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-   -   What to tell overconfident PNMs (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=87932)

LAblondeGPhi 03-14-2014 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2265428)
One of my colleagues was telling me his daughter will be going to an SEC school with a notoriously tough recruitment. I asked if she was going to rush (as I would have offered to write a rec) and he said, "Yeah, she's going to be an XYZ". :eek:

I warned him that it wasn't that simple, and he explained that his mother was an XYZ, that he has a cousin in the XYZ National HQ, and that his daughter's BFF from HS has a sister who is an XYZ at this school. He said, "She has it locked down."

Well, OK then. I'll just mosey along...

Overconfident parents breed overconfident PNMs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2265526)
I was at a high school recently and overheard a student saying that she would be rushing at Auburn. I said, "Do you have your recommendations in line?" and she replied dismissively, "Oh, no. I'm a legacy to 7 sororities."

OK, chica. You're out-of-state, I bet you're not a true legacy to 7, and there are probably at least 800 drop-dead-gorgeous girls rushing and you are at the other end of that spectrum, I fear. I hope a sorority is looking for a PNM with a high GPA.

We should get GreekChat pamphlets printed to hand out to these folks. I'm thinking something with a snazzy title like "So You're Going Through Recruitment at an SEC School: Why You're Not a Special Snowflake and How You Can Avoid Total Heartbreak"

HQWest 03-14-2014 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnation (Post 2265526)
I was at a high school recently and overheard a student saying that she would be rushing at Auburn. I said, "Do you have your recommendations in line?" and she replied dismissively, "Oh, no. I'm a legacy to 7 sororities."

OK, chica. You're out-of-state, I bet you're not a true legacy to 7, and there are probably at least 800 drop-dead-gorgeous girls rushing and you are at the other end of that spectrum, I fear. I hope a sorority is looking for a PNM with a high GPA.

Maybe she has six older sisters and her mom was Greek? :confused:

carnation 03-14-2014 10:39 AM

Haha, sounds like when my 7th daughter rushed but she was only a legacy to 5 (4 of her sisters belonged to 2 sororities). I've heard this girl say that she only has a brother, though, and I'm betting she's counting cousins or aunts.

chi-o_cat 03-14-2014 11:32 AM

And it would depend on the organizations' legacy policies. Some include grandmothers; others don't. Then when you take into account step-mothers, step-sisters, etc.:

A PNM could have a mother, a step-mother, a (full) sister, step-sister, half-sister, and 2 grandmothers, each a member of a different sorority (assuming each relative falls under their respective org's legacy policy).

I'm not saying it's common, and probably not even very likely, but it's possible.

DeltaBetaBaby 03-14-2014 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chi-o_cat (Post 2265565)
And it would depend on the organizations' legacy policies. Some include grandmothers; others don't. Then when you take into account step-mothers, step-sisters, etc.:

A PNM could have a mother, a step-mother, a (full) sister, step-sister, half-sister, and 2 grandmothers, each a member of a different sorority (assuming each relative falls under their respective org's legacy policy).

I'm not saying it's common, and probably not even very likely, but it's possible.

Right, but I think it's FAR more common for PNM's to think they are a legacy through an aunt or a cousin.

AnchorAlumna 03-14-2014 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BraveMaroon (Post 2265428)
I warned him that it wasn't that simple, and he explained that his mother was an XYZ, that he has a cousin in the XYZ National HQ, and that his daughter's BFF from HS has a sister who is an XYZ at this school. He said, "She has it locked down."

Thing is, it IS possible. They key would be the BFF's sister currently in the chapter...the cousin at HQ couldn't hurt.
There's always a handful every year who don't bother with recs and still get bids to their top choices.
Doesn't happen nearly as often as it used to, but it does still happen.

ChioLu 03-14-2014 03:00 PM

I've had someone say something similiar to me. My response was, "Think about how devasted your daughter will be if your perfect scenario DOESN'T happen. If you were interviewing at 6 different companies and knew someone at every single company, would you NOT get a referral from every single person?"

If an overconfident PNM says this, I respond with "If you have a test in a very difficult class, would you NOT study??? Because at "fill in the blank SEC school", there are 1200 women going thru Recruitment who all think they are going to have the perfect recruitment. Like a tough test, if you don't prepare, you're going to FLUNK. Do you really want to flunk Recruitment when you probably only have ONE SHOT??? Do you want to go through 4 years of college without being Greek? If you have done all you can to have a great resume for college, do the same for Recruitment if you want to be Greek."
(And then I get off my soapbox.)

ConfettiCupcake 03-20-2014 12:09 AM

My cousin is a year younger than me and she is going to Alabama in the fall and is dead set on being in a sorority but is totally clueless and won't listen to anything I have to say because she says I have never been through recruitment on the sister side just as a pnm. I tried to remind her that SHE has not even been through as a pnm so I still think I have a little bit of awesome advice, but she just won't listen. This is going to be a disaster. She already has "favorites" and knows that she'll "find the perfect sorority". When I try to tell her about something called mutual selection she won't listen and thinks her middle of the pack grades will be fine.

This will be a slow-motion train wreck.

Sciencewoman 03-20-2014 12:15 AM

Is she getting recs at least?

AnchorAlumna 03-20-2014 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ConfettiCupcake (Post 2266277)
My cousin is a year younger than me and she is going to Alabama in the fall and is dead set on being in a sorority but is totally clueless and won't listen to anything I have to say because she says I have never been through recruitment on the sister side just as a pnm. I tried to remind her that SHE has not even been through as a pnm so I still think I have a little bit of awesome advice, but she just won't listen. This is going to be a disaster. She already has "favorites" and knows that she'll "find the perfect sorority". When I try to tell her about something called mutual selection she won't listen and thinks her middle of the pack grades will be fine.

This will be a slow-motion train wreck.

Did she go to preview weekend?
That's puzzling that she won't listen to you. I've found that PNMs listen a lot more closely to current college students than us silly ancient alumnae who know nothing of modern ways.

ConfettiCupcake 03-20-2014 07:34 AM

She did attend the preview weekend and I guess it went well. We don't do that at my school and I'm sort of glad because that is where she came up with her favorites. I didn't really have any preconceived notions about favorites when I went through recruitment and it seemed like it was easier that way (even though I would never call that week easy!!!)

My mom has talked to my aunt about the importance of recs and will probably end up helping my cousin make sure she has them. Mom also sent my aunt a copy of my resume so my cousin can use it as a template. I have sent her a link to this site to get more advice but she is one confident girl and I doubt she'll do much listening!

Now I see what you all go through trying to get people to listen for their own sake!!!

pinksequins 03-20-2014 08:41 AM

CC, as you alluded (trainwreck), there is a lot with your cousin over which you have no control. You kindly offered both your resume and your insights. All through life there will be relatives, friends and co-workers who will not heed advice and must learn the hard way. This may be one of them unfortunately. For your hip pocket, a good turn of phrase instead of "I told you so" is "I am not surprised".

Good luck to all the mentors!

AOII Angel 03-20-2014 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins (Post 2266296)
CC, as you alluded (trainwreck), there is a lot with your cousin over which you have no control. You kindly offered both your resume and your insights. All through life there will be relatives, friends and co-workers who will not heed advice and must learn the hard way. This may be one of them unfortunately. For your hip pocket, a good turn of phrase instead of "I told you so" is "I am not surprised".

Good luck to all the mentors!

I totally agree. This won't be the last time you know better but someone won't listen. My family actually calls me for medical advice for my ailing grandmother then doesn't take any of it. I'm the only physician in the family. It's frustrating, but they live in Louisiana and I live in CA. There isn't much I can do. Hope for the best.

AZTheta 03-20-2014 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins (Post 2266296)
For your hip pocket, a good turn of phrase instead of "I told you so" is "I am not surprised".

Thanks for this - I get a lot of pleasure out of saying "I told you so" inside my head, and I suspect it shows on my face. I shall practice "I am not surprised" with the appropriate intonation and facial expression.

pinksequins 03-20-2014 01:38 PM

I may have to be using it myself next week. : )

I have those thought clouds and the facial expressions too! But with practice, I have gotten a lot of mileage out of that little phrase (though inside I really want to say "SRSLY??!!").

: )

OldOleMiss 03-28-2014 02:48 PM

Groan- didn't know where else to share and this thread seemed appropriate enough-and need to vent--- a friend of mine contacted me about a month ago-- daughter will be a freshman at Alabama. She asked if I would write a rec. and give them some "recruitment advice"- this girl is not only OOS but northern OOS (NJ) AND has ZERO greek family connections-- of course I said I would be happy to help and told her what daughter needed to get me (and other writers) for the rec.

Friend JUST called me and after thanking me profusely for the offer to help told me that after preview weekend Daughter has been invited to SEVERAL teas- so she thinks they are ---direct quote "good to go on the whole rush thing"-- end quote.... :eek::eek::eek:OMG- can I just slap her?? I tried my best to explain to her that recs are still going to be needed, etc.. etc... but friend didn't want to hear any of it. I can only HOPE she comes to her senses soon or she is going to have one very upset daughter on her hands.... I talked until I was blue- and finally hung up with a "good luck, let me know if she changes her mind"-- UGH! some people just need to have sense slapped into them......

Lovethesand 03-28-2014 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss (Post 2267532)
Groan- didn't know where else to share and this thread seemed appropriate enough-and need to vent--- a friend of mine contacted me about a month ago-- daughter will be a freshman at Alabama. She asked if I would write a rec. and give them some "recruitment advice"- this girl is not only OOS but northern OOS (NJ) AND has ZERO greek family connections-- of course I said I would be happy to help and told her what daughter needed to get me (and other writers) for the rec.

Friend JUST called me and after thanking me profusely for the offer to help told me that after preview weekend Daughter has been invited to SEVERAL teas- so she thinks they are ---direct quote "good to go on the whole rush thing"-- end quote.... :eek::eek::eek:OMG- can I just slap her?? I tried my best to explain to her that recs are still going to be needed, etc.. etc... but friend didn't want to hear any of it. I can only HOPE she comes to her senses soon or she is going to have one very upset daughter on her hands.... I talked until I was blue- and finally hung up with a "good luck, let me know if she changes her mind"-- UGH! some people just need to have sense slapped into them......

As an OOS with no Greek family connections I can relate to your friend to some extent. You don't know the ins and outs and recruitment brochures and the schools can make it seem like you sign up, show up, and at the end you'll have a house. Add in the mix of getting invited to teas and you can think you're good to go. I probably would have thought Debbie was good to go too........... until I came across this site.

If you have a friend like yourself or stumble upon this site then you slowly start to learn what you thought you knew about the process greatly differs from reality. In addition, a Greek friend in a WA school may have a completely different perspective than a Greek friend in AL.

When my Debbie went through recruitment I tried to share with my husband the before, during, and after of recruitment. He just didn't get it. He especially didn't understand recs when everybody has to get them what then made them unique or special. I couldn't explain it either but told him she had to have them.

An outsider to the process can easily be led to believe by talking to a school's Panhellenic office that it's not that big a deal when you know that it's exactly the opposite. Sometimes it's easier to take the "official" word as gospel instead of a friend or someone in the know. Maybe after teas your friend will come back to you for more info once her daughter hears the other girls talk. Tea/pre-tent talk can open a lot of eyes in a good or bad way.

OldOleMiss 03-28-2014 03:23 PM

AWESOME perspective Lovethesand-- THANKS!!! I guess I have never thought of it from the point of view of an OOS / non-greek / non SEC parent / PNM. Being from the south and then going through SEC recruitment my perspective is definitely more skewed. You are right- they really don't have any idea. I have tried to steer them to this site, but it was clear from my recent conversation that they have not checked it out. I really do hope that the teas will open daughters eyes a little bit, I also casually mentioned it to another friend of ours who, while did not attend a competitive recruitment school, was in a sorority and knows the importance of recs... she is going to see if she can also slip into the conversation in the coming days how daughter is going to need much much more than just some cute outfits and a couple of tea invites. Like I said in my rant I really do pray that they come to their senses...

ASTalumna06 03-28-2014 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss (Post 2267532)
Groan- didn't know where else to share and this thread seemed appropriate enough-and need to vent--- a friend of mine contacted me about a month ago-- daughter will be a freshman at Alabama. She asked if I would write a rec. and give them some "recruitment advice"- this girl is not only OOS but northern OOS (NJ) AND has ZERO greek family connections-- of course I said I would be happy to help and told her what daughter needed to get me (and other writers) for the rec.

Friend JUST called me and after thanking me profusely for the offer to help told me that after preview weekend Daughter has been invited to SEVERAL teas- so she thinks they are ---direct quote "good to go on the whole rush thing"-- end quote.... :eek::eek::eek:OMG- can I just slap her?? I tried my best to explain to her that recs are still going to be needed, etc.. etc... but friend didn't want to hear any of it. I can only HOPE she comes to her senses soon or she is going to have one very upset daughter on her hands.... I talked until I was blue- and finally hung up with a "good luck, let me know if she changes her mind"-- UGH! some people just need to have sense slapped into them......

I just don't understand...

Even if you (general you) think that you have recruitment figured out and a bid in the bag, why not get recs as a fail-safe?

The company I work for now is where my mom works. Her boss was essentially the person who hired me. I had met him a few times prior to my interview, and we always had great conversations. He told me a year prior when I was still living in northwestern PA (the company's home office is in Jersey) that should I ever decide to move, he would have a job waiting for me.

Guess what I did when I was told I had an interview..... I sent in my resume, brought one with me to the interview, wore a full suit (even though I was told business casual), gave them 2 letters of recommendation, 3 references, and followed it up with a thank you letter.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.

AOIILisa 03-28-2014 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss (Post 2267538)
AWESOME perspective Lovethesand-- THANKS!!! I guess I have never thought of it from the point of view of an OOS / non-greek / non SEC parent / PNM. Being from the south and then going through SEC recruitment my perspective is definitely more skewed. You are right- they really don't have any idea. I have tried to steer them to this site, but it was clear from my recent conversation that they have not checked it out. I really do hope that the teas will open daughters eyes a little bit, I also casually mentioned it to another friend of ours who, while did not attend a competitive recruitment school, was in a sorority and knows the importance of recs... she is going to see if she can also slip into the conversation in the coming days how daughter is going to need much much more than just some cute outfits and a couple of tea invites. Like I said in my rant I really do pray that they come to their senses...

Yes, or even from the POV of northern greeks who aren't on this site. Before I came here, I wouldn't have known how different SEC rush is from anywhere else and would have probably been just as nonchalant about getting recs as your friend.

As a reference: my alumnae chapter was just reviewing its goals for the year and one of them was to write at least one MIF (our term for a rec). We wrote.. exactly one, for someone who was going to a big SEC school. (There was a collective sigh around the room over what the poor kid is going to experience going through recruitment there!). Penn State and all the other PA schools just don't use recs, for the most part. Yet I am sure there are other AOII alum chapters that write hundreds!

OldOleMiss 03-28-2014 04:34 PM

What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

Lovethesand 03-28-2014 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss (Post 2267547)
What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

I'm definitely like you - an over-preparer - while my Debbie isn't. Drives me absolutely crazy that she isn't and I'm sure it drives her crazy that I am.

I really think it goes back to you don't know what you don't know. I'm pretty sure once she gets to teas the other PNMs will open her eyes to SEC Greek reality.

OldOleMiss 03-28-2014 05:32 PM

I hope you are right love!! BTW I just finished reading Debbie's rush story and by far one of my faves!!!!

thetalady 03-28-2014 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss (Post 2267547)
What I can't understand though is like ASTalumna06 said- what does it hurt... why not line up the recs... I know the Ole Miss site specifically says on their website that recs are highly encouraged- and I have to imagine Alabama's says the same thing (???)-- so why not get them!!? I guess I am just an "over-preparer" but I always think "better safe than sorry" in any situation…

I think they don't bother with recs for a couple of reasons:

1. It is just SOOOOOO much work (done with that dismissive tone that teenagers excell at)

2. Special Snowflakes think the rules don't apply to them because they are just... so... SPECIAL

3. Teenagers seem to think that if you can't do it via Instagram or Snapchat, it is ancient and trivial.

Yes, I am being a bit snarky today. Latest run in with a couple of little twits used up all of my restraint.

pinksequins 03-28-2014 09:29 PM

ThetaLady-- correction to #2: SOOOOOO SPECIAL : )

thetalady 03-28-2014 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinksequins (Post 2267591)
ThetaLady-- correction to #2: SOOOOOO SPECIAL : )

I agree SOOOOOO completely, Pinksequins! :D

DeltaBetaBaby 03-29-2014 04:15 AM

But keep in mind, too, that northerners might be getting "WTF, you don't need that" responses from alumnae who they ask.

HQWest 03-29-2014 08:44 AM

Maybe the thing to explain then is "you wanted to go to Alabama to do sonething different right? It is really different! To do your best and have the most choices -you NEED recs there"
I would say that for most SEC schools

als463 03-29-2014 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AOIILisa (Post 2267543)
Yes, or even from the POV of northern greeks who aren't on this site. Before I came here, I wouldn't have known how different SEC rush is from anywhere else and would have probably been just as nonchalant about getting recs as your friend.

As a reference: my alumnae chapter was just reviewing its goals for the year and one of them was to write at least one MIF (our term for a rec). We wrote.. exactly one, for someone who was going to a big SEC school. (There was a collective sigh around the room over what the poor kid is going to experience going through recruitment there!). Penn State and all the other PA schools just don't use recs, for the most part. Yet I am sure there are other AOII alum chapters that write hundreds!

I bolded what you said because it's a great point! I write recs for girls going through schools now as an involved alumna and a few of my girls have gone Phi Mu. I'll never forget when I was in college and we had a southern girl going through recruitment. We got a rec for her. Since I had never seen them used in recruitment, I thought it was a sign she really-really-really wanted to be a Phi Mu. I remember thinking, "Wow. This girl really wants to join our chapter. She even sent a headshot and a resume. She must really have her heart set on Phi Mu." I didn't know any better that this was common practice down south.

HQWest 03-29-2014 08:51 AM

Maybe the thing to explain then is "you wanted to go to Alabama to do sonething different right? It is really different! To do your best and have the most choices -you NEED recs there"
I would say that for most SEC schools

KDCat 03-29-2014 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 (Post 2267539)
I just don't understand...

Even if you (general you) think that you have recruitment figured out and a bid in the bag, why not get recs as a fail-safe?

The company I work for now is where my mom works. Her boss was essentially the person who hired me. I had met him a few times prior to my interview, and we always had great conversations. He told me a year prior when I was still living in northwestern PA (the company's home office is in Jersey) that should I ever decide to move, he would have a job waiting for me.

Guess what I did when I was told I had an interview..... I sent in my resume, brought one with me to the interview, wore a full suit (even though I was told business casual), gave them 2 letters of recommendation, 3 references, and followed it up with a thank you letter.

Nothing in life is guaranteed.

By jumping through the hoops, you show them that you take the opportunity seriously and are willing to do what it takes to get the job.

Recruitment is the same way. Even if you have strong connections to a chapter, you want the whole chapter to know that you take the opportunity to join them seriously. If you don't, there is a strong chance that people in the house are going to look at you and say "Y'all, I just don't think she cares that much about us. She didn't even bother to get a rec for us. She's not serious about joining XYZ. We should let her go because she is going to drop us. There are other women who are serious about XYZ who we need to focus on."

KDCat 03-29-2014 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HQWest (Post 2267631)
Maybe the thing to explain then is "you wanted to go to Alabama to do sonething different right? It is really different! To do your best and have the most choices -you NEED recs there"
I would say that for most SEC schools

After you say that maybe you could send them some SEC links from this site.

OldOleMiss 03-29-2014 09:58 AM

oh Thetalady I sooooooo needed that snark this morning!!!! Too wonderful!!!:D


als463 I am in tears laughing thinking about southern girl coming through Pen Recruitment and ya'll looking at her rec wondering what to do with it-- again another wonderful perspective story on how it must be just as "fish out of water" for a southerner to come up north and rush as a northerner going down south to rush…

KDCat-- THIS!!! Y'all, I just don't think she cares that much about us. She didn't even bother to get a rec for us. She's not serious about joining XYZ. We should let her go because she is going to drop us. There are other women who are serious about XYZ who we need to focus on." This is wonderful!!!! and I think this is what I will pass along to friend after daughter goes to the teas--- "IF she likes them get her a rec to show them"---

Thanks everyone for chiming in on my "vent"--- you've made me more calm over the "situation" of special snowflake!

pinksequins 03-29-2014 10:34 AM

Great posts! Maybe we should call overconfident PNMs snooooowflakes. : D

iamamom 03-29-2014 10:44 AM

I want to throw my .02 in as my mid-atlantic daughter is going to an sec in the fall. Most of the women she's gotten to do her rec's had no idea about needing these forms filled out. She had packets made, printed off the recs, or sent links if they had to send them directly. I'd say she educated them on the process, not the other way around. Everyone has been flabbergasted by her resume, pictures, transcript, addressed envelope, etc whereas I see here is probably nothing compared to some of these southern girls packages.

If I didn't happen upon this site we wouldn't have known to do this. The information on the schools website and the information they provide tell a much different story than the reality.

DeltaBetaBaby 03-29-2014 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iamamom (Post 2267658)
If I didn't happen upon this site we wouldn't have known to do this. The information on the schools website and the information they provide tell a much different story than the reality.

YUP. This is something we've discussed here before, and it appears some schools' GL offices are finally telling it straight.

As a northern example, though, my mom never sent a legacy introduction to her chapter. She just didn't know that she needed to do that. I had written in my recruitment registration form, so the chapter would know, right?

Obviously, PNM's should listen to SEC-familiar alumnae who tell them to get recs, but I could pretty easily imagine one of them being told "Oh, I've never heard of that, XYZ must not do it."

LAblondeGPhi 03-29-2014 12:58 PM

I'm surprised there isn't a guidebook or something published by the NPC or individual orgs. There aren't even that many self-published things on Amazon.

Some people will only take advice they get from "official" sources, like school panhellenic websites, and even then will tend to believe what they want. I think part of it is that we live in an age when people have a tendency to not believe information they can't verify from a written or official source.

With the resources and women we have on this site, you all could publish a yearly guide to recruitment. Then point the OCPNMs in the direction of some written gospel and then get out of their way. Proceeds to go to GreekChat, of course.

AnchorAlumna 03-29-2014 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldOleMiss (Post 2267642)
Y'all, I just don't think she cares that much about us. She didn't even bother to get a rec for us. She's not serious about joining XYZ. We should let her go because she is going to drop us. There are other women who are serious about XYZ who we need to focus on."

This is EXACTLY what we said about a LOT of PNMs last year at Alabama. Also, we would get general inquiries from girls in, say, the Chicago area, or even Atlanta, saying they couldn't find anybody to write a rec. And I'd look at that and think, "Sugar, you didn't even TRY. There are DGs all over the place there!"

What upsets me is that having a rec is a requirement of membership. Why are chapters ignoring this? This is a case of having it set out in front of you on paper, and maintaining willful ignorance.

I do sympathize with PNMs and moms who don't make the effort. It IS a lot of work, and for introverts like me, very much getting out of the comfort zone to go out and talk to women and ask. It's already hard enough to prepare for going off to college. If you can make things simpler, I'd go for that.

DubaiSis 03-29-2014 02:37 PM

To be clear, it is a requirement of membership for DG, and some others. It is not a requirement for membership in Alpha Xi Delta and some others. Because we aren't very well represented in many of those super competitive absolutely must have a rec schools, I don't know if our policies would vary there. But I would still say that a girl going through rush at one of those schools who doesn't have a rec would turn me cold, for the reasons mentioned above unless she's from Alaska or somewhere getting a rec might be an actual difficulty. You should AT LEAST be able to come up with the generic panhellenic rec.

33girl 03-29-2014 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna (Post 2267693)

Whatupsets me is that having a rec is a requirement of membership. Why are chapters ignoring this? This is a case of having it set out in front of you on paper, and maintaining willful ignorance.

.

But does DG explicitly say that on its national or chapter websites? And is a rec a requirement for receiving a bid, or for being initiated?

There's a DG chapter at IUP and there is absolutely NWIH that every girl who gets a bid there has a rec - that is, a rec that the rushee went out and solicited.


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