HELP a clueless parent
 

Hi everyone. I am the parent of a PNM at Auburn. We are from New England with NO experience with sororities. My daughter always knew she wanted to go through recruitment but had no idea what was involved. She got sidetracked this summer with health issues and surgeries. Up until last week we thought she was going to defer her enrollment a year but lo and behold she got the last minute approval to attend school this year.

So she is all moved in and started recruitment today. She is having a blast.

At orientation (she was in the last group) they told the girls recommendations were not necessary and if a chapter likes them they will help them get the necessary recommendation. So my daughter didn't pursue recommendations. Now the girls in her recruitment group are telling her that if she doesn't have recs by the second day she will automatically be cut.

True?

I am so far away and the thought of her being released the first couple of days with nothing to do the rest of the time is worrying me.

I wish I found you all sooner!

It is true that some groups will release her as a result. It's hard to say which ones that might be.You never know who might have sent a rec on her or which groups may have been intrigued enough by her to search one out. She just simply needs at this point to put her best foot forward, be open to whatever groups invite her back and be grateful for any bid she may get.All the groups at Auburn are great and she will have a great experience in any of them.

They cannot tell the girls recs are necessary to go through recruitment, because they aren't. Recruitment is a Panhellenic event. Panhel has an entity has no idea of each sorority's individual policies as far as whether a rec is required to issue a girl a bid. I know that sounds convoluted, but think of Panhel as mall management and the sororities as individual stores. :)

Titchou is right, nothing she can do about it now but stay positive and have fun!

Auburn is a very difficult rush. I remember when rush was hard on me and I had cuts I wasn't prepared for because I knew nothing about the sororities. It's hard to do anything about it now but she really did need recs to get on the radar of the girls. What can you do now? If you are able to take the time and have the money I might go to her and be in town just in case she needs you. I have experienced this on two sides. My mom didn't know she would be wanted/needed at my bid day. I was the first greek ever in the family. I was SO GLAD SHE CAME- I was hurt by the end of the week. Why wasn't I good enough. I needed my mom to love on me. Even though it was only a few hours. I also have a good friend whose daughter is rushing at a southern school 7 hours from where we live. My friend and I both when to this southern school and then moved to Texas after school and became friends in texas. My friend is staying the entire rush week in a town very close to where her daughter is rushing just in case she needs her she can be there and she can be there on bid day. If you can do it- girls need their mommies!

@Lastminute greek-


Can you update us tomorrow????

Please? I have friends that are actives in the greek system and others that are active in my activities on the Auburn campus email me privately and I promise I will introduce you to some good support. tdpt76@gmail.com

Even though rush has started, you might quickly try to find some sorority women in your area who might write a rec for your daughter. It is last minute, you might not find but a few, but a few are better than none.

Ask your friends,relatives, neighbors, co-workers, church members, etc., and have them ask their relatives and friends. If your daughter knows classmates who joined sororities she could reach out to them. Some sororities allow the collegiate members to write recs.

Most sororities have an electronic version of their recommendation form, so it would be available to the respective Auburn chapter as soon as the Alum completed and submitted it. The alum may need to follow up with an email to the Chapter's recruitment advisor, to make sure that the chapter knows a rec has been received,

WARRRR EAGLE to you both!:)

LastMinuteGreek, we will all keep our respective fingers crossed for your daughter. PLEASE know that if it doesn't work out for her, there is PLENTY for her to get involved in at Auburn! Although the campus is heavily Greek, that is not the only thing to do.

Please do let us know how things go for her....

There really isn't anything to be done at this point in time, lastminutegreek. You can worry and fret (as we all would), but the die has been cast. She dove into a swimming pool and didn't realize she was in the Olympics. My advice:simply be there for her, let the chips fall where they will, and who knows - maybe she'll be the exception to the rule and everything will go swimmingly for her.

This is a life lesson, for sure. I'm more concerned about her health and her academics than about sorority membership, but I'm not 18 years old (thank GOD).

Wow! Thank you all for your advice! I am actually rearranging my schedule now to fly down there tomorrow and be available. She tells me the ended early today and her suite mates moms came by and spent time with their daughters. She also tells me that her recruitment counselor said there would be time for us to go to dinner between the bid day activities and the individual sorority evening events....so if she gets a bid I should be down there. Also, this way way, if she gets released, I can whisk her away so she doesn't have to sit on campus for another 4 days with nothing to do but watch all the girls in the know continue on with recruitment.

Love the line, "dove into the pool and found herself in the Olympics"!

She does LOVE Auburn U and has plans to join more than her fair share of organizations, a club team, a local church etc...so I am sure she will land on her feet but you are so right, a mom worries. And yes, as if going so far away from home weren't bad enough I have the health worries on top of it.

I wonder how she feels about scurrying around for last minute recs?

Do you all know if she is released this year, can she try again next year or has that ship sailed?

I will definitely let you all know what happens. Thanks again! A million times thanks!

Sophomore and juniors get bids. Often they spend freshman year getting involved in activities that have lots of sorority members in them so they're more comfortable in recruitment then!

^ Ha! Exactly what I told her to do but mom's don't know anything;)

But if she does recruitment and gets released, is she allowed to do it again or is it once released, released forever?

Just wondering....not even sure if she is released and gets involved in other things if she would even want to go back...just looking for something encouraging I could tell her if....

No. I know several girls who were bid by groups that had cut them the year before.

Check your private messages!

check your PMs lastminutegreek!!!

Well, I have landed and got the text. From what I can tell, I think the girls could have been invited back for up to 13 sororities and she only got 5. She said she is a little disappointed she didn't get invited back for three specific ones but that you can only join 1 so onward and upward! Focusing on the fact that now she has more relaxed days and can really concentrate on the few she has.

I think it helps that she knew nothing about any sororities and doesn't have preconceived notions about the "top" ones etc. She is just thrilled that some took the time to see past the missing recommendations.

I'll keep you all posted.

Thanks for the encouragement and support.