Quote:
|
I reminded girls who listed that second choice after pref and then got it on Bid Day that they are now unable to join any other sorority on campus for one year. So why not TRY for a little while at the second choice? I don't know the numbers, but I'm betting more girls get a sorority that wasn't their top choice than girls that get that top choice. And just about every time, they're perfectly happy in that second choice. Go with it. Keep in mind that building relationships is work and that no matter which choice you get, you'll have to work to bond. That's true of everyone and every true friendship-it's not limited to sororities. Give it your all and see what happens. You'll probably end up perfectly happy where you are.
|
wow! thanks for this bump! I will definitely remember this during recruitment!
|
Quote:
|
Great thread!
Quote:
You're bound to the sorority that bid you for one calendar year, i.e. until next year's formal recruitment. And, as others have pointed out, if you do decline your bid and rush again next year, you're likely to find your options much more limited. So there is really nothing to be lost by starting the new member program with your second/third choice sorority. You'll get to meet your pledge sisters, and you'll get to meet sisters you didn't have a chance to meet during FR. You can have a nice long chat with a sister, without having to shout to be heard, and with both of you knowing that she's not going to get bumped in a couple of minutes. As your initiation date approaches, you can make a more informed decision about whether to make that lifelong commitment. You have now spent several weeks getting to know the sisters and your pledge sisters - rather than just a few hours in the craziness of formal recruitment. Now ask yourself if you would really rather not be greek than initiate into this sorority - and if the answer is yes, then depledge. If you just tear up your bid card and run to your dorm room in tears, you may end up missing out on an awesome experience. |
A few more things:
1) A lot of women don't feel 100% at home until their sophomore year, when they actually move into the chapter house with their new sisters. This is totally normal. 2) On bid night, some chapters give girls something like a temporary big sis, with real bigs chosen later. If the girl paired with you on bid night is not the one you hoped for, it is not a reflection on you. The fact is, on the active side, some women are great rushers, and others are not. When we do the pairings, there are actives who know zero of the new women and we have to do our best to pair them with a new member based on something like major or common interest or something. This is often a very hectic process that takes place in a matter of minutes as we get ready for the NM's. 3) All sororities have formal, and barndance, and mixers, and everything else. All sororities get paired for events with frats that have some hot guys and some fugs. 4) Having friends in other chapters puts you in a great position for things like running for student government. Heck, just being greek makes other greeks more likely to vote for you. |
Also, I know I am not really in the place to be giving advice here since I DID get my first choice, but please don't say rude or condescending things to girls who got a bid to your first choice and are happy. It's not fair.
(One of my "friends" has been a real piece of work lately. She almost brought me to tears yesterday. Why? because I got into her first choice house while she got into a house she wasn't interested in but still put down on her bid card. She was accusing me of being disloyal to her and selfish. She was acting like I should de-pledge since she didn't get a bid and we're friends.) |
ummm...no you're not...friends I mean.
|
Yeah. Like they say, "with friends like that who needs enemies?" Real friends, despite their own disappointment, are happy for their friends who got a bid to their first choice.
|
bumping!
|
I ran across this statistic today looking for something else on our recent recruitment. I thought it might be worth sharing in this thread.
Number of PNMs Receiving 1st Choice 587 2nd Choice 56 The thing that I find fascinating while I read recruitment stories is that most of the time when women don't get their 1st choice I go back and read what they said about their 2nd choice. There are usually very positive things said about their second choice and the Chapter is usually ranked top 5 going into Preference. So maybe they are not their "real" second choice because that group that they ranked as "2" didn't invite them back so they are 3, 4 or 5 in their ranking. I think that these young women get so caught up in only wanting to be in their number one choice coupled with the fact that they don't think they will ever get their second or third choice (sort of the "this wont happen to me") that they have a hard time getting past the disappointment. |
Quote:
At my school, women preffed at 3 house, and I think it was more like 60% getting their first choice, 30% getting second choice, and 10% getting third choice. |
Great advice! Though I'm still a NM myself, I have something else to add:
Rush didn't go fantastically for me. Maybe it was my hair, maybe it was my make-up (or lack thereof - I am an advocate of a very natural look), maybe it was my conversational skills. Heck if I know, and heck if it matters. Houses keep you if they think you'd fit in. These ladies know. Take Rush with a grain of salt. It isn't a reflection on you, your personality, or your intelligence. It's speed dating to the maximum which, apparently, I'm not fantastic at. Anyhow, I adore the house that I picked (and who picked me!), so things really did (and do) work out for the best. I'm still settling in, but have found some remarkable women in my chapter that I can look up to and who have been kind enough to befriend and mentor me. Anyhow, I did get my top choice, we are a top house on campus, and I have met some good friends in my PC as well! I am very proud to represent this organization as a newly-initiated sister! |
Quote:
|
Quote:
My point is this: Despite all of those other houses dropping me, I did get my first choice which happened to be a house with a strong presence and substantial respect on-campus. No matter what happens, it happens for the best and I'm happy now. My intention wasn't to make a disappointed new member feel anything but what was realistic to feel from the Rush process - sometimes people like you and sometimes they don't. Houses drop you and sometimes they don't. Those that don't drop you are worth your time, energy, and effort because they want to invest the aforementioned things in you as well! Don't take the process personally. That's all. :) |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Another thing that is tough is when Suzie PNM down the hall gets into your first choice, and then you have to sit there and think "wow, what does she have that I don't?" Well, maybe she's a legacy or maybe she had a rec from the national president or maybe she just really clicked with her rusher.
Also, when you are thinking you are the only one who got their second choice: a few girls on my floor dropped out of rush or didn't accept their bids because their parents wouldn't let them continue on. In retrospect, it's pretty clear that they didn't get their top choices and were saving face. |
Quote:
(I have heard this very story at least 3 times in the last 10 years from fabulous girls.) |
So true carnation^^
This happened countless times when I was at UF. It broke my heart to see many girls dropped throughout recruitment that were really special girls. |
Quote:
A friend from another chapter came to me early on bid day my senior year and told me that she was pretty sure a friend of hers was going to get dropped from her chapter because of some stupid internal fighting. She knew my chapter was her second choice, and asked me to look out for her on bid day. |
Quote:
In all seriousness, if the girl turns out to be a good member who everyone likes, yeah, that sucks for the legacy, but maybe the other girl ultimately fit into the chapter better. I kind of doubt that people would destroy every bit of social currency they had pushing for a girl they knew wasn't a good fit. If you're a legacy and just hanging on by the skin of your teeth by pref, instead of feeling confident, maybe that just isn't the place for you. |
Dang, I would hope that sororities would have the decency to cut legacies who didn't fit before prefs and not string them on until then!
|
Quote:
On the flip side, at schools where you pref three chapters, if you list ABC then DEF, you could match to neither and end up in XYZ, where if you had listed DEF first, you would have matched there**. So sometimes the PNM's end up in their third choice because they aren't honest enough with themselves about where they belong. **NB: This is not an example of getting cross-cut. Cross-cutting is an urban legend that I'd be happy to explain elsewhere. |
Quote:
|
Bumping for summer so PNMs can read it.
|
I was looking for the "Like" button about this being bumped.:o I am so embarrassed.
|
Me, too. We need "like" buttons. For thumbs-up. Or something.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Computerized matching is a huge time saver but I think the methodology of bid matching was best learned by being there during hand matching. Essentially, they went through each PNM and called out the first choice. If she was on that group's first bid list, the person would say "Match" and everybody else would cross her off of their list. If she was on someone else's first list, then the first person on their second bid list would bump up to the first bid list. After all first choices were read off one time, they went through them again, to see if anybody had been bumped up to the first bid list for their first choice. This continued until there were no matches for first choices. Then second choices would start. So, DEF may have filled up with women who put them first before Suzy PNM's second choice came up. |
Quote:
Someone once explained the first bid list as a box. Once you get put in the box you don't get out of the box until you match somewhere. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Does computer matching use the exact same logic as hand matching? Or is it optimizing the number of matches overall? |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
So, in my prior example, I was incorrect. If quota is 10, and Polly PNM is 11, and Suzie PNM is 12 on the bid list, the spot will go to Polly over Suzie, even though this group is Suzie's first choice and Polly's 3rd. So Suzie gains nothing by listing this chapter as her #1, and Polly loses nothing by ranking them 3rd. |
Quote:
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:09 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.