Alumnae initiation

[trojangal]

Hi!

I just found out about alumnae initiation programs! I didn't have the chance to be in a GLO in college, and am thrilled to hear that NPC groups offer women a chance to join afterwards.

What do I need to do? Where do I need to go for help with this?

I'm looking for advice and assistance. I live in the Birmingham, Alabama, area and would like to know what I need to get started. I have made contact with one organization's HQ, and they have been very responsive!!

Looking forward to being a PNAM!



:)

[wrigley]

Hi trojangal,

Click on the following thread and you can sift through countless examples of women who were able to achieve their dream of alumnae initiation.

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=208


Good luck.:)

[navane]

Hi trojangal!

I'm glad to hear that we have another potential AI!

We used to have a couple of very informative threads which covered the AI process extensively. Unfortunately, they seemed to have disappeared a few of days ago when GC went down for a day. :(

It sounds like you started off on the right foot by contacting the HQ of the organization you are interested in. There are 26 sororities in the National Panhellenic Conference, but not all of them do alumnae initiation. You can get all of the links to the all of the 26 NPCs at http://www.npcwomen.org. Many of them have information right on their website about whether or not they do AI. For others you may have to ask the HQ.

Normally, one would research the orgs to see:

- which orgs seem to click with you (their beliefs, philanthropies, etc)
- which orgs have alumnae and collegiate chapters near you

Since you've already contacted the HQ and gotten a response, normally the next step would be for the HQ to put you in contact with the alumnae chapter in your area. Someone from the alumnae chapter would then invite you around to a few events so you all can meet each other. Anywhere from 2 months to 1+ years later, you or they may decide it's not a good fit, or you may be invited to become a sister!

I want to make it very clear right away that it may take a LONG time to hear back from an alumnae from your group, take a LONG time before the next event, take a LONG time to be invited to join and then a LONG time to wait until the next initiation. Be patient and know that it's often a frustrating waiting game. Obviously, the local alumnae members have full-time jobs and such and your e-mails sometimes get lost in the shuffle.

I was just initiated as a Gamma Phi Beta alumna at the international convention in Chicago almost two months ago! It took me a very, very long time, but I made it in the end! :)

If you just happen to be looking at Gamma Phi Beta, feel free to PM me! Also, there are loads of other alumnae initiates from orgs like Alpha Phi, Alpha Gamma Delta, Tri Delta, Alpha Omicron Pi, Delta Gamma and more! If not, there are lots of helpful ladies from other orgs too!

If you have any specific questions, do ask us! We're eager to help! :D

.....Kelly :)

[pinkyphimu]

good luck on your search! this is a long process, but it is definately worth it! there are plenty of experienced women on this board and will be able to answer your questions!

have fun!

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Also, if there are members of the group you are looking at feel free to pm one or two of them. I have helped a number of PNAM's get hooked up with our alumnae chapters and I'm helping a local women with our AI process as well.

But as has been said, be patient. The level of AI experience varies both among the different NPC's but also among the varous alum chapters of a specific GLO. I know that a few of our alum chapters have given AI's wrong answers to the question of whether we do AI.

Good Luck.........

[trojangal]

Hello friends!

Thanks so much for the encouragment! I've already started looking at different organizations and sending email to their Headquarters. I'm looking forward to hearing their responses as I work my way through this.

Apparently, there are several alumnae groups here in the Birmingham, Alabama, area.

I have a few questions:
--Is it appropriate for me to contact the alumnae group myself, or should I wait until directed from the HQ?
--If I know someone who is in a GLO who does AI, would it be appropriate to approach them?
--Is it more common to have sponsors when you start, or is it better to have someone sponsor you from the local alumnae group?

Also, do we have any more new PNAMs out there this fall?

Cheryl
:D

[Measi]

Hi Cheryl~

There are a few of us out there looking, yes. :) I'm crossing my fingers... I have a couple of possible leads, and I'm hoping I find a "home" in one of them!

Best of luck on your search!

~ Mel.

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

It is fine for you to contact the Alumnae group yourself.

Be discrete though if you are contacting more than one group.....

An alumnae chapter isn't going to want to devote fully to you if they know that you are also looking around at other groups.

[aopirose]

Originally posted by trojangal
I have a few questions:
--Is it appropriate for me to contact the alumnae group myself, or should I wait until directed from the HQ?
--If I know someone who is in a GLO who does AI, would it be appropriate to approach them?
--Is it more common to have sponsors when you start, or is it better to have someone sponsor you from the local alumnae group?

Cheryl
:D


1. Not for AOII. For those interested in AOII, please contact our Alumnae Services Admistrator at HQ before contacting the local chapter. She will make the introduction if you do not know anyone in the chapter. http://www.alphaomicronpi.org/content/frames/directoryframe.html

2. Use your connections by all means.

3. I am not certain how common it is to have sponsors before you start. If that is your case then you are very fortunate. Also, in AOII, your sponsor must be local.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[emleepc]

Just wanted to say good luck on your search in Birmingham, AL. It's always great to hear of a fellow Birminghamian!!!!!

[Breeza00]

Hello All!I was wondering of someone could help me get started with the AI process?? I would love to be a PNM!!!

[navane]

Welcome Breeza00!

If you have specific questions about exactly what you mean by needing "help", we'd be happy to answer them! :)

However, you may want to check out the specific links we've already posted. In this thread, Wrigley posted the link to our Alumni Initiation Forum. Here it is again:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=208

There have been countless numbers of Potential New Alumnae Members (PNAMs) here at GreekChat - I'm sure our threads have already answered almost any question you may have. Do read through the threads in the Alumni Initiation Forum thoroughly - there are informational threads about which organizations to contact as well as tips to get you started. You may want to start your own topic there so we have offer you specific help.

.....Kelly :)

[Munchkin03]

Originally posted by Breeza00
Hello All!I was wondering of someone could help me get started with the AI process?? I would love to be a PNM!!!

:eek:

[Unregistered-]

Originally posted by Munchkin03
:eek:

:eek: is right.

[Breeza00]

Originally posted by navane
Welcome Breeza00!

If you have specific questions about exactly what you mean by needing "help", we'd be happy to answer them! :)

However, you may want to check out the specific links we've already posted. In this thread, Wrigley posted the link to our Alumni Initiation Forum. Here it is again:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/forumdisplay.php?s=&forumid=208

There have been countless numbers of Potential New Alumnae Members (PNAMs) here at GreekChat - I'm sure our threads have already answered almost any question you may have. Do read through the threads in the Alumni Initiation Forum thoroughly - there are informational threads about which organizations to contact as well as tips to get you started. You may want to start your own topic there so we have offer you specific help.

.....Kelly :)

Thanks Kelly!
What I meant is I was wondering if there is anyone that is willing to be a sponsor ect..
I am new to this and dont know where to begin! Thanks for replying and trying to help!

[Breeza00]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
:eek: is right.


Whats the:eek: for???

[navane]

Originally posted by Breeza00
Thanks Kelly!
What I meant is I was wondering if there is anyone that is willing to be a sponsor ect..
I am new to this and dont know where to begin! Thanks for replying and trying to help!

Breeza,

PLEASE read the forum at the link I gave you. You will find information there about how to find a sponsor for the sorority you are interested in. Honestly, people here will need to know more about you before jumping up to sponsor you into a sisterhood.

Your best bet is to contact the Headquarters of the sorority you are interested so that someone can introduce you to a local alumnae chapter which, in turn, can find you a sponsor if you all agree to go ahead with AI. That is, in general, an alumna member from the town where you live sponsors you.

.....Kelly :)

[tinydancer]

When i started out, the first thing I did was to think of who I knew PERSONALLY (and fairly well) who is a sorority member. I think that having a close acquaintance who may be willing to sponsor you is of first and foremost importance. You may know of more than you think.

[blueGBI]

*headdesk*:eek: :confused:

[Unregistered-]

Someone please explain to me how anyone...ANYONE on GC can be ready and willing to sponsor a "PNAM" based on 5 posts/PMs alone?

:eek:

Obviously I'm not an AI, but I know many who wouldn't even think of asking anyone for advice/sponsorship/hand holding PERIOD, let alone from total strangers, let alone online...and I'm shocked as to how forward some of these more recent AI threads have been.

[Jen]

AI is still a fairly rare (and for some organizations, extremely rare) process.

The worst way to go about it is to announce your intentions to the world in hopes someone will jump out of the woodwork and without even meeting you, suggest you join their sorority.

It is all about DISCRETION. You don't ask strangers to sponsor you. Finding a sponsor takes a lot more than hitting up strangers on a message board.

You do research. You see which organizations have AI. You see which fit your own beliefs and "speak" to you. You narrow the field. You do research and find out how to contact the group on the national level. If the national organization allows interested people to contact them about AI, then you do so, and allow THEM to contact a local chapter for you. You wait to be contacted and invited to an event and you put your best foot forward and see if that group is a fit for you and if you are a fit for that group. You may be, you may not be.

You are patient, you are professional about it.

If it's something you are truly interested in, you will do your research and find the proper channels. You will know WHY you want to join, what you want to accomplish as a member and what you can offer the group. You will be prepared to wait YEARS if necessary for things to happen.

AI is not a quick and easy way to join a sorority, and it may not happen, just as some PNMs don't find a home during recruitment at the collegiate level. But if you want to boost your chances, do your homework first.

[LouisaMay]

I believe that the many success stories and rapidly growth threads have given posters a slanted view of what Alumnae Initiation is all about. This is not anyone's fault, but a quick glance at the AI board could make a new GC-er mistakenly believe that AI is something that you can "sign-up" for. (And I don't believe that I can say this about Breeza00 since I haven't even heard her story yet.)

Trust me, ladies and gentlemen. AI is hard. It is a real honor to be asked to join an organization beyond its usual parameters for membership. When you approach an organization about AI, you are basically saying, "I understand that your members are selected during their college years, but I believe that I could bring something special to your organization and that I would benefit from the bonds of membership. Could you please make an exception for me?" That takes guts! And it takes a lot of trust and faith in you and your sponsor for the organization to say "yes." The AI journey is VERY humbling!

I know that I look like a good candidate on paper. I've got a great academic record, good service experience, and a strong career path, but I also understand that in order for an organization to extend an invitation to me at this stage in my life, they must see me as an exceptional case, worthy of an out-of-the-ordinary procedure.

Even though AI is growing, it is still the exception...not the rule.

Sincerely,
LouisaMay
(a PNAM who has learned a lot in the last fourteen months)

[LouisaMay]

Having said that...

Breeza00, I sincerely hope that you do have a successful journey. As you can see, AI holds a lot of emotional weight for many of us. For me, it is the answer to a lifelong ambition. I remember seeing stuff about sororities on The Facts of Life when I was very young, and from then on, membership was something that I REALLY wanted. Life threw me some curves. I made some decisions that I regret, but now I see AI as another chance. If sorority membership is something that you will hold close to your heart, GO FOR IT!!:)

LM

[navane]

I hope I didn't come across too harsh on Breeza, I was trying to be careful.

My concern is for when people appear to not have taken any initiative to find out information for themselves - especially when people in this forum (like aopirose, CutiePie2000, myself and many others) have posted lots of instructional information in the AI forum.



It's one thing to come on here and say, "I've looked at the various groups and I have it narrowed down to two that I love. Should I e-mail the International Headquarters or a local alum group?" It's another thing to say "I want to be an AI, some one help me get started" in a manner which implies that you expect others to do all of the work for you. :o

How can we be expected help someone when we are given no starting points to work with? For example, statements like, "I am interested in a group that doesn't have a chapter near me" would give us ideas of what to suggest for advice. Breeza didn't do that....she just said "help me". Because said she was really new at this and didn't know where to start, I directed her to read the threads that have information for people who fit that bill.

It's ok to be new and not know where to start! I just want people interested in AI to understand that we've already covered most questions and that the information should be reviewed before asking further questions.

.....Kelly :)

[LouisaMay]

No, Kelly. I thought you handled things beautifully. Your responses were appropriate given the information that you had to work with.

LM:)

[roqueemae]

I work in Greek Affairs as a Graduate Assistant. I had a girl call today who is in first semester of Grad School and would like to join a GLO. The ones she mentioned are not eligible for COR (at total) and will be for a while. Is AI an option for her? I called a few advisors and they were not too receptive about her going through Recruitment in the Fall (1-she will be graduating not ling after, 2-our school has no older members) I don't want to discourage her, but I know she needs to understand what she is up against.

[aopirose]

roqueemae,

If your school has no specific recruitment rules against graduate student participation, you can’t stop her. (Sometimes policies were written so long ago that things are just understood.) You can gently explain to her that because she is a graduate student her chances are VERY limited.

To answer your specific question, “Is AI an option for her,” it could be. It just depends on a lot of factors. Does she know women who are members of her “favorites”? She could offer to volunteer at an open event like a philanthropy project. Have any of these chapters mentioned that they may need a little extra assistance in a certain area? For instance, they would like to do an auction and this young woman happens to be a licensed auctioneer. This could be an introduction to the group.

I know that all of the NPCs on your campus do AI. However, each group’s policy is different and each alumnae chapter is different. Some may be willing to speak with an unknown woman and others will be adamantly against it. AI is not an easy road for some and it is not a quick fix. Most often women must demonstrate years of dedication to an organization and its ideals before they are invited. In reality, AI is an honor and not an option.

[Breeza00]

You know,
I came to this board in hopes to find out more about the AI process. I am not the type to sit on my azz and read a bunch of crap to find out stuff. I like to get straigt to the point and obviously I offended some people by being straight and open. I simply wanted to know how I would go about getting started and I am getting talked about on here like I committed a crime! I took it on myself to contact a GLO Headquaters and they are being extremely helpful. I dont think you should bash someone for wanting to findout for about your sisterhood and possibly become a sister! Thats extremely rude!

[JennRN]

Originally posted by LouisaMay

Trust me, ladies and gentlemen. AI is hard. It is a real honor to be asked to join an organization beyond its usual parameters for membership. When you approach an organization about AI, you are basically saying, "I understand that your members are selected during their college years, but I believe that I could bring something special to your organization and that I would benefit from the bonds of membership. Could you please make an exception for me?" That takes guts! And it takes a lot of trust and faith in you and your sponsor for the organization to say "yes." The AI journey is VERY humbling!



I know this isn't the topic, but I would like to say that this is a wonderful, wonderful description of the AI process. Beautifully written, LouisaMay.

[bekibug]

I have a question too.

I met a girl the other night who had graduated in the last year. We got to talking, and she's pretty awesome. She said she regretted never having joined a sorority in college, especially since all her friends were in them. I told her about AI, and she seemed pretty interested.

Anyway, I gave her my email address and my National's email so she could find out more about it.

Now, was that the right thing to do, or should I have waited for more of my sisters to meet her? In retrospect, probably yes, but I got the feeling that if she were an undergrad, she would have been a girl I'd be interested in keeping during recruitment. I didn't commit to anything, just gave her contact info to find out more about it.

[Jill1228]

No, you did the right thing! You gave her your contact and the national's email. Now the ball is in HER court. She contacts Nationals and goes over what they give her and then let her decide if she wants to proceed. If she has any questions, she might contact you...

For now the ball is in her court

Originally posted by bekibug
I have a question too.

I met a girl the other night who had graduated in the last year. We got to talking, and she's pretty awesome. She said she regretted never having joined a sorority in college, especially since all her friends were in them. I told her about AI, and she seemed pretty interested.

Anyway, I gave her my email address and my National's email so she could find out more about it.

Now, was that the right thing to do, or should I have waited for more of my sisters to meet her? In retrospect, probably yes, but I got the feeling that if she were an undergrad, she would have been a girl I'd be interested in keeping during recruitment. I didn't commit to anything, just gave her contact info to find out more about it.

[tunatartare]

Originally posted by bekibug
I have a question too.

I met a girl the other night who had graduated in the last year. We got to talking, and she's pretty awesome. She said she regretted never having joined a sorority in college, especially since all her friends were in them. I told her about AI, and she seemed pretty interested.

Anyway, I gave her my email address and my National's email so she could find out more about it.

Now, was that the right thing to do, or should I have waited for more of my sisters to meet her? In retrospect, probably yes, but I got the feeling that if she were an undergrad, she would have been a girl I'd be interested in keeping during recruitment. I didn't commit to anything, just gave her contact info to find out more about it.
Does Alpha Xi have a time period for which a woman has to be out of college before she can be eligible for AI?

[33girl]

Originally posted by Breeza00
I am not the type to sit on my azz and read a bunch of crap to find out stuff.

I would think twice about posting things like this - you never know who is lurking on these boards and who could be a potential sponsor, and who might be turned off by such comments.

OTW, to be fair, this forwardness isn't just AI - I find the random posts on national and local sorority guestbooks that say "I need a rec, can you please give me one" and "I'm going to pledge XYZ when I get to college, how much are dues?" absolutely ghastly in their lack of restraint or discretion.

Think about how you would feel if someone actually said this to you in real life, before you write it on a guestbook or message board!!

[WCUgirl]

Originally posted by KLPDaisy
Does Alpha Xi have a time period for which a woman has to be out of college before she can be eligible for AI? Not that I'm aware of.

tcsparky would know. Also, I'm willing to bet AlphaXiGirl or AZ-AlphaXi would know. I'll PM one of them.

[tunatartare]

Originally posted by 33girl
I would think twice about posting things like this - you never know who is lurking on these boards and who could be a potential sponsor, and who might be turned off by such comments.

OTW, to be fair, this forwardness isn't just AI - I find the random posts on national and local sorority guestbooks that say "I need a rec, can you please give me one" and "I'm going to pledge XYZ when I get to college, how much are dues?" absolutely ghastly in their lack of restraint or discretion.

Think about how you would feel if someone actually said this to you in real life, before you write it on a guestbook or message board!!
This reminds me of my first day of school last year. I went to Eckerds to buy some stuff and I was wearing my letters. A group of freshman girls came up to me and started asking me about Greek Life. One of them goes to me "I'm going to pledge Kappa Kappa Gamma." I didn't say anything but I was thinking "how do you know that offhand?" If I'm not mistaken, I think that girl didn't get a bid to any house, so it's not like she was even a Kappa legacy or anything.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Honestly, I think a lot of people just have no *clue* about greek life. What she SHOULD have said is, "I have an interest in pledging Kappa," but she probably didn't realize it's a mutual selection process -- especially if you don't live near a big, competive, Southern school.

[FSUZeta]

i think that some of us need to take a valium and lay down for a while! lots of people have no close friends or relatives who are greek,and they don't know where to turn so they somehow find greekchat and ask us. let's give them the benefit of the doubt.
that being said, spewing expletives is not the way to win friends and influence people or find a sponsor.

[LouisaMay]

Originally posted by JennRN
I know this isn't the topic, but I would like to say that this is a wonderful, wonderful description of the AI process. Beautifully written, LouisaMay.

Gee thanks:o

LM

[AZ-AlphaXi]

Originally posted by AXiD670
Not that I'm aware of.

tcsparky would know. Also, I'm willing to bet AlphaXiGirl or AZ-AlphaXi would know. I'll PM one of them.

There is no time period that a women has to be out of college to be eligible for AI with Alpha Xi. She just needs to not be in school - that is eligible to participate in normal NPC recruitment.

BTW - bekibug -- you did exactly the right thing ... you gave her your contact information and HQs. As was said, the ball is in her court ... if she does contact you .. you can certainly invite her to meet some of your sisters or pass her information on the the local alumnae or your chapter advisor.

[bekibug]

Originally posted by AZ-AlphaXi
There is no time period that a women has to be out of college to be eligible for AI with Alpha Xi. She just needs to not be in school - that is eligible to participate in normal NPC recruitment.

BTW - bekibug -- you did exactly the right thing ... you gave her your contact information and HQs. As was said, the ball is in her court ... if she does contact you .. you can certainly invite her to meet some of your sisters or pass her information on the the local alumnae or your chapter advisor.

Thanks. She said she went to Jacksonville State (Jacksonville, AL), so I'm pretty sure she's probably got a friend or two that was/were in AXiD up there. I just wasn't sure what I should have done since she was the first person I'd ever met interested in AI.

[roqueemae]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I did find a potential (fingers crossed-she is so sweet) home for my Grad School Girl. She will be attending a COR event for AOII next Tuesday. However, when I talked to my NPC area advisor she told me this was not a possibility for Grad Students to join a collegiate chapter. My phone calls between all the women got crossed so I had already told the chapter about the girl and the girl about the event. I hope everything works out.:(

[ms_gwyn]

Originally posted by Breeza00
You know,
I came to this board in hopes to find out more about the AI process. I am not the type to sit on my azz and read a bunch of crap to find out stuff. I like to get straigt to the point and obviously I offended some people by being straight and open. I simply wanted to know how I would go about getting started and I am getting talked about on here like I committed a crime! I took it on myself to contact a GLO Headquaters and they are being extremely helpful. I dont think you should bash someone for wanting to findout for about your sisterhood and possibly become a sister! Thats extremely rude!

Breeza,

You know what? I kinda understand where you are coming from, and am happy that you went and took some initative to contact a GLO about AI (which is in the advice thread that you didnt bother to read) but being defense and rude about it will not help.

A LOT OF PEOPLE (IE NATIONAL OFFICERS), read these boards and they also have ways of finding things out. This will not help you in your pursuit.

Most of the questions that you had or will have can be answered in these threads. And most if not all of us are proactive when it comes to this pursuit, because we want this and have a passion for helping out and wanting to be a part of a special and wonderful sisterhood.

Just be aware that potiental that a few of the ladies on this message board may become your sisters.

You also have to understand that this process is NOT QUICK at all, its a hurry up and wait process and you will be a very lucky women indeed IF you get invited to membership into an Organization.

If you ever feel like reading my story you will see that this is a humbling, joyous, stressful, exciting journey. I was almost a part of a sisterhood twice (once in college and one as an AI). Urania, is a wonderful group and I still wish I could be a part of it, I was so close that I could taste it, but it was not meant to be and I have excepted it and have moved on and now I have to start all over again. I'm in this for the long haul and I will find my home.

I don't want to make a snap judgment, but from the above post you dont seem to be ready for the long process that this will take. Some of the stories here have been rather quick, but more than not they have been very long exhausting journeys that have been well worth the wait.

I just hope that you have the patience to endure this and I really do hope that you find your home.

ms. gwyn

[MTSUGURL]

Something to think about: When you encounter a high school girl who notices your letters, and starts asking you questions, and then declares that she's going to pledge your organization, realize that she may be very impressed with YOU, and may not, as HotDamn said, have a clue about Greek life or how recruitment works at all. You may be one of her first encounters with someone in Greek life. Cool opportunity, an annoyance... it can be either, but it's up to you.

[33girl]

Crystal, I'm not saying I would ever tell anyone that to their face - I would explain "well, you have to go through rush and etc etc." I'm certainly not going to say why yes you are going to pledge, they will love you, and we will be sisters. Because that isn't realistic.

However, people who have been using a computer since they popped out of the womb should be intelligent enough to know how to research something before opening their mouths or spouting off on the keyboard.

[MTSUGURL]

Good point... Forgot that there are people who have been online so long. I never used email until my first semester in college...

[Tom Earp]

This post will soon be moved to AI Sub Thread in one more day.

Just warning everyone that this is where it belongs.

Alum Thread is for posting ideas to help with Alums and Chapters who wish to get assistance.

[kddani]

Originally posted by Tom Earp
This post will soon be moved to AI Sub Thread in one more day.



why will it take a day?

[Jen]

Why hasn't it been moved yet? Doesn't it take like 5 seconds to move a thread?

[Unregistered-]

Originally posted by ariesrising
Why hasn't it been moved yet? Doesn't it take like 5 seconds to move a thread?

Jen,

It's TEH MOONSHINE.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally posted by bekibug
Anyway, I gave her my email address and my National's email so she could find out more about it.

Now, was that the right thing to do, or should I have waited for more of my sisters to meet her? In retrospect, probably yes, but I got the feeling that if she were an undergrad, she would have been a girl I'd be interested in keeping during recruitment. I didn't commit to anything, just gave her contact info to find out more about it.

I think you took a step in the right direction, but I would also invite her out to one or two things. If you think she is someone that would make a good addition to your alumnae chapter as an AI, you could invite her to non-ritual AXiD events, like a book club or coffee house, pottery painting, stuff like that. The more alumnae that meet her and like her, the better it will be for her. No Headquarters will "force" an alumnae chapter to take someone on. It is primarily up to the alumnae chapter, as they are the ones who would be interacting the most with the alumna initiate.
Thus, if you can bring her "into the fold" and get her meeting people and AXiD women can meet her, it will be that much better for all concerned.

and...if you invite her out to one or two things, and she repeatedly declined, then I would interpret that to mean that her interest was "fleeting" and I wouldn't invite her out to anything further.