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-   -   Indiana University Recruitment 2020 (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=246778)

FSUZeta 01-20-2020 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBH (Post 2472849)
On the FB page, one PNM didn’t get any houses back for pref, the mom posted that an active sent her a note after a round that said they really liked her implying that she would be invited back. It sounded like the PNM was being told she’d be invited back and then was cut.

Anyone can join the FB group, just send the request to the admin.

That is dirty rushing. I would encourage your daughter to think about turning that chapter in.

ivyrose2 01-20-2020 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PNMmom18 (Post 2472824)
Right no invitation to preference, I am sorry I must have worded it wrong. Still I thought that was impossible?

I'm not an expert on this by far, but seems to me like it would be very difficult to end up with no parties at the end when there are houses that are struggling to make quota, IF you are listing EVERY house you are invited back to EACH time. I would think it is more likely that the PMN with no houses at the end chose to list only certain houses at some point (which, I would think, her rho gam would advise against). I am also thinking that a PMN who actually maximized options at every round would be helped by her rho gam at this point to be available for a snap bid if she was open to it? Of course, I am not talking about someone who may have been eliminated due to negative behavior, making negative comments about houses, or a rush infraction.

80sHoosier 01-20-2020 09:03 AM

I think it is possible to end up with no invites to preference. One way would be to be released by every sorority. Based on what my daughter knew of other's invites two years ago when she went through, I'd say this does not happen often. It seemed like the PNM's in her group at least had one of the two chapters back that are lower performing in formal recruitment. But I'm sure there are some PNMs that get released by every sorority.

But another way it could happen is if after the open house round the PNM ranks these sororities last, ends up with a full plate of 16 sororities back which excludes say the 3 or 4 weakest recruiting sororities. However, over the course of philanthropy and sisterhood, this PNM gets released by all the other sororities she had at 16. No invites left for Preference.

ivyrose2 01-20-2020 09:12 AM

If someone was a "faithful PMN" would the system assist her to make herself open to a snap bid? Again, assuming there are still chapters out there who are not making quota at the end of recruitment.

33girl 01-20-2020 09:27 AM

She’ll be on the list of women who have not received bids, yes.

While there is a quota, there is still no chapter total, so if a chapter had approval from its HQ to take quota +200, they could. Obviously this won’t happen, but just pointing out that IU is still not running rush the way they should be.

IUmom20 01-20-2020 09:42 AM

I thought the same thing about was it even possible to be dropped by all? My daughter said her rho gam explained it. Yes, if you only got back well established houses during 9 round, and none of the newer houses who struggle a bit more, then it’s possible to be cit by all. I’m devastated for those girls and their moms. I can’t imagine. My daughter’s recruitment has been difficult, but at least her preference round included two of the newer chapters on campus and one that she feels will be a great fit. It only takes one. And these poor girls don’t even have that option. My heart breaks for the all

80sHoosier 01-20-2020 09:57 AM

This almost happened to me back in the 80s. I returned to all but one of my top choices between 18 and 12, so I had eliminated 5 of the weaker sororities. By the time I got to Preference, I only had 1 invite, but luckily one I was very happy with and received a bid. But I could have easily received no invites. This was much more common back in the 80s. With RFM, it is supposed to push you down more quickly to chapters that are realistic for the PNM. But I'm sure sometimes the numbers just don't work out right.

carnation 01-20-2020 10:20 AM

That has happened to several women we know who rushed at SEC schools. They said that had they known it was a possibility, they would have ranked several "middle" chapters that they liked up at the top instead of choosing all campus powerhouses.

IndianaSigKap 01-20-2020 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 80sHoosier (Post 2472853)
But another way it could happen is if after the open house round the PNM ranks these sororities last, ends up with a full plate of 16 sororities back which excludes say the 3 or 4 weakest recruiting sororities. However, over the course of philanthropy and sisterhood, this PNM gets released by all the other sororities she had at 16. No invites left for Preference.

This is exactly what happens. A PNM ranks the stereotypical "top" 16 chapters, gets them back and does the same thing each round until preference when she receives no invitations back. This happened to a girl in my dorm when I went through. She ended up picking up an informal bid about two weeks after bid day to a very solid middle chapter she ranked low after first invitational. A girl from her hometown helped her out when a pledge dropped out due to finances and made a last minute spot available.

IUMomof2 01-20-2020 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap (Post 2472861)
This is exactly what happens. A PNM ranks the stereotypical "top" 16 chapters, gets them back and does the same thing each round until preference when she receives no invitations back. This happened to a girl in my dorm when I went through. She ended up picking up an informal bid about two weeks after bid day to a very solid middle chapter she ranked low after first invitational. A girl from her hometown helped her out when a pledge dropped out due to finances and made a last minute spot available.

I'm really struggling with the desire to post something on the FB page regarding this, at least, something touching on this. There are several parents posting about their daughters going single intentional preference after preference night. And they are using phrases like "my daughter just didn't feel a connection at the other houses," or "she got cut from all her top choices." Well, that means that if they don't get a bid, it's because they completely discounted the chapters that DID ask them back.

I'm speaking from experience, because last year my dd was cut from all but 2 chapters after 2nd round. She was devastated and dropped. And it wasn't that she wasn't willing to consider the 2 chapters, it's really that after being told that all but 20 chapters didn't want her (including 2 legacies), it was just too much for her to pull herself together and go to those two chapters for sisterhood round. I supported her decision.

The next week, she was offered two snap bids, one from each chapter that had originally invited her back for sisterhood rounds. She and I talked about it quite a bit. There was one chapter that throughout the process she never felt connected to, although she thought the women were nice enough. The other one, she realized, she really liked the women and the "atmosphere" of the group. But they were the one unhoused chapter at the time. At to be fair, I think the majority of the PNMs see themselves living in a sorority house as part of their sorority experience. I think that's reasonable, especially given that's the norm at IU. However, once she had time to reflect and think about why she had gone through rush in the first place, she decided to give this chapter a chance. She accepted her bid and was able to participate in bid night.

All this to say, I think a lot of parents of current PNMs might have an unrealistic expectation of what their daughters' choices are actually going to be if they dropped, or SIPed because they didn't like their invites. In all honesty, the chapters that offer snap bids or participate in informal spring recruitment, are most likely going to be the chapters that they "didn't feel a connection to." I mean seriously, if you low ball the numbers, you are looking at about 1100 spots available (rough estimate based on 50 PNMs in a pledge class for 22 chapters). I saw somewhere that 1800 women rushed this year? So how will there be 2-3 chapters that don't make quota?

I've heard people refer to some of these chapters as "being willing to take anyone." First of all, not true. Secondly, if the game being played is "I want to be in an exclusive chapter," then sadly, someone has to be on the losing end of that. My daughter likes the idea of how accepting her sisters of all women who come through the doors. And that's not to put down ANY of the other chapters. They are not responsible for women choosing to drop if they can't make it a certain chapter. But when it comes down to it, the price of exclusivity is sometimes you're the one excluded, and that never feels good.

I just hope that the PNMs that don't find a home during formal rush give some of the other often overlooked chapters a chance. There are some AMAZING women doing AMAZING things there.

ivyrose2 01-20-2020 12:05 PM

Good to hear that there are some from this thread that are also in the FB group. Hopefully, the information on that site was not biased and was supportive of the process and encouraging to the PMN's. Sometimes you just have to hear "It's going to be OK-continue on!" "There is a larger greek community out there and we all come from different groups but we are all sisters in the Panhellenic process!!"

I am also curious as to how the FB group was promoted and advertised, as so many parents ended up there. Again, hoping the information was not biased. This forum is open, moderated by several, and a mixture of greek members from different organizations.

ForeverRoses 01-20-2020 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IUMomof2 (Post 2472862)
I'm really struggling with the desire to post something on the FB page regarding this, at least, something touching on this. There are several parents posting about their daughters going single intentional preference after preference night. And they are using phrases like "my daughter just didn't feel a connection at the other houses," or "she got cut from all her top choices." Well, that means that if they don't get a bid, it's because they completely discounted the chapters that DID ask them back.

I'm speaking from experience, because last year my dd was cut from all but 2 chapters after 2nd round. She was devastated and dropped. And it wasn't that she wasn't willing to consider the 2 chapters, it's really that after being told that all but 20 chapters didn't want her (including 2 legacies), it was just too much for her to pull herself together and go to those two chapters for sisterhood round. I supported her decision.

The next week, she was offered two snap bids, one from each chapter that had originally invited her back for sisterhood rounds. She and I talked about it quite a bit. There was one chapter that throughout the process she never felt connected to, although she thought the women were nice enough. The other one, she realized, she really liked the women and the "atmosphere" of the group. But they were the one unhoused chapter at the time. At to be fair, I think the majority of the PNMs see themselves living in a sorority house as part of their sorority experience. I think that's reasonable, especially given that's the norm at IU. However, once she had time to reflect and think about why she had gone through rush in the first place, she decided to give this chapter a chance. She accepted her bid and was able to participate in bid night.

All this to say, I think a lot of parents of current PNMs might have an unrealistic expectation of what their daughters' choices are actually going to be if they dropped, or SIPed because they didn't like their invites. In all honesty, the chapters that offer snap bids or participate in informal spring recruitment, are most likely going to be the chapters that they "didn't feel a connection to." I mean seriously, if you low ball the numbers, you are looking at about 1100 spots available (rough estimate based on 50 PNMs in a pledge class for 22 chapters). I saw somewhere that 1800 women rushed this year? So how will there be 2-3 chapters that don't make quota?

I've heard people refer to some of these chapters as "being willing to take anyone." First of all, not true. Secondly, if the game being played is "I want to be in an exclusive chapter," then sadly, someone has to be on the losing end of that. My daughter likes the idea of how accepting her sisters of all women who come through the doors. And that's not to put down ANY of the other chapters. They are not responsible for women choosing to drop if they can't make it a certain chapter. But when it comes down to it, the price of exclusivity is sometimes you're the one excluded, and that never feels good.

I just hope that the PNMs that don't find a home during formal rush give some of the other often overlooked chapters a chance. There are some AMAZING women doing AMAZING things there.

Please do and I’ll second it!!

IndianaSigKap 01-20-2020 12:40 PM

IUMomof2 your daughter has a good head on her shoulders. You should be very proud.

I agree that you should post on that FB page and let parents know there is another way to handle things. From what I understand many of the parents on that page were not Greek or were Greek somewhere else, so it is hard for the to understand what is really going on in Bloomington.

I go to several sporting events each year and when we tailgate, I always look around and notice the sorority women around us. Most of the time, they are nice girls just enjoying a nice Saturday afternoon. The rare few occasions I witness the contrary. I make a mental note. Over the last couple of years, I have met some really sweet girls in over half of the chapters. I can honestly tell parents and PNMs that there are beautiful, intelligent, kind, accomplished women in every chapter on campus. I know that other site would like to tell you otherwise, but I know what I see.

IUmom20 01-20-2020 01:18 PM

The parents IU page referred people to the Sorority and Fraternity fb page anytime a question was posted. So that’s where we went to ask questions and it was related to IU. This page intimidated me at first, It’s not really user friendly and it’s difficult to find info specific to IU. I’m still not sure I’m using it correctly. I keep just using quick reply. So I get why they are all on Facebook.

All the parents on the FB page have been posting encouraging comments about informal, but i know for a fact that the information about trusting the process and giving all the chapters a chance is already out there. I think they just chose to ignore it. I have been stalking and researching IU sorority recruitment for months and I can’t think of a single resource where I didn’t read that exact statement.

IUmom20 01-20-2020 01:33 PM

Oh and if you are brave enough to post on the Facebook page, could you please include that EVERY chapter at IU has a strong nationals. There isn’t a single chapter that is weak or undeserving.


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