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-   -   What to tell overconfident PNMs (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=87932)

ADPi Conniebama 06-20-2007 01:45 PM

Seems to me that it depends on the school (or type of school) that the pnm is attending. (using Alabama schools \/)

If she is going to BAMA then I would tell her to KEEP AN OPEN MIND because their are ALOT of GREAT HOUSES and her # 1 is just as involed and wins stuff and is just as cute as her # 4 or #6 for that matter.

If she is going to UNA or Troy or whatever and, she IS as great as she thinks she is, then she will more then likely get what she wants, anyway. (unless she is a B$%&@^% or acts like one in the rooms) So, don't worry about her.

If she isn't so great then have a good long talk with her like everyone said before.

KSUViolet06 06-20-2007 02:08 PM

Overconfident PNMs need to realize that while it's great that they are gorgeous with good grades and tons of extracurriculars, plenty of girls in recruitment will be just as pretty and smart.

For example, you might think that the fact that you were Homecoming Queen in HS makes you unique and special and a "big catch" for any sorority. What you fail to realize is that depending on the school, you will be one of many smart, pretty, Homecoming Queens.

There was a particular girl who came into recruitment and told me "Oh you don't have to talk to me if you don't feel like it, I'm going to be an XY. I've heard they are the best one." She was a Homecoming Queen, 4.0, and very pretty. She told every single sorority the same thing (except XY). Well, when it was time for invites, none of us invited her back. Well that's okay right because she really wanted XY? Well, they didn't invite her back either. She was really upset about it, but that's what happens when you're too overconfident and don't consider all of your options.

33girl 06-20-2007 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADPi Conniebama (Post 1470086)
If she is going to UNA or Troy or whatever and, she IS as great as she thinks she is, then she will more then likely get what she wants, anyway. (unless she is a B$%&@^% or acts like one in the rooms) So, don't worry about her.

There were plenty of Miss Everythings from their high schools who went through rush at my noncompetitive school, and DIDN'T get what they wanted. High school and college are two different animals.

Denise_DPhiE 06-20-2007 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1470102)
There were plenty of Miss Everythings from their high schools who went through rush at my noncompetitive school, and DIDN'T get what they wanted. High school and college are two different animals.

Amen sista. That is the beauty of college. Levels the playing field!

dgdramadawg 06-20-2007 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ADPi Conniebama (Post 1470086)
If she is going to BAMA then I would tell her to KEEP AN OPEN MIND because their are ALOT of GREAT HOUSES and her # 1 is just as involed and wins stuff and is just as cute as her # 4 or #6 for that matter.

I'd say ditto on this with other very competitive schools like Ole Miss, LSU, UGA, etc... especially if the school has 15-20 houses, how could only one or two be the "good" ones?

That LSU thread that carnation suggested reading was just heartbreaking to read. It really is a good one for anyone going through at an SEC or otherwise competitive school.

My sister (who will be rushing at an unnamed school this fall) and her closest friends have seen several girls from their group get burned in recent years because of overconfident attitudes (not getting their initial top choices or dropping because of their invites), so I really think they're aware of how crazy the cuts can be and will be as level-headed as possible about it... but I worry about the girls who don't have as many Greek friends and relatives and therefore haven't heard the horror stories. It's hard for me especially to see my students who are SOOOO excited about rushing at Auburn or Georgia and are SOOOOO naive about the possibilities for the outcome. They really have no reason to think that they won't pledge the "best" because they have never heard stories that indicate otherwise.

ErinIsBadNews 06-20-2007 10:16 PM

There are always a few PNM's who come into my work and buy stuff for their future sorority. :eek: I never know what to say to those girls who are so sure they are going to be an ABC that they're going to drop a bunch of money on a sorority that they may not get in. Itís often legacies who come in with their Mom or sister and want to buy 2 of everything one for the current member and one for their legacy they are sure is going to become their sorority sister. It always makes me sad. I usually try to tell them that there are 15 great organizations on campus and to keep an open mind. I appreciate the reasoning behind these girls a lot more than someone who wants to be an ABC because itís cool.

FuzzieAlum 06-20-2007 11:14 PM

I think maybe we need to rethink placement rates, or at least how we report them. Aren't they reported as the percentage of girls who attend through pref and get bids? So everyone who drops out or is dropped from all houses isn't reflected in that number, and rushees just see that "almost everyone who goes to pref gets a bid" and don't consider whether they'll make it to pref. PNMs need to be reminded that only x out of y girls who sign up for rush make get bids, too.

honeychile 06-21-2007 12:41 AM

When I went to college, I honestly thought that anyone who wasn't in a sorority or a fraternity had tried to get into one, but didn't get a bid!

When I look back at that thought, I'm so glad that was part of my mindset. I can't say that it spared me heartache, because I did get my first choice, but had I wanted an "unattainable" GLO, I'm sure that thought would have helped.

chitownxo 06-21-2007 02:05 AM

One of the young ladies I work with is planning on rushing this fall (she'll be a freshman). She has spent several hours looking at sorority websites to figure out which sorority she is going to join. She's mentioned several chapters that she thinks are beneath her, as she is "blonde and petite" and is sure the top chapter will snatch her up. In fact, she's bought some t-shirts with "her" letters on them already. A couple of us have tried to tell her that's it's a mutual selection process (you may have decided you're a perfect XYZ, but that doesn't mean XYZ will agree). She just looks blankly at us and says, "But I'm blonde and petite." Sometimes you've just got let someone do what they want...and be very glad that your sorority is not at her school.

BabyPiNK_FL 06-21-2007 02:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chitownxo (Post 1470627)
One of the young ladies I work with is planning on rushing this fall (she'll be a freshman). She has spent several hours looking at sorority websites to figure out which sorority she is going to join. She's mentioned several chapters that she thinks are beneath her, as she is "blonde and petite" and is sure the top chapter will snatch her up. In fact, she's bought some t-shirts with "her" letters on them already. A couple of us have tried to tell her that's it's a mutual selection process (you may have decided you're a perfect XYZ, but that doesn't mean XYZ will agree). She just looks blankly at us and says, "But I'm blonde and petite." Sometimes you've just got let someone do what they want...and be very glad that your sorority is not at her school.


Did you explain to her that looks aren't everything. Maybe you should go there and tell her that personality means a lot and right now her's is severely lacking...(oops! did i say that?!)

chitownxo 06-21-2007 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPiNK_FL (Post 1470634)
Did you explain to her that looks aren't everything. Maybe you should go there and tell her that personality means a lot and right now her's is severely lacking...(oops!)

Oh, lordy have I tried, but she's not having any. She told me that I'm just jealous because, since I'm pregnant, I'm not as petite as she is, and I'm trying to bring her down. Yeah, sure. I'm so mean.

BabyPiNK_FL 06-21-2007 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chitownxo (Post 1470638)
Oh, lordy have I tried, but she's not having any. She told me that I'm just jealous because, since I'm pregnant, I'm not as petite as she is, and I'm trying to bring her down. Yeah, sure. I'm so mean.


Why! The nerve, if anything she should be jealous of you! I mean, you're already in a sorority (pregnancy or not)! I've met girls like her, I think we all have and it's not usually pleasant for someone to come to your group and tell you to basically throw your MSS out the window because she is "IT!" Make sure to keep some tissues handy in the office, this one sounds like a real doozie! Keep us updated!

AlexMack 06-21-2007 02:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chitownxo (Post 1470638)
Oh, lordy have I tried, but she's not having any. She told me that I'm just jealous because, since I'm pregnant, I'm not as petite as she is, and I'm trying to bring her down. Yeah, sure. I'm so mean.

That's okay, you know you'll have the last laugh.

SWTXBelle 06-21-2007 09:20 AM

Ummmm . . . do you know any alums of her "first choice" sorority??? You might give them a "head's up".
And jealous because you are currently not petite?? Let's see - you are about to bring a new life into the world - SHE should be jealous! Congratulations!

chitownxo 06-21-2007 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle (Post 1470689)
Ummmm . . . do you know any alums of her "first choice" sorority??? You might give them a "head's up".
And jealous because you are currently not petite?? Let's see - you are about to bring a new life into the world - SHE should be jealous! Congratulations!

Oh, I've got a great way to let her future sisters know. Another one of our co-workers is hosting a BBQ next month, and Ms. Blonde and Petite has asked if she can wear "her" letters. My friend happily agreed, and we're both planning on bringing our cameras and taking a few pictures.:)


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