Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended
 

Let's see . . . my sorority sister with whom I lived for one hellish year (she was part of a package deal - I loved Stacy, so I ended up with her and Alice). First, the invitation - a lovely Victorian era print on the front - but the text - ??? We were asked to come and watch as they celebrated their love. I called Stacy - was this an invitation? We weren't going to go - but then we were asked to be in the house party. Being properly brought up southern girls, we knew we were stuck.
SO - it's August, in San Marcos Texas. I am 6 months pregnant and already pretty darn big. The wedding is outside in a park, near the train tracks and across from the police station. The wedding is delayed because the mother of the bride has disappeared. I am sweltering in a navy blue dress and hat. The groom's side of the affair is interesting - all in jeans, cowboy shirts, trucker hats - and the bride's is in suits, ties, and dresses. Yep, she's marrying Billy Joe Bubba Redneck (and let me say - I have a Bubba in my family, and one or two rednecks, but even they know how to dress for a wedding.) Finally the mom shows up. The wedding can begin!
Alice was a dance major. So here come 4 girls in white unitards, and begin to do a modern dance interpretation of marriage. The groom's side looks decidely uncomfortable.
Finally the wedding proper can begin. Alice comes down the aisle, and they begin their vows. OH WAIT - because the mom was late, the ceremony is now late . . .and here comes the train! The minister continues to try and conduct the service, but no one can hear him.
Did I mention that I'm pregnant? Oh - and this little park has no bathrooms. FUN.
We think the end is near - but no. Every police car at the station begins to peel out, sirens blaring, lights flashing. After that, the minister finally announces they are husband and wife.
Now off to the reception. We RACE to the reception(VFW) hall (I really need a bathroom) . It's locked up. Yeah! So we wait, and wait and wait - finally an aunt of the bride comes and opens it up. Nothing has been set up - other than the cake. No one knows what to do, so I end up setting up a table for the gifts, putting together the punch, getting Stacy to get the refreshments out, and I start pouring punch. That's what I do for the next hour and a half. Finally the happy couple leave,and I then help clean up.
And that's the last I ever heard from Alice No thank you, no phone call, nothing.
Not that I'm bitter.

So what's the worst wedding you've attended/

This precious local Mexican girl announced her wedding plans. The family immigrated here about 15 years ago and everyone loves them! I was excited because my family would get to see an authentic Mexican wedding, which they assured us they were having.

It was held in midsummer in this gorgeous but un-airconditioned stone church at a nearby college. Because we knew there would be a crowd, we arrived quite early. For 30 minutes before the wedding, bridesmaids and groomsmen were wandering casually up and down the aisle...so much for the surprise effect. At about 15 minutes after the appointed hour, they started an informal rehearsal! The Americans in the audience were looking around like, "What the ??" She had chosen some American friends to be attendants to carry some ropes of ivy down the aisle. Only thing was, no one was telling them what to do and they were looking around in dismay.

Finally the wedding ground into action. The ivybearers came cluelessly down the aisle, looked around, gave up, and sat down in the front! Then the groomsmen apparently got bored during the sermon and did the same! One groomsman's cell phone rang and he left. The mariachi band was wandering in and out. The priest did the ceremony in Spanish and then did the WHOLE THING in English. By now, it was surely 90 degrees in the church. I told my daughter if she got married in that church in the warm months, I wasn't coming. (So she did it in December.)

The reception was just as bad; apparently the dad invited every Latino in Georgia to it and they ran out of food. And the dad owns a huge restaurant! We couldn't move at all, they had very little food left by the time we got into line, and we left when people started getting thrown in the pool.

It was totally unlike any other Mexican wedding I've been to; the rest were classy and tasteful. I spent the next couple of years having to assure the Americans who went that most Mexican weddings are nothing like that.

The worst wedding I ever attended was the wedding of a high school / college classmate of my husband's: "Aaron".

Aaron had been raised as a Conservative Jew. Once in college, he rebelled and became totally non-religious. Some time after college, he "got religion" and decided to become a practicing Orthodox Jew.

In Orthodox Judaism, it's common for a matchmaker to introduce a young man and a young woman who might be well matched. If they hit it off, they sometimes get married pretty quickly. So, Aaron had been introduced to this young woman, "Leah", and they set a wedding date six weeks (!) away.

They sent out wedding invitations instructing guests to email (!) their responses.

Before and during the wedding ceremony, men and women were separated (very common in Orthodox Judaism). Before the ceremony, I made my own way, chatting with other women guests, but my poor DH had to pray along with the groom and all the other men... He was less than thrilled.

The ceremony itself was beautiful. Then came the Reception From Hell.

The seating at the reception was totally haphazard. Everyone at my table was a high school friend of the groom's, except me (placed there as my DH's wife) and one random guy who was a coworker of the groom's. The one random guy looked absolutely miserable, seated with no one he knew. There were huge gaps in the seating arrangements, because everyone who didn't respond was evidently assumed to be coming.

There was dancing (men and women were again separated). At one point, a line of women danced onto the floor, rocking their arms as if cradling babies, while the band played a lullaby. Hint much?

All the kosher caterers in Boston are booked up years in advance, because there are so few of them. So the happy couple had arranged catering from the local kosher Chinese restaurant (!!). And as if that weren't bad enough -

THEY RAN OUT OF FOOD.

THEY FREAKING RAN OUT OF FOOD.

So they sent back to the restaurant for more food. After a nice long delay while the food was prepared, it was sent over, and by the time it arrived it was COLD.

And there was no cake, pareve or otherwise.

DH exchanges emails with Aaron from time to time (he and Leah have a baby) but I haven't spoken to him since.

Oh, and the thank-you card? Over a year late.

Ghetto Weddings II
Ghetto Weddings I

For your amusement..we certainly have enjoyed the stories...

I don't know about worst....but my mother's family has a knack for throwing memorable weddings.....shall I recap for you??

There was the time the brattiest cousin of them all hit the floor during his ceremony when the priest got to to the part about having children....(total crack up from the other cousins). Then later during the reception he picked up his bride to carry her out, and dropped her :). snicker snick snicker...

And it seems like most of the wedding receptions on my mom's father's side (maternal grandfather) end up having a fist fight or two at them. I can't think of one in the last 25 years that hasn't. Like the time, another cousin got married...and there was a huge brawl back in the bar room of the hall that it was held at. My uncle went in to break it up, pulling people out of the pile, only to find his little brother (my other uncle) at the bottom of the pile. Where upon, fight-breaker-up brother started tossing dog pile people OUT THE DOOR (I am NOT KIDDING) for having pummelled his younger brother. oh, the policed were summoned for that one....it was hilarious actually.

There seem to be some common themes emerging - hot (summer brides, beware), running late, and running out of food! This should be required reading for brides-to-be!

I don't know if this even counts, but my husband's stepbrother had a courthouse wedding. The bride wore a BLACK dress. I was in charge of keeping her four little brats (ages 9, 7, 5 and 3) quiet during the ceremony. The only other people there were the bride's parents. My husband couldn't even come, because he was working, and there was no way for him to get out of it. The justice of the peace kept looking at my husband's step-brother and saying "You DO realize you're getting married, right? Are you sure you want to do this??".

They are still married, and have added two more kids into the mix. Hey - at least that makes two sets of kids (the two oldest and the two youngest) who are full siblings!:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Aahh these stories are hilarious! I don't have a 'worst' wedding story per say - but I have an anecdote.

The first is from the wedding of my now ex's older brother. The wedding itself was fine, in a nice little Methodist church outside of Baltimore, and everything was going fine (well, except for the bride's father mistaking an Indonesian friend of the middle brother for one of the waitstaff and proceeding to insult him...:rolleyes:) until we get to the part where the ministers are making their little speeches. There were two ministers officiating, a man and a woman. The woman goes first. "Here we are today, gathered together on this beautiful day. Beth and Jean look beautiful. All of you look beautiful. This church is beautiful, the weather is beautiful," AND ON AND ON! She must have used the word beautiful every other word for a good 10 minutes! To make matters worse, the middle brother started to feel as though he was going to pass out and looked as pale as death, and hearing this minister use the word beautiful so many times did nothing to help. Finally she finishes (no disrespect but we all kinda wondered what she was on...), and the other minister goes up and says "Yes, everyone looks beautiful, even Bill! (the bride's dad).

Ah the memories. My husband has a friend from college, we'll call her "Squeeky". Anyway, Squeeky married her college boyfriend who decided half-way through college to become a minister, so he dropped out and went to the seminary.
Their wedding took place in the chapel at the seminary and the director of the seminary was the officiant. During the vows he told Squeeky that now that she was entering the bonds of marriage, it was her duty to submit to her husband's wishes. At this point my own husband had to lean over to ask me to release his hand because I was squeezing it so hard it was about to break.
I remember Squeeky had to make all kinds of vows but her husband only had to pledge to love and honor her. I distinctly remember that Squueky was vowing things and her husband was pledging them. Not sure why the difference in language.

Anyway, the reception was in a hall at the seminary, and when we get there, all we see is a cake. After standing around for about half an hour a guy comes in with a boombox that looked straight out of 1987 (this was in 1998) and puts a Christian music tape on- and not contemporary Christian, but very traditional old-school stuff. Finally the bride and groom arrive, they cut the cake (no mints, no nuts) and someone pulls out some 2-litres. Everyone helps themselves to cake and we sit down, waiting for the reception to "begin", then the throw the bouquet. No garter toss- against seminary rules- it's considered "lewd". Also no first dance or any dancing for that matter becuase it's also against seminary rules. So about 15 minutes after the cake was cut, all the guests were leaving.

So cut to two years later when my husband and I are getting married. We get an e-mail from Squeeky stating that she cannot come to the wedding because it is in a Catholic Church. But no hard feelings, right? And she sends us a gift- a candle holder and candle. It's pretty, but when we were opening the gifts at the brunch the day after our wedding, one of my husband's groomsmen mentions that the candle holder looks very familiar. Turns out it was the gift that he had given Squeeky. :rolleyes:

Here's one that still makes me laugh.

A friend of mine went to a very fancy & gorgeous wedding at the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove. I remember she showed me the invitation and it stated that the wedding was black-tie so of course, she is dressed up & her boyfriend is in a tux. She told me it was an absolutely stunning wedding ceremony.
Then the reception started. It was in the basketball gym of their local rec center. She was told that there would be a buffet so after the ceremony, she's thinking they'll be having some sort of fancy dinner but instead, the guests were each given one Styrofoam cup with their name put on it in Sharpie marker b/c there were not enough cups to go around so you better not lose it. And it got worse. For "dinner" the guests stood in a buffet line so that they could be given a plastic plate with 8 ritz crackers (no joke) and there was a HUGE wedge of cheddar cheese that some old lady was giving each guest 2 small pieces from it. They also got a little bit of fruit. They got one ladle of punch and the wedding cake was a sheetcake with the bride & groom's picture on it. That's it.

My friend couldn't believe it and when she told me, I couldn't stop laughing.

oh that is just awful! [tangent] i was at an afterwork event where my (Indian) co-worker was wearing a black skirt, white blouse and a pinstriped vest and at least 2 co-workers asked her for hors d'oeuvres. she was like, "well, im never wearing THIS outfit again!"

It's a biblical thing. Most churches don't take it to that extreme, but the language is in First Corinthians, I believe. I don't remember the exact wording - as we did our vows in Spanish.

Also, if you've ever read the Five Languages of Love, it makes more sense.

i. am. eloping.

i just dont understand?? i am confused thru my tears of laughter!

i havent been to any completely disastrous weddings, some of them just had moments where everyone kinda looked at each other like "wha?"

there was the lovely reception with the nazi servers. by the the time we hit the end of the buffet line, i could still see plate. that is a big thing with me: seeing plate. that means you were being super stingy with the food.

another reception was held in a church basement. with grey concrete brick walls. how chic! there was one long decorated table, right up against the wall, which meant everyone had to squeeze to get to their seat. oh, and that table was just for the wedding party. across from them was about 4 rows of chairs. i elbowed my girlfriend and whispered "what, are we going to watch them eat?" i was halfway right. no tables for us guests.

one girl had an absolutely awful soloist, one of her aunts. we STILL laugh at that.

i think my least favorite experience was standing in southern VA, middle of July, 97 degree heat. in a full length bridesmaid gown. my daughter, the bell ringer, looked a complete frizzy mess by the time we got into the church. it had to be 80 inside, so hot that the brides veil was sticking to her forehead, and one of the jr. bridesmaids had to sit down because she felt faint. the church was slam-packed, people were standing in the back and on the sides. other than that it was a very nice wedding.