Any good "Yo Mama" jokes out there?

[Sexy Mocha]

O.k., I'll set it off...Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco...Yo mama teeth so yellow she spits butter...Yo mama head so small, she got her ear pierced and died...Yo mama head so big, it shows up on radar...Yo mama so bald, she took a shower and got brain washed...Yo mama so dirty, she has to creep up on bath water. Now, I know yall know some good Yo mama jokes...let's hear them! Laughter is the best cure against stress!

[kiml122]

Sexy Mocha

I don't know any good "yo mama" jokes, but I'm sitting here LMAO at the yo mama head so small, she got her ear pierced and died. You are crazy girlfriend!! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
Peace
KL

[YO YO]

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is Rague'.

[Sexy Mocha]

Yo mama so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died...Yo mama so fat, she sat on a rainbow and made skittles...yo mama so fat, we're in her NOW...Yo mama so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house

[HER_STORY]

how about: yo mama's hair is so short i can read her mind.

yo mama doesn't have a neck so they call her head and shoulders.

yo mama hair is so short, she rolls her hair with rice.

yo mama is soooooo ugly, when she was kidnapped they brought her back.

[blu_theatrics]

Mocha you know you are crazy girl

[elboogie22]

Yo' mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and squeezed a boogar out of George Washington's nose!lol These jokes still keep me rollin' http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[MaMaBuddha]

i am the queen of yo mama jokes....


Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama's so hairy, her armpits look like she has Don King in a headlock.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."


http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Thank You!! Thank You!!




------------------
"the ORIGINAL soror from the dirtiest part of the south"
(cheese grits, hogmahs and fatback)

MaMaBuddha
Delta Alpha/Epsilon Tau
Spring 94
the 24th Diva of Perfection

Alpha Phi Omega
Alpha Gamma Gamma
Fall '98

Order of Eastern Star
Prince Hall Affilated
Prince Hall #27

[DELTABRAT]

Yo mama so old, she poots dust.

But the one and only yo' mama "joke" that will send ANY and every man blowin' up at the person who said it is.......

simply.....

"Yo'Mama."

And you HAVE to say it with that flair of attitude, lips curled up and the whole nine yards.

[Sexy Mocha]

Yo mama lips so big, Chapstick had to invent a spray...Yo mama mouth so big , she speaks in surround sound...Yo mama gums so black, she spits yoo-hoo...Yo mama breath so bad, when she yawns her teeth duck...Yo mama in a wheel cahir screaming "I AINT STANDING FOR THIS SH*T"....Yo mama ain't so bad, she would give you the hair off her back.

On another note, MaMa Buddha, My family is from the South...now I've eaten my share of collards, black eye peas, hamhocks, even pig feet, but I wish someone can tell me what hogmahs are. I noticed it in your signature. Just curious! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

[TrueGreekLove]

is uglyness was a brick yo mamma would own her own project

yo mamma is so short she could bungy jump off of a sidewalk

yo mamma is so stupid she went to the movies and saw under 17 not admitted and went home and got 16 more people

yo mamma so stupid she got fired from the m & m factory for throwing out all the w's

yo mamma feet so ashy, looks like she kicks flour for a living

yo mamma so fat when she wears an "X" jacket helicopters try to land on her

[Serenity]

Yo mama is so dumb when they told her to take the #4 train she took the #2 train twice.

------------------
Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity http://www.sigmalambdaupsilon.org

[mwedzi]

someone told me hogmahs are pig testicles, mocha.

[MaMaBuddha]

pig testicles...

i think not....they are chitterlings...


mind you i don't eat pork! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
"the ORIGINAL soror from the dirtiest part of the south"
(cheese grits, hogmahs and fatback)

MaMaBuddha
Delta Alpha/Epsilon Tau
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Innnnnncorporated.
Spring 94
the 24th Diva of Perfection

Alpha Phi Omega, Fraternity, Incorporated
Alpha Gamma Gamma
Fall '98

Order of Eastern Star
Prince Hall Affilated
Prince Hall #27

[Sexy Mocha]

Whew! For a minute there I thought my parents were actually eating pig privates. Chitterlings...oh! I've never tasted those, the smell alone turns me off.

[DELTABRAT]

Mocha,

Pig testicles are called "mountain oysters."

I am soooo serious.

[tickledpink]

They sure are (mountain oysters). They sell them in a package ---- makes you wince just to see 'em.

[Discogoddess]

Okay, so, like, eating pig FREAKING INTESTINES (chitlins) is somehow better than pig testicles? Oh my good gracious! That is some s*#$ right there! :-)

[Spotlight4Delta]

Here's one...Yo' mama is so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck!

[mwedzi]

Sorry, my mistake. For real, intestines instead of testicles is not really much of a step up. too funny. well if pig testicles are mountain oysters, what were the goat ones? Or was it ox I heard of? I'm all confused.

[MaMaBuddha]

i swear what you people think of online...

you truely are internet addicts..


sheezzzzz...mountian oysters and pig testicles..... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

------------------
"the ORIGINAL soror from the dirtiest part of the south"
(cheese grits, hogmahs and fatback)

MaMaBuddha
Delta Alpha/Epsilon Tau
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Innnnnncorporated.
Spring 94
the 24th Diva of Perfection

Alpha Phi Omega, Fraternity, Incorporated
Alpha Gamma Gamma
Fall '98

Order of Eastern Star
Prince Hall Affilated
Prince Hall #27

[DELTABRAT]

TEsticles...intestines...testicles...intestines... hmmm...


I have to say I don;t eat any pork, but if I had a choice, chitlins seem to be more widely accepted. I don't know.

I do know we are some creative people. My boyfriend and I talk about this all the time.

How we got the left over pig part and said, "Hey, if you biol 'em and do xyz with 'em, they taste kinda good." Okay I'm sure that's not how it happened.

But I was reading where the no lye relaxer came from and it started during slavery as well. Someone figured out that if you mixed beef fat, butter and something else, it actually straightens the hair out.

Then someone else added some other greasy additive to the mixture to make the first no-lye relaxer.

It is in this month's issue of Essence (it's like a whole hair segment).

I was like dang, you KNOW we created everything under the sun...okay I'm going off on tangents.

Back to testicles and intestines...

[Corbin Dallas]

Hey, that's one thing I KNOW white people won't try to take the credit from you for, chitlins! Ya'll can have that one! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.

[ZetaAce]

Corbin- Plenty of white people LOVE chitlins! On my campus we had a 'Rent Party' and there were plenty of white folx really grubbing on those chitlins.

I think they are NASTY! Yuck!

ZetaAce

PS>Yo mama so fat, she jumped into the air and got stuck!

[MaMaBuddha]

hey all,

Yo mama's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since.

[Diva6]

I can no longer remain silent!!
Yo mama so stupid she:
has one toe and bought a pair of flip-flops

got stabbed in a shoot out

she thought tupak shakur was a jewish holiday

she thought st. ides was a catholic church

she tried to drown a fish

she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

they had to burn down the school to get her out of third grade

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

she thought she needed a token to get on soul train

she invented a solar powered flashlight

she went to dr. dre for a pap smear

she sold the car for gas money

if you gave her a penny for her intelligence you would get change back

[CuRiOuSiTy]

Yo' Mama is so dumb they told her it was chilly outside and she got a bowl.

Yo mama so bald headed when she wear a turtle neck...she look like a roll-on deoderant

Yo mama so fat she sat on a rain bow and made skittles

Yo mama fat she walked in front of the t.v. and I missed a 2 hour show

Yo mama so old she in jesus' year book

Yo mama so old that when God said "let there be light"...she flipped the switch

Yo mama so ugly when she go to the zoo she got to pay to get out

Yo mama so fat she on both sides of the family

Yo mama so dumb she thought a quarter back was a refund

That all the jokes i can think for now.

P.S.
DELTABRAT:
You aint never lied!!! I've seen too many fights started from those two words. You can talk about me or anybody in my family, but don't talk about my mama.

[ambitious 1]

Diva 6, you got me rotf!!! Okay I got some...

Yo mama glasses so thick when she look down at a map, she see people wavin.

Yo mama got one arm, and she swim in a circle.

Yo mama so skinny she can use a froot loop as a hula hoop, and do push ups under the door.

Yo mama so fat the only thing she can fit in in the store is the dressing room.

------------------
"No one is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow." -Alice Walker

[lifesaver]

Yo mamma so black, when she walk in the kitchen the skillets start gigglin'.

[DELTABRAT]

I just want to say that I am digging the "yo' mama" jokes. Dang, I wish I was young so I could use some. I don;t see me retaliating by using these any time in the future.

I wanted to comment on the vernacular used in the "yo' mama" jokes. There is defintely a way to say these and the way they are written is really the way you say them.

Thanks for keeping it real and not saying "Your mother is so fat, that when she walks into a zoo, she has to pay in order to be allowed to leave the zoo."

You get the picture. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

PEACE

[Monique]

lmao...once again, some of yall got me peeing in my clothes..some of them jokes was hella funny..But i wanna let ya know that yes, hogmauels are pignutz..and no i don't eat them , but i do eat chitlings..Yes i'm from the south Mississippi..so belieive me, we eat alotttttt of pig down here..holla

[Caramelattsu]

Girl I'm from the Ga and I assure you, you DON'T want to know what hogmahs are if you ate them before. :0 Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
Yo mama lips so big, Chapstick had to invent a spray...Yo mama mouth so big , she speaks in surround sound...Yo mama gums so black, she spits yoo-hoo...Yo mama breath so bad, when she yawns her teeth duck...Yo mama in a wheel cahir screaming "I AINT STANDING FOR THIS SH*T"....Yo mama ain't so bad, she would give you the hair off her back.

On another note, MaMa Buddha, My family is from the South...now I've eaten my share of collards, black eye peas, hamhocks, even pig feet, but I wish someone can tell me what hogmahs are. I noticed it in your signature. Just curious! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif



------------------
Reach for the Moon, because even if you miss, you will still be among the stars!
-unknown

[onesavvydiva]

OKAY, I nominate:
Deltabrat
and
MaMaBuddha

for the 1st annual GreekChat Yo Mama Slamfest Winners....

Thanks for your contributions of:
"Yo Mama so old, she poots dust" b/c of the originality in bringing back a word from back in the day--poot.
-and
"Yo Mama so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man, and I haven't seen her since"...b/c of the pure comedy that this joke provided....

Any other nominees???

[Sexy Mocha]

Poot....now there's a funny ass word. I actually thought my family was the only one that said poot! Is that just a black thing or does everyone say poot? (Notice I just like saying the word poot). I've always wondered about the origins of such words ..Like poot (fifth time I've said it http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif )
Why is that word so funny to me?!?

[LXAAlum]

Just trying to maintain my composure reading these, and it ain't happenin'.....damn these are good!

Anyways, to clarify...

Mountain Oysters, or, rather, Rocky Mountain Oysters are taken from bulls, not pigs, and are quite the delicacy where I live - legend has it this phenomenon started at Bruce's Bar in Severance, Colorado (Where the geese fly and the bulls cry...)

[icytre]

Yo Mamma so ugly that she has a twin sister named Ass!

[ambitious 1]

icytre...That was too funny, you got me wipin tears away http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

------------------
"No one is your friend who demands your silence or denies your right to grow." -Alice Walker

[Texas Alum]

icytre - ROFLMAO!!!!

and in Texas, mountain oysters are bull testicles - considered a delicacy. Nasty! (especially when you hear how they get them off)

[Billy Optimist]

Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
Mocha,

Pig testicles are called "mountain oysters."

I am soooo serious.



I thought that was goats

[Billy Optimist]

Originally posted by Sexy Mocha:
Poot....now there's a funny ass word. I actually thought my family was the only one that said poot! Is that just a black thing or does everyone say poot? (Notice I just like saying the word poot). I've always wondered about the origins of such words ..Like poot (fifth time I've said it http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif )
Why is that word so funny to me?!?
nah, us honkies say it too. poot.

[unregistered1]

Yo momma so ugly that when 2 burglars came in her house, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "no"!

[damasa]

yo mama so ugly she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

[KSig RC]

yo momma's so stoopid, takes the beeyatch an hour to cook minute rice . . . she tried to put a screen door on a submarine . . . takes all day to watch 60 Minutes . . . confused prime time w/ prime rib, and ended up w/ a mouthful of 'Friends' . . . tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order . . . thought Boyz II Men was a daycare . . . thought Fleetwood Mac was from McDonald's

Yo momma's hips so big, people set drinks on 'em

I saw yo momma kickin a can down the street - i asked what she doin, she said "Movin"

yo momma got so few teeth, looks like her tongue's in jail

[prdlocal]

Yo mama's so dumb, she thought a quaterback was a refund!

Take that! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

[LSUTigerGirl]

Originally posted by unregistered1:
Yo momma so ugly that when 2 burglars came in her house, she yelled "rape" and they yelled "no"!

OH MY LORD!!!! That is hilarious. I almost fell out of my seat because I was laughing so hard. OH...SexyMocha...this is the best thread by far. I needed a good laugh. THANKS!

------------------
~A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition~

[LXA SE285]

Yo' mama so old, she owes Jesus a quarter.

:D

[AznSAE]

http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de//happy/roflmao.gif

[WCUAXID]

Yo mamas so fat that I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!!

[LXA SE285]

Yo' mama so dumb ...

She ordered a cheeseburger at McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

She thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

She took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.

She sold the car for gas money.

She had to call information to get the number for 911.

She got fired from a blowjob.


Yo' mama so fat ...

Instead of Daisy Dukes, she wears Boss Hoggs.

If she weighed 5 more pounds, she could qualify for group insurance.

She fell in love and broke it.

She plays hopscotch like this: "LA, Chicago, Detroit, New York ..."

She got baptized at Sea World.

When she wears a red dress, kids yell "Hey, Kool-Aid!"


Yo' mama so nasty ...

She used Sure and it got confused.

She made Right Guard turn left.

She made Speed Stick slow down.

When I called her for phone sex, I got an ear infection.

Her shit is glad to escape.


Yo' mama so ugly ...

She makes blind kids cry.

When she was born, her mama said "What a treasure!" And her daddy said, "Yeah, let's bury it!"

When she went to the haunted house, she came out with a job application.

Her nickname is "DAMN!"

She threw a boomerang and it never came back.

They put her face on a box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.

:cool:

[PhiPsiRuss]

Yo mama's such a ho that she got busted embezzling from a sperm bank.

[Indie_Superstar]

Umm....Yo Momma so blonde that when she went to a movie that said "Under 18 Not Admitted," she left and came back with 17 friends.

[carnation]

Originally posted by Indie_Superstar
Umm....Yo Momma so blonde that when she went to a movie that said "Under 18 Not Admitted," she left and came back with 17 friends.

Yo momma so dumb that she produced a perp who keeps coming back onto GC after being outed to try to steal ritual information...:rolleyes:

[PrincessHeather]

yo mama so fat she jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and baptized California

yo mama so dirty crabs bungee jump from her tampon string

yo mama so fat she uses a VCR for a pager

yo mama so dirty her roaches ride around the house in dunebuggies

yo mama so ugly that if my dog was that ugly i would shave his ass and make him walk backwards

yo mama so fat she has to use the Richter scale

yo mama so fat i had to roll her in dough just to find the wet spot

yo mama so fat that i rolled over twice and was still on top of her

yo mama is like a cherry pie, everyone gets a piece
yo mama is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn
yo mama is like a shot gun, one cock and she is ready to blow

yo mama is so stupid she walks into parked cars
yo mama is so stupid she sits on the T.V. and watches the couch