AIs: "First meeting, now what?"
 

To AIs and my fellow PNAMs:

I'd like to hear some thoughts on continuing the intro process once it starts. You meet a group (or the prez/leader) and then...... what's next? Granted, this is an odd time of year when people are getting ready to take a break over the summer. But what kind of follow-up should a PNAM do during this time to maintain that you are interested without becoming a PITA?

I'd be glad to hear thoughts from the other side of this: from the rest of the alumnae out there.

Winding down the day at work......
Adrienne (PNAM-2003)
:)

Send an email (or hand written note if you have an address available to you)thanking them and telling them what a great time you had and that you are still very interested in them.If you hear back from them keep the lines of communication open.Invite someone that you clicked with out for lunch or a drink or something.There were women that I met at the first alumnae meeting that I would have continued to be friends with even if we didn't have the Alpha Phi connection.If you don't hear from them right away, over the course of the summer just send them a gentle follow up reminder or two that you are still here and interested.Schedules get crazy during the summer and it might seem like they aren't interested if you don't hear from them right away but they just might be busy.I would say that maybe one email a month is fine and PITA free.:)

In my case, with sorority #1, I met with the chapter representative who promptly invited me to a chapter get-together a few days later. Sorority #2 also invited me to an event soon after I met with the chapter president, but I wasn't able to attend one of their events until about a month later. The president of this chapter sent me an e-mail whenever they had an event.

Granted my experiences were a little unusual in that I didn't have to do much follow-up at all, but I think it's safe to say that if people are taking time off for the summer, it might not be a good idea to pepper them with e-mails or letters all summer long. I think one letter sent before the break and one letter sent soon after they reconvene is sufficient.

Now go somewhere and sit still, young lady! :D

Well, as everyone knows, I am a PNAM myself. If you go to an event at an alumna's house, then I would write a thank you note to the alumna association president AND to the woman who hosted the party. The same thing goes for if it was a collegiate chapter you participated with.

Or, you can try some of the following to keep your name fresh in someone's mind without being a pest:

- e-mail your contact person with holiday greetings ("I just wanted to drop you a line to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving/New Year/Independence Day...")

- e-mail your alumna and/or collegiate contact on the organization's Founders' Day to wish them the best on their special day. It shows them that you're knowledgable about the sorority's facts and were obviously interested enough to find out.

- e-mail your collegiate contact to congratulate them on their successful rush. Of course, it helps if they have a website or you've heard from a reliable source that they did well!

Yes, these ideas allow you to show interest and keep your name in front of the other person without sounding impatient or odd. But, frankly, I really *am* interested in this group, it's history and the individual ladies - my notes are always sincere!

Also, there is nothing wrong with the occassional straight-forward follow-up asking about how the AI process is coming along.

Now, with "sorority #1" I did actually send a real thank you card to the ladies via the post because I knew the address. With "sorority #2" I did not have that information. Here are three samples of actual e-mails I have sent with minor adjustments:

Non-confrontational follow-up:

Hello!

Wow! It sure has been quite a while since we last spoke! I hope you've had a
great start to the new year!

You may recall, I spoke with you a couple months ago about my interest in XYZ's alumnae initate program. I just wanted to check in with you and see if there is anything I might be able to help out with. Of course, there's always the possibility that it just isn't a good time. That's ok too! Please do let me know if there is anything I can do. Thanks!

{Mynamehere}

-----

A thank you note after a meeting:


{Nameofalumna},

Thank you so much for taking the time out to find a time and place to meet with me. My confidence in XYZ is constantly growing thanks to friendly ladies such as yourself.

Again I am really glad that I had a chance to finally meet you - I had fun! I will definitely keep in touch while in England!

{Mynamehere}

-----

Random greeting:

Hi {collegiatepresident} and the ladies of {chapterdesignation}!

The other day I read that {insertdate} is XYZ's Founders' Day.

Happy Founders' Day! Best Wishes and I hope XYZ has {howevermany} more!

A Friend of XYZ,

{Mynamehere}

------

Again, I cannot stress enough how important it is that you actually mean what you say. No one wants to be strung along by someone who is acting all fake. In my case, I think that "sorority #2" (referred to as XYZ in the above examples) and the alumna and collegiate members are just super-terrific. I really can't wait to get back to the US so I can call them up and hopefully resume the process. So, in a way, my contacting them is just as much about me expressing to them how much I appreciate them as people as it is about them not forgetting who I am. Does that make sense?

It is a fine line to walk when an alumna flakes and doesn't call you back when she said she would. Sometimes it's necessary to be a mild pain in the rear end in order to get a result. hehehe I recently tried a strategy with a non-greek related issue which seems to work. I couldn't get a person to respond to my e-mails. So, I kept the content of the e-mails positive and upbeat as always, but I changed the subject/title as a subtle way of saying "stop ignoring me". I titled them like this:

- HCHS ticket info needed

- HCHS ticket info needed - Attempt #2

- HCHS ticket info needed - Attempt #3

I always get a result by #3. ;) This system has the added bonus of helping me keep track of when I sent e-mails.

Maybe you won't like any of my ideas. That's ok! They worked for me but they may not work for everyone. :)

.....Kelly :)

My experience was kind of like Sistermadly. After the first event, the next day they sent me the complete calendar of events and invited me to them. The president of the group emailed me often. She was very pleasant. I went to the next event and then would get a follow up "nice to see you there" email from the chapter. It was kind of like they were rushing ME.

I would definately support sending a nice follow up letter (or email). I prefer something handwritten since it shows more effort.

I would say the key thing if you don't hear back right away is that you don't want to cross the line from PNAM to sorority stalker! If you don't hear back after a few attempts, it might be time to move on.

Sorry, but I just have to comment. THAT'S the way it should be in my opinion (as someone's who's been in the president's shoes). If you are going to make the effort, then the alumnae Chapter ought to make the same effort.

I would say send a note to thank them, ask what's coming up. We pretty much won't do much after the Susan G. Komen Race in June, but we do have happy hours during the summer (or try).

If they say thay won't be doing anything until Sept and nothing's planned yet then make a note to contact her in August and see what the schedule is.

Hi Adrienne,
All of the above ladies give great advice. I like the idea of handwritten note cards and thank you letters - the art of beautiful letter writing is somewhat lost now in this Information Age.

I was part of a failed colony, so I already had a connection to Delta Gamma, which made things a bit easier. I had met several National Officers who later sponsored me for membership, so that made it fairly straightforward.

That being said, I would say, always send a thank you note after an event that you've been invited to and attended. And if things seem quiet in summer time, I would also send a note out about a month to a month and a half before "recruitment". The sorority will have recruitment of new members on their mind, and hopefully they will be thinking to recruit an alumna intiate too, not only collegians.

Hang in there...it took a longer time for some ladies but eventually they found their home.

Are you talking about becoming an alumnae member of an alumnae group without being a colliegate member prior? Or are you talking about becoming a member of an alumae group WITH being a prior collegiate member? The reason I am asking is because I hate to be the bearer of bad news is that it's very rare to be a PNAM without being a collegiate member prior.

We are talking about ALUMNAE INITIATES (i.e. women who were initiated after college), not collegiate members turned alumnae members.

A Roll Call of Alumnae Initiates and Prospective Alumnae Initiates!

My Advice to Prospective Alumnae Initiates

Yet another AI thread

Actually, if you read through some of the Alumnae Initiation posts on this board, you'll find that many of our dear GCers have become members through Alumnae Initiation. It is something that many GLOs are either opening themselves up to, or, if they were previously open to it, making their members more aware!

Great insights, people!

I admit, I have some issues w/ patience. As I've told some dear GC friends, if I don't have enough stress in my life, sometimes I go out and find some! :p

One of the things I've learned early on and has helped me out in the process is to read first and see which organizations are open to AI, and to what extent, and which are not. Some orgs are very open and gracious and welcoming to someone interested in AI--at least they are willing to hear these women out and give them a chance before saying "yes" or "no." Others are more reserved: they are open to the process, but will be politely direct and say that they do not practice it frequently--but they will still listen to you before deciding one way or the other. Still others are so closed off to the concept that they can't even wrap their minds around it. Fortunately, those groups are easy to spot. For PNAMs who are approaching GLOs, it's obviously best to avoid them.

Whatever a group's policy is, the AI trend is growing, not shrinking. The time is now to start thinking about policies regarding the process and clarifying them in public so everyone knows what they want and gets where they need to be!

Even though the waters are uncharted for me, I feel I'm on the right course and I've got everyone at GC to thank for it!

Adrienne (PNAM 2003)
:D

In my sorority we just don't do it very often unless this person will absolutely make a difference in the alumnae world. And when we do initiate this person she is usually a legacy that never joined a sorority.

Yes, you're right. We actually do know about Zeta Tau Alpha's policy as we have discussed it before! :D
http://forums.greekchat.com/gcforums...5&pagenumber=4

I see that you're a relative newcomer, so I thought I would point the way to that thread for you! :D :D

This is probably why you don't realize that other sororities have very active Alum Initiate programs and do it regularly. Some groups encourage it, others do not. There was a recent thread (as was pointed out) that left me with the impression that ZTA does not do it very often. However, AOII (for one) actively seeks out women who are past college age and who can contribute to local chapters or be of service some other way. We have had two articles recently in our magazine regarding this very issue and how important those initiates can be.

I have to say my exp to be initiated with Alpha Phi was pretty quick.

I contacted A Phi Exec Office last May with a email truly from my heart telling them how much i was interested in A Phi because i had narrowed it down to A Phi and another XYZ group.

As you can see i kept coming back to my favorite one!:D
With that, EO fwded my email to my local alum chapter here in SO Cal and they invited me the next week to a pottery painting party and offered me a bid that night! Actually they already said they were going to initiated me and had the form to fill out that night to send to EO.

We just missed the spring initation by a week so i had to wait til fall initation in Nov. to be initiated and that is where it all began......6 months total( with summer added in and a few months of the fall quarter in there).

When i left college in the early 90s...many and i do mean MANY sororities did not offer alum initiations. Unheard of! If i knew about A Phi back then i would of approached them a lot sooner. But i believe that God sends us on a path and that timing is key.
What i am trying to say is that "then and now" time changes. who was not open to it then is open now and they are embracing women after college to join their sisterhoods.
I just wish the ones who are not open or the ones who are skeptical of it would see how wonderful an opp it could be for them and for women who want to be a part of a sorority.

Sistermadly, Midwesterngirl, Valkyrie and myself are some of GC Alum Initiates that were initated into Alpha Phi and i speak for myself and i hope for them in saying it is the best decisions of our lives!

Good luck in all you do and hope you find a home soon!


Laura:)