Wow....

[lifesaver]

If you're ever having a bad day, cruise this site.

For those of us that are single, there is hope....

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/statelistings.asp

Check out your state...

[OTW]

Dammit they only have ONE prisoner for the entire state of Hawai`i.

Jason's earliest release date could come next month on 11/12, LOL. At least he's in for just auto theft!

[valkyrie]

OMG there's a former client of mine on that site. Damn, I wouldn't mind writing him a letter but I'd be afraid that he'd think I'm wookin pa nub in all the wrong places or something.

[lifesaver]

I'm a fan of artistic freedom, but damn.

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-78314

So whats the deal? Is he missing? Why'd they call in a sketch artist, was there a crime invol.... oh, ok. Maybe thats the sketch they used when he stole that bitches car.

Priceless.

[AlphaGamDiva]

lmao......aww, it's kinda sad how it's all: "writeaprisoner.com introduces...."

like it's some dating show.

write a prisoner = the dating game.

:eek:


ETA: "we'll see you at mail call"

saweet a$$.....i couldn't imagine anything more romantic -sigh-

and this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-163450a1)...."my teeth are not yellow, they are white, i promise" well, thank gawd for that.

[lifesaver]

I'm tellin ya'll. I'm having more fun with this.

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-242806

Good to see he got locked up with his homies.

Word.

[AlphaGamDiva]

trying

so

hard

to

look

away.

don't

want

to

laugh

but

have

no

choice.

i mean, i kinda feel SORRY for these ppl, then i see what they are in there for (attempt to manufacture and distribute pornography), and then i'm like "eh"

LMAO....thanks for this, andy, you're a gem. ;)

[IowaStatePhiPsi]

Found 2 cute guys in the Iowa prison system. Maybe I'll send a letter.

[Sister Havana]

Okay, so this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-b04170) sounds like your average Sensitive Male in his description. He even writes a poem! Then look down and see what he is in for...MURDER. :eek:

For the guys looking for women and can't find any on that site, here you go: http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/. Unfortunately they don't tell you what they're in for, but that's why you write! :D

[Sister Havana]

Originally posted by IowaStatePhiPsi
Found 2 cute guys in the Iowa prison system. Maybe I'll send a letter.

Here's (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-r01161) an Illinois guy you might like. :D

[winnieb]

These are very entertaining. Although my husband just told me not to even think of writing to a prisoner, like I would! --what's he thinkikng?

Here's one for ya.... "a million ways to appreciate a woman" was used many times in his letter--- scroll down and he is in for rape!!
http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-520743

[lifesaver]

Were all gonna burn in hell for this. But its so damn much fun.

lifesaver counting down till someone on GC who has to feel holier than thou jumps on our asses about being mean spirited and how we must think were better than these people.

But in the meantime:

http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/men/james-1027.htm

All I can think of when I look at this kid is Pearl Jam. Apparently, Jeremy Spoke in Class Today.

Also, Jude Law is in jail. See: http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/men/brian-1466.htm

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by Sister Havana
Here's (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-r01161) an Illinois guy you might like. :D

"Upon my release I will continue education to eventually earn my doctorate in Clinical Psychology. I may be moving to the Chicago area to start anew."

So I guess he dosent know that having been in JAIL for 8 years for criminal assault kinda procludes him from getting ANY job EVER in that field, right?

Nice to see they allow peeps on lockdown hair products.

[RedRoseSAI]

Originally posted by lifesaver
Also, Jude Law is in jail. See: http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/men/brian-1466.htm



HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[PM_Mama00]

Originally posted by lifesaver


Also, Jude Law is in jail. See: http://www.meet-an-inmate.com/men/brian-1466.htm

AND he was born in 2008!

[Sister Havana]

Here's (http://www.writeaprisoner.com/birthdays-prisonpenpals.asp) where you can find all the prisoners celebrating birthdays this month, in case you want to send cards.

Hey, it's this guy's (http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-15133058) birthday today! He is a day older than me. If there's such a thing as being too muscular, I think this guy qualifies.

This guy (http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-258997) is exactly a year younger than me. I'd have sent a birthday card but it wouldn't get there in time. :D

This guy (http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-807326) is one day younger than me and says "I assure you this place only contains my body. My heart, soul, and thoughts are free to be with you." Well! That's good to know!

Lifesaver, I'm joining you on that bus to hell. :D

[Sister Havana]

This guy (http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-224083) wants a girl that will blow on his dice...huh huh huh...

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Lifesaver, thank you for showing us this website, thank you. :)

[PhiPsiRuss]

I wrote to all of the ones in Delaware, Maine and Rhode Island.

[abaici]

Originally posted by AlphaGamDiva
lmao......aww, it's kinda sad how it's all: [b]this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-163450a1)...."my teeth are not yellow, they are white, i promise" well, thank gawd for that.


How about yellow teeth guys poem...
Loving a Prisoner

Loving a prisoner isn´t easy to do.
Nobody knows this better than you.
It only gets harder day by day.
So giving me your heart is a high price to pay.
Promise to me saying you´ll wait.
Knowing someday they will open the gate.

LOL!!! Ok, and the sensitive man gets out in 2026?!?! Ok, this is sooooooooo funny!!

[Sister Havana]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
I wrote to all of the ones in Delaware, Maine and Rhode Island.

And I wrote to all the ones in Alaska, since you missed that state.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by Sister Havana
And I wrote to all the ones in Alaska, since you missed that state. Thanks for catching that one.

[Sister Havana]

This guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-n80210) begins his ad: Do you like rough neck men who can also be fun, adventurous, wild and affectionate with pleasure you can´t measure? If so, look no further, you´ve found one.

Is it any surprise he's in for burglary and a SEX OFFENSE?

[sugar and spice]

Okay.

I looked through the Wisconsin guys. This one was my favorite:

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-148068a

Incarcerated for: Batt., sex. asst., poss. frm, etc.

First of all, when you have so many things that you have to abbreviate them just to get them to fit in the box, that = not good.

Second of all: ET CETERA? Etc. is for grocery lists. Etc. is not for lists of crimes. Bwahahaha.


ETA: http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-386757

"I am divorced and when I was on the outside, my children, two girls and two boys, were my number one interest. They still are, but I don’t get to see them at all."

Incarcerated for: child enticement. Oh my loooord.

[PhiPsiRuss]

Originally posted by sugar and spice
Okay.

I looked through the Wisconsin guys. This one was my favorite:

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-148068a

Incarcerated for: Batt., sex. asst., poss. frm, etc.

First of all, when you have so many things that you have to abbreviate them just to get them to fit in the box, that = not good.

Second of all: ET CETERA? Etc. is for grocery lists. Etc. is not for lists of crimes. Bwahahaha. He wrote, "I'm hoping to meet open minded people" so don't hate.

[Sister Havana]

This guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-10194519) wrote a poem that begins "The power of a gun can kill
and the power of fire can burn." He's in jail for...attempted murder. Insert your own joke here.
:D

[PhiPsiRuss]

Dark and lonely on a summer's night.

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking. Do he bite?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Slip in his window. Break his neck.

Then his house I start to wreck.

Got no reason. What the heck?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

C-I-L my land lord!

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Originally posted by PhiPsiRuss
Dark and lonely on a summer's night.

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking. Do he bite?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

Slip in his window. Break his neck.

Then his house I start to wreck.

Got no reason. What the heck?

Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.

C-I-L my land lord!

That was one of the funniest things on SNL ever.

[sugar and spice]

I shared this website with my friends and they found some gems.

Stripper killer!

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-311676

Pirate pants!

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1243082

Crazy cat lady!

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-w57881

This one's my favorite because she actually says that she works well on a team and would make a "great partner-in-crime." Funniest joke EVER.

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-698379

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by sugar and spice


This one's my favorite because she actually says that she works well on a team and would make a "great partner-in-crime." Funniest joke EVER.

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-698379

Dont forget she says shes a slow reader too. lol.

This site is like CRACK.

[Jen]

LMAO....from one of the women:

"I have no obligations in Missouri, so if the chance to relocate arises, that is definitely an option for me."

Chance to relocate comes whenever she finishes the escape tunnel lol.


"As you know, I'm 29 years old and in prison for First Degree Assault with a Deadly Weapon. Nobody was actually injured in my crime, except a house. "

LOL. Yes, the damage was so extensive he's not getting out til 2008 lol.


"Most people believe that a man who keeps his body in top physical condition is shallow or vain, but I am proof that this is not so."

In for: Manufacturing steroids lol

"Don’t let those two words “life sentence” deter you from meeting a great guy."

In for: 1st degree murder


Oh I'm going to hell with gasoline underwear on lol.....this is too much fun!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Anyone else notice how many of these guys are NASCAR fans?

(on a slight political rant, I really sympathize with the ones who are locked up for non-violent drug-related crimes. that is crap)

[abaici]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby

(on a slight political rant, I really sympathize with the ones who are locked up for non-violent drug-related crimes. that is crap)


Me too!! It's the liberal in me. I can't help it :)

[TigerLilly]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
(on a slight political rant, I really sympathize with the ones who are locked up for non-violent drug-related crimes. that is crap)

Same here. Makes me sad.

[Sister Havana]

This guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1144644) says "Sexually, I'm not very experienced."

Then you scroll down and he is in for...3rd Sexual Abuse.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by abaici
Me too!! It's the liberal in me. I can't help it :)

Seriously. And I've noticed that some of these people in there on drug-related charges are in there for longer than some of the people on murder charges. Obviously there's got to be a reason for some of that, but for the most part I think that's ridiculous.

And to be fair, Sister Havana, 3rd degree sexual assault usually involves, say, grabbing somebody's boobs without their consent. For him to be in there until '08 for that, he must have done it a number of times -- but I'm still not sure that constitutes "sexually experienced." ;)

[kddani]

Originally posted by Sister Havana
This guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1144644) says "Sexually, I'm not very experienced."

Then you scroll down and he is in for...3rd Sexual Abuse.

You totally forgot the part where he said he's attracted to men too!

[ZTAngel]

I'm laughing more at the people who actually write to these prisoners rather than the prisoners themselves!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Anyone else thinkthis guy (http://www.writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-c10100) gets his ass beat for crocheting in jail?

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

This cracks me up (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1105770)

So I guess bank robbery is ok if you don't do it violently?!

Man this site is so funny and I have been laughing my ass off for the last 30 minutes instead of studying. Oops. :p

[lifesaver]

Originally posted by FAB*SpiceySpice
This cracks me up (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1105770)

So I guess bank robbery is ok if you don't do it violently?!



Who gets 50 years for robbing a bank with a note?

Guess it must have been a really mean note.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by lifesaver
Who gets 50 years for robbing a bank with a note?

Guess it must have been a really mean note.

*snorts*


Some of these people I really do feel bad for, in a twisted sort of way -- but then there are others who seem to take NO responsibility for their actions whatsoever. "I've made mistakes and learned from them" is one thing . . . "I got caught in a bad situation" is another entirely. Take some damn responsibility! There are plenty of people out there who get caught in tough spots and don't pull a trigger on anybody.

[lyrica9]

all the cute ones are in for murder:p

[ZTAngel]

Look at this hot thing:

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-q08300

(snicker)

[kddani]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
Look at this hot thing:

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-q08300

(snicker)

it should've read "bisexual beach boy"

it really seems like there's an inordinate amount of guys who classify themselves as bi in these personals as opposed to the population at large. Hmmm.... something about prison....

[PoohsHoneyBee]

me and my friend ryan are going to get a p.o. box and write to a whole bunch of people and see what they say....



:D

[FAB*SpiceySpice]

this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-507596) is apparently very nice and caring, treats women with respect...scroll down and see that he's in for aggravated sexual assault. AWESOME!

Here (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-869977) we have a good person with a caring heart...despite the fact that he's in there for aggravated sexual assault on a minor...

This dude (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-799622) has been in jail since he was 14 it looks like. For capital murder! WTF?!

I have no words for this... (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-746881)

Internet pharmacy?! (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-29679177)

This one (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-755272) is loving, caring, sweet, open minded, etc. And oh yeah he's in for murder by the way...

:confused: :eek:

Ok I am done, this is so funny though...I am definitely going straight to hell for this.

[AlphaGamDiva]

i don't understand why and where this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-146326) found a cat and lost his shirt..... :confused:

[adpialumcsuc]

Ok this site is too funny!!!

[DigitalAngel126]

Wait, does anyone else think that Orvis here looks like a downtrodden Ben Affleck??

http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-1144644

[tunatartare]

Bumping this because it's just too damn hysterical. THANK YOU lifesaver for posting this. It hasn't done much for the essay I'm writing or my friend's lab. :)

[aurora_borealis]

My former job had me doing mail orders for text books, and we dealt a lot with the state prison system as while doing time they enroll for distance education classes.

I completely recognized a name and can I just say he is WAY creepier than I could ever imagine? This is so being emailed to my former coworkers.

As an aside, I know which town has our state mental hospital with a prison wing, and amusingly enough that town's high school mascot is "The Maniacs"! You can't make stuff like that up.

[AlphaGamDiva]

damn this website!!!!!

what about this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-35012037).....time is running out, ladies. better hurry before he's back out on the streets. :rolleyes:

the second lil paragraph here (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-43743083) is PRICELESS. mars bars????? lol

and the quality of this guy's (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-v31969) picture is just too great for words.


this is evil!!! :D

[Sister Havana]

I remember reading an article about this woman (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-864800) in Sassy magazine many years ago. At the time, she was on Death Row and it was very controversial because she was only 15 when she was convicted. It was a really interesting article. Apparently she is no longer on Death Row.

[preciousjeni]

Originally posted by FAB*SpiceySpice
I have no words for this... (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-746881)
"I love a complicated woman with a bunch of social problems and low self esteem; someone that needs my love."

Wow. Now that is something truly serious. I don't even know what to say about this site except that it is now my favorite website of all time. OH...MY...GRACIOUS.

I checked out the home skillets from Georgia and it scared me very much. What's even scarier? I know women in Georgia who would eat this mess up! I'm talking about some of my not-friends-with-anymore-shawties-from-another-more-frightening-life. That was unnecessarily long. I'm sorry.

[preciousjeni]

By the way, how are these folks getting to pose for their pics? I assume most pics are pre-arrest but some are obviously in prison garb, leg hiked up on a step. What's that about?

Oh, if someone finds an ad talking about Honey Buns, PLEASE post it. I will print it out for my door.

[ZTAngel]

There was an article in a magazine I was reading about this guy (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-29679177). The article was saying that he started an internet pharmacy and got in trouble for filling prescriptions illegally. One of the prescriptions he filled illegally ended up killing some high school kid. I was reading the article and thinking, "Hey, I think I remember him from Write a Prisoner!"

[FHwku]

Kentucky only had 3 women up there, so i checked out Texas.
pretty cute and i think we can work out the trust issues of her ever stealing my stuff.

bonita (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-803424)

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Dude!!! I could totally wave hi to Eddie (http://writeaprisoner.com/template.asp?i=z-132990557410b) every morning on my way to work!!!

Seriously, this made my day!:D