Is not attending every single rush event instant game over?
 

I screwed up tonight and basically missed an event, I seem to have gotten the fraternity's blessing that it's ok but for all I know they are just being polite.

Is it an unspoken rule that someone who misses even one event is automatically not going to be able to join?

My son is going through recruitment and it seems like each fraternity is hosting a variety of events that might appeal to different guys. The rush chair for the group he really wants to join specifically asked him which events he thought he'd attend...there doesn't seem to be any expectation that anyone will attend all, because there are a lot for each fraternity and some conflict. Your campus might be different and some fraternity members here probably have better advice.

This really depends on the school (not that I'm asking you to reveal which one you're at) and the fraternity chapter. It's hard for us to say whether or not this will affect your receiving a bid.

Just keep attending their events (if they're open or you're invited). I know that you want to know "what are my chances?!" but there's no way for us to know. Just get to know the brothers any way you can!

The problem with these types of questions is that we don't know the whole story. I doubt that there is a fraternity anywhere that can impose an order that if you miss one rush event you are disqualified from receiving a bid. They expect every rushee to attend competing rush events.

But here's the problem with your question. Were you invited to an event that was RSVP and the money spent for your spot was wasted? If you RSVP saying you were attending and just didn't show up? That could be a problem. Just as it would be a problem in any social situation.

Chances are that you may have just verbally committed to someone over the phone and then didn't make it. If that's what happened, it may not be a big deal. Or it may be a big deal. Who knows? But I doubt that that would be an automatic no bid. A bigger disqualifier is that nobody in the fraternity knows who your are or that nobody likes you.

So make sure they know that you are still very interested in joining their fraternity. Then go to their events.

For my school and my chapter, not a big deal at all.

If you're at a school with a lot of chapters and rush is structured in such a way that most of the events are off campus (our school often had rush events like paintball, comedy clubs, go-karts, batting cages, that sort of thing) the chapters understand that you aren't going to make every event.

That being said, if this is a house you really, really want, make sure you're there for the final and second to final events if you can make it. Our final was comparable to a sorority pref in that you could choose one fraternity for a formal, suit and tie dinner, and it was from that group of men that we chose bids. Subsequently, our second final event was more or less the selection of the finalists, so to speak.

If it's an earlier round event and they like you, it's not going to be an issue. As you get closer to the wire, the cuts become more severe and it's not just based on "he's chill" anymore, but we start to vet you out to see how interested you are as well.