Another observation:
A lot of the same experiences I shared and still experience with my Beta sisters and with my Amby (Student Ambassadors) family are what I was looking for in NPC sorority life. I've been to formals and socials and parties, spent nights getting dolled up with upteen girlfriends, we study together, and experienced the new member periods and go for late night runs for food, we've seen each other at our best and at our worst. We also share traditions and rituals and retreats and memories galore. Two of my Beta sisters graduated from school and the Ambys this year....and they passed on something special to me after they'd BOTH graduated, with the instruction to pass it on down to one of our fellow Beta/Amby sisters when I graduate next May since she will still be a student here. They'd received the object from an Amby before them, who received it from an Amby before THEM. It was such a 'simple' thing.....but the meaning behind what they gave me....I just started to cry right then and there. And THAT was when I came to truly and utterly love the place in which I ended up. They're not the same exact experiences, but you cannot make A peg fit into C hole. It just causes trouble, chaos and....shall we say it....doesn't make anything better. C peg fits into C hole perfectly and when you relax and enjoy (and don't forget about school! That comes first!) things will fall into place for you. I promise. |
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Second, I wanted to comment on the "staying friends with sorority members and Rho Chis" aspect of this post (for the benefit of other PNMs reading.) Some people go on to make friends with their Rho Chis and other sorority members, so those relationships may continue after bid day for those who receive bids (as you will see each other at different events.) I know we talk a lot about recruitment being a place to meet people and your Rho Chi being a great resource and possibly a shoulder to cry on. Those are true. Some people REMAIN friends with their Rho Chis even when they don't get bids (i.e. MTSUGurl.) However, I would caution those who don't receive a bid to recognize that after Bid Day, your Rho Chi and sorority member friends go back to being sorority members. This means that you may not travel in the same circles, see each other everyday, etc. Your sorority member friends and former Rho Chi may not have time to hang out or be your shoulder to cry on like they may have been before or during recruitment. Please don't take offense to this. It's not that they don't like you, are avoiding you because you aren't Greek, etc. It's just that people get back to their busy lives, sorority membership, etc. and don't always have time to be your shoulder after recruitment is over. I've seen women get really sad/offended that their Rho Chi doesn't want to hang out and stuff after Bid Day (esp. when said PNM is released.) So just something to think about. I'd never want a PNM to be like "I didn't get a bid, then after Bid Day my Rho Chi never hung out with me. I thought she was supposed to be my friend, what gives???" |
I really believe that the reason that my Rho Chi and I stayed friends and I was able to build actual friendships with some of the other girls that I met was BECAUSE I was an upperclassman that had already had some other activities, other friends and other things that filled my time; these were also the girls more likely to be in my classes so we worked on projects together, etc. Recruitment, and then Omega Phi Alpha were a part of my life, but not my WHOLE life. I was able to talk to them about more than sorority recruitment, and of course never acted the part of the hanger-on that begged, "So do you think they'd want me now? Could you get me a bid?"
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^^^Right. I don't know if anyone has had the experinece of having one of your friends not get a bid to your sorority, but it's awkward. Same for Rho Chis/SRCs who have girls in their groups who don't get bids. It's already awkward, but when that girl wants to hang out and talk about how she didn't get a bid or ask abour COR opportunities, it gets even MORE awkward.
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I have a second hand experience at University of Alabama, Tuscaloosa. My CA niece went thru rush as a Freshman in Fall 2012. She had a 3.0 GPA. She was told she needed a 3.0 to be successful in recruitment but this info was very misleading. No one cared that she had a diagnosed learning disability or that her Jr./Sr. years GPA was 3.8. She knew that it was going to be difficult from the get-go, especially for out-of-state girls. She had 1-2 recs for all but 2 houses. She had 6 years of community service, earning several awards for her work. She also had a 20 hour a week job for her Jr. and Sr. years. She was dropped by 13 of 18 houses the first day and retained only 1 house after the third day. She was assured that she would receive a bid to her sole remaining house had she remained in the process but she chose to drop out. After rush was over, she was told by several girls that they wanted to extend a bid to her but that the choice was not theirs (come to find out that is true after hearing about the AL sorority rush race scandal). She decided to meet and get to know as many Greeks as she could and to work hard on her GPA. This paid off. Not only did she improve her GPA (3.5 her first semester) but she changed her mind on her preferred sorority and received a bid during COB (continuous open bidding for those who find acronyms so annoying!) during Spring, 2013 semester. She is a very happy camper and her mother was happy she avoided the continuous partying subjected to Fall pledges (4 parties a week, rather hypocritical to ask an exhausted brand new freshman to retain their good GPAs under those circumstances). Her GPA did suffer but she has resolved to study in the library rather than the sorority "study room". There is hope after an unsuccessful rush, even at AL. She was planning on going thru Fall, 2013 rush until she received her bid in Spring, 2012. It would've been a nerve wracking experience but a strong girl is capable. Improving GPA, joining campus clubs, volunteering off-campus...any or all of these can help a previously unsuccessful rushee. Work hard, keep an open mind and meet new people. And good luck!
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TTT!
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Bumping this one! :)
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bump
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And I know it's hard, but folks need to RESIST the urge to call the chapter houses to question recruitment results. Most of the time, you just end up unloading on whichever poor active sister just happened to walk past it. |
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Sidenote: I don't think it's even possible to "call" a chapter anymore and yell at a sister. We don't have a dedicated landline number for anyone to contact us with, instead listing emails as contact points on our chapter website. Maybe the inevitable march of technology has produced one good thing by insulating innocent sisters from angry family members and rec writers. |
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