Being a Good Big

[LeslieAGD]

I was reading the "My Big Sister" post on the Greek Life Forum and I thought a good topic might be suggestions on how to be a better bigs. Obviously it's not about money and gifts, it's about spending time, but let's list some little things that we can do and maybe help out some soon-to-be-bigs.

My suggestions are:
- check out your local dollar store for super cheap stuff you can jazz up with puffy paint
- exchange schedules and pick a time to call each other for weekly updates
- invite your little places even if you think they won't want to/can't go...at least they know you were thinking about them

[Unregistered-]

My sister-mom was a good one, but because she was so busy with her legislative internship she attempted to redeem herself with gifts and presents every week. The gifts were nice, but I could tell that the girls in my pledge class were a little jealous. At the same time, I was jealous of them because their sister-moms were always there for them!

Something new we're going to do next Fall is "Workout with a Sister" and "Lunch with a Sister" days. I believe Mondays and Wednesdays are noted on our calendars for those days...and I know it'll be great for sister mom-daughter relations!



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A single seed...becomes a Rose of incredible beauty.

A single grain of sand...becomes a Pearl of great worth.

A single great idea...becomes a Century of success.

Go Alpha Gam!

[AlphaChiGirl]

A way you can let your little/big know that you're thinking of them is to simply send a letter or postcard over the summer. People have abandoned the written word in favor of phone calls and email, so that's definitely a nice touch. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[ZTAMich]

when i became part of the family tree, my big was really busy. senior year, internship, resident director of the building i was an RA in, and also 4 classes and zeta stuff...one of the best things we did that really showed me she cared was having dinner on Monday nite's before our nite classes. yeah it was campus food but just hanging out in the food court was a nice opener to 3 hours of lecture!
Dianne a party sounds like such an awesome idea...i really don't know much at all about my grand-bigs and wish my tree was as big as some of the ones who still are in school
in my opinion, one of the best things a girl in my pledge class got from her grand-big was a really extensive list of her family tree. she had it hanging by her computer and i thought it was such a precious thing to do. she knows her 'cousin' and 'aunts' and everything http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

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~*~to be true to ourselves, to those within and without our circle ~*~

[This message has been edited by ZTAMich (edited July 16, 2001).]

[Dianne]

Once a semester, I actually get my entire family tree (my big sis and all of our littles and grandlittles, etc) together for a party. We have it at someone's apartment, and we just have our little group together. (Yes, we drink, but that's really not the point of the party.) It gives us all a chance to get to know each other better, and makes for some great laughs. A lot of other girls are actually jealous and ask if they can come to our family tree party. (We say yes, of course, but we lightheartedly tease them the whole night. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif)

[Harmony]

I love my big and I cannot wait to be a big! The day after we got our bids my pledge class wore our bid day shirts. Well my future big found my and that day offered me a ride home for fall break. She paid attention to the things I said and my big little week was awsome! She's one of my best friends now along w/ my twin and my twin's little. We're by far the closest family and we have "adopted" littles, lol! When someone new gets intiated or graduates we get together and even the seniors make sure to go to all the big socials like for formal bid, formal initiation, and big/little revealing so we can all be together. All for one and one for all!

[Dianne]

I have always cherished my family tree. My older sister was in a very small local sorority, and one of the things she had to do as a pledge was memorize her family tree. So when I was preparing for rush, she told me how important it was to learn my family tree. I am now Historian of my chapter. In addition to the making the chapter scrapbook, this summer I also made a family tree book with all the sisters in my chapter. And instead of drawing trees, I used Zeta symbols, like strawberries and white violets. It goes back quite a few years, and it's really cool to see who you're "related" to.

I have also adopted little sisters. My real little calls me the "little sister whore." We also have close friends who aren't technically a part of our family tree, so we call them acorns!

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"Seek the noblest."
Zeta Love! <3

[SigKap]

I think just talking to your little makes you a good big. Even if it's about stupid stuff. I love my big sis so so so so so much she is truly my best friend, but it's all because she talks to me! It's all about communication girls. Just like with boys, only less grunting. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

[AlphaSigLana]

I love my big!!!! She is fun, listens to me and I can always count on her to kick me in the ass when i am being pessimistic.

[AXOLiz]

Originally posted by SigKap:
I think just talking to your little makes you a good big. Even if it's about stupid stuff. I love my big sis so so so so so much she is truly my best friend, but it's all because she talks to me! It's all about communication girls. Just like with boys, only less grunting. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

That's so true, communication is the most important of all. Half of GC probably knows all the issues I had with my real big, but the big difference between her and my "adopted" big is that I know I could call my adopted big anytime, and while she might wonder how many drugs I happened to take before I called her cell phone at midnight when she was on a trip with her mom and I was 750 miles from home as well, she'll still sit there and listen to me vent because I'm lonely and tired and annoyed and so on. My real big bought me a ton of stuff, but my adopted big passed down a bunch of her stuff to me, and you can guess which stuff I value a lot more. It's not the gift exchanging that makes the relationship between a big and little what it is, it's the bond between them that counts. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Liz http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[Wooglin4Ever]

I love being a Dad (That's what we call it here) I think that is soemthing that shouldn't be taken lightly. I always like to take my kid out once a week for lunch (usually just McDonolds or something). It's your job to make sure they get initiated so help them on their test and everything. We usually have the dads give some insight on what the fraternity is all about. I usually let my pledge kid in on a little bit to where he thinks he knows more than the rest of his brothers do about what's coming up, of corse everyone does that so they all know the same stuff. Also we go to Miami (OH) when we initiate our pledges because that's where we were founded and I always make a point to go to that. In 6 pledge classes I have only missed one trip to OH.

[This message has been edited by Wooglin4Ever (edited August 08, 2001).]

[SigmaChiCard]

i think a good way to be a good big
is to not so much try to be "there" for them in a sense
as just, become friends with them
that's what I did, my lil bro is one of my best friends,
i think it's just because so many people in my chapter were poor big bros that I discovered they spent too much time trying to be a big brother, and not enough time just being a good friend.

Also, go out for dinner once in a while with your whole family
I mean, grand big, lil lil, anybody that's still active in the chapter that's in your family tree, go out to dinner and just talk about various shit, and here's a key, if the conversation is wierd, or there is ever awkward silence, then you're being a shitty big because you should know the person well enough (be good enough of friends) that there is no wierd silences...we'll say that's the ultimate test

Also, too much big bro, lil bro stuff stops immediately after initiation, it shouldn't, keep going out to dinner, meet each other for lunch on the occassion, the longer the bond, the stronger the bond...

just my thoughts
Cory

[The1calledTKE]

Yah I agree become friends and help them when they need it. Everyone should have their own fraternity experience free from influence from anyone else.

[AlphaGam1019]

The first ingredient in being a great big sister/brother is time investment. Nothing makes up for this. Unfortunately for me, I got a big sister who was extremely busy with her major- Sports Medicine. She was pretty generous with giving me material things but she seemed to be absent alot. (at my initation as well!) It was ironic that I was her SECOND little sister. The other little sister felt the same way I did. I have no idea why the chapter let her have another one!

[lilangel81agd]

We call it sister mom/daugter and my sis-mom was so busy my pledge period and our schedules were totally opposite that's why I was excited for the next semester but then she went alum. The odd part about it is that I've spent more time with her now than I did when she was active. We talk at least once a week and I can't wait to be a mom. I have so many good ideas to plan to do with my kid!

Someone said something about the lunch and workout with a sister? We have workout and study with a sister on Tuesdays before meeting and it really helps a lot, b/c I wouldn't go workout by myself and usually someone has taken the class I'm studying for so it's awesome!:p

[Eirene_DGP]

I can totally understand where you are coming from about being a better big sister. My little sister this semester lives off-campus and since I carry an office and we have so much going on, I cannot give her the attention that I feel she deserves. But I do make the time to send her a little email of encouragement every now and then or and e-card. Sometimes it is more of quality time than quantity.

[cherub]

I've got two littles, and have really only been welcomed by one. My first little had basically dropped off the face of the earth, and no one from the chapter has heard from her since she left school. I see her maybe once a year at Initiation, if she shows up. What sucks is that we're both living in the same city (I'm an alum) so i'd love to be spending more time with her. But, it's a two way street, so if she doesn't want the contact...my second little and I are a lot closer and talk at least once a month, if not more. Lots of emailing, though!

It's hard when you're alum, because your life doesn't always automatically include thoughts of your GLO. It's easier for me to think "Gotta call my little" because I sit on our chapter advisory board and oversee two executive positions, which requires me to be in contact with each exec member once a week. It's tough, because I still feel like I'm not in contact as often as I'd like...but again, the big-little relationship takes two. So, I think all of us need to stop feeling so bad, 'cuz our littles know how to get a hold of us! :D (Unless you've just got your little, like in the last year, because then I think it takes effort on our part to establish the relationship)

[JMUduke]

Well, first of all, my big is really sweet, but not a great big. Bigs, please, if you want to be known as the coolest big you have to be there! I am new to the school, the people, the sorority life and my big never invites me to go out, and when she does she ends up leaving early or leaving without me! She makes plans a lot, then leaves or bails. Its not cool, and although shes sweet and nice, shes not cut out to be a big. She is too involved in other things and it doesnt help that she leaves every other weekend to go out of town to see her boyfriend. so...if your a big, try to remember your little is really overwhelmed by all of this. I wish I had a different big many times, b/c I think my opinion of the sorority would be much different.

[ZTAMich]

This semester I took two littles who rock! They live in my building so it's really easy to do stuff like go to dinner together. But 2 does pose some problems. Like today I felt bad leaving an away message up for one of them to come get me for dinner bc I didn't know if the other would see it and be hurt...things like that can get sticky. The morning of our revealing ceremony the one came up to me and said she hoped she wasn't a twin...oopps. But now she's so happy so that's good also. I've tried to do so many LITTLE things for them. I think the best thing to do is to be there for them...last nite one of them came down the hall bc she was upset so I lent her my stuffed elephant to sleep with...random stuff like that is the kind of things you'll remember, not how many gifts she gave ya.

[josh8o]

Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
if the conversation is wierd, or there is ever awkward silence, then you're being a shitty big because you should know the person well enough (be good enough of friends) that there is no wierd silences...we'll say that's the ultimate test

This is a good test. My big bro sucks... he is older so he is not around much, but this is the perfect test. I know that when i have a lil bro I'm going to make sure that there are none.

[HotDamGam]

Another cheap idea is if you own/have access to a CD burner you can make your lil sis a CD of songs that either: she likes, you both like/reminds you of one another, or songs that make you think of your chapter/sisterhood/friendship.

[navane]

Awww....everyone's sweet stories about their big/little experiences make me sad that I never had any! :(

I guess I'll just have to live vicariously through you all. :)


......Kelly :)