Should I rush?

[icicle22]

Hey, I've been thinking quite a while about possibly rushing next semester, but I have brought it up with my parents and they don't really like the whole idea of me even joining a sorority. I've tried to explain to them that I only want to do it because I want to meet people and get involved in campus life, but of course my parents don't really understand that...they're focusing too much on the typical sorority stereotype.
So, what should I do? Should I just go ahead and rush next semester...or should I not?

[Senusret I]

Depends.....are they paying for it?

[icicle22]

Well, at this point, they most likely would be...of course, I'm also worried about the expenses as well.

[KSUViolet06]

Unfortunately, if they are paying, then you do have to consider their input. If you can figure out a way to pay for it yourself, you don't have to worry about it.

[aephi alum]

My parents weren't too thrilled about the idea of my joining a sorority either. They thought that GLOs were all about partying and getting drunk. So, the deal was that I had to pay my own sorority dues and keep my GPA up.

I'd say that if you're prepared to pay your own dues (keep in mind that they can be steep, especially your first semester), go ahead and rush. You're an adult.

[epchick]

My parents, especially my mom, was dead-set against me joining a sorority. She had that typical sorority stereotype in her head. My parents also would be the ones paying the dues, but I knew it was something I wanted.

My advice...sign up for recruitment. Explain to your parents what the sororities at your school are--their philanthropies, etc. When you go through recruitment, they should have a breakdown of dues (usually, if not, ask for a ballpark estimate) and then give that to your parents. Yes, the first year is HELLA (lol) expensive, but its totally worth it.

If after you discuss this with them, and they still are adament about not paying for it, or whatnot, then you can drop out of recruitment. I know its not the best way to go about it, but that is what I did. My parents saw how committed I was to making it work, and my mom finally told me that it would be something good for me :D

[icicle22]

Yeah I was kind of thinking the same thing too...they have said before that if I want to sign up for recruitment I should. They were like "Go ahead"...so I guess I will, and see how it goes.

[indygphib]

My parents, especially my mom, was dead-set against me joining a sorority. She had that typical sorority stereotype in her head. My parents also would be the ones paying the dues, but I knew it was something I wanted.

My advice...sign up for recruitment. Explain to your parents what the sororities at your school are--their philanthropies, etc. When you go through recruitment, they should have a breakdown of dues (usually, if not, ask for a ballpark estimate) and then give that to your parents. Yes, the first year is HELLA (lol) expensive, but its totally worth it.

If after you discuss this with them, and they still are adament about not paying for it, or whatnot, then you can drop out of recruitment. I know its not the best way to go about it, but that is what I did. My parents saw how committed I was to making it work, and my mom finally told me that it would be something good for me :D

Ditto with what happened with me and my folks. They agreed that I could go through recruitment as long as I paid my own dues and kept my grades up.

Icicle22: Perhaps you could work out a similar arrangement with your parents? Once my folks saw how happy I was living in-house AND keeping up my grades, they definitely softened their stance and, as a pleasant surprise to me, ended up being active in the parents' club.:)

[icicle22]

Well, that would work. My parents can get rather worried about my grades, so it would make sense if I told them that I would keep my grades up. I probably wouldn't mind paying my own dues, since I considered that at the beginning. I would have to work, though, and save my money.

[PeppyGPhiB]

We didn't have houses on my campus, so I'm not sure if this is correct thinking or not, but doesn't living in a sorority house often cost around the same amount as living in a dorm? Of course dues and first year fees are additional factors, but aren't they worth it?

I paid all my fees and dues for my four years as a collegiate, so I guess I don't understand why so many women rely on their parents to pay for it. You're in college now, and an adult. You should be making your own decisions based on what you really want and what you're willing to do to get it. If you really want it, and your parents won't pay for it, can you get a job?

[icicle22]

Actually, living in a sorority house is much more cheaper than living in a dorm...at least according to my college. And yes, I have compared dorm and in-house prices in order to prove this is true, and it pretty much is. I am not worried about that right now because it's suggested that pledges don't live in the house for the semester they're pledging in.
But I am worried about the dues, and have given much thought to how I'm going to pay them...I could always get a job (though I'm not looking right now) and pay them myself. After all, I am an adult. Although I haven't REALLY talked it over with my parents yet, so I'm not sure if they are willing to pay or not.

[AEPhiSierra]

If your parents are focusing on the stereotypes maybe you should show them the rules NPC's (and I am sure most locals as well) and campuses have that prevent sororities from being about the stereotypes. Many of the national websites have sections specifically for parents that may address issues parents may have with Greek Life. See if you can show your parents national organizations' standards on alcohol, hazing and academics. Often campuses have even stricter rules. Non-Greeks often stick with their harsh opinions about Greek Life but maybe it can help a little bit.

[icicle22]

Yeah, that does seem like a good idea...it is worth a try.

[Tom Earp]

What is so sad, is that many people have misconceptions about Greek Social Organizations.

What they see on the local TV news is not the only and total things about Greeks.

Greeks on their respective campi have to have house prices very compariable to not only dorms but apartment rental.

Granted, when you add dues in it will add costs.

But in weighing out what one gets for it, it is a very small price to pay.

What you get in dorms, a few friends in college. What after?

In a Greek Organization, you have Brothers/Sisters for life.

If nothing else as was said, sign up check it out and see waht it is all about!

Oh, not to mention, having fun, learning how to lead, learning a little about a small business, and doing something for the good over others in charity events.

I was the first one in my family to go to college and the only one who has ever been in a Greek Organization and it was and is one of the most rewarding things in my life. Just ask any He/she on GC!:D

[EGAOPi]

Unfortunately, there will always be stereotypes about every group of people and social sororities and fraternities get a bad rep from those that don't know much about the Greek system. I understand your parents' concern, particularly because they'd likely be funding your experience. However, if it's important to you, spend some time researching sororities, the role they play in your school and community, their philanthropies, etc.
A lot of times, opposition stems from ignorance. If they don't know any of the merits, of COURSE they're going to think sororities are all about partying (which they definitely are not).

Sit down with them and tell them why you're really interested. Go online with them and show them the websites of chapters at your school --or national websites! They can read about all of the GOOD that sororities do.

If you need someone here to list the merits (so you can get input from sisters), let us know!

Also, if they're concerned about grades, talk to them about how sororities can actually HELP with grades. Of course, sororities provide strong social networks so there are more opportunities to go out and party, hang out, and so forth, but all Panhellenic sororities require a minimum GPA to stay in the sorority and many require mandatory study hours. Sorority membership provides a great incentive to keep up with grades because you can go on academic monitoring or probation within the sorority if you don't keep them up...so basically, if you like going to socials and all of those great perks, you're inspired to work hard!

Also, sorority meetings and events can teach you a lot about responsibility, etiquette, networking, and dealing with groups of people. You can take on officer positions and be a role model and a leader within your organization and university. I have definitely grown tremendously since I joined my sorority.

Of course, we DO have socials and we do have a lot of fun! But that's not all that the sorority is about...that's only a part of it...so make sure your parents know this.

If you try really hard and show them the great things sorority life has to offer and that still doesn't work...try taking them to an information night so they can learn more about it firsthand.

If nothing works, work and pay for it. Trust me--it is definitely worth it. I always hear fellow Greeks saying, "If I paid for my friends, I surely didn't pay enough" and for me, that is so, so true.

Good luck and I hope you do go through recruitment. Let us know what you end up doing!

[SECMom]

What is so sad, is that many people have misconceptions about Greek Social Organizations.

What they see on the local TV news is not the only and total things about Greeks.

Greeks on their respective campi have to have house prices very compariable to not only dorms but apartment rental.

Granted, when you add dues in it will add costs.

But in weighing out what one gets for it, it is a very small price to pay.

What you get in dorms, a few friends in college. What after?

In a Greek Organization, you have Brothers/Sisters for life.

If nothing else as was said, sign up check it out and see waht it is all about!

Oh, not to mention, having fun, learning how to lead, learning a little about a small business, and doing something for the good over others in charity events.

I was the first one in my family to go to college and the only one who has ever been in a Greek Organization and it was and is one of the most rewarding things in my life. Just ask any He/she on GC!:D

I can add to this: My oldest daughter was the Philanthropy Chair for her sorority for 2 years. She initiated a campus wide "Cookout for Cancer" with the proceeds going to St. Jude's. This along with one other fundraiser raised over $20,000 for St. Jude in one semester alone. When she was interviewing and applying for jobs after graduation (her degree was PR/Marketing) this was the thing that most impressed potential employers--not her great GPA or the fact that she was in several honoraries. So not only does sorority membership give you opportunities for philanthropy and leadership, but also real experience that can transfer to the job market! I remember also that she was contacted by one company for an interview (she had posted on Monster) because "whoever" saw that she was a DDD and he had some sort of DDD connection!

[archangel689]

Hey, I've been thinking quite a while about possibly rushing next semester, but I have brought it up with my parents and they don't really like the whole idea of me even joining a sorority. I've tried to explain to them that I only want to do it because I want to meet people and get involved in campus life, but of course my parents don't really understand that...they're focusing too much on the typical sorority stereotype.
So, what should I do? Should I just go ahead and rush next semester...or should I not?

1. See if your folks would be willing to have some friends over for dinner. Don't let them know they are a sorority. If they can win over your parents, then you should have no problem joining. We did this with one of our brothers.

2. Find a relative thats a greek and get them to convince the folks.

[EGAOPi]

I can add to this: My oldest daughter was the Philanthropy Chair for her sorority for 2 years. She initiated a campus wide "Cookout for Cancer" with the proceeds going to St. Jude's. This along with one other fundraiser raised over $20,000 for St. Jude in one semester alone. When she was interviewing and applying for jobs after graduation (her degree was PR/Marketing) this was the thing that most impressed potential employers--not her great GPA or the fact that she was in several honoraries. So not only does sorority membership give you opportunities for philanthropy and leadership, but also real experience that can transfer to the job market! I remember also that she was contacted by one company for an interview (she had posted on Monster) because "whoever" saw that she was a DDD and he had some sort of DDD connection!

I second this! I am also an officer for my sorority and it constantly impresses everyone that hears about it. I'm also working toward a PR degree and whenever I speak to anyone in the PR profession (those I intern with, etc), they always talk about how the sorority connection and the position within the sorority will get me far in my intended career.

Whether you're going for PR or medicine or education, the sorority experience will prepare you for it in some way. It teaches you so much about yourself and others--you are definitely a stronger person for it.

[icicle22]

If anyone doesn't mind, what are the merits?

[PeppyGPhiB]

I second this! I am also an officer for my sorority and it constantly impresses everyone that hears about it. I'm also working toward a PR degree and whenever I speak to anyone in the PR profession (those I intern with, etc), they always talk about how the sorority connection and the position within the sorority will get me far in my intended career.

Whether you're going for PR or medicine or education, the sorority experience will prepare you for it in some way. It teaches you so much about yourself and others--you are definitely a stronger person for it.


While I agree that the experience of being an officer in a sorority does help prepare you for a career, I have to say that it does not always pay off to have it on your resume. I work in PR and a number of my coworkers are GLO members, but I do not list it on my resume anymore (I did when I first graduated and didn't have much work experience) because I know that many people DO have a bad impression of "sorority girls." Though other Greeks may see it on my resume and be more inclined to consider me, there are many other people out there that might reject me because of it. It might be different in other parts of the country, maybe in the south it's more of an advantage?

[KSUViolet06]

You get the opportunity to live in a sorority house. That may seem shallow, but it's really a unique experience.

You gain so many interpersonal skills living with so many people. I learned alot while living in my chapter house about how to live with others.

[violetpretty]

I think membership in a sorority gives you what you are looking for. I had a bad first semester (my school does formal recruitment in the spring) and was looking for close friends. I was skeptical because I didn't drink when I was a first-year student (and still don't) , and I found a chapter that accepted me for that (and still does). Conversely, if you are looking for a bunch of girls to get wasted with, I'm sure you can find that too. It depends on who your closest friends are in the chapter and what you decide to participate in.

As for the money issue, getting a job over winter break would be a good way to put a dent in those first semester dues. It really depends how against it your parents are. It sounds like they're only skeptical/uneasy rather than "absolutely not" about it. Showing your parents that you are mature and responsible (ie by getting a job and by getting the best grades you can this semester) will show them that you are serious about sorority membership.

Good luck and keep us posted with whatever you decide!

[SigKapSweetie]

maybe in the south it's more of an advantage?

Yes. I can't speak for you Northerners, but when I was applying to medical schools down here, one of the main things my interviewers asked about was my sorority experience. One of my interviewers was an AEPi at UGA, and we spent the entire interview time plus twenty extra minutes talking about being greek at an SEC school. I got in.

[icicle22]

One of the main reasons on why I'm considering joining a sorority is because I primarily want to bond with others. I'm an only child and have few friends right now, so I really don't get to bond with much people as I'd like to.

[SECMom]

While I agree that the experience of being an officer in a sorority does help prepare you for a career, I have to say that it does not always pay off to have it on your resume. I work in PR and a number of my coworkers are GLO members, but I do not list it on my resume anymore (I did when I first graduated and didn't have much work experience) because I know that many people DO have a bad impression of "sorority girls." Though other Greeks may see it on my resume and be more inclined to consider me, there are many other people out there that might reject me because of it. It might be different in other parts of the country, maybe in the south it's more of an advantage?

I hadn't really thought about it this way, but then again we live in the DEEP south!

There are some men here in our small southern town who were all members of the same GLO at the University of Alabama back in the day...one of them had an idea for a company and talked his "brothers" into backing him. The company grew and seriously almost all of the men who were involved in this save one were these same brothers....the company sold for 35 Million dollars. Those guys were in their mid thirties.....when my own brother starts dissing fraternities as being a waste of time I remind him of these guys:)

[icicle22]

I was wondering if anyone here has any helpful tips for rushing. Like as in what and what not to say, what and what not to do, etc. Stuff like that. Can anyone help?

[kddani]

I was wondering if anyone here has any helpful tips for rushing. Like as in what and what not to say, what and what not to do, etc. Stuff like that. Can anyone help?

Do a search and look around the Recruitment forum. There are literally 100's, possibly 1000's of threads on these subjects.

[ADPi Conniebama]

IMHO - alot of this depends on whether your parents support you - or - don't support you - or - ARE TOTALLY AGAINST IT - or - are indifferent but just are advising against it -

I say this because if your parents are TOTALLY AGAINST IT and they will "work against" any idea of you being greek, then you need to work on it at home a little bit more. Because, AS much fun as it is and, as much as you CAN get out of it, there are some things that might not be perfect; and if your parents are TOTALLY against it, then when you have an argument with a sister, (petty or not) your parents could go back to "I told you so" mode. And, you need to have them at least "respect" the idea of your choice to go greek.
I hope that made since, I mean, yes, you are a young adult, but if your parents are still "flipping the bill" then they kind of do get a vote (like it or not) and I am sure that EVERY sorority sister knows of another sister that "had to" turn their pin in because of something at home - and if anything goes awry at home (and your parents HATE the idea of you being in a sorority)I am sure that the first thing to be "cut" would be your sorority dues.

[nlauren]

Hey, I've been thinking quite a while about possibly rushing next semester, but I have brought it up with my parents and they don't really like the whole idea of me even joining a sorority. I've tried to explain to them that I only want to do it because I want to meet people and get involved in campus life, but of course my parents don't really understand that...they're focusing too much on the typical sorority stereotype.
So, what should I do? Should I just go ahead and rush next semester...or should I not?

I think you should have a full sitdown with your parents over break and show them the greater good. Sororities have strayed away from the typical "Animal House" behavior and are more then ever active in community events and fundraising.

Hope this helps
<3 nicole

[icicle22]

Yeah, I pretty much know that I have to talk with them about it.

[icicle22]

Yeah, I pretty much know that I have to talk with them about it.

I'm just rather nervous about doing it.

[AChiOhSnap]

I'm just rather nervous about doing it.

The more you prepare, the more you can counter any concerns they may have about Greek life.

If your mom and dad are worried your grades will drop, you can talk about how sororities have mandatory study hours/weekly study breaks/tutoring programs with older sisters or whatever you have on your campus. Talk about the disparity between Greek GPA and overall campus GPA (if it's higher).

If they're worried about money, lay out a specific plan on how exactly you're going to pay for sorority membership.

If they're worried about you partying, you can tell them that you could easily find people to party with, even outside of Greek membership.

Tell them how excited you are about the philanthropies and how much time Greeks on your campus give to charitable causes. Get excited about all the things you're looking forward to in a potential sorority membership, and if their fears are alleviated, hopefully your enthusiasm will catch on. Good luck! :)

[icicle22]

I think they're pretty much worried about all of the above, but nevertheless, I hope I can try to convince them that sorority life has good benefits.

[ASUADPi]

When I started college my parents weren't major anti-greek, they more just didn't understand it (neither of my parents went to college at the age of 18-22, they went when they were in their mid thirties, married, with 3 kids, so GL wasn't really an option for them). Anyways, I decided to rush, had a great time and obviously was offered a bid.

They supported in "their" way. It wasn't the financial aspect though. It was hard, but I was determined.

In all honesty, my grades falling had nothing to do with ADPi, but more me 1) not going to classes 2) not studying and 3) not going to classes. In fact, joing ADPi made me want to do better because I discovered (although not until like the end of the semester) that I had sisters in every single class.

It really wasn't until about 3 years ago that my parents started "respecting" the sorority. (Long story short: I went to CA to meet some ADPi GC sisters. One of my sisters, who I didn't know other than the net, offered to let me stay with her. My parents thought that was such a great thing for her to do since she didn't know me. I told my parents "but I'm her sister"). Now, they still really don't "get it" but they definately "appreciate" it. I'm not sure if I'm making much sense or not.

Anyways, the whole point of me saying this is to say, I understand where you are coming from, since my parents didn't really support my decision to join GL.

I would make a list before talking to your parents. And then read from that list. Maybe even encourage your parents to visit the websites to all the chapters on your schools campus.

[AChiOhSnap]

I think they're pretty much worried about all of the above, but nevertheless, I hope I can try to convince them that sorority life has good benefits.

Do as much research about the benefits of greek life as you can, and hopefully you can win them over before next recruitment :) As long as you're prepared to counter their concerns, that's all you can do.

[violetpretty]

If they're worried about you partying, you can tell them that you could easily find people to party with, even outside of Greek membership.


I definitely second this. You do NOT have to be Greek to party, especially when you're a girl.

[icicle22]

That's true...even some of the people I know, who are non-Greeks, drink and go to parties.

[CuriousWildcat]

I have found that with my parents its always best to have sort of a presentation prepared. I had to convince my parents to let me rush. In my "presentation" I told them what rush would be like and the pros/cons of joining a sorority. I researched online to find out the questions that parents usually ask. Here is the link to the UK Greek parent guide. It's from 2005, but the questions and info at the end should help you with some of the problems your parents may have with joining a GLO.


http://www.uky.edu/StudentAffairs/Greek/parentguide2005.pdf

You might want to see if there is something like this on your school's website that is more specific to their rules/policies.

[DaffyKD]

Back many moons ago when I went through rush, my mother did everything in her power to discourage me. I had no intentions of pledging. I was the HS geek, had few friends and knew that "those" girls would never want me to be a part of their organization. I only went through rush so that I could go move out of the house a week early since rush was the week before dorms opened. I had planned to go to the required first day parties, drop out of rush and spend the rest of the week on the beach. Well... best laid plans..... I ended up pledging, loving it and have been the President of my Alumnae Association for the last 3 years.

My parents came down to "Pledge Presents", met the sisters and really liked what they saw. When my sister started college it was almost a forgone conclusion that she would rush whether she wanted to or not. She never pledged, Mom realized that every campus is different.

Today, Mom is right there supporting our philanthropic fund raisers.

Good luck

DaffyKD

[icicle22]

I have found that with my parents its always best to have sort of a presentation prepared. I had to convince my parents to let me rush. In my "presentation" I told them what rush would be like and the pros/cons of joining a sorority. I researched online to find out the questions that parents usually ask. Here is the link to the UK Greek parent guide. It's from 2005, but the questions and info at the end should help you with some of the problems your parents may have with joining a GLO.


http://www.uky.edu/StudentAffairs/Greek/parentguide2005.pdf

You might want to see if there is something like this on your school's website that is more specific to their rules/policies.
Yeah...I was thinking of making a presentation myself, which would show the pros and cons on being Greek, as well as the costs of housing and being a member.

[knitsnpurls]

My parents weren't against me joining a sorority, but they were somewhat resistant to the idea at first for several reasons. One of which being the stereotypes, and another was the cost. As a junior, joining a sorority was not an expense they had planned for ahead of time.

I talked to them about it gradually and involved them in the whole process. I visited our Greek Affairs website with my mom, pointed out friends of mine who were in sororities, and gave them links to the national websites of all the sororities on my campus. And throughout rush, I would call home each night and tell my parents what I had done that day and how I was feeling. It wasn't until a few hours before Pref Night, that both of my parents told me to go for it and not to worry.

I think the logic behind it was to see how badly I really wanted it. If it was just an impulse they could talk me out of, or if it was something I was really willing to stick out. A few weeks ago, my mom told me it's the happiest and most outgoing she's ever seen me and that they definitely made the right choice in letting me join.

Long story short, it's definitely possible to win over parents who aren't exactly thrilled at first, just try to keep them as informed as possible. Good luck! :)

[icicle22]

I think I should at least keep them informed, at least that is the best course of action. :)

[adpiucf]

My parents weren't supportive, but I decided that since I was paying for college that I would be making the decisions on how to spend my time and my money, especially since I was working my way through. On Bid Day, I got a really nice surprise: not only did I get my first choice but my parents were so happy for me that they paid my entire first semester's dues. After that, they remained a bit skeptical of the value of my membership, but we won them over during Parents Weekend. Since then, they have met my Greek friends and sorority sisters, and have come to see it is a supportive and enriching environment.

[tinkerbellnell]

My parents arent really that supportive. They think that its dangerous, because they believe the things that are shown in movies. But, they can trust that if I was in a situation where there could be physical harm that I wouldnt just go along with it. Its dissapointing to me that they think so badly about an organization that Im looking to join myself with for life, but hopefully with time as I go through rush and then hopefully new membering (keep your fingers crossed) they will understand.

[AGDee]

My dad was totally supportive because he is a TKE. My mom, however, was not at all supportive because she wasn't in a sorority and dated a TKE. Apparently, the sorority women at that time (late 50's) weren't too pleased that a GDI was dating a fraternity man and treated her poorly. Once I had joined though, and she had attended our first Mother-Daughter tea, she was so impressed with the women in my chapter that she became very supportive. She is still supportive as I'm involved as an alumna now. She recently said "I think that sorority thing you do is a really good thing".

[icicle22]

My parents arent really that supportive. They think that its dangerous, because they believe the things that are shown in movies. But, they can trust that if I was in a situation where there could be physical harm that I wouldnt just go along with it. Its dissapointing to me that they think so badly about an organization that Im looking to join myself with for life, but hopefully with time as I go through rush and then hopefully new membering (keep your fingers crossed) they will understand.
I would most likely discuss it gradually with your parents if I were you...just as I will as well.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I would most likely discuss it gradually with your parents if I were you...just as I will as well.

Please don't be the person who rushes first and then tells your parents that you just pledged. It doesn't sound like this is your plan, but remember that it takes a spot away from someone else.

[AGDLynn]

Some chapters may have a delayed payment plan to ease the "pain" of joining although they may have rule that when you pledge, all outstanding monies have to be paid before you "walk down the aisle" or whatever at Initiation..once you are initiated, it may be easier to be approved for a promissory note or whatever.

Yes, GPA is very important. Most chapters have specific rules about studying. For example, let's say that a group has a rule that those below a 3.0 have to do some proctored hours each week..the farther away you are from the 3.0, the more you have to be proctored.;)

Yes, it's cool to see some famous person and be able to say "that's my sister or brother"..even though you'll never actually meet them. Of course, it's also neat to find out that the person living across the street is your sister or brother".

And it's fun when you "meet" on GC and then actually meet them in real person.

[icicle22]

An update.
Well, I've just seen my fall semester grades and they are below par...except for one class, luckily enough. So I think I'm going to rush next year, because by then, I might have better grades by then.

[OhSoSmoothKalyn]

Well, fortunately I had a mother and father who were both greek and were encouraging me to rush since, oh about 5th grade lol... I was told about the high ideals of scholarship to the Greek Community, the involvement, etc... I was rushed by my own parents lol!!

But... I had an Aunt who was against me joining anything... she basicially said that greek organizations focus on drinking and partying... and that certainly isn't true... people, like my aunt, who aren't greek, will generalize and make assumptions...

I definitely encourage you to go through recruitment! It's a great way to meet people and a wonderful way to get involved on campus... if your parents are still adamant on you not joining a greek organization, check and see if there is a parent's guide to Greek Life in your Student Life office... I know at my school there are plenty! This helps parents get an insight to what Greek Life promotes and eases them a little bit...

I agree with Delta Beta Baby, don't be the girl who pledges and then has to drop because she didn't tell her parents... that only makes things worse for the sorority and you :) I'm sure you won't, but it's better to tell them upfront than to lie to them... it happened to a girl in my pledge class when I pledged in Fall 2005... not pretty...

Best of Luck to you!
-Kalyn

[OhSoSmoothKalyn]

Yes, get those grades up! And you will also have more time to talk to your parents about greek life... again, please check in your student life office for a parent's guide... I work in the student life office and we gave out a BUNCH for the girls this fall.

[icicle22]

Yes, get those grades up! And you will also have more time to talk to your parents about greek life... again, please check in your student life office for a parent's guide... I work in the student life office and we gave out a BUNCH for the girls this fall.
Thanks...I'll definitely look into it. :)

[GreekGirl06]

I would do it. The way I look at the entire rush process, even if you don't get a bid. You will make lots of friends with other people that you meet through the whole process for instance, I've been at my university for four years and I'm still interested in going Greek as a result. I now have over 200 friends that are Greek, and I still haven't received the bid into a house. It's about the people you meet even if you don't get accepted into the Greek community. They know that I will be rushing every semester and I'm not worried whether or not they think I'm crazy for going through rush. Hopefully one day, I will get in is n. In my head. It's only a matter of time before the bid is extended,

[BabyPiNK_FL]

I rushed and didn't tell my parents (they didn't want me to join anything) but a) I was 20-21 at the time of pledging b) I didn't expect them to (directly) pay for it, c) I was living on campus (normally I commute) at the time so it was easy to hide and d) i didn't expect them to pay for it (directly). If you, yourself, and you can fund it and you're over 18 then when you are ready to rush, then go ahead, but since you're concerned about grades, save up your spare finaid or pocket change, etc. so that way you don't have to worry about what anyone think when the time comes.

p.s. my mom found out after initiation when I came home to stay over the break (the dorms were empty :( ) by then I didn't care and she didn't get mad because there wasn't anything she could do, but she doesn't like it and calls it "my cult" and i wear "cult shirts" and sing "cult songs" so be prepared for some kind of backlash!

hope i helped!

[Ocalagirl]

Well coming from a pretty much non-greek family, they weren't against it, but were not totally for it. I tried to explain to them why I was going for it, but they had seen my aunt join a GLO, grades drop, and she dropped out of college and they thought this was how it was going to be like. And because I didn't receive a bid, my mom is even now more against it than ever. She doesn't understand why I would want to go through the humiliation and work of going through recruitment again when I pretty much have a slim chance of getting in. I am going through again because I want to know the bonds of sisterhood in some shape or form...I encourage everyone I know to go greek (if they know they would be willing to do it). I hope your parents understand and you are able to go through with it.
Good luck, Ocalagirl

[violetpretty]

It depends how low your grades are and how competitive your school's greek community is. If you are below the panhellenic required GPA, wait until you get your grades up. If you are just at the minimum for many of the chapters, then go ahead and sign up. You have nothing to lose. Worst case scenario is that you will have met a bunch of new people and have extra motivation to imporve your grades for the fall.

Have you talked with your parents yet?

[icicle22]

Not yet, technically...I will most likely be rushing next fall, so I'm focusing on studies first. But yeah, I plan to talk to them in the coming months.

[FSUblondeAST07]

When my lil lil pledged she did not tell her parents that she was doing it because they were against it. It was hard for her to keep it a secret, she even had to take down sorority decorations in her room before her parents came up to visit. Bottom line, her parents found out after the dues checked cleared and it really wasn't that big of a deal in the end. I think they were more hurt that she didn't tell them, rather than being upset that she decided to persue membership in the sorority.

Follow your heart in making the decision whether to persue membership in a sorority, but either way you need to be honest with your parents. You only live life once, so I say persue your dreams because you don't want to look back at your college experience with "I wish I would of done...."

[icicle22]

When my lil lil pledged she did not tell her parents that she was doing it because they were against it. It was hard for her to keep it a secret, she even had to take down sorority decorations in her room before her parents came up to visit. Bottom line, her parents found out after the dues checked cleared and it really wasn't that big of a deal in the end. I think they were more hurt that she didn't tell them, rather than being upset that she decided to persue membership in the sorority.

Follow your heart in making the decision whether to persue membership in a sorority, but either way you need to be honest with your parents. You only live life once, so I say persue your dreams because you don't want to look back at your college experience with "I wish I would of done...."
That's true. I really wouldn't want to remember my college experience and think about what I should have done...that really wouldn't make me too proud of it.

[icicle22]

I've decided on a course of action recently.
I am going to register for rush for next fall after the semester is over technically because by then my grades will be posted, and of course, my grades are really going to be the judging factor in whether or not I'm going to sign up for recruitment.
After that, if my grades are in good standing and I do sign up for rush, then I will approach the matter with my parents and tell them that I want to go through rush next fall and that it will be a great way to meet people. Isn't that what rush is all about, anyway?
Then afterwards, I can explain to them why I want to join a sorority.
It's probably not the best idea, but it's what I came up with.
What do you think?

[Drolefille]

I think it's a good idea. It gives them a way to get used to the idea. Then you come home/ call them talking about the cool girls you met at rush and they get the idea that not all sorority girls are party girls looking for their MRS degree.

It's not guaranteed that they'll see things your way, but it can't hurt! And I think your idea is a good one.

[icicle22]

Yeah. Truth is, I am very leery of approaching my parents head-on with the topic of wanting to join a sorority, so I eventually thought of registering for rush (which I will do) and then explaining to them on why I did it. It may work, it may not work. But at least, I will have made my decision to go through rush.

[Drolefille]

Good luck :)

Do you have any friends now who are currently in a sorority (sorry I haven't read your thread in a while) they might be able to vouch about it to your parents. Telling them you've been researching it online (aka GC) isn't a terrible idea either. Really we're just people. The partiers would have partied without letters, the rest of us just have fun hanging out :)

[icicle22]

Well, I have done a lot of online research on it, actually...such as benefits and the expenses/costs of being in a sorority. So that research will most likely help in the long run.
But as for friends who are actually in sororities, I mostly have non-Greek friends.

[UofISigKap]

Research is always a great idea for recruitment. It's far better to go in with at least some idea of what you're in for. With that said, you mentioned most of your friends are non-greeks. I know when I went thinking about and then going through recruitment, they weren't exactly the most supportive. Several actually said, "that's dumb! Why would you want to be with them?!. Now, some of them ask if I feel they missed out by not going through recuitment themselves...what do you say to that? I tell them it worked great for me, but they also had a great time in college without. (Hindsight is a wicked wicked thing.)

I paid for all my sorority costs myself, because my parents weren't against it, but they sure weren't going to pay for something they saw as "extra." I think they saw the benefits of Greek life after I was in. They are still seeing benefits now when I talk about the alumnae group and connections I make professionally.

[icicle22]

I've been also considering how my friends might view the whole idea of me going through rush, but then again, it would be their opinion and nothing more.
I am not too worried yet over the money aspect of membership since I am fairly focused on only rush right now...but I've done a lot of research on it all the same.

[ΑΓΔSquirrel10]

I've been also considering how my friends might view the whole idea of me going through rush, but then again, it would be their opinion and nothing more.

Just remember that you would be rushing only for yourself, and not for your friends. If your friends are really your true friends, then they will support your decision no matter what. When I pledged Alpha Gam, I did lose a friend or two, but it turns out that they were never my true friends anyway. Your real friends will stick by you. Good luck with rush :)

[Buttonz]

Just remember that you would be rushing only for yourself, and not for your friends. If your friends are really your true friends, then they will support your decision no matter what. When I pledged Alpha Gam, I did lose a friend or two, but it turns out that they were never my true friends anyway. Your real friends will stick by you. Good luck with rush :)

Same thing as above, just change Alpha Gam to SDT....

And I've recently semi reconnected with one of the friends that I lost..and another friend of mine who thought it was stupid at first wound up joining Phi Sig at her school the following spring.

[icicle22]

Just remember that you would be rushing only for yourself, and not for your friends. If your friends are really your true friends, then they will support your decision no matter what. When I pledged Alpha Gam, I did lose a friend or two, but it turns out that they were never my true friends anyway. Your real friends will stick by you. Good luck with rush :)
Well, that's true. :) Well, if friends don't support any decision that you make, then they are typically not true friends anyway.

[adpiucf]

I'd recommend waiting for your grades, sharing them with your parents and then after you talk about sororities together, then register for recruitment. There's no sense registering if you can't afford to join a sorority. Yes, recruitment is a great way to meet people, but it is also for those who have the intent to join a sorority. Make sure you have the support of your parents if they are the ones footing the bill, or get a summer job.

Good luck with your grades. Remember that this is also a prime time to get involved on campus and meet some new people, including sorority women.

[adpiucf]

I've been also considering how my friends might view the whole idea of me going through rush, but then again, it would be their opinion and nothing more.


99% of my non-Greek friends ended up rushing and pledging within 1-2 years of my joining ADPi because they saw what a great time I was having! We all joined different chapters and it was really great to have that connection of being Greek sisters together! Next month, one of the girls is getting married and her bridesmaids are all of us-- a Chi O, DDD, KD and ADPi! :) Talk about a Panhellenic circle!

[CZAXOTerp]

A benefit that hasn't been brought up too much is the whole networking thing- I know people talk about it, but it really does happen. I helped one of my sisters get a job w/ the company (a major international bank) more than 5 years ago (when we were 2 years out of school.) I got a 3.5K referral bonus and she got a great job- she is still w/ the firm and was promoted to VP this year. That same year I bumped into a guy I went to school who was on IFC we spoke about work & he said he would love to get his foot in the door w/ my firm- I gave him my card, he sent his resume and I got him a job and I got a 10K bonus for that one. Those 2 bonuses more than covered my 4 years of dues!
Even when I was in school I remember helping people find on-campus jobs, etc. I had a great campus job driving the golf course beverage cart- you made a decent hourly wage and got tips- meanwhile it was a job NO ONE knew about on our large campus. I did it my senior year and then handed it down to a few of my younger sisters when I graduated.
I am preparing to move from NYC to a much smaller city, and I have already reached out to women in my chapter who I haven't spoken to in years, to ask for advice on jobs and general info on the area.

I really don't know of many other organizations that afford you a lifetime of nationwide networking opportunities.

[icicle22]

I'd recommend waiting for your grades, sharing them with your parents and then after you talk about sororities together, then register for recruitment. There's no sense registering if you can't afford to join a sorority. Yes, recruitment is a great way to meet people, but it is also for those who have the intent to join a sorority. Make sure you have the support of your parents if they are the ones footing the bill, or get a summer job.

Good luck with your grades. Remember that this is also a prime time to get involved on campus and meet some new people, including sorority women.
Hmmm...well, that does seem pretty logical. Of course I originally planned to wait for my grades anyway, because they will be the judging factor in whether or not I register for rush.
But I guess I could also talk to my parents about sororities...I have done enough research on them as it is...and tell them that I plan to go through recuitment. They have said before that if I want to go for it, I should have the right to make that decision.