How to Tell if the Conversation Was Genuine or NOT????
 

How can you tell if a sorority sister was being genuine with you or not during recruitment? It seemed like most of the girls I talked to were genuinely interested in the conversations we were having during the rounds and I thought I had made some good connections until I got my list back the next day and was cut by those same houses?:confused:

Conversation is just one part of the process. I'm sure they were all genuinely interested in you...but all of them are genuinely interested in all the women they talk with. The whole point is to sell you one their group...and they succeeded. Other parts are recs, your resume, GPA, etc. That's you selling them! It's a total package consideration - and then they can only invite X number back.

Also to add, I would take the conversation at face value. Unless the individual was clearly giving off body language that she wasn't paying attention, then there was something genuine. As mentioned members are trying to "sell" their group by telling you and others going through recruitment about their group, activities, etc.

This will likely be the first of many similar conversations like this you'll encounter through life. Try not to get too caught up in your mind trying to read tea leaves about this or that. Best of luck!

The conversations could have been completely genuine as others have posted, but at the end of the day, sororities can only invite back so many girls and there are multiple factors involved that drive that.

I liken rush to a job interview - I've interviewed many people over the years at various jobs I've held. There were some I really liked - great personality, terrific resume, etc. I genuinely enjoyed getting to know them, but they weren't a match for the team, the department and/or the company culture. so we didn't hire them. It wasn't personal.

Likewise, sororities know which girls are a fit for their sisterhood. Like a job you don't get, it's not personal. So as andthen wrote, don't read too much into this - it will be the first of many situations like this and a future job interview is where it will also happen.

Everything else matched up though, I have a very high GPA, was super involved in clubs/other organizations, have a good resume, and kept up with my appearance, and don't have a bad reputation. I was just super hurt to see I got cut when I felt so good about a house and thought I had made some strong connections.

It's like how can someone tell if you'd be a good asset to their house or "team" (since we previously compared rush to job interviews) from short conversations that only really hit surface level, like "what is your major?" and "what dorm are you living in this year?". Since most of my cuts happened after round 1.

I have been in upper management for 20+ years. I have interviewed so many applicants for various jobs. I know the minute they walk in the room and within the first few minutes I can tell if the applicant is a good fit for the department/company. It is like a sixth sense and I am usually 99% accurate. I too had some horrific interviews and didn’t want to continue but managed to keep professional and complete the interview without showing signs of disinterest. All of the response posts are accurate. Think of it as meeting a guy, within the first few minutes of the conversation, you can tell whether or not you are interested or going to click with this guy. Don’t blame your self. We all have been rejected in life and rejection is a hard pill to swallow.

This is your second time rushing after getting cut everywhere. Did you do any of the things people mentioned in your other thread, like:

Did you get recs?

Did you create a (clean) social media presence?

Most importantly, did you form friendships with any sorority members outside of formal rush parties?

When you’re a rerushing sophomore, resume and GPA simply aren’t going to cut it. It’s hard to believe you want to be a part of Greek life if you’ve had a year to get to know the women in it and haven’t done so.

You are a sophomore going through for a second year, yes? That may account for some of it. Did you have a recommendation to each sorority?

Focusing on what didn't happen is a waste of energy. Focus on what your options are now. It's not necessarily that they weren't genuine connections, it's just numbers, timing, and a million things you can't control.

I’m not sure at this point if she means conversations that happened this year or last year.

I understand. I'm not saying this to be cliche, I really do. I was a sophomore with a 3.94, was in 4 organizations with leadership positions in 2 (athletic, religious, honors, and professional), I had a STEM major, and at the time was pre-med. I knew how to hold a conversation and looked put together. I had fantastic conversations at a variety of chapters, but found myself with 6 chapters out of a possible 16 after round 1. What happened? (You can read my full story on here if you'd like. I did get a bid.-http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ighlight=spicy)

After I went through recruitment as an active, I saw something that made my experience click. I would talk to PNMs and love them, but know they would be a better fit for another chapter. That isn't to say they couldn't fit in ours, but I thought they would be happier elsewhere. It gave me some perspective into what my conversations as a PNM were like. They were genuine conversations and they probably liked me, but saw me happier in a different chapter. And looking back, I ended up where I belonged. Did I go in wanting this chapter? No! But it worked out for the best after a lot of soul-searching and effort to get to know the women.

Sometimes cuts are for numbers and there were simply too many women that they loved and it had to be done. We will never know what went into that decision and we could run ourselves into the ground trying to think of what happened. It's not worth the pain.

Of course, I could have been dropped for superficial reasons. I could have been dropped because they thought I was too busy or too academic or whatever. If that were the case, though, I definitely would not want to be a part of their chapter and it is not anything to worry about now.

My advice would be to take a deep breath and focus on the chapters that DID invite you back. They wanted to get to know you better. They saw something in you that said "sister." Take the energy that you are putting into second guessing every word you said to the chapters who said no, and put it into the conversations with the chapters who said yes.

Again, I wish there was a "LIKE" button option.

YES!

You were, to quote you, super involved in other multiple organizations, and there was not one single solitary sorority member in any of them?

There were never any sorority or fraternity philanthropies that involved the campus as a whole?

You were never in class with any sorority women?

I find these things hard to believe.

You have to put yourself out there, and it doesn’t sound like you did at all. I’m not trying to be harsh or mean, but people advised you what to do and that’s all we can do for you.