorority halls, not houses, on our particular campus it might not be any better to individually come to the girls' rooms. Those who didn't get bids still see the actives coming to get the new members and hear the celebrations on the halls...and can still see their roomate or the girl down the hall being taken to the hall THEY wanted to move to.

But they get a call far ahead enough of time that they know, right? They should be notified if they don't get a bid so they can get the hell out of Dodge.

carnation 08-01-2010 07:58 AM

Do y'all remember that GCer who told us that at her school on Bid Day, all the PNMs would stand hand to hand in a big circle with their eyes shut? And then the Rho Gammas would walk around the circle and tap the shoulder of those who didn't get a bid and those girls backed out of the circle. Those remaining were told to open their eyes and that they'd gotten bids.:eek:

PenguinTrax and I were really upset. Really. I have been to that school's Bid Day since and they give out bids in a decent way now.

Alumiyum 08-01-2010 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1961545)
But they get a call far ahead enough of time that they know, right? They should be notified if they don't get a bid so they can get the hell out of Dodge.

Of course...I hope there's no school where PNM's sit on the steps when they don't have a bid. Calls are made before midnight the night before (that's the deadline, but it's usually well before.)

33girl 08-01-2010 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 1961655)
Do y'all remember that GCer who told us that at her school on Bid Day, all the PNMs would stand hand to hand in a big circle with their eyes shut? And then the Rho Gammas would walk around the circle and tap the shoulder of those who didn't get a bid and those girls backed out of the circle. Those remaining were told to open their eyes and that they'd gotten bids.:eek:

PenguinTrax and I were really upset. Really. I have been to that school's Bid Day since and they give out bids in a decent way now.

I do remember that. It's like that game 7 Up in an evil form.

KSUViolet06 08-01-2010 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 1961655)
Do y'all remember that GCer who told us that at her school on Bid Day, all the PNMs would stand hand to hand in a big circle with their eyes shut? And then the Rho Gammas would walk around the circle and tap the shoulder of those who didn't get a bid and those girls backed out of the circle. Those remaining were told to open their eyes and that they'd gotten bids.:eek:

PenguinTrax and I were really upset. Really. I have been to that school's Bid Day since and they give out bids in a decent way now.

Ugh. That's like Heads Up 7 Up from hell.

I remember hearing of another school where all the PNMs were assembled in one room and if you got a bid, it was taped to the bottom of your chair. If you didn't, there was nothing there. So terrible.

My school had Pref and Bid Night in the same day (Pref started early in the AM at like 9 and Bid Night around 8/9 PM).

The Rho Chis got ahold of the girls who didn't get a bid as soon as possible after matching so they knew not to come to the Student Center to pick up a bid. It still probably hurt for them though because if you live in a freshman dorm, there are several PNMs living on your floor and you get to hear/see them coming back from Bid Night with all their new stuff.

NMs and sorority members also usually wear Bid Night shirts on Monday to class. I can imagine that it's a bummer if you're one of few girls who didn't get a bid and you get to sit in your Orientation class with like 5 other girls who did.

Alumiyum 08-01-2010 06:07 PM

God that's awful. At least on our campus the girls that are released know that the night before and therefore aren't put on the spot.

SouthernBelle93 12-21-2010 09:37 PM

this has been so helpful. I was convinced i wanted to be an ABC because literally all of my friends are, but now i am going to try and go in with the most open mind possible. I would hate to be "that girl." thanks!!

FleurGirl 12-21-2010 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernBelle93 (Post 2013657)
this has been so helpful. I was convinced i wanted to be an ABC because literally all of my friends are, but now i am going to try and go in with the most open mind possible. I would hate to be "that girl." thanks!!

It's so nice to know that some people read and learn from GC!
Great bump too with deferred recruitment coming up in January at some schools.

KDMafia 12-21-2010 10:28 PM

As I was reading this I was also thinking that there can be a different type of over confidence at smaller/deferred rush schools.

Typically what we happen to see is the belief that since rush is small and not as competitive that whole groups of friends can get into the same house and every year Rho Gammas have issues with girls having "pacts" with their friends to place certain houses first.

Of course one year, one girl stuck with the pack and the other two didn't and they ended up in different houses.

AZTheta 12-21-2010 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDMafia (Post 2013675)
As I was reading this I was also thinking that there can be a different type of over confidence at smaller/deferred rush schools.

Typically what we happen to see is the belief that since rush is small and not as competitive that whole groups of friends can get into the same house and every year Rho Gammas have issues with girls having "pacts" with their friends to place certain houses first.

Of course one year, one girl stuck with the pack and the other two didn't and they ended up in different houses.

Ah, yes... back in the day we called that a "package deal." I remember well one very popular pnm from a Southern California high school. She had a posse of friends going through recruitment with her. She let it be known that if any chapter wanted her, they had to also want all her friends.

It backfired. The entire group ended up bidless. Nobody (in any chapter) liked being bullied.

KDMafia 12-22-2010 07:57 AM

I think that is one of the more negative aspects of deferred recruitment. These girls spend a semester together and become super devoted to each other and they are the best friends ever and cannot imagine their life without each other etc etc.

I remember how friendships felt my freshman year and how many of them didn't last because the intensity level is to high to to maintain. Plus you're getting comfortable in a strange environment and once you feel at home it's easier to start to realize some of your friends annoy you or were in reality more convenient than anything.

However, these girls haven't realized this yet. They coming back after there break where they missed their freedom and their friendships and i think the thought of getting split up seems scary.

FleurGirl 12-22-2010 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDMafia (Post 2013765)
I think that is one of the more negative aspects of deferred recruitment. These girls spend a semester together and become super devoted to each other and they are the best friends ever and cannot imagine their life without each other etc etc.

I feel like that's something the PXs should really emphasize during recruitment -- just because you're in different sororities does not mean you can't be friends anymore! Having good friends in different sororities is how you build strong Panhellenic spirit. It's not just a good thing, it's a GREAT thing. I think some PNMs get caught up in the thought that an ABC can't be super good friends with an XYZ, and that's not true at all.

carnation 12-22-2010 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta (Post 2013678)
Ah, yes... back in the day we called that a "package deal." I remember well one very popular pnm from a Southern California high school. She had a posse of friends going through recruitment with her. She let it be known that if any chapter wanted her, they had to also want all her friends.

It backfired. The entire group ended up bidless. Nobody (in any chapter) liked being bullied.

:eek:I had no idea this could happen! Can you imagine having to make the space for several girls? I wonder if some popular PNM has ever pulled this off?

AZTheta 12-22-2010 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2013774)
:eek:I had no idea this could happen! Can you imagine having to make the space for several girls? I wonder if some popular PNM has ever pulled this off?

Yes, Carnation, there were a few popular PNMs who were successful, including in my own pledge class. Interesting note: that group of girls in my pc started out very tight, and within a few weeks they'd all found other friends in the chapter. In other words, that high school clique didn't hold.

I recall that quota was tightly set and there was no such thing as a quota addition. Without going into membership selection details, it did get dicey and tense at times (e.g. the chapter wanted to extend a bid to one or some members of a clique, but not all).

KDMafia 12-22-2010 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AzTheta (Post 2013784)
Yes, Carnation, there were a few popular PNMs who were successful, including in my own pledge class. Interesting note: that group of girls in my pc started out very tight, and within a few weeks they'd all found other friends in the chapter. In other words, that high school clique didn't hold.

I would imagine that it might be easier to do with larger pledge classes. At smaller schools though a group of 5 girls could be 2/3 to a 1/2 of the class. The making different friends thing is also true. I knew of 2 girls that went to the same house because they were best friends but it was not where one truly wanted to be. So while one was super excited and became super involved the other just never felt truly at home so their friendship grew apart anyway.

Following your heart and remembering you can still be friends are really important messages but then you think about 18 year old girls and how important their friendships are and I can see how those don't always work. I think that's why it's so important for Rho Gammas to have strong relationships with their PNMs. They need them to be willing to confide if they feel they fit in better. Until they admit that there really isn't always much a rho gamma can do.

Alumiyum 12-22-2010 10:15 AM

Oh, package deals. I hated those. Pledge classes at my school are at the most about 22-24, but usually more like 15-19. Five girls who will not be separated don't have a good chance of getting what they want. No matter how many times we explained that, these little groups would always pop up. But I have to say, I never saw an entire group like that get into the same chapter...and I also never saw a PNM refuse a bid because her friends didn't get in.

We tried so many times to explain that being in different organizations in no way means you can't be friends. Some of my best friends were Chi Os and DGs while I was active. I'd always point that out. But they never believed us...:rolleyes:

ETA: I know of several cases of package deals of 2 or 3 girls where 1 or 2 eventually dropped the sorority because they never really felt they fit in there. It's another reason for PNMs to remember they are individuals, not a herd. Just because your BFF is a perfect fit for XYZ doesn't mean you will be...don't join XYZ just because BFF does.

carnation 12-22-2010 10:40 AM

I'm trying to figure out how a PNM would broach that with a sorority: "So, you like me? Then take my 4 buddies." I would love to know how that plays out.

That said, there was a girl who rushed at one of my schools and she was truly the "prize plum" of that year. This being a bed rush, the pledge class sizes were very limited and to the shock of many, a relative of the girl (who normally wouldn't have gotten a bid anywhere, it was felt) ended up in the selective pledge class that Prize Plum was in. I wonder if Relative always felt that on campus:"You're only an Alpha Beta because they had to take you to get Plum."

33girl 12-22-2010 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KDMafia (Post 2013765)
I think that is one of the more negative aspects of deferred recruitment. These girls spend a semester together and become super devoted to each other and they are the best friends ever and cannot imagine their life without each other etc etc.

I remember how friendships felt my freshman year and how many of them didn't last because the intensity level is to high to to maintain. Plus you're getting comfortable in a strange environment and once you feel at home it's easier to start to realize some of your friends annoy you or were in reality more convenient than anything.

However, these girls haven't realized this yet. They coming back after there break where they missed their freedom and their friendships and i think the thought of getting split up seems scary.

This was one positive aspect of spending my whole freshman year with a possessive boyfriend and then going thru rush 1st semester sophomore year. LOL.

The only "package deals" when I was in school were legacies and their friends, and those all worked out fairly decently as the legacies understood the concept of membership selection. I think they got a few like what you originally described after I left, and surprise surprise, those were the girls who didn't do squat, didn't hold offices, etc...jacket sisters in other words.

If anyone would have straight up said "you have to take Shrek to get me" I'm fairly sure we would have told her and Shrek to walk their butts on out of our house. If someone's pullling that sort of power play as a PNM, how obnoxious will they be as an initiated sister??!?


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:19 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.