Had to drop because of grades - what's the next step?
 

During the last week, I participated in COB with a sorority. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure about the academic requirements and learned from the office of Greek life that I couldn't join because of my GPA which was under the minimum requirement for all sororities. I informed the president about the chapter about this, and she seemed genuinely disappointed. I said I would try COB next semester in the fall, and she seemed very receptive to the idea.

For the rest of the semester, I will continue to be involved on campus and keeping my grades up. I also feel like I should write the recruitment chair an email to let her know about my plans for COB. Would this be ok to send?

[Chair],

I did not get to meet you during the time I participated in COB. I had a great time meeting all of the sisters and hope that they had just as good of a time.

Unfortunately, I learned from the Office of Greek life that my GPA did not meet the minimum requirements to participate in Greek life. This is understandable.

However, [president] encouraged me to participate in COB next semester. I would definitely try this out if the chapter is participating. Would you mind putting my name down for this? I would love to see you all again next semester.

Will you be in your seventh year next fall?

I will be a Junior next fall according to my university's official standing system. I don't want to go into details but I had to take several years off of school because of health reasons since registering here. I had some very difficult semesters, but I did much better last semester and made the Dean's list for the first time.

It didn't seem like any of the sisters were aware of my background during COB.

How come you didn't do formal recruitment this winter? You only did COB with one chapter after recruitment was over?

If the overall GPA requirement is 2.5, and you are below that as a junior, I regret to say that you will have a very tough hill to climb. :(

I suggest that you get yourself to the academic advising center ASAP to discuss your transcript with one of the staff members. You may have previous incompletes or poor grades on your record that can be severely impacting your GPA. You should ask to see if you can have your poor semesters retroactively withdrawn due to whatever medical circumstances caused you to leave school for a time. If it's just a couple of classes, see if you qualify for any course forgiveness/grade replacement policies.

I wouldn't bother e-mailing the sorority's recruitment chair. She can't do anything until your GPA becomes eligible. So as my dad would say, "Cross that bridge when you get to it".

Aside from that, remember, you are attending a school with a competitive, SEC recruitment. You first enrolled in 2012 or so. You are about 23/24 years old, yes? You didn't have recs the first time in 2012, correct? You have got to bring your A-game if you try again.

I don't say these things to make you feel awkward. I simply want you to take a more holistic look at where you are in the grand scheme of things. Best wishes for a successful semester (and please go to the academic advising center!!!)

I didn't do formal recruitment because I knew my grades would be a problem. I heard COB was an option, I forgot the GPA requirement was higher than what I thought.

Like I said, I had a bad couple of semesters, but I feel like I've turned things around because I made the Dean's List last semester. This semester I'm retaking a couple of classes I failed, and I feel much more confident I will succeed in them. Retaking a failed course here means the F will be replaced with the new grade in my GPA if I pass. Unless something goes horribly wrong this semester, I will definitely make the minimum, or I will have bigger things to worry about. I know my GPA still won't be great, but I hope that the sorority as well as employers more importantly, will see that I have an upward trend.

I wanted to email the recruitment chair indicating that I was still interested in meeting with them next semester when my GPA was better. I just wanted to give a formal explanation to the chair as to why I stopped doing COB. I'm sure she knows by now but I wanted to leave something in her inbox to make sure she remembered me.

I know I am old, and I felt awkward about that at the beginning of semester. But I don't think most people realize how old I actually am, and it seemed like nobody knew during COB. I have people asking if I am a freshman all of the time.

I will definitely bring my A-game next time but I hope that the response I got was a positive sign. Thanks for the advice!

I hate to say this so bluntly, but a 23 yr old junior with just OK grades is very unlikely to make it to anyone's bid list. I don't want to be negative, but it is time to look at other activities. I am sure you are a lovely person with lots to offer, but I don't see sorority membership as an option at this point.

You really hate to say so? :p :o

Should I not sign up for COB in the fall despite what was told to me?

I feel like I will go back anyways, because the COB process would be not that long if I didn't get a bid. I don't regret participating in COB this week myself, because I had an interesting time and got to meet some cool girls. I think maybe the chapter would have second thoughts about me once they found out my age and academic history for real, but I will let them decide. I'm just going to finish the rest of semester doing what I've normally done.

Of course the president told you that! She was being gracious.Would you rather she told you not to every come back?

You can certainly go thru recruitment any time you want. We are just telling you that the odds aren't good that you'll get a bid.

If you don't get your hopes up too much, once your grades are better it hurts nothing but potentially your own feelings to try again. Just prepare yourself because you will have a lot of negatives to overcome to get a bid.

I would maybe save any emails until next semester when you can include something about how much higher your GPA is now, and if you could also get women familiar with your unique situation to write you the world greatest, most glowing recs, it might (might) help a little.

I didn't go to a school with recruitment like the SEC, but I generally support the theory that, so long as you can handle the disappointment, the worst someone can say is no so why not try.

As everyone has said, nothing to lose by going through again, but do be aware the odds are really against you. They're against sophomores - true sophomores - at a competitive school, so it's tougher as you progress upward.

One thing I'd warn you about - over-explaining your situation via emails, etc. That speaks of desperation to me (would be the same in work interview, etc.). It could make you seem like you've got baggage (although you don't, but you do have different circumstances) and that's not appealing.

If it doesn't work, then you have to simply accept that sorority life wasn't in the cards for you. I know that might sound harsh, but it's something many young women have had to accept, even those who don't have special circumstances like yours. I hope you keep us posted.

If at all possible, while continuing to work on grades please be sure that you are active on campus with organizations that will expose you to sorority members. Even if you're not able to establish true friendships with sorority women before recruitment it'll definitely help if some members can honestly say "yeah, I know her. She's in ABD with me and I like her."