Lavaliering Question
 

Hello!

I was just wondering how the whole lavaliering process goes...no one has ever been lavaliered at my school. My boyfriend is a DTD at a different school, so I don't know if that makes a difference...


Katie

I'm not sure there is a universal rule on this but when a sister gets lavaliered, it is traditional to hold a candle pass to reveal her good news to the chapter and to celebrate the event.

At my university, the corresponding male's fraternity used to give him a chiding for "giving his letters away." It usually came in the form of pouring a liquid beverage or some food on him at an unsuspecting moment. However, I think that might have just been my university. :) lol

We didn't have anyone lavaliered at my school either. I do know the candle pass tradition (if it stops on the first time around its a pinning/lavaliering and the second time around means an engagement). We also got told from out Field Consultant that if someone does want to do a candle pass, we should call an emergency meeting on that day. I told my sisters that if someone calls for an emergency meeting and its just someone geting engaged/pinned, I'll have to hurt someone (yeah, its big news but come on, and emergency meeting??!!!- keep in mind, we don't have a house. So it would be a HUGE process).

I don't think it makes a difference where your boyfriend is; its still a big event!! Just not emergency event style

Congrats!! I hope you stick around on GreekChat. Come introduce yourself on our Delta Roll Call thread!!!

At our school, the person who was lavaliered would tell our housemom and no one else. (You're supposed to keep it a secret.) Our housemom would decorate a candle with flowers and ribbons, and before our chapter meeting that Monday she would tell us that we had a candle pass. The girl who was lavaliered got to keep the candle as a memento, which I always thought was sweet.

The song we sang during lavalierings wasn't a Tri Delta song, so I'm wondering what other chapters sing.

Also, we've had a couple sisters get lavaliered at formal or at their boyfriend's fraternity's formal, so in that cases, obviously it wasn't a secret, but that's always cute too. Sometimes the boyfriend would make her come up in front of everyone and give her flowers before asking her.

At my chapter, we hold a candlelight when a girl gets lavaliered. She naturally keeps it a secret, except to tell someone that a ceremony is in order. As the candle goes around, we sing a song (I'm having a memory lapse right now as to what it is) and as it goes around once, the girl who received her boyfriend's letters will blow out the candle. If it goes around twice, that means the girl got "pearled" (meaning she received a piece of jewelry with pearls) by her boyfriend. Third time around, signifies an engagement.

It's tradition here at UK for the guy who gave up his letters to get "treed" for all the world to see. This simply means that his brothers tie him up to a tree, usually in front of his house, and throw various items of food at him. It can get quite messy!

At my school, we do a candle pass at the meeting on Mondays. First time around is a lavaliering, second time around is an engagement. :) I'm not sure what happens to the guys, but I think it depends on the fraternity.

at my school the sister puts a rose on the doorstep of our VP chapter development (if that's the one that's in charge of standards) and that is a way of secretly calling for a candle pass. at the end of the next chapter meeting, the VP chapter development announces the candle pass. all the lights get turned off and the candle gets lit by VPCD and passed and if it gets blown out on the first pass it's a lavalier, second pass it's engagement, and supposedly third pass means she's pregnant but we've never had that one before. While we're passsing the candle, we sing the mmm mmm my sisters song. it goes: mmm mmm my sisters mmm mmm my sisters couldn't get along without ya now. got along without ya before i met ya couldn't get along without ya know, we gave our hearts, and so can you, so you can be a delta sister too. and then it repeats for a while. that song is actually in the movie rushmore! i thought it was just a sorority thing, but it's not!

We sang "Let me call you sweetheart". 1 time around was lavaliering, twice engaged, third was married, 4th was pregnant. Still haven't seen one go 4 times yet.

We do things slightly differently. Whoever has news for the chapter tells the VPCD and the next chapter meeting, the VPCD announces that we are having a candle passing. We turn out the lights and sing "MM My Sisters" as the candle goes around. The girl with the news blows it out when it gets to her and tells us the story. Once is just special announcements (i.e. New Member's badges being in), twice is either lavaliere or pearl (we have a lot of girls that date unaffiliated guys, so we put those on equal footing), three is an engagement and four is a pregnancy. It's a ton of fun for all of us because we can never guess who has what news to tell!