Going Empty handed!
 

When going to a barbecue, picnic, dinner party do you go empty-handed or bring something?

The way I was raised you always bring something even if it's a bottle of cheap wine. It appears a lot of people just show up. Times have changed.

I was raised the same way.

You alwayz bring something, whether it's wine, chips, napkins, something. Not just your empty hands and stomach.

:D

I ususally try to prepare something or just buy a few things that may be great for everyone to enjoy.

Depends on who's having it. My mother raised me in that if you can't afford to have a party (i.e. provide ALL of the food/drinks, etc.) don't have one, so it's not always first in my mind to bring something or to ask what to bring. If my mother was hosting a gathering back in the day only her CLOSEST girlfriends (there were 2) were asked to bring something and it was only because it was their speciality. I know most people do the pot luck thing now, so I try to ask now and will bring something if they say so. Family gatherings are different. They were typically pot luck unless it was a special occasion (an anniversary, etc.)

I always ask do you need or want me to bring anything.

I wish my mom had talked to some of them too!! I've been "inivted" to gatherings where I was not ASKED but TOLD what to bring. I was like dang....I can stay home and eat my own cooking!! LOL

My whole thing is don't try to be a baller if you ain't. A former co-worker wanted to have a big shing ding for her 40th. She was renting out the private room at a popular supper club here, ADAMENT about people dressing in formal attire (full length dresses, tuxes, etc.) and had the banging menu. I was like "WOW, that sounds NICE!!" Then she lets out that it would only be $30.00 per person!! Plus, she expected a gift! I told her, honey you are not having a party, you asked some folks to go to the club AND you trying to tell them what to wear?!?!? After breaking down my thought process, she decided to scale back her affair.

When I go to someone else's bobbyq, most of the time I may not have the time to pick up something, and im sure not cooking anything, so I will just slide them a bill.

But when I have bobbyq's some people bring and others don't. I think it's just a thoughtful thing to do, whether the person says yes or no. I would give them something anyways

I never try to arrive at an event empty-handed. If it's a birthday party at a restaurant: a gift and/or card, plus the knowledge that I'll be paying for my own (and others if the bill is divided equally be the # of people attending) food.

If it's a bbq or house event, I'll usually ask the host if they'd like me to bring something. If I'm not that close to the hosts I won't ask, and I'll just bring napkins, sodas or the like. If I know the hosts well, I'll bring some food dish or whatever I'm asked to bring. If it's a dinner party at a home, I'll usually supply a bottle of wine or vodka or some part of the dessert.

LOL @ folks who expect gifts at their events. I decided long ago that I would never host an event (with the exection of a baby or bridal shower) where I plan the event with the expectation of supplementing the event with gifts/$ or donations. Any gifts, food or donations brought are thoughful and appreciated additions. I throw parties for myself, and invite folks simply to be a part my celebration. If I cannot afford to do it all with my own bank account, then I should scale back or not do it at all. That's probably why I've only held an event once at a place (a club) that folks had to pay at the door to get in. I felt bad about that and vowed to try and avoid that in the future.

In fact, I wonder if it's even good etiquette to "invite" someone to party with you at a dinner "they" will have to pay for (unless it's work related)? I wonder if it's more appropriate to say "please dine with us at "John Doe's Restaurant" on June 20 in honor of my birthday, rather than "inviting" someone to attend your "birthday party" at John Doe's to which you will not contribute any money or even much effort? :confused:

I thought about this thread recently...

During my recent class reunion a friend who is married to a corporate mover and shaker had a party at her house. She invited the entire class (there were probably about 70 folks from my class there) and their significant other. Everyone was asking her what do you want me to bring, what can I bring, etc. and she was ADAMANT that we were not to bring a thing, she had everything covered. When we got there she had valet parking, a hired "greeter" at the door, servers passing the hor's d'eouvers (I can NEVER spell that word!), and a fully stocked bar with 2 bartenders!! I wondered if people ignored her saying don't bring anything and showed up with something anyway.

You know, that's a good point. If someone is "adamant" about you not bringing anything, or if it's clear that this will be a hosted and catered affair, rather than a casual dinner party, I will usually just bring myself or if I know the host pretty well, just some flowers/plant. Then I might follow-up with a thank you card later if I just brought myself.

You know I have been saying that I need to send her a thank you note. I need to get on that!

Perhaps your friend can give your former co-worker some lessons on how to host a party. :p :)

I may be alone on this one, but I usually don't bring anything unless I am asked to. It is usually known before hand if it is a pot-luck or something where you have to bring something. If not, I suppose I usually figure that the host or hostess knows what he or she is doing. I am planning a house warming so everyone knows to bring gifts, but I really really, really don't want anyone to bring food. That would just ruin my whole theme.....
Plus, what if it is nasty or makes someone sick???? How embarrassing would that be!!!!:(