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-   -   My COB story! Follow along. (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=227477)

berumotto 03-21-2017 11:45 AM

My COB story! Follow along.
 
Hi all,

This is my first post on this thread after having lurked around for a few weeks. Wahoo!

I am currently a sophomore at a northern school. I'm not sure how competitive my school is, but generally most girls who go through formal recruitment will get a bid.

My freshman year, I did not participate in formal recruitment. At the time, I had no clue what Greek life really was, and all I knew were the negative stereotypes associated with it. However, I eventually came to know some really nice girls who were in Greek life. So, my perceptions of sororities changed. I realized how fun and enriching sisterhood can be, and I signed up for formal recruitment this past fall.

I found formal recruitment to be somewhat overwhelming, and I honestly didn't realize how much of a time commitment joining a sorority would be. I eventually dropped out of recruitment before preference day due to personal reasons (I had recently been offered a position at an amazing internship, but it would have prevented me from having free time on the evenings, when chapter/other events would have taken place).

Now, my internship is over, and COB is starting up! There was one sorority that I really liked during formal, and I am planning to rush them when they hold informal in early April. I should note that they did not pref me-- I don't know if that matters. Informal recruitment here is very casual-- the sorority advertises the events, and anybody can come. I have already met with the chapter president to learn more about her experience, and I went to a chapter fundraising event. It was framed as a "meet the sisters" event despite not being on the official informal recruitment events list, so I'm not sure what that means. But I had fun anyways!

I'll post updates as I go. I'm very excited, but nervous at the same time. :)

jolene 03-21-2017 03:21 PM

Good luck! I went through informal and probably would have been freaked out by formal rush.

berumotto 03-21-2017 03:42 PM

Thank you!

I am hoping that the fact that I was not preffed does not affect my ability to rush informally. :)

33girl 03-21-2017 03:50 PM

It has nothing to do with it. You dropped out of rush, you were not cut by the sorority (as far as you know). You have a good reason for doing so, but women will probably ask why you did drop out.

berumotto 03-21-2017 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2429256)
It has nothing to do with it. You dropped out of rush, you were not cut by the sorority (as far as you know). You have a good reason for doing so, but women will probably ask why you did drop out.

I should clarify: I actually do know that they cut me. I went in the morning of Preference Day to let my recruitment advisor know that I wished to drop, but she allowed me to see where I was invited back. I was not invited back to this house. :(

I'm a little worried because I'm not receiving much follow up from the chapter president (we met about two weeks ago). After I met with her, she did not contact me again until I asked her about further events (I texted her last week). She quickly responded about the fundraising event.

I told a friend that I was interested in the sorority (I'll just refer to it as ABC from now on). She is a sister of ABC, and she reached out to me for lunch with sisters this weekend. So I suppose that's still promising!

FSUZeta 03-21-2017 06:05 PM

It is. It may be telling that that the president didn't get back with you, or it could simply be that she is really, really busy. You reaching out to your friend is a great idea, and yay that she invited you to have lunch with some of her sisters and her! Good luck!

jolene 03-21-2017 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2429256)
It has nothing to do with it. You dropped out of rush, you were not cut by the sorority (as far as you know). You have a good reason for doing so, but women will probably ask why you did drop out.

Agreed. You had an opportunity that could help your career down the road. Hard to pass up on that when you can still COB the next semester. Orgs will understand if that's why you dropped out of rush.

AZTheta 03-21-2017 07:27 PM

Please bear in mind that the chapter president has a lot on her plate! She's going to school and she's in charge of the chapter. Wishing you the very best of luck.

berumotto 03-22-2017 11:09 AM

Thanks for the advice, everyone! :)

For clarification, I don't mean to be impatient! It's just that ABC's president did say she would get me in contact with someone from the recruitment team-- I was just a little disappointed that she never followed up on that. Additionally, when I told another sister (I'll refer to her as 'J') that I was rushing, she was super happy for me and promised to set me up with more sisters so I could learn about ABC. I made time to meet-- but J never got back to me. :(

Part of me worries me about this-- maybe they don't think I'm a good fit? I had a really good time talking to sisters at the fundraising event, so I really hope it's not that.

FSUZeta 03-23-2017 07:16 AM

If there are several members you have touched base with in the hopes of being invited to an event/asked to join, and they have not gotten back with you, perhaps you should let it lie. This may be their way of telling you that they won't be extending you a bid this semester.

Why only try with this group? Were they the only chapter that could pledge new members this semester?

berumotto 03-23-2017 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta (Post 2429340)
If there are several members you have touched base with in the hopes of being invited to an event/asked to join, and they have not gotten back with you, perhaps you should let it lie. This may be their way of telling you that they won't be extending you a bid this semester.

Why only try with this group? Were they the only chapter that could pledge new members this semester?

So far, the two sisters I've contacted have not followed through with what they said they would do. I still had fun at the ABC fundraiser. Several sisters sat down, introduced themselves, and talked to me. (They even invited me for ice cream afterwards!) But I do see your point.

Should I not attend the ABC informal recruitment events, then? :confused:

Also, I am rushing ABC in particular because it is the only chapter (that I know of) that's having informal.

Xidelt 03-23-2017 11:36 AM

I would encourage you to attend the events, regardless of the lack of contact from the sisters.

Sciencewoman 03-23-2017 11:40 AM

If the informal recruitment events are open to all, and not invitation only, I would go. See what kind of a vibe you get. Students get busy and while you may be hyper-focused on them and trying to read a lot into what they're following through with or not following through with, they are likely going on with their busy lives and are not as hyper-aware of not following through with you. Or, it could be a sign that they're being polite but not super interested in you. You don't have anything to lose by going to events. Don't give off a desperate or overly intense vibe when you attend. Express sincere interest and thanks, but don't send texts that veer into being pesty.

berumotto 03-23-2017 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman (Post 2429352)
If the informal recruitment events are open to all, and not invitation only, I would go. See what kind of a vibe you get. Students get busy and while you may be hyper-focused on them and trying to read a lot into what they're following through with or not following through with, they are likely going on with their busy lives and are not as hyper-aware of not following through with you. Or, it could be a sign that they're being polite but not super interested in you. You don't have anything to lose by going to events. Don't give off a desperate or overly intense vibe when you attend. Express sincere interest and thanks, but don't send texts that veer into being pesty.

These events are open to all, indeed!

I'll keep in mind your point about not seeming desperate. As much as I like the idea of being a sister, I still have to think about finances and the time commitment. Not to mention-- ABC has to like me back. Can't get ahead of myself yet! :rolleyes:

FSUZeta 03-23-2017 08:56 PM

That is good news that there are upcoming events that are open to all (btw, it helps us help you when we have all the details). Yes you should go to the open events. Seem interested, but not stalkerish. Good luck!


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