Besides... A lot can happen between first round and pref night... you may end up loving a sorority that you thought you were going to hate and vice versa.:)

CarolinaDG
 

I tried to private message or email you to ask, but it said your mailbox was full. Where in South Carolina are you? I just moved to South Carolina from Georgia and was curious. Email me if you see this: Kristi_Ann81@yahoo.com.

Kristi

I know some have already been covered, but here's my two cents...

*DON'T dress provocatively. You're going through sorority recruitment, not clubbing. ;)
*DON'T wear perfume. At least at my school, you're packed in fairly small rooms with lots of other people. If everyone is wearing perfume, it can get a bit overwhelming.
*DON'T discuss how much you want to hang out with fraternity guys, get drunk, etc. It makes the rusher wonder what your motivation in joining a sorority really is.
*DON'T talk about having a rec.

*DO show interest. Real interest, not faked. :) Boredom shows.
*DO BE YOURSELF!!!
*DO have fun!!

Thanks for all the insight! I deal a lot with guys for a team I work for (honeychile would know...yes honey...I'm working for them now...hello nate! ;)), so I tend to talk about them a lot. I guess I should steer from that a little. I'm thinking of starting a new thread to answer some more of my questions.

Welcome back USChica! We've miss you!

Why thank ya dahling!:)

I agree with most everything that has been said so far. I was told during recruiment on both sides not to talk about the 3 Bs: Boys, Boos and Bible...stay away from talking about guys, drinking and drugs along with religion. Also stay away from topics where you could get very defensive about your point of view as you want to be open to what the sisters have to say.
Good things to talk about are questions about that particular sorority, ask questions about the school and activities beyond Greek Life too.
Wear comfortable shoes too - no one is concerned with what you are wearing so just be comfortable but appropriate for that round. Your Pi Chi / Rho Chi should be able to tell you if something is appropriate to wear or not.

If someone asks on the third day "Do you remember talking to me?" just say yes.

On about the 3rd day, I was so tired and had so many names and faces running through my head, and a girl I had talked to on the 1st day ask me that. I didn't think about it and just automatically said "no, I don't think so!" I wasn't trying to be mean, I didn't mean to say it. But anyone who has been through recruitment knows that after you meet a bunch of different sorority girls, by the end of the week everything becomes cluttered.

I felt awful about it, and unfortuantly I was cut the next day. I don't really blame them. My feelings would have been hurt if I was that girl.

Ah well.

Something I do when it is important that I remember names of people I meet after activities: (I work with freshmen and transfers for another campus org, and I meet LOTS of people)
As soon as you can, write the person's name, one thing that you talked about, and a couple of physical characteristics (long curly blond hair, freckles). This usually helps me. I hope I have time to do this during rush...

DO be polite and courteous. You are a guest in their house.

DO find something in common with the person you are talking to.

DO find time to learn about the person you are talking to and her sorority, and DO make sure to toot your own horn so she knows all about your 4.0 GPA, the time you met Justin Timberlake, your major/hometown, and your community service experiences. Ok, maybe she won't care about your casual run-in with Justin. And maybe some GC'ers are rolling their eyes-- but the point is-- every PM coming in has a high GPA, community service, looks her best and wants to join-- what is YOUR narrative hook? Did you dance for royalty, travel the world, found a student organization or cure cancer? There is something memorable wonderful and special about you-- your mom has been telling you for years how great you are-- believe it! Give the sororities a (true) story so they remember who you are--- there are a million Jennifers and Amys going through recruitment. But I am sure there is only one Amy at your school who was captain of a nationally ranked FILL IN THE BLANK group who won FILL IN THE BLANK.

DO remember: You are rushing to make friends--- if the conversation is dull and you are really reaching... well, it's no skin off your back to cut or be cut-- you are saving yourself from 4 years of having nothing in common with your collegiate chapter (and by then you'll be too resentful to want to enjoy the benefits of alumnae membership!)

DON'T Rush to join the "top house," whatever that means. Rush to make friends!!! When you click with a chapter, you will know it is meant to be. And a chapter is only as strong as the friendships and cooperation of its members-- so when your recruitment counselor tells you to follow your heart in selecting your bid, it isn't a canned answer at all!

Good luck to all of our PM's!

Standing ovation!!! Excellent post with timeless suggestions.

meridionaleDG, shame on that active who put you on the spot!

Drinking
 

Reading through this thread, I've noticed lots of advice to stay away from talk about drinking during recruitment. My daughter and I were talking about the drinking aspect of sorority life last night. She's a pretty, bright, well-rounded kid (but I'm biased) who, up until now has had no interest in drinking. However, there are a lot of aspects of Greek Life that appeal to her. She doesn't want to end up in a house where she'll feel like an outcast because she doesn't drink. How would you all suggest she approach figuring out whether or not this would be the case? I've suggested she bring the question up with her Recruitment Advisor. Did anyone here have similar concerns?

(She's going to a large state school that doesn't have a reputation as a real party school. My understanding is that, while some girls don't get bids, sorority recruitment at this school is not really cut throat.)

momoftwo: While you'll find many people in Greek Life drink, you'll also find that many don't. My chapter had quite a few girls who didn't do the whole party scene, didn't drink at all or didn't drink much, etc. and there's not a problem with that! At least there wasn't in my sorority. I would think that her sisters would respect her decision and respect her enough as a sister to not make her feel like an outcast.

MSKKG! I agree, GREAT post, adpiucf! I really like how you summed it up-
"DON'T Rush to join the "top house," whatever that means. Rush to make friends!!! When you click with a chapter, you will know it is meant to be. And a chapter is only as strong as the friendships and cooperation of its members-- so when your recruitment counselor tells you to follow your heart in selecting your bid, it isn't a canned answer at all!

Good luck to all of our PM's!"

Re: Drinking
 

Momoftwo, I have dealt with this too. My oldest was terrified of feeling like an outcast since she doesn't drink either. Luckily, she hasn't felt like one yet and she's now a college senior.

BlazerCheer doesn't drink either and hopes to find a sorority home where no one will be mean enough to give her grief because she doesn't. We finally decided that she shouldn't bring it up because during rush, members aren't going to admit that they drink or bother people who don't.

One alum told me that she figured out where drinking wasn't a big deal by looking at the various groups' party pictures. That's a good idea--most GLOS' scrapbooks and displays practically advertise how they have fun.

So...about the best my husband and I can do is train our daughters to be tough about resisting peer pressure. Whether or not they go Greek, there will always be other college students who will try to get them to drink.

adpiucf, justamom, carnation, and all the other alum here - you gals are awesome! Keep the advice coming!

Same top all of you wonderful actives who are helping us PNMs prepare. You are all wonderful representatives of your orgs!

The best advice I got during recruitment was to appear interested in what each girl is saying and to smile and get excited over skits. Also make sure to show emotion when it's appropriate! Don't be fake but when you're at party #5 out of 6 you will be tired and you might not appear to be enjoying things as much as you actually are. Be genuine and sincere with feelings, especially since you might be crying on pref night (I was as a PNM!).

The girls in each chapter have put a lot of work into their skits and just recruitment in general and even if they aren't 100% awesome you should still act like you are interested. It takes a lot of guts to get up and sing and dance for hundreds of girls that you don't know! :D

Jess

To our PNMS,

I love coming on GC and reading through the posts. The Recruitment Forum is definintely of interest to me, because our new members are the life blood of our organizations: you!

Some things to keep in mind-- you can severely analyze the recruitment process to death, but when it comes down to it: this is a mutual selection process. Just as every sorority has their mathetmatical/scientific/slightly qualitative nonbiased method of selection, every PNM has her own method for determining if she likes a sorority. Maybe it's the friendly faces who greet you as you enter the party, or their impressive awards, the fraternity socials they have to offer, maybe its their high GPA, their philantrhopy, their colors or you are attracted to the "status." (!) Whatever the reason, you have your own methods when you choose the houses, too.

Keep in mind: the women on "the other side"-- those sorority sisters-- they are SOOOO nervous! Yes! In some cases, more nervous than you. They have their off-days (I'll never forget a woman from my chapter introducing herself to a PNM as, "Hi I'm Brie-- you, know, like the cheese!" You get the picture!) All summer, the sorority women are pouring over your recruitment applications, trying to get an idea of who is coming through. Some of us meet someone and develop a "rush crush," and believe me, if you cut their chapter or you are cut from their chapter, they are devastated. They cry.
They are just as stressed as you. I just want you to know that NO ONE has an upper hand in this process-- so don't feel anyone has an advantage over you.

There are some great books out there, some really old ones, too (LOL)-- about sorority/fraternity recruitment, the art of interviewing, the art of conversation, etc. Of course it is helpful to read those, just as it is helpful to read these boards, talk to your campus Greek Life office, and review the websites or literature available regarding the GLO's on your campus.

Recruitment is a lot like business networking and interviewing for a job. You meet tons of people, shake hands and mutually, you must decide if this is the right place for you.

First impressions DO count. It's not a matter of being superficial. You should strive all your life to be something better than who you are today. You don't have to be a pencil-thin blonde beauty queen who has worked overseas in pursuit of world peace. But looking your personal best, listening and asking thoughtful questions, finding a common bond with the person you are speaking to and tooting your own accomplishments will get you far, both in recruitment and in life.

One thing you should not compromise or change: who you really are. I do say be your personal best, but don't be anyone but yourself. Doing anything less is only cheating yourself. If the formal recruitment process is not something that you feel is working for you, informal recruitments are just around the corner. If you get cut from a house you like, its not the end of the world. And as we say in Greek Life, "Everything happens for a reason." I like to reference one of my best friends, who went through a sorority colonization, hoping to be a founding sister of XYZ. She got cut right before their preference ceremony and was so upset. The following fall, however, she decided, she really wanted to try fall recruitment... she ended up getting a bid to XYZ and became a member of their very first new member class! :)

Everything works out in the end. So have faith in yourself, and faith in the Greek System. We at GC are all rooting for your to find your home as a Panhellenic Sister :) We can't wait to see what lies in store! So remember, and I can't say this enough-- be true to yourself. Your "Sisters" will see this.

Re: Re: Drinking
 

Thanks for the advice, and the personal experience.

I think concern over fitting in is my daughter's biggest fear about going away to school. We moved when she was in fourth grade and she was miserable for almost a year until she clicked with some girls who are still her close friends. She was kind of shy in unfamiliar situations--and is pretty bright--so her new classmates thought she was "stuck up" about being smart. She's really a very down to earth person. Fourth and fifth graders are so kind and understanding! It's funny how those painful moments of our lives come back...

I keep telling her to be herself and she'll be fine. Thanks for confirming that for me!

bump

Oh yes I have one word of advice (literally)

DISCRETION!

Or as R Kelly would say: "keep it on the down low"

Bump, especially for Jill's last post.

Excitement about a particular sorority is wonderful - but keep it to yourself. Some chapters may love it, but some chapters may not - and by making clear to the world what you "really" want, you may have ruined your chance at any other sorority.

I'm not trying to be mean or scare anyone, but think about how you would feel if there were people randomly posting on the internet saying "I am going to be insertyournamehere's friend."

Oh my god, i was in our skit last year and there was this girl in the front row frowning and with her mouth open, looking like this was weirder than aliens landing on top of her dorm. it was so distracting and i purposely asked people who she was just so i could know for my own benefit. so the moral of the story is SMILE even when you think no one's watching...that can be the hardest thing of all.

And another piece of advice...sure, it's not cool for you to go around proclaiming your undying love for XYZ, but when you know that you love a place, TELL the sisters is a non-awkward way, like "I could really see myself fitting in here" or compliment them by saying "You guys are so nice and down to earth, you make recruitment fun for me, etc."...but don't go overboard and say "I LOVE you all! Where can I sign right now? You are my best friends" because that would be stalkerish...but if you compliment sisters in a sincere and simple way, they will remember you and think "Oh, she's so sweet!" and they'll know that you're really interested. :)

bump

Don't roll your eyes at a skit even if it is the hokiest thing ever. I was singing for our "A Phi Idol" skit last year and one of the girls was rolling her eyes because she thought it was cheesy. I was way pissed that I had put a lot of effort into learning my lines, learning 2 songs and teaching the rest of the girls the song, and this chick was like "You are so lame". She's a sister now, but my first impression of her was not good because of that.

Wow, I can't believe no one has said this yet...

DON'T let your roommate or Rush Buddy pressure you into joining a house together. I've seen a lot of girls de-pledge or deactivate because they joined the same sorority as their new roommate/new best friend and were miserable. Things may seem great with your roommate the first week, but you don't know all of her weird habits and annoyances yet. You two may end up hating each other and then you have to put up with her for 4 more years!

On that same token, DON'T NOT join a house because you hate your roommate. My roommate and I, while good friends now, were just not fit to live together and could not stand each other. I almost didn't even consider Alpha Phi because she was dead-set on them. I would have missed out on some of the best memories of my life.

that sounds about right to me.

sad, isnt it???

I just wanted to repeat the thing about schools with deferred recruitment - please remember that we are in the same places as you and we do know that you're freshmen and we are paying attention. I definitely am going to have an opinion of you going into recruitment if I've seen you dancing on bars, puking in the bathroom or hooking up all over the place first semester, and I can pretty much tell you that it won't be a good one.

Also, I totally agree with the "be careful what you say in public" concept, continuing through recruitment. I have definitely been around campus and heard freshmen talking about recruitment and specific GLOs and even knowing they have no clue I'm there/ am greek, it looks really bad. A lot of greeks know eachother and we talk.

At my school, we're not allowed to talk about boys, booze or other GLOs. I don't think this prevents you from learning about someone/ getting to know them because my opinions of people and friendships aren't based on any of those topics. We generally try to avoid controversial topics but really who meets someone and jumps into talking about abortion?

And finally, on the subject of talking about how much you love an organization, I agree that it's great to compliment sisters on skits or tell them that you're having a great time or that someone is really sweet, but PLEASE don't go overboard because it makes it awkward for the sister who obviously can't promise anything and shouldn't even if they could.

DON'T correct a recruitment counselor or active about Greek life. These women have been in the system far longer than you have and they certainly do not appreciate being told they are wrong by someone who is just testing the waters of the Greek system.

Or just don't go back if you really dislike them that much.

That's a good idea too. :)

Well, we can't be giving the impression that girls are forced into joining a house they don't like. ;)

Please please please don't do this.

Last year, a gal would not even set foot into the house. She sat on the porch looking mutinous and kept glaring at the girls going in. When asked why, she kept saying, I'm gonna go XYZ. Nothing will change my mind so I'm not going to waste my time. I'll be in XYZ.
If you really don't wanna go in, don't bother showing up instead of trying to make everyone else miserable.
F.Y.I. She did NOT get into XYZ. I heard she's gonna try again as a sophomore this fall.

I just wanted to reiterate what someone said about not choosing a particular house because there's one person you don't like.

There was a certain RA who wrote me up on the first weekend of school;) ...

I almost didn't pledge AOII because of her...I'm so glad I did because two years later she became my roommate and now, 10+ years later she is still one of my dearest friends.

Moral of the story--things change! If you like the group overall, don't let one person keep you away.

Re: Rush - What to NOT do or say
 

I would say DON'T BE RUDE to the sororities.

It sounds weird, but seriously, don't do it. Every single one of the women in all the sororities has worked countless hours to help prepare decorations, practice rotation, and make you feel comfortable. Even if you dont see yourself in one particular chapter or two, be a young lady and be polite. Carry on a conversation, don't sit there starring at the ceiling or appearing aloof, or talk about how you want to be an XYZ sister.

DO make eye contact with the rusher/rushee when talking. When I was rushing I was in a house talking to one of the sisters and she kept looking all around the room while I was talking to her. It made me feel like she didn't want me there. The same thing goes for the rushee.

Do go to all the parties you are invited to. Feelings change between parties. I know I wasn't crazy about DG after first round but I went back second round to give them another chance and I am so glad b/c I joined DG and have had the best time of my life! But like it was said earlier, if you really didn't like ABC at all then don't go back if you are going to miserable.

Also, don't forget that you want to forge new friendships regardless of what house you end up in. It's o.k. to not want to join a particular house but having friends at the houses is always a +

I don't know If I should post here but...
 

I just wanted to say Thank you to all of the people who have posted on this Board. I am finding this information to be very helpful and calming. I want to rush on my campus and with all the researching I have done I've never even heard of Formal Recruitment. I not only need to do some more research I also need to stop being so Shy and start asking questions.

Thanks again. :D

Important....
If you mess up (like spilling a drink all over the floor during first rounds :rolleyes: lol ) just laugh it off and try not to dwell on it. Everyone makes a mistake and you handling it with grace will leave a lasting impression on the sisters.

This actually happened to me during recruitment and I just played it off, but inside I just knew I would be cut. The next day I was so excited to see that those girls asked me back!