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-   -   Should I initiate at a non-local college or try for alumnae initiation elsewhere? (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=247965)

newtotheu 10-04-2021 04:15 PM

Should I initiate at a non-local college or try for alumnae initiation elsewhere?
 
I recently rushed (online) at my current college across the country. I got a bid, and was delighted. I have *not* yet been initiated in XYZ Sorority..

I had planned (and still hope) to move across the country for the spring semester to live on campus at my new campus. However, my family is currently dealing with a life or death health situation, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to move across the country. I'm not sure if I'll be a student at all next semester, and if I'm not, alumnae initiation would be a possibility for a non-student. There's a local alumnae group of the sorority (ABC Sorority).

I had inquired about alumnae initiation of ABC Sorority before rushing/starting at my college. They e-mailed me today with an application. I know alumnae initiation can be a long-shot. It's a local alumnae group of a different sorority than the on-campus sorority that offered me a bid.

I'm torn on what to do. Do I hope to move across the country in January and initiate at XYZ Sorority? Or do I, instead, try for alumnae initiation at local ABC Sorority? Both are Panhel groups, so I can't do both. I'm a non-traditional student, so I would fit in at an alumnae group age-wise and lifestyle-wise I think. I don't want to try for a long-shot with alumnae initiation if it's unlikely and not get to be a part of sorority. But I'm also not sure if it's realistic that I'll be able to move across the country to attend my college in January.

What would you do if you were me?

thetalady 10-04-2021 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtotheu (Post 2487250)
I recently rushed (online) at my current college across the country. I got a bid, and was delighted. I have *not* yet been initiated in XYZ Sorority..

I had planned (and still hope) to move across the country for the spring semester to live on campus at my new campus. However, my family is currently dealing with a life or death health situation, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to move across the country. I'm not sure if I'll be a student at all next semester, and if I'm not, alumnae initiation would be a possibility for a non-student. There's a local alumnae group of the sorority (ABC Sorority).

I had inquired about alumnae initiation of ABC Sorority before rushing/starting at my college. They e-mailed me today with an application. I know alumnae initiation can be a long-shot. It's a local alumnae group of a different sorority than the on-campus sorority that offered me a bid.

I'm torn on what to do. Do I hope to move across the country in January and initiate at XYZ Sorority? Or do I, instead, try for alumnae initiation at local ABC Sorority? Both are Panhel groups, so I can't do both. I'm a non-traditional student, so I would fit in at an alumnae group age-wise and lifestyle-wise I think. I don't want to try for a long-shot with alumnae initiation if it's unlikely and not get to be a part of sorority. But I'm also not sure if it's realistic that I'll be able to move across the country to attend my college in January.

What would you do if you were me?

I hate to say that there are so many moving parts to this that it is kind of impossible to know what to tell you. What one of us might do is not really relevant to you and what you want. You probably don't have much time to decide, since I am sure initiation is coming up fast. Do some soul searching and maybe a plus/ minus list of the pros and cons of each choice.

I do wonder about another option... initiate with the GLO that you got the bid from. Then if you cannot transfer to be active in the collegiate chapter, is there an alumnae organization of that sorority that you can participate in?
I wish you well!

newtotheu 10-04-2021 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady (Post 2487253)

I do wonder about another option... initiate with the GLO that you got the bid from. Then if you cannot transfer to be active in the collegiate chapter, is there an alumnae organization of that sorority that you can participate in?
I wish you well!

Thanks. There is no local alumnae group in the state/region, nor even local collegiate chapter, of the XYZ Sorority I got the bid from at my college. The only way I could really participate in XYZ Sorority is if I do it remotely or move across the country in January (like I'd hoped/planned).

Bid day for XYZ sorority was a week ago so we haven't started new member training or meetings yet.

I'm not sure how much of an experience I could have remotely on XYZ Sorority if I was a remote student at my current college next semester.

If I thought alumnae initiation at local ABC Sorority was likely, I would do that since they have a local chapter as well as a chapter at my current (across the country) chapter. ABC Sorority is way larger of a national group than the XYZ Sorority at my college that I got a bid from.

33girl 10-04-2021 06:28 PM

Get your family health situation sorted out and then worry about sorority membership.

Also, Panhel fountains of knowledge: is she bound for a year if she is a virtual student?

NYCMS 10-04-2021 06:29 PM

I too can't say what I would do, but I know what I've done in other situations with many moving parts: I go with the option that lights me up the most. That isn't always the one that make the most sense, but if you're not lit up to the sky with your affiliation, then nothing else really matters, in my experience and opinion.

I've seen this in many rush situations (Mom's legacy chapter vs. the chapter the PNM loves, etc.) and of course, in life. I've never been failed when I went with what lit me up, whether it was the sorority I chose, the college I attended or jobs I've taken. Good luck.

thetalady 10-04-2021 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2487257)
Also, Panhel fountains of knowledge: is she bound for a year if she is a virtual student?

I am more of a trickle than a fountain, but if she accepted a bid, I don't think virtual matters. The MRABA is the MRABA.

I will say that it is really weird to me that she enrolled at a college in another state, and because of CV19, was able to participate in rush virtually and get a bid. Makes no sense to me at all.

Titchou 10-04-2021 09:36 PM

If the option for her school's student is both virtual and in person, this would be the situation. She's already accepted a bid so she is tied to it till next formal recruitment...whether virtual or in person - as long as it's an NPC sorority. I'm surprised initiation isn't till next semester though. I thought Chi O was the only one doing semester long pledging - though that may have changed.

newtotheu 10-04-2021 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetalady (Post 2487263)
I am more of a trickle than a fountain, but if she accepted a bid, I don't think virtual matters. The MRABA is the MRABA.

I will say that it is really weird to me that she enrolled at a college in another state, and because of CV19, was able to participate in rush virtually and get a bid. Makes no sense to me at all.

My schoolís recruitment was 100% virtual. Bid day had both virtual and in-person options, but all other rounds were virtual only. I had told my rho gamma that I wasnít local this semester and she said it was ok to do recruitment from another state. I had planned on relocating in January, but then family tragedy struck.

My school also allows in-person or online attendance for classes, as well as tons of classes, so my classes thankfully are online and still possible for me to finish.

newtotheu 10-04-2021 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou (Post 2487267)
If the option for her school's student is both virtual and in person, this would be the situation. She's already accepted a bid so she is tied to it till next formal recruitment...whether virtual or in person - as long as it's an NPC sorority. I'm surprised initiation isn't till next semester though. I thought Chi O was the only one doing semester long pledging - though that may have changed.

Initiation at my collegiate chapter is later this semester. I just am trying to figure out if I really can move in January or not, or if I should go through initiation or drop prior. I want to stay in my collegiate chapter if I can move in January, Iím just not sure if I can. I donít want to ruin my lifelong chances of being active in any sorority if I initiate my collegiate chapter now. Thereís no chapter of that sorority locally or even regionally, so if I canít move across the country in January, I wonít be able to be active in it.

Good to know about the one year wait though. I didnít realize that applied to alumnae chapters or my situation.

newtotheu 10-04-2021 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCMS (Post 2487258)
I too can't say what I would do, but I know what I've done in other situations with many moving parts: I go with the option that lights me up the most. That isn't always the one that make the most sense, but if you're not lit up to the sky with your affiliation, then nothing else really matters, in my experience and opinion.

I've seen this in many rush situations (Mom's legacy chapter vs. the chapter the PNM loves, etc.) and of course, in life. I've never been failed when I went with what lit me up, whether it was the sorority I chose, the college I attended or jobs I've taken. Good luck.

I really had never heard of my collegiate chapter sorority before now. Thereís no local chapters of them so I was not familiar with them. They seem like a really unique group of women so I would love to be active in them... itís just a big if on if I can move across the country in January.

The sorority that finally emailed me back about alumnae initiation was a group I had heard of and wanted to be a part of for years, so that does make it a tough decision on that accord too. Iím not sure if that group would accept me as an alumnae initiate, or what the women in that group would be like, etc. so itís hard to decide.

I was delighted to get a bid from the collegiate chapter so it does light my soul up, even though I had never heard of the group itself before. I had always wanted to be a member of a sorority at my own college. The family situation just but a wrench in my plans and might make that unrealistic.

newtotheu 10-04-2021 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 2487257)
Get your family health situation sorted out and then worry about sorority membership.

Also, Panhel fountains of knowledge: is she bound for a year if she is a virtual student?

I really should focus on my familyís health. I still went through with recruitment to try to give myself something to look forward to and a potential new support system/social group. But waiting for a sorority, even if it would be limited to an alumnae initiation, in the future might be more realistic. I donít think I would ever get another bid at a collegiate chapter, but perhaps alumnae when life is more calm is something I should really think more about.

Titchou 10-05-2021 07:58 AM

If you are still enrolled in your current school, virtual - in person or some hybrid thereof - you are still considered a pledge of your sorority as it's an allowed enrollment at your institution. Now, if you drop out of that school and are not in school that has NPC chapters, that's a different situation - but you wouldn't be pledging anyway. Most NPC groups require some college credits for alumnae initiates but not all.

And I agree that maybe what you should do is terminate your pledgeship and focus on your family situation. You appear to be a freshman so Greek life has not passed you by yet...many women pledge as upperclassmen.

KD4Me 10-05-2021 10:03 AM

Are there sororities that are offering all-virtual New Member programs this fall? I was unaware of that.

newtotheu 10-05-2021 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KD4Me (Post 2487281)
Are there sororities that are offering all-virtual New Member programs this fall? I was unaware of that.

All of my school's organizations are offering a virtual or in-person option this fall. I didn't know it was rare or non-existent at other schools.

thetalady 10-05-2021 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Titchou (Post 2487279)
You appear to be a freshman so Greek life has not passed you by yet...many women pledge as upperclassmen.

Titchou- she posted "I'm a non-traditional student, so I would fit in at an alumnae group age-wise and lifestyle-wise I think."

Although she may be a freshman, it sounds like she is a good bit older than 18-19. Another bid at a later date from a collegiate chapter doesn't sound like a possibility.


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