GreekChat.com Forums - To Disaffiliate or Not To Disaffiliate

Hello All,

I am a current member of a multicultural sorority. It was all I was a part of during the majority of my undergrad. Being in the sorority was big part of my identity as well. In my experiences, I had a ton of hands-on experiences, but very little support from chapter alumnae (since the majority were not in the area anymore), financial struggles for expensive dues, a lot of chapter responsibilities, disagreements with our new member education, some chapter drama with members, problems with retention and getting girls interested in joining our sorority, and being overwhelmed with stress while I was being a student.

Now, after graduating, I feel like my sorority cannot do anything for me as a current alumna. The organization is so small that more work goes into it than was is being able to be taken out of it as someone who has always worked hard in the organization. Nationally, all positions are voluntary as well, since it cannot pay for its National/Regional members for a salary.

After reflecting back at my undergrad experiences, I feel that I was more stressed and busy with chapter responsibilities than actually enjoying my experience and being submersed in a memorable sisterhood.

I do not talk to any sisters or keep up with them anymore and no one reaches out to me. We were never really socially close with one another in undergrad, but knew how to run a chapter well and understood each other's expectations. Now, after seeing how my communication was never usually reciprocated, since I tried to do more reaching out as a junior/senior with my LSs (line sisters), I always ask myself, "Is this the sisterhood I signed up for?" Sometimes, I also ask myself, "Is this what is it like for most sisterhoods after undergrad?"

Moving forward, I have been interested in joining another multicultural sorority, because I had always felt that my sorority was more into social justice than exploring different cultures. I enjoy social justice, but I always wanted a multicultural experience where I could get to know and experiences other cultures. The majority of our organization is made up of African American individuals. Nothing is wrong with that, but I just never found a strong connection, as I am not of that background, and I rarely received any cultural experiences.

I have been interested in other multicultural sororities, such as Mu Sigma Upsilon & Theta Nu Xi, but I am not sure if my selfishness to have something better for myself is reasonable or if I just have to stick it out with my current organization and just hope things change for the better in the future.

To disaffiliate is a big deal and a lot of paperwork as well as returning my letters, but I am concerned that if I work in Greek Life in the future, that my opportunity in my current org would have meant more than if I were to pursue another organization. But, I feel like if I never disaffiliate, I would be forever connected to an organization that I cannot be proud of anymore. Sure, there were some positives here and there, but I do not know if I am able to access my true growth and potential in this organization as compared to another multicultural sorority.

I want to be proud of my organization. Currently not proud of excited to represent my org, because as someone that works in FSL, my organization does practices in their new membership education that I am trying to tell them may be indicative of hazing. I am trying to be patient with doing my part as an alumnae in the organization, but I do not feel comfortable being a part of an organization that does things they are not supposed to do. They also do not think what they are doing is wrong too, which frustrates me even more. But, I am still trying to at least do my part to convince them, but I do not know how much longer I can do this...

I want to be a part of an organization that I can help for the rest of my life, but I do not know what to do with all these thoughts & feelings moving forward...

Any thoughts, ideas, & suggestions are most appreciated. Thank you!