Pledging and membership to pregnant women and single mothers

[blu_theatrics]

Hello sorors and sisterfriends,

I have a question for you all. I have seen this topic on here before, and have responded, but I wanted to know what you all thought about it.

How do you feel about young ladies who are single parents or teenage mothers who want membership into our illustrious organization or any other BGLO for that matter.

Before you answer, I also want you to think about how you feel about men who are teen parents who want membership into a fraternity?

Just curious as to what you all think. I am not tying to start a flame or anything, because I am positive that we can talk about this subject maturely being that we are ladies of RHOalty.

[sgrho_22]

I don't have any problems with teenage or single mother's being in our organization because we have to emeber all interests for undergrad has to have completed a certain amounts of semester of a 4 year college and be in college to even apply for membership.....and i think that we can all learn from each other...as far as grad don't forget again a 4 year college degree is required so I don't see a problem and I think that these people interests can only bring a new prespective to the chapter.

[RHOyal-Silence]

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT TWO LOVELY SORORS FROM MY CHAPTER JUST HAPPEN TO BE SINGLE MOTHERS. I HAVE A BETTER VIEW OF LIFE BECAUSE OF THEIR WISDOM AND INSIGHT OF CERTAIN THINGS. I COMMEND SINGLE MOTHERS WHO ARE FULL TIME STUDENTS, WORKING, AND WANT TO BE A MEMBER IN A SORORITY THAT REQUIRES A LOT OF TIME. THESE WOMEN ARE A LOT MORE MATURE AND THEY GET THE JOB DONE. I FEEL THAT SINGLE MOTHERS ARE NOT A BURDEN OR A BAD REPRESENTATION OF A SORORITY, BUT AN ASSET. IF THEY HAVE ALL OF THE REQUIREMENTS NEEDED PLUS THE TIME AND ENERGY NEEDED, THEN I AM READY TO WELCOME!!

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the sexiest ladies in the world are laced in rubies and pearls.

[EspeRHO]

Hi ladies. I just want to say that if a woman has it in her heart to be part of something, no matter if she is a single mother or teenager, then we should be proud of her. I myself am now a proud mother of a five month old son,and I think SGRHO will help me to become a better person and maybe even a better parent. Being a single mother teaches you things and you can pass those things on to your sorors. We should never turn away someone who is interested, because you never know what that person has to offer to us or any other org.

Sigma love to all

[A_RHOyal_Delight]

Esperho, you took the words right out of my mouth. Much love sister. I welcome all hard working women. It takes a lot of strength to hold down a family, a social life, and an academic life.

Delight

"Sigma, nobody does it better"

[blu_theatrics]

I am so happy to read this wonderful replies from you sorhors.

As many of you know I am the mother of a beutiful 3 (going on 20) year old boy and I really didn't see a problem, but on other forums I have constantly read how people felt that this should not be the case.

Thank you evryone for you responses.

[SDiva22]

I agree with all that has been said. I would like to know what do you think about a pregnant teenage girl joining the Rhoers?

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To give is better than to receive.

[SoloRHO]

Soror SDiva22,
I think that's an excellent question also. I've never thought about it until now, but I'd have to say that we should accept pregnant teenagers or teenage moms into the Rhoer club also. We know what our Rhoer club's purpose is. Those aims and ideals should be put towards ALL tenage girls. Maybe even MORE SO towards teenage moms. Their Rhoer club and mentors in the sorority can serve as a suport system for her in a situation where they might not get it from too many others. Also, we can better prepare those young ladies, and those not in that situation, to learn to care for their bodies and prevent unwanted pregnancies from happening (again). And if it does happen, we let them know that they can do it; they'll have a netowrk of supportive people who care about them, their children, their goals, their education, and their future! Also, they'd get a chance to see so many strong women (as we all are) and this would let them know that they can do it too!
So I'm all for it!

[blu_theatrics]

I think that that kind of support is exactly what a young mother needs too
Originally posted by SoloRHO:
Soror SDiva22,
I think that's an excellent question also. I've never thought about it until now, but I'd have to say that we should accept pregnant teenagers or teenage moms into the Rhoer club also. We know what our Rhoer club's purpose is. Those aims and ideals should be put towards ALL tenage girls. Maybe even MORE SO towards teenage moms. Their Rhoer club and mentors in the sorority can serve as a suport system for her in a situation where they might not get it from too many others. Also, we can better prepare those young ladies, and those not in that situation, to learn to care for their bodies and prevent unwanted pregnancies from happening (again). And if it does happen, we let them know that they can do it; they'll have a netowrk of supportive people who care about them, their children, their goals, their education, and their future! Also, they'd get a chance to see so many strong women (as we all are) and this would let them know that they can do it too!
So I'm all for it!

[Wynna]

This is a wonderful thought! If these young women are shunned everywhere they go there's no telling where they'll end up. I'm glad mentoring is a common goal among members of your sorority. That's beautiful!

In case you haven't guessed, I was a teenage mother and I would have loved to benefit from the caring support that you guys are exhibiting. On behalf of teenage mothers everywhere, thank you very much!

Originally posted by SoloRHO:
Soror SDiva22,
I think that's an excellent question also. I've never thought about it until now, but I'd have to say that we should accept pregnant teenagers or teenage moms into the Rhoer club also. We know what our Rhoer club's purpose is. Those aims and ideals should be put towards ALL tenage girls. Maybe even MORE SO towards teenage moms. Their Rhoer club and mentors in the sorority can serve as a suport system for her in a situation where they might not get it from too many others. Also, we can better prepare those young ladies, and those not in that situation, to learn to care for their bodies and prevent unwanted pregnancies from happening (again). And if it does happen, we let them know that they can do it; they'll have a netowrk of supportive people who care about them, their children, their goals, their education, and their future! Also, they'd get a chance to see so many strong women (as we all are) and this would let them know that they can do it too!
So I'm all for it!

[NinjaPoodle]

THis is a good topic. Let's discuss

[Senusret I]

I have an Alpha Phi Omega/Alpha Phi Alpha frat (we are both in Both, he pledged APO after me, I joined Alpha after him) who was a teenaged father...I guess his son is in the first grade now. I was surprised, but I love him just the same. I think he is a good role model to his son. Also, I think there was a very positive vibe passed on by having his toddler at the school on some weekends. Like, that's where daddy gets his education on...ya know?

My point....as long as you takin' care of bidness as a FATHER FIRST...be you an aspirant or Frat, then you are okay in my book.

Deadbeat dads get no vote from me.

[rho4life]

Originally posted by Senusret I
I have an Alpha Phi Omega/Alpha Phi Alpha frat (we are both in Both, he pledged APO after me, I joined Alpha after him) who was a teenaged father...I guess his son is in the first grade now. I was surprised, but I love him just the same. I think he is a good role model to his son. Also, I think there was a very positive vibe passed on by having his toddler at the school on some weekends. Like, that's where daddy gets his education on...ya know?

My point....as long as you takin' care of bidness as a FATHER FIRST...be you an aspirant or Frat, then you are okay in my book.

Deadbeat dads get no vote from me.

While it's great that your frat was able to be a father first, there is a HUGE difference between being an expectant mother and an expectant father. Being pregnant is stressful enough without having to worry about joining an organization. I've seen single mothers go through their process, and it was HARD. But, I would be inclined to tell a pregnant woman it just wasn't her time.

[Senusret I]

Originally posted by rho4life
While it's great that your frat was able to be a father first, there is a HUGE difference between being an expectant mother and an expectant father. Being pregnant is stressful enough without having to worry about joining an organization. I've seen single mothers go through their process, and it was HARD. But, I would be inclined to tell a pregnant woman it just wasn't her time.

I didn't think this whole thread was about comparing the two. Since I am not in a sorority, I can't answer what I might feel about a teenaged mother joining an organization, so I answered the part of the question that was directed to fraternity men.

[rho4life]

woo-saaa:p

no one get their panites in a bunch, I was just pointing out that physically men and women are differnt. To me it's a liablity to put a pregnant woman "on line". With men, that same issue does not exist.


Single parenthood is different.

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by rho4life
While it's great that your frat was able to be a father first, there is a HUGE difference between being an expectant mother and an expectant father. Being pregnant is stressful enough without having to worry about joining an organization. I've seen single mothers go through their process, and it was HARD. But, I would be inclined to tell a pregnant woman it just wasn't her time.

It is hard enough to balance sorority membership with motherhood when a woman has her child AFTER she joins. Doing it while one completes the membership process is way too stressful, (in addition to school and/or work) to be a worthwhile endeavor. I would be inclined to encourage a woman to seek membership after she has adjusted to motherhood.

While being part of a sorority would mean that the woman would have an additional support system in place, it is more important for a future mother to minimize stress.

[BlueReign]

Originally posted by TRSimon
It is hard enough to balance sorority membership with motherhood when a woman has her child AFTER she joins. Doing it while one completes the membership process is way too stressful, (in addition to school and/or work) to be a worthwhile endeavor. I would be inclined to encourage a woman to seek membership after she has adjusted to motherhood.

While being part of a sorority would mean that the woman would have an additional support system in place, it is more important for a future mother to minimize stress.

And even with "support systems" in place, it is still just too hard. I have had to step back some this year because it was all too much. I know that this is not a single dad/single mom debate issue going on here but there is a big difference.

[deuika]

One of my closet friends had a son in the Summer and just went over in a D9 organization Spr 2k4. Now, while I have my personal opinions on single parenthood I don't think that a person having a child should be a problem as far as membership. My friend put in overtime to be a part of her organization and she is one of the best people I know, so I'm sure she will be an attribute. She told me that she really wanted to set a good example for her daughter. Though she's not proud of being a single parent, she says that she intends to show her child that all things can be accomplished through hard work.

Pregnant during the process though? That's a bit much. Then again, would any pregnant woman actually attempt to go through the process at that time? I'm sure that would be more than anyone would be willing to bite into. Heck, my cousin told me "Make sure you take the minimum amount of hours and don't have a job during that semester, or you'll be drowning in your own schedule."

Now, with all that going on, pregnancy TOO? I think any woman who attempts during pregnancy should be asked to come back some other time.

[rho4life]

bump........

Since it is fall, and I know many of my lovely Sorors are meeting new ladies who may be interested in our blue-tiful sisterhood........perhaps this is a topic we need to reconsider.

Poodles!:cool:

[Chiante9]

I do agree that single mothers should be able to join GLO but because parenting in itself requires a lot of time and commitment, they should make sure they'll have the time to do both. I am a single mother and my lovely Sorhors welcomed me and my daughter with open arms and have been a great support system. My daughter now has lots of "aunts" - probably more than she'd like. ;)

As for pregnant women, I think they should wait because pregnancy is stressful all by itself.

[TRSimon]

Originally posted by deuika
Pregnant during the process though? That's a bit much. Then again, would any pregnant woman actually attempt to go through the process at that time? I'm sure that would be more than anyone would be willing to bite into.

You'd be surprised. Sometimes women feel like they can take on the world when they are expecting. I still wouldn't advise it though, because reality would kick in sooner or later and it wouldn't be pretty.

;)

[SeriousSigma22]

Sorhors and Friends of Sigma,

This story is a little different, one of our sorhors was married, graduate advisor to the undergraduate chapter and she basically brought in 12 young ladies in the spring of 1992 at Delaware State College (Univ.) by herself, however, she carried her child for the full 9 months but the child died during childbirth. I just believe that trying to be a wife, mother, in the Airforce Reserves, a full time graduate student and in charge of membership was just too much for her and the child.

I believe that a person should wait because your life and the life of your unborn child is too precious to put in harms way.



Serioussigma22;)