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-   -   Schools where you absolutely positively need recs (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=112718)

33girl 04-25-2016 08:47 PM

I'm guessing that the groups who have a "must have a rec before bidding" policy and are in areas where alumnae are scarce, have that item worked out long before rush...or they probably wouldn't have pledge classes.

jolene 04-25-2016 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2409622)
I'm guessing that the groups who have a "must have a rec before bidding" policy and are in areas where alumnae are scarce, have that item worked out long before rush...or they probably wouldn't have pledge classes.

I've always side-eyed that policy. Chapters would die out if that was the standard. Heck, a sorority would die out. Why on earth would founding 'mothers/sisters' would sanction that? I'm no expert on general Panhellenic affairs and can only speak for my own org, but that policy doesn't make sense. Maybe actives have misinterpreted a bylaw? Maybe I'm biased, but I was the first in my family to go to college much less go Greek. I wound up being very active and working on exec and in the Panhellenic community, but had no connections of which to get a rec. I went through informal. If that is such a rigid thing, you are missing out on amazing women. Don't fault us on being clueless on the Greek system. I'm the gal who had one of the highest GPAs in my chapter and was considered 'hot' by other frats.

AnchorAlumna 04-25-2016 10:58 PM

Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.
Yes, we have chapters who have no idea what a rec is or why you'd want one. Yes, we'e had our share of Miss High School Perfections who transforms into Miss Helen Wheels Colleges.
But it IS a fraternity-wide rule, and a practice followed by the chapters with which I work. At least, if I have anything to say about it.;)

DeltaBetaBaby 04-26-2016 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna (Post 2409626)
Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.

Sure, my point is just that I'd rather have Anna AGD, Donna DG, and Carol ChiO vouch for her than someone in my own org who met her for fifteen minutes because she emailed the local alumnae chapter. I don't think any NPC org is *that* different in its standards for membership.

Buniculus 04-26-2016 12:54 AM

I'm going through recruitment at Cornell. Are recs needed there? They have deferred recruitment, so, when would I need to have everything in? I have no greek family members, so greek life will be new for me. From the looks of the FB pages, the groups have been on campus a long time, but there is little information on their greek life website about what is required.

AnchorAlumna 04-26-2016 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2409628)
Sure, my point is just that I'd rather have Anna AGD, Donna DG, and Carol ChiO vouch for her than someone in my own org who met her for fifteen minutes because she emailed the local alumnae chapter. I don't think any NPC org is *that* different in its standards for membership.

I certainly agree with that. My other pet peeve - alumna who take a short meet and write a rec. If you can't do it right...

AnchorAlumna 04-26-2016 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buniculus (Post 2409631)
I'm going through recruitment at Cornell. Are recs needed there? They have deferred recruitment, so, when would I need to have everything in? I have no greek family members, so greek life will be new for me. From the looks of the FB pages, the groups have been on campus a long time, but there is little information on their greek life website about what is required.

Have you checked out their Panhellenic site? http://www.cornellphc.org/ The schedule is probably for 2016, but the dates will probably be roughly the same for 2017.

Titchou 04-26-2016 08:03 AM

Cornell as a rule isn't one of the places where they are required by all groups. However,some of the groups may have a national policy requiring them. If you can get them it wouldn't hurt.

Sciencewoman 04-26-2016 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna (Post 2409626)
Unless you have a rec, all you have is a list of unconfirmed stuff the PNM has given you.

I have collected too many stories about PNMs who gave a great first impression, and then turned out to be suicidal, have emotional problems, lied on their resume about their grades and more, loved to stir up drama, were fond of drinking, had an arrest record and, oh yes, were promiscuous. All that could have been found out pretty quickly by a hometown alumna with a few connections and a lot of tears and time would not have been wasted by the chapter.
Yes, we have chapters who have no idea what a rec is or why you'd want one. Yes, we'e had our share of Miss High School Perfections who transforms into Miss Helen Wheels Colleges.
But it IS a fraternity-wide rule, and a practice followed by the chapters with which I work. At least, if I have anything to say about it.;)

Some of these things don't show up until students are away at school, particularly mental health issues. Or, the family can keep them hidden due to stigma. Any group of college-aged students needs to be prepared to handle/address these issues in an appropriate manner. 'Cause they will happen.

amIblue? 04-27-2016 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2409616)
I wish there was some way to share more info among groups. I feel like a certain number of NPC alums endorsing Suzy should be good enough, regardless of what group they are from. This is not to criticize any groups MS policies, only to point out that it's a shame to see women not considered for membership because of a technicality.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby (Post 2409628)
Sure, my point is just that I'd rather have Anna AGD, Donna DG, and Carol ChiO vouch for her than someone in my own org who met her for fifteen minutes because she emailed the local alumnae chapter. I don't think any NPC org is *that* different in its standards for membership.

I really like this idea. Honestly, if one of my friends in another sorority has known someone for years and will vouch for a girl, then I will write a good rec for her even if I don't know her. A standard NPC rec could level the playing field both for sororities and PNMs. Probably never going to happen, but I like it.

ree-Xi 08-07-2016 10:28 PM

It slays me that any of the schools where Recs are "a must" still write/insist in their Recruitment booklets that recs are the direct responsibility of the chapter and not the PNM, and that Recs are not mandatory. It could be detrimental to the women who don't have a lot of help or know any active/alumnae members, she may get lost in the shuffle.

Titchou 08-07-2016 11:18 PM

I assure you that if a group really wants a woman, there are ways to get a signature on a rec. and also why we always tell PNMs to ask the rec writers they do find if they know anyone in the other groups they need. I've written many a rec on a friend's recommendation.

ree-Xi 08-08-2016 03:45 PM

That's great to know! The schools listed as must-haves are worlds apart from what it done in my part of the country.

I have a legacy going through recruitment this year at one of the schools listed and I told her to absolutely do everything she can to get at least 1 rec for each chapter, regardless of what they are told. I am happy that she was able to secure recs for every chapter. She has a good head on her shoulders and is going into recruitment with no expectations.

33girl 08-08-2016 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 2415261)
It slays me that any of the schools where Recs are "a must" still write/insist in their Recruitment booklets that recs are the direct responsibility of the chapter and not the PNM, and that Recs are not mandatory. It could be detrimental to the women who don't have a lot of help or know any active/alumnae members, she may get lost in the shuffle.

Recs aren't required to go through rush, which is being put on by Panhellenic. Also, Panhel has no idea of each group's individual membership selection policy. For them to act as if they did could open them up to a lot of repercussions - "Panhel said I needed recs and I.got them and still didn't get a bid. I'm suing their butts."

I mean, yes, it does suck for those who come into a very competitive rush clueless, but I understand the rationale behind it. It's kind of like schools not endorsing landlords that aren't affiliated with the school. When you make yourself an authority on.something, you declare yourself responsible.

DeltaBetaBaby 09-15-2016 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou (Post 2415262)
I assure you that if a group really wants a woman, there are ways to get a signature on a rec.

DING DING DING!


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