The dumbest office email ever

[adpiucf]

This is a real email. The names have been deleted to protect the innocent.

-----Original Message-----
From: Executive Assistant
Sent: Monday, November 28, 2005 11:09 AM
To: All
Subject: Microwave in Kitchen
Importance: High


From now on, per [INSERT NAME OF CEO], lunch hours are between 11:30-1:00. It is prohibited to use the microwave during regular business hours. There have been complaints regarding smells coming from foods cooked before regular lunch hours. This is to stop immediately!!

Thank you for you prompt attention regarding this matter!
[Insert name of office assistant]
Receptionist/ Administrative Assistant
Our Company, LP
123 Company Way
Big City, TX 00000-0000
000-000-0000
1-800-000-0000

[PhiPsiRuss]

Hey, he's letting you use the microwave at 3:00am, so that's not so bad.

[AchtungBaby80]

That's rather humorous...

[kddani]

I think there needs to be some people with special dietary needs that need to cook outside those hours! :p

[MTSUGURL]

"But sir, what if I bring something that doesn't smell?"

Guaranteed to have been thought of by at least 40% of employees...

[DeltAlum]

Microwaves can be the devil.

One place I worked had microwave popcorn. The small could bring business to a halt. Everyone wanted popcorn.

One night we were doing a huge production with a symphony orchestra in the studio and someone put a bag of microwave popcorn in the oven and set it for 20 minutes instead of 2, then promptly walked away and forgot about it.

The popcorn burned, the smoke set off the building smoke alarms and you can guess what that did to the production.

I could have written a great memo about that -- but there was a certain amount of humor in the situation, so I didn't.

[adpiucf]

The CEO has been out sick all week. He called yesterday to check in and to see how things were going, and his assistant told him that we have been cooking a lot of fish in the microwave during his absence! ;)

[Tickled Pink 2]

Originally posted by adpiucf
The CEO has been out sick all week. He called yesterday to check in and to see how things were going, and his assistant told him that we have been cooking a lot of fish in the microwave during his absence! ;)

Somehow, I KNEW fish was the culprit. Kinda stupid to waste time creating a memo and retriction based on that, though.:(

[KillarneyRose]

Maybe I'm strange, but it would never occur to me to complain about food smells eminating from a kitchen.

[kddani]

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
Maybe I'm strange, but it would never occur to me to complain about food smells eminating from a kitchen.

Unless it's burnt popcorn, because that's usually just due to pure stupidity.

There's one attorney here who burns her popcorn everytime she makes it- once every few weeks or so. There is a "popcorn" setting on the microwave that works PERFECTLY, but yet she still always burns it. You can smell it several floors away in the building!

[AlphaFrog]

I worked at a place where we had a "no seafood" rule because the kitchen was very close to the main room.

[KSigkid]

I've never really had a problem with it in any of the places where I've worked. If people don't like the smell of someone's lunch, they just keep it to themselves or complain quietly afterwards. It's never been such an issue where supervisors had to become involved.

[Lil' Hannah]

My boss has a very sensitive sense of smell and her office is right in front of the kitchen. She also can't stand the smell of coffee which is kind of funny. She deals with it but when someone cooks something smelly she gives them a hard time.

[ZTAngel]

We have a no popcorn and no seafood rule. I love the smell of popcorn so that makes me sad. I think they enforced the rule because it smells awful when it's burnt. The no seafood rule is a given. That became enforced a couple of months ago when someone warmed up some fish in the kitchen. The whole floor smelled like a rotting corpse.

[AOIIalum]

We've got a movie theater type popcorn popper at my office. I'm a lucky person.

[KSigkid]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
We have a no popcorn and no seafood rule. I love the smell of popcorn so that makes me sad. I think they enforced the rule because it smells awful when it's burnt. The no seafood rule is a given. That became enforced a couple of months ago when someone warmed up some fish in the kitchen. The whole floor smelled like a rotting corpse.

I can understand that. At one of my offices the lunch room was right near the desks, so if someone's meal had a particularly strong odor, it would linger for most of the rest of the day.

At my current office, though, the microwaves are on different floors, so it doesn't really bother anyone. I think people try to be respectful, though, in case there are meetings going on on those floors.

[AOX81]

That is dumb!

I think your CEO needs to worry about more important issues...

[aephi alum]

Okay. I can't use the microwave during normal business hours? I'll just nuke my tuna noodle casserole at 8:59 am and get everyone as they arrive in the morning. :p

At my office, the microwave (along with the coffee machine and water dispenser) is in a small room near one of the entrances onto the floor. If someone microwaves something stinky, and you use that entrance or you want coffee or water, you'll get hit, but smells don't waft out onto the floor. A lot of folks on my floor like Indian food, so there are always a few people heating up curries in the microwave, and I never smell it out on the floor (which makes me :( as I like Indian too).