Recommendation Caution to PNM's

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

I want caution the PNM's against contacting ALL of the women from one GLO here on GC who offered to help with recommendations.

Contact them ONE AT A TIME please!!!!

I may be the only one, but I'm getting a little annoyed that I get contacted by a PNM looking for a rec, I hook the person up with someone local to them and then a day or two later I see a post from another Gamma Phi saying she was contacted by (the same PNM) and is looking for someone on GC in that area.

IF YOU CONTACT ME, I WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. IF YOU ARE GOING TO ALSO CONTACT ANOTHER GAMMA PHI THEN DON'T CONTACT ME. YOU ONLY NEED ONE PERSON FROM EACH GLO HELPING YOU. YOU DO NOT NEED A NUMBER OF US DOING THE SAME THING. We get too many requests to have multiple members doing the same thing without the others knowing about it.

[Speechpath]

Yes, yes and be aware that we do talk to each other and if you ask multiple people from the same GLO we do know it.

[GeekyPenguin]

Thank you, sister! Everytime I get a PM for one of these I start looking for resources to contact people, and then see that somebody else has already done it. One PM to each GLO member is enough - if they haven't answered in a few weeks, then try somebody else.

[JupiterTC]

I've only contacted one person for a rec so far, and I'm only looking into one NPC organization anyway. But I will definitely keep that in mind SmartBlonde! Thank you for the advice!

[LuvUTrulyKKG]

Originally posted by JupiterTC
I've only contacted one person for a rec so far, and I'm only looking into one NPC organization anyway. But I will definitely keep that in mind SmartBlonde! Thank you for the advice!

Jupiter, even though you may only be interested in one NPC right now, you never know what may happen. If I only looked at one NPC, I may not be a Kappa right now! :)

[Speechpath]

Originally posted by LuvUTrulyKKG
Jupiter, even though you may only be interested in one NPC right now, you never know what may happen. If I only looked at one NPC, I may not be a Kappa right now! :)

I second that, look at all the orgs you can and do feel free to contact the people here who have offered to help but remember you only need to contact 1 from each org to assist you with recommendations. If they can't help you, then you try someone else.

[JupiterTC]

Originally posted by LuvUTrulyKKG
Jupiter, even though you may only be interested in one NPC right now, you never know what may happen. If I only looked at one NPC, I may not be a Kappa right now! :)

Actually Luv, I went through formal middle of my sophomore year, but did not receive any bids. However, a new NPC is colonizing on my campus this fall. That's why I'm only checking out one :). But yes, I completely agree. I'm glad I went through formal, but I was never meant to be in any of the current NPC organizations.

[smiley21]

Originally posted by JupiterTC
Actually Luv, I went through formal middle of my sophomore year, but did not receive any bids. However, a new NPC is colonizing on my campus this fall. That's why I'm only checking out one :). But yes, I completely agree. I'm glad I went through formal, but I was never meant to be in any of the current NPC organizations.



oooh! which one if you dont mind telling??

[LuvUTrulyKKG]

I think it's the new Tri-Delta colony at Elon University... good luck, Jupiter!

[JupiterTC]

Thanks Luv! :D

[Jill1228]

Nuff hijacking! :p

Can we sticky this thread? Please??????????

[Sistermadly]

THANK YOU!!!!

BTW - where's the original thread where people posted where they'd like to help? I need to make some modifications to my post, but I can't find it even under a search.

[Jill1228]

Go here
http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=48462

Originally posted by Sistermadly
THANK YOU!!!!

BTW - where's the original thread where people posted where they'd like to help? I need to make some modifications to my post, but I can't find it even under a search.

[adpiucf]

I don't think we need to sticky this-- I have included all of this in the thread about recs. (The rec thread isn't even stickied) ;)

[DeltaBetaBaby]

and I don't think you are a moderator in the rush forum, but hey, we're all entitled to our opinions.

[ThetaPrincess24]

I like the posts that adpiucf has made here. I think she has been very helpful to PNM's.

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
and I don't think you are a moderator in the rush forum, but hey, we're all entitled to our opinions.

I appreciate your putting my in my place. Silly me for stating that these subjects were already addressed in other threads! :D

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I appreciate your putting my in my place. Silly me for stating that these subjects were already addressed in other threads! :D

Well, OBVIOUSLY the point wasn't clear enough if I had to make a big deal about. May not annoy you but I don't have the time.

NOW...........this is MY thread so please stick to the point.

[OTW]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
and I don't think you are a moderator in the rush forum, but hey, we're all entitled to our opinions.

adpiucf, I'm not one of those snarky mods who like to put you in your place, but I just wanted you to know that the threads you have started in the Rush forum have been very helpful not just to PNMs, but to many other GCers as well.

I hope you continue to promote this Panhellenic spirit, and may you be an inspiration and an example to those people (mods and non-mods alike) who don't know how to be Panhellenic.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
adpiucf, I'm not one of those snarky mods who like to put you in your place, but I just wanted you to know that the threads you have started in the Rush forum have been very helpful not just to PNMs, but to many other GCers as well.

I hope you continue to promote this Panhellenic spirit, and may you be an inspiration and an example to those people (mods and non-mods alike) who don't know how to be Panhellenic.

Ditto Sandy -- I appreciate all the contributions you've made to the rush forum over the past few months, and I'm sure many, many PNMs do too. I think some people on GC tend to let their egos get in the way of remembering that that's what this forum is mostly all about -- the rushees!

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

agreed. I think you've had some great posts and the rush forum wouldn't be as insightful without you.

Save the snotty comments, please!

[ADqtPiMel]

I think adpiucf's threads have been awesome and really helpful. God forbid someone who isn't a moderator trying to help PNMs. :rolleyes: If you don't want to read her threads, why don't you just put her on ignore, like you've been telling the rest of us peons to do when we have a problem with someone?

Adpiucf, your panhellenic spirit makes me really proud to call you my sister. Violets to you!

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
adpiucf, I'm not one of those snarky mods who like to put you in your place, but I just wanted you to know that the threads you have started in the Rush forum have been very helpful not just to PNMs, but to many other GCers as well.

I hope you continue to promote this Panhellenic spirit, and may you be an inspiration and an example to those people (mods and non-mods alike) who don't know how to be Panhellenic.

AMEN to that!

SOme people need to get their panties out of a wad and relax...........it's only GC...........:rolleyes:

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by ADqtPiMel
I think adpiucf's threads have been awesome and really helpful. God forbid someone who isn't a moderator trying to help PNMs. :rolleyes: If you don't want to read her threads, why don't you just put her on ignore, like you've been telling the rest of us peons to do when we have a problem with someone?

Yes. I really don't get the hostility at all.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I never said a thing about anyone giving PNM's advice. I just happen to think that PenguinTrax and Carnation do an excellent job of moderating this forum, and can make their own moderating decisions without input from the masses.

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
I never said a thing about anyone giving PNM's advice. I just happen to think that PenguinTrax and Carnation do an excellent job of moderating this forum, and can make their own moderating decisions without input from the masses.

Um, I'm pretty sure she didn't try to make any moderating decisions. All she said was that she had included this information in another thread. Under normal circumstances, people that create a thread that is already in existence elsewhere are directed to post in the already created thread.

I have absolutely no problem with this thread, but I have a problem with people jumping all over adpiucf for attempting to help. But of course, I don't matter, since I'm just a part of the masses. :rolleyes:

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I believe that threads are stickied by moderators.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

I don't think the problem is that no one realizes who stickies posts.

I think the problem is no one can figure out why you'd jump in the middle of a ridiculously polite thread that was running quite nicely on its own with a nasty comment, then act like all you did was provide much-needed information to the conversation.

[ztawinthropgirl]

Well, back to the regularly scheduled thread:

I received a PM about giving a recommendation and I was a little suspicious about it because it sounded a little bit like a mass PM. So I don't think Gamma Phi was the only sorority hit with this request for a recommendation.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Another note to PNM's...

If you know an XYZ alumna, and you need an XYZ rec, ASK HER. Getting your recs from GCers should be your second option. GCers or local alums that they put you in touch with may write you a rec, but it is much harder for them than a woman who has known you/your family for years and can really vouch for your character.

[ThetaPrincess24]

PNM's................please do not go about emailing alumnae chapters of sororities asking for recommendations or finding out who the Advisory Board Chairman is and emailing her about recommendations(unless you know her or people--in particularly the president--of the alumnae groups PERSONALLY)!!!!!!!!

[suwhitestl]

Don't forget to send a thank you to the member that wrote you the recommendation and took out time to help you.

AND -- please remember to let people know what your results were from recruitment. We want to know if you joined the greek community!

[Jill1228]

THANK YOU! I was just thinking about this yesterday! If we cared to take the time out to write the rec, at least have the courtesy to let us know where you went. You don't have to post it on here but you can at least email the person who wrote you the rec!

If you didn't go with our group, let us know, we ain't mad at cha ...it's all good!

If you dropped out of recruitment, let us know!

Just common courtesy!

And to the chapters that got the recs, at least write a Thank you note acknowledging that you received our recs!

How hard is that?

ETA: out of the recs I wrote, 2 girls never got back to me...funny they were both from the same school that never acknowledged that they received their recs! :rolleyes:

Originally posted by suwhitestl
Don't forget to send a thank you to the member that wrote you the recommendation and took out time to help you.

AND -- please remember to let people know what your results were from recruitment. We want to know if you joined the greek community!

[B_R_E_A_N_N_A]

I am just wondering if the PNMs are asking for recs from people they don't know. I know with my chapter (small school, small chapter) we only pay attention to recs that are very personal. How can you write a rec for someone that you don't really know? That just seems weird to me. I wouldn't read it to my chapter.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Originally posted by Jill1228
ETA: out of the recs I wrote, 2 girls never got back to me...funny they were both from the same school that never acknowledged that they received their recs! :rolleyes:

Out of the about, oh 8-10 I wrote, I had ONE girl tell me the results...and ONE sent a thank you email. It left quite a bitter taste in my mouth, so honestly, I don't know if I want to devote my spare time to write recs anymore.

[thetagammachica]

excuse my ignorence, what is a rec... ( I am assuming recomendation).... but why would you need it as a PNM

[TxAPhi]

Originally posted by thetagammachica
excuse my ignorence, what is a rec... ( I am assuming recomendation).... but why would you need it as a PNM


Here is a way of explaining recs and who writes them for PNMs and why:

What are Alumnae Panhellenics? Alumnae/Area/Hometown Panhellenics: These groups are community based organizations, affiliated with the National Panhellenic Conference, whose membership is composed of representative alumnae from NPC member group fraternities. These groups promote the philanthropic efforts of member organizations, promote the advantages of sorority membership, and host educational/informational sessions to promote Greek Life to women who are going to be attending a college or university. These educational/informational meetings are held at the discretion of the individual Alumnae Panhellenic, but usually take place in the spring of the year. The purpose of these meetings will inform a woman of the opportunities for Greek Life at various universities. A form will be distributed to complete and return to a designated person on that Alumna Panhellenic. This form will be made available to the sorority alumnae groups in that area by the Alumnae Panhellenic. The Alumnae Panhellenic does not guarantee that by completing the form, recommendations will be written on a woman's behalf or that a woman will be invited to particular parties during formal recruitment. This form only serves to alert the alumnae in that area that a woman has registered with the Alumnae Panhellenic and have indicated they will be participating in formal recruitment at a particular university. It is then up to an individual sorority alumnae organization to follow-up with a potential member if they need anymore information in addition to what is listed on the form.

More about Alumane Panhelenics
http://www.npcwomen.org/alumnae/a_overview.php


And here is an example from a large greek university - http://deanofstudents.utexas.edu/gle/join_upc_alumnae.php

[TxAPhi]

The idea of recs may be a foreign concept without some context.

This website for the Fort Bend Co (Texas) Alumnae Panhellenic will give you a feel for what Recruitment is like at some southern and "quasi-southern" (for lack of a better term) universities.


http://www.fortbendpanhellenic.org/

Click on "Recruitment" at the top
Then scroll down to the "Table of Contents"
If you read through each of these in order, you will get a picture of the entirely unique culture of southern recruitment, recs, legacies, etc.

[tcsparky]

WOW!! I just spent an hour on the Fort Bend website looking at their recruitment workbook. I don't think they left anything out. It was fantastic. Everyone going through recruitment might want to take a look, even if you're not going to a big college, a "Southern" college, or a competitive recruitment. It was absolutely fabulous.

:)

[AGDLynn]

I don't know why West Georgia does this but the rec. application basically only gives her name, grades, high school and activities.

It's hard to find someone to do a recommendation when you don't know where the pnm lives! At least if the parents name were given, you could narrow down possibilities.

Any other school do this?

ETA: Send an inquiry to the Greek Life Office who said to make recommendations (no pun lol) on changes we might need to help chapters know pnms better.:D

[starburst21]

Originally posted by ThetaPrincess24
PNM's................please do not go about emailing alumnae chapters of sororities asking for recommendations or finding out who the Advisory Board Chairman is and emailing her about recommendations(unless you know her or people--in particularly the president--of the alumnae groups PERSONALLY)!!!!!!!!

I guess at my school we aren't sent an incredible amount of recs (I think there were maybe six last year), so I don't really know all about it, but I thought that was the kind of thing people were supposed to do if they didn't know any alumnae themselves.

[adpiucf]

Originally posted by ThetaPrincess24
PNM's................please do not go about emailing alumnae chapters of sororities asking for recommendations or finding out who the Advisory Board Chairman is and emailing her about recommendations(unless you know her or people--in particularly the president--of the alumnae groups PERSONALLY)!!!!!!!!

I wonder if this is a regional issue? Most times, if PNMs do not know any alumnae personally, they are encouraged to contact a Panhellenic Alumnae group to respectfully request assistance with securing informational recs. Many alum associations and alum panhellenics expect this and willingly help those PNMs who have no family or contacts that are Greek and able to help them.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by adpiucf
I wonder if this is a regional issue? Most times, if PNMs do not know any alumnae personally, they are encouraged to contact a Panhellenic Alumnae group to respectfully request assistance with securing informational recs. Many alum associations and alum panhellenics expect this and willingly help those PNMs who have no family or contacts that are Greek and able to help them.

I think she meant it more as don't expect to email her your info and her to come back with rec's from all the sororities you would like without you putting in the work. I think it's fine to contact her to get some contact info, but expect that YOU will be doing the work, not her.

[Jill1228]

bumping this up:

Oh yeah, don't wait till 2 weeks until recruitment and start begging for recs...

failure to prepare on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

Originally posted by Jill1228
bumping this up:

Oh yeah, don't wait till 2 weeks until recruitment and start begging for recs...

failure to prepare on your part does NOT constitute an emergency on mine

This should go to the ALUMNAE too. Last year I got a call from one of the members of our alumnae chapter (older woman) the DAY BEFORE recruitment was starting at HER chapter (the UW) asking me how she could go about getting the rec to the chapter. She's been involved with the collegiate chapter longer than me and knows the recruitment advisor (who's phone number conveniently isn't in our newsletter) and yet she needed my help.........lordy

[carnation]

Oh AMEN to the last 2 posts. Two years ago, a PNM who was going to a big SEC school contacted me for recs 2 weeks before rush.:eek: I wondered how well she'd do--she got cut by several groups (and was mad about it) but did get into a strong chapter.

PNMs! Pleeeaaassse get your recs early!

[aopirose]

Originally posted by SmartBlondeGPhB
This should go to the ALUMNAE too.

Ain't that the truth! Last year, I got a call from a sister whose pledge sister's daughter was going through recruitment at a big SEC school. The call came the day everyone, including me, was leaving for convention!

[33girl]

Hey PNMs!

If you're looking for recs, don't go to the forum of every sorority on Greek Chat and cut and paste a message to the effect of "I am going to St. Bernard State and really want to be a member of Mu Tau Nu, you girls are the super bestest!! Where can I get a rec tHaNkS!!@$%"

The only thing possibly more gauche is pointedly posting this in only "selected" sorority forums of the groups on your campus - i.e. the "top" groups that you think are the only ones worthy of you.

[Zillini]

Originally posted by aopirose
Ain't that the truth! Last year, I got a call from a sister whose pledge sister's daughter was going through recruitment at a big SEC school. The call came the day everyone, including me, was leaving for convention!

You think that's bad? Every year I get phone, fax and email recs after Recruitment has already started, sometimes even after 3rd stage (right before pref). What slays me then is when the alum gets upset because her PNM was already dropped. Like it's my fault we didn't know anything about the girl!

[adpiucf]

In some of these alum's defense, they've been out of the loop for so long that they don't know what is happening in the sorority world-- if their daughters really want to join a sorority, they should do their own dirty work. Non-legacy PNMs have proven they can hustle and contact every person they know, as well as their mom's boss's doorman's third cousin's roommate's friend to get a rec-- why can't a legacy?

It's not mom's job and they have no right to get their undergarments in a twist if their kid is dropped from their precious sorority, especially if they themselves did not even write a rec for their child in time.

I realize that moms will continue to moan, whine, complain and remove support if their child isn' selected to join "MY SORORITY," and I'm sure it hurts if your child is dropped from your organization, but that's life. Rejection is part of it and even all the supplementary paperwork in the world isn't going to change the fact that your child could be a better fit for another sorority. Recruitment is a mutual selection between PNM and sorority--- not between mom on PNM's behalf and sorority.

ETA: Moms-- sorry to offend. You represent the minority of women with legacies. I realize the women on this BB are involved alumnae and know the deadlines or are at least here wanting to learn more. But we all know that a legacy is a courtesy introduction and that at some point, your daughter has to stand on her own. It would be a travesty for a legacy to receive a bid just because of her legacy... and to spend the next 4 years wondering if the chapter really wanted her. This is a concern I have seen even with legacies at even some of the most competitive recruitments. /end rant

[Denise_DPhiE]

^^^^^Amen sista! What she said!

DC

[33girl]

Bumping this to make it active again.

PNMs, if you are looking for recs, GC should be your LAST resort. We don't know you in real life (except in a few cases). We have no idea if the information you are giving us is true. We'll gladly direct you as to where to go to secure them, but don't go to every (example) Phi Mu on the site begging for one.

We "oldsters" realize you conduct a huge amount of your daily lives over the internet, much more than we could have ever imagined when we were in school, but this is one area where you just SHOULD NOT.

[kddani]

I have clearly stated that I will NOT write recs for people on GC. However, I have stated in places that if the PNM had tried and tried and was stuck, i'd help them figure out who else they could contact (but, I know later on I got fed up and said that if they were getting nowhere, to contact KD HQ, but people still PM me).

If you are going to ask for my help- AT LEAST HAVE MADE AN EFFORT FIRST! One email to one person does not equal a lot of effort on your part. Email that person again. Contact the local panhel. Contact our HQ for a contact person. There are hundreds of posts on GC about where you can find people to write you recs. Contacting a stranger on the internet for help should be your LAST RESORT. I'm not inclined to help you find a rec if all you have done is email one person.

I'm also not inclined to help you if your PM looks like it was written by a 12 year old fluent in net-speak. If that's the way you approached your potential recommenders, it's no surprise they didn't get back to you. I'm not a total grammar-whore, but at least make an effort at formal writing. This is a request for help to someone that you don't know, not an IM to your BFF.

[adpiucf]

If you are a PNM and you have secured an informational rec for a sorority, please do not go out seeking additional informational recs for that sorority. The chapter will just be annoyed. Informational recs are recommendation forms filled out with your general info, grades, and activities/honors by alumnae who are doing it as a courtesy-- meaning they are not family members, friends and people who know you well and they have checked off a box stating such.

Multiple informational recs to the same sorority are redundant and unnecessary. You are wasting your time, the time of the additional alumnae who are assisting you, and the chapter's time. The chapter may even develop a negative impression of you because you have created more paperwork for them and done absolutely nothing to distinguish yourself with any new information or bring a new perspective of what you have to offer sorority membership.

If you have mutliple recs from personal sources, that's a completely different story. Or if you have one recommendation submitted and individualized letters of support from other personal sources; again, this brings actual perspective to your application.

There's a such thing as overdoing it. Multiple informational recs are the perfect way to start on the wrong foot.

Please remember to ask everyone in your life-- parents, family friends, teachers, neighbors, etc., for a rec before you solicit strangers for informational recs on the internet. Try the Alumnae Panhellenic in your hometown before you resort to looking up strangers. Good luck with recruitment and if you know that the culture of your campus's recruitment places an emphasis on recs, start early to get those into the chapters!

[brittai927]

Recs at my school are listed as "optional" and recommended I think. However, I know that a lot of top houses will cut girls early when they don't know them well because she doesn't have a rec.

[CuriousWildcat]

Ok so from what I understand, I don't need a rec because I do not have aspecific sorority that I am like dying to pledge. Is this correct? I mean I have a few that I am more interested in, but I am going to keep an open mind about where I fit in best. So yeah... am I right in guessing that I don't need a rec?
Thanks!

[FSUZeta]

several sororities require a recommendation for a pnm(potential new member,aka rushee) before they can pledge a girl. zta does.i will leave it to other alumnae to say whether their sorority does or does not.

there have also been several threads this year about some sororities on some campuses having to release large numbers of girls, due to the high percentage of girls wanting to return to those chapters. especially on the first day of recruitment, not having a recommendation on a girl might be an easy reason not to keep a girl on the invitation list. so would a gpa lower than the chapters minimum required gpa. you can't change your gpa, but you can obtain recs.

most panhellenic websites that discuss recommendations will state that "it is the sororities obligation to obtain a recommendation on a pnm, if it is required." if it is a popular house, on a large campus with lots of girls participating in recruitment, the sorority may already have so many candidates that DO have a recommendation, that it would take a very special person for the sorority to work real hard to find a rec for her.

if you know that girls rushing on your campus usually have recommendations, then i would suggest that you get as many as you can. not just to the houses you THINK you are interested in-your interests might change during the week, and your #1 choice before recruitment began, might not remain your favorite. why shoot yourself in the foot, when you can maximize your chances? a recommendation will not guarantee you a bid, but it MAY get you invited back to the next party.

if you know that recommendations are rare on your campus, then it would not be such a big deal.

[CuriousWildcat]

I totally understand. The only problem is that I don't know anyone else who is rushing/has rushed/has been in a sorority so I don't know whether or not recs are a big deal on my camus or not...

[greekalum]

Are you an AZ Wildcat? A rec would be a BIG help if you want one of their top houses.

[CuriousWildcat]

I am going to University of Kentucky

[SmartBlondeGPhB]

I am going to University of Kentucky

Recs = Good Idea

Contact the local Alumnae Panhellenic (list can be found at www.npcwomen.org) and they should be able to help you.

[AOIIalum]

I am going to University of Kentucky
You'll want to have recs at UK.

GO BIG BLUE!

[CuriousWildcat]

I've contacted the alumnae panhellenic asking for contact info like you suggested, but my fear is that I will not have time to get recs (rush is the 12th-18th). I feel like a slacker, but I really only found out about recs when I found this forum (approx. 3 days ago!). So now I am very nervous about not having recs...

[CuriousWildcat]

I just email the recruitment president and she said that I don't need recs, and that if they are required then the chapter will have to get them themselves. I am still waiting to hear back from the alumnae panhellenic, I am still going to try and get some recs, but I feel alot better now that I know they aren't required. Thank you everyone!

[AlphaFrog]

I just email the recruitment president and she said that I don't need recs, and that if they are required then the chapter will have to get them themselves. I am still waiting to hear back from the alumnae panhellenic, I am still going to try and get some recs, but I feel alot better now that I know they aren't required. Thank you everyone!


Think about it this way: If the sorority is trying to decide between you and another girl, and everything else between the two of you is equal (gpa, activities, the sisters that rushed both of you both liked you really well) but the other girl already has a rec, and they would have to hunt one down on you, which one do you think they're going to go with?

They may not be absolutely mandatory, but they do help.

[CuriousWildcat]

yeah, that's what I was thinking too, but I am still waiting to get some contact info from the alumnae panhellenic.

[AlphaFrog]

yeah, that's what I was thinking too, but I am still waiting to get some contact info from the alumnae panhellenic.


Get the recs that you can, and don't stress about the other ones. Just because a rec will help you out, doesn't mean you absolutly can't get in without one, but it also doesn't mean to give up trying to get them because they're not mandatory. That's all I'm trying to say. :) :)

[CuriousWildcat]

thanks!:D

[TSteven]

I am going to University of Kentucky

Go Cats!

[TSteven]

You'll want to have recs at UK.

GO BIG BLUE!

That too!

[AGDLynn]

Wow!!

I've already gotten a very nice handwritten (!) thank you note for writing a rec!

[CallieQ]

How soon is too soon to ask about recs? One of my teachers told me she'd get one for me and I didn't even ask her.

[33girl]

How soon is too soon to ask about recs? One of my teachers told me she'd get one for me and I didn't even ask her.

are you a senior? I hope, LOL, because if not your teacher is seriously obsessed. ;) But if she volunteered, how nice of her! It's never too early to start collecting recs, that way when it gets closer to rush you can worry about other things, like shoes and clothes. :) What school will you be attending?

[CallieQ]

I'm a junior, and she is obsessed! She made us memorize the Greek Alphabet "because we'll need to know it in college". She's still my favorite teacher, and I know I'll need her help.

I'm applying to Mercer, UGA, USC, and Clemson, for sure. I haven't figured out my safety nets yet. Or should I delete those? I see everyone who tells her story uses code names.

[CallieQ]

I forgot about clothes! My mother is forever saying that "this would be lovely for a Pref Party" or first or second or third rounds! She's funny -- I think she's a tribute to Lily Pulitzer & Anne Klein, lol!

[adpiucf]

The earliest time to start accumulating recs is in March of your senior year of high school/the March before your recruitment if you are an upperclassman already at college. Put together a social resume and a headshot/full body photo for each of your recommenders,as well as the addresses for the sorority chapter where they should send the rec. Begin contacting alumnae within your network and contact the Alumnae Panhellenic in your area to see about obtaining the rest.

If you do not yet know where you will be attending school, it is ok for the alumnae to send recs to the universities you have applied to. Make sure they send the recommendation directly to the sorority chapter at the university. There may be a form associated with the rec; the alumna will get it from her sorority.

Make sure to send a Thank-You note to your recommenders once they send in the rec. You should not have any sort of communication with the collegiate sorority women at your university, even though it may be tempting to check and see if your rec was received. Don't even think about it! You can ask your recommender if she sent it; usually the chapters will send the recommenders a thank-you to let them know it was received.

Update your recommenders post-recruitment with a last thank you note and let them know how it turned out. Whether or not you joined their sorority (or even if you dropped out of recruitment), they will be happy to hear from you.

ETA: The photos you provide your recommender with don't have to be Glamour Shots- just a friendly snapshot - but it does help the chapters to be able to put a face to the name and here in Texas we encourage the women to submit these photos with their recs. It isn't required.

[FSUZeta]

to add on to adpiucf's excellent advice, you might even want to include an addressed, stamped envelope that the alum can put her completed rec. in and mail-might help speed up the process and as an alum., i certainly appreciate and am impressed when a pnm thinks to do this!!

[CallieQ]

Thank you for your responses--you're very kind! My mother tells me about rush, but I'm sure things have changed since she rushed. I'll be sure to keep all of your ideas in mind. I do have one question about the picture--my mom said that I should use a cheerleader shot and a portrait shot. Is that too much? A friend of mine who rushed last year had the two types of photo superimposed, but you didn't see her as well. I've kept up my grades & activities & honors, but is mentioning a title (Homecoming Court, or a Miss Small Town) bragging? It seems like such a fine line to me.

I pretty much like all the schools equally, except I live too close to the one! I love my parents, but don't want them breathing down my neck! I went through all the college websites, and wrote down all the sororities each has--I have some of the recs figured out (from church & school), but my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet. We visit every table, and I've seen some of the ladies filling in forms which look like the recs my mother has filled in. I'm afraid it might be seen as rude if I contact someone just for a rec, when she doesn't know me beforehand. I'm also going to visit the friend I mentioned for a weekend, to see if I like the campus--but she said she can't give me a rec for her school. Sometimes I feel like my mother & I are planning an Army manuever!

[AChiOhSnap]

my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet.

WOW.


ETA: Why did you say in this post (http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?p=1239332#post1239332) from last April that you were going to rush last August, and your profile says you are only 16....?

[CallieQ]

I'm embarrassed. I've been lurking a long time, and didn't want you to think I'm too young. But I guess I am. I'm just so excited about it, going away and all. I'll come back when it gets closer. Sorry.

[AChiOhSnap]

I'm embarrassed. I've been lurking a long time, and didn't want you to think I'm too young. But I guess I am. I'm just so excited about it, going away and all. I'll come back when it gets closer. Sorry.

Don't be embarassed, just don't lie.

[adpiucf]

Thank you for your responses--you're very kind! My mother tells me about rush, but I'm sure things have changed since she rushed. I'll be sure to keep all of your ideas in mind. I do have one question about the picture--my mom said that I should use a cheerleader shot and a portrait shot. Is that too much? A friend of mine who rushed last year had the two types of photo superimposed, but you didn't see her as well. I've kept up my grades & activities & honors, but is mentioning a title (Homecoming Court, or a Miss Small Town) bragging? It seems like such a fine line to me.

I pretty much like all the schools equally, except I live too close to the one! I love my parents, but don't want them breathing down my neck! I went through all the college websites, and wrote down all the sororities each has--I have some of the recs figured out (from church & school), but my mom's been taking me to Panhellenic events since I was in middle school, just in case there are some ladies who are in sororities I don't have covered yet. We visit every table, and I've seen some of the ladies filling in forms which look like the recs my mother has filled in. I'm afraid it might be seen as rude if I contact someone just for a rec, when she doesn't know me beforehand. I'm also going to visit the friend I mentioned for a weekend, to see if I like the campus--but she said she can't give me a rec for her school. Sometimes I feel like my mother & I are planning an Army manuever!

A cheerleading shot is fine, and so is mentioning any pageant titles or high school courts. You have plenty of time if you are a HS junior-- don't worry about this stuff until next March! And don't worry about approaching strangers for recommendations-- many alumnae write what are called information-only recs. They do this after an in-person meeting with you. You can take this year to get to know some new alumnae, maybe do some volunteer work and keep in touch with emails, Christmas cards, etc., so they remember you when you come to ask them for a rec. Most alumnae are happy to help an enthusiastic PNM provided she gives them adaquate time-- at least 6-8 weeks prior to the deadline. Do try to have your alumnae send their recs in by July 1-- again this is for the year that you are rushing. You are still very young. Take this time to get great grades, volunteer and assume positions of leadership at your high school. An outstanding resume with excellent grades and activities (sports, leadership, well-rounded community volunteer) will grab a sorority's attention and the way you conduct yourself in-person will help them see if what looks great on paper is someone they would want in their organization.

Overall, don't stress out too much. Get your recs and wardrobe when the time comes, learn a little about each sorority's mission and works, but don't try to know it all or come across that way when you get to recruitment. Everyone gets cut from somewhere, and I think the uber-overprepared PNMs end up being the most disappointed-- recruitment is a little like a job interview combined with cheerleader tryouts. Not everyone will get a spot, but they'll make sure you have a good time while you're there and ensure you make some new friends in the process. Just be yourself, have a good time and assume the expectation that it's a great collegiate activity with the potential for lifetime friendships and service.

Have a great rest of your junior year-- focus on living your life in high school, being with friends, doing well in school, your SATs and getting into college next fall!

[dfriedm1]

I did not know what reccomendations were until a few days ago. My parents were not Greek so I contacted my local alumni association and everyone I have contacted has been sooo helpful! Do not be afraid to contact listed alumni, they are very nice and helpful.

[Luz]

How does one go about discovering if recs are a big deal on their campus? I'm in an odd situation as I'm going to be a grad student and I wonder if it would really make a difference for me.

[aopirose]

How does one go about discovering if recs are a big deal on their campus? I'm in an odd situation as I'm going to be a grad student and I wonder if it would really make a difference for me.

One of the purposes of a recommendation is for a member to introduce you to the chapter prior to recruitment. It doesn't hurt to have one. They best way to find out the extent of their use at your school is to talk to someone there.

[CallieQ]

Do you mind if I brag a little? I've been lurking a bit, but studying a LOT, and have a perfect GPA going into the end of the school year! Which means my parents are a lot less worried that I'm going to ruin my life if I continue cheering and all in my Senior Year!!!

And, I think I will have recs for the sororities where I'm applying--or at least, I should, after all the socials I've been to! To how many schools did you all apply? My list just seems to get longer, not shorter!!

I guess I'll see you all in less than a year, for last minute advice!

[AChiOhSnap]

Do you mind if I brag a little? I've been lurking a bit, but studying a LOT, and have a perfect GPA going into the end of the school year! Which means my parents are a lot less worried that I'm going to ruin my life if I continue cheering and all in my Senior Year!!!

And, I think I will have recs for the sororities where I'm applying--or at least, I should, after all the socials I've been to! To how many schools did you all apply? My list just seems to get longer, not shorter!!

I guess I'll see you all in less than a year, for last minute advice!

You've been actually posting a lot and lurking only a bit...I want to caution you to be DISCREET from here on out.... I think you know what I mean.

Work on getting into the best college you can with your GPA. Greek life comes later. Don't worry about how many socials you've been to or how many connections you have to GLOs. If you have a perfect GPA (I'm assuming you mean a 4.0 on a 4.0 scale) you should be applying to top tier schools. Worry about Greek life after you're actually accepted to a university.

[AGDLynn]

Just to be a little cautious info...there will be LOTS of girls with your same credentials.

[alum]

To how many schools did you all apply? My list just seems to get longer, not shorter!!

In our area, the top echelon of hs seniors tend to apply to 6-8 colleges, usually broken down into several reaches, several matches, a couple of safeties. According to our cousins, this is the case in their Boston suburb as well. A lot of kids who are shooting for an Ivy may apply to all the Ivies just because admissions is such a roll of the dice at those schools. There are so many applicants with perfect GPAs, 2400 SATs, multiple 800 SAT IIs, who also have amazing ECs.

[fantASTic]

Alum: same here. In my experience, too, colleges will take a kid with a 3.4 and multiple AP or IB classes over a kid with a 4.0 who slid by on all lower level classes.

And if your ACT and SAT scores don't back up that 4.0, too, then it won't count for much.

But, good luck and have a good day :)

[KSUViolet06]

I posted this in another thread about recs and I thought it might be helpful if I posted it again here:

Girls, understand that getting recommendations can be difficult, especially if you don't live in an area with lots of greek women or you don't have many greeks in your family.

It just takes persistence. You have to exhaust all of your available resources & contacts. Think of EVERY place you go regularly where there are women who know you well. Any of them could be a sorority alumna.
Some of these places include:

*school (teachers, counselors, coaches)
*church or other place of worship ( sorority women might attend your church service or lead your bible study)
*camps you attend(ed) (your camp counselors might be sorority women)
*work (co-workers or their family members might be greek)
*your parents (their co-workers or friends, get their Christmas card or email lists out)


Also, you can even ask the MEN you know. For example, your dad's bowling buddy might me married to a sorority alumna or have a daughter who is Greek.

Good luck ladies!

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Good post. As an addition, if you know sorority women who are not in the groups that have chapters on your campus, ASK THEM ANYWAY. They are likely to know more sorority women, or be able to help point you in the right direction. Off of the top of my head, I could think of at least 5 orgs I could help with, and most other sorority women have that same ability.

[dukemama]

I agree, definitely ask ANYONE you know for recs. I wasn't a Greek in college and even I could direct a PNM to alumnae in at least 4 different NPC sororities.

[FSUZeta]

and don't give up! i was from a very small town and managed to have recs. to most of the sororities at fl. state. some were from friends families, my family, teachers, fellow church members, parents friends. when you find one sorority member, most likely they will know an alumna of another sorority. network!!

[KSUViolet06]

I posted this in another rec related thread, but I'm going to post it again here because I think it's important for girls to know this:

Some school's recruitment websites & guide books will tell you:

"It is the responsibility of each sorority to secure recommendations for each potential member."

This isn't always the case.

At most large schools like LSU, UGA, Bama & Ole Miss, there are HUNDREDS of girls rushing. It is nearly impossible for every sorority to get a rec for EVERY SINGLE girl.

So don't depend on the sorority to get them for you, even if the website, recruitment book, greek life office, etc says they will.

If you get recs for yourself, you can guarantee that you'll have them when recruitment starts.

[adpiucf]

Please don't wait until the last minute to start asking for recs! The moment you even think about going through recruitment, start soliciting those recs.

Rec writers have lives, too, and you shouldn't cause them stress or inconvenience because you waited until the week before recruitment to start lining up recs. Rec writers very much want to help you-- but please be considerate of their time. They are doing you a favor--- the least you can do is give them at least 4-6 weeks lead time.

ETA: If you just decided to go through recruitment the week before/day of and you're frustrated that rec writers are not as readily available, I hate to say this-- but that's your problem. You need to plan ahead for anything that requires you to ask another person to contribute her time on your behalf.

[KSUViolet06]

Yes girls please keep in mind that some schools require all recs to be submitted as early as JULY!

So please be timely and start lining them up early.

[GatorDG]

I just had dinner last night with a friend whose daughter is a freshman at SMU. The daughter had just attended a Panhellenic rush (sorry recruitment - I'm old) information meeting and was told that THEY DO NOT NEED RECS!!!! I assured my friend that, especially at a school like SMU, this was not the case. It seems as if NPC, through various school panhellenics, is trying to move away from requiring recs, but the chapters are still requiring them. This can be very confusing to rushees and making life difficult for the glo as well as the pnm. This can result in hurt feelings and disappointing recruitments. This is an area that seems to need attention and consistency.

[Benzgirl]

I just had dinner last night with a friend whose daughter is a freshman at SMU. The daughter had just attended a Panhellenic rush (sorry recruitment - I'm old) information meeting and was told that THEY DO NOT NEED RECS!!!! I assured my friend that, especially at a school like SMU, this was not the case. It seems as if NPC, through various school panhellenics, is trying to move away from requiring recs, but the chapters are still requiring them. This can be very confusing to rushees and making life difficult for the glo as well as the pnm. This can result in hurt feelings and disappointing recruitments. This is an area that seems to need attention and consistency.

Unfortunately, they have to say that. At some schools it is not impossible to get through recruitment without one, but come on...it's SMU. I'm not a mother bu I feel the pain of someone listens to information that is misleading.

[honeychile]

I think the above shows yet another university trying so hard to be pc, that they shoot themselves in the foot! It's like being told you're going to a regular party, and find out it's a formal - just not fair to those trying to put their best foot forward.

I'll go a step further and say that, even though the vast majority of Northern schools don't require recs, if you have the option, use it! There's never a wrong time to start networking.

Lastly, take a moment and jot a note (or an email, she sighs) to the women nice enough to give you a rec. Thank them for the rec, and let them know that if you got a bid, and from whom. If it's not to their GLO, you can always say "While I really liked the ABC's, I felt more at home at QRS." If you didn't get a bid, tell them that you may be back to them next year ("I didn't get a bid this year, but just may try again in the future...") We understand that not everyone is going to love our sorority, and I promise you, we will not be offended!

[asa06091987]

maybe its because i go to school in southern ny... we don't need recs...

[SWTXBelle]

Some national/international headquarters require recs, even if the local panhellenic culture doesn't. As has been said before, they are always a good idea. Far better to have them, and not need them, than to need them, and not have them.

[Kitemom]

My daughter grandmother was able to secure several recs for her. "Of couse they would be happy to help and by the way so and so can write one also." My daughter delivered a package of resume and photo's to one of my mothers friends who told her don't worry I'll get recs written for you.

[violetpretty]

Some national/international headquarters require recs, even if the local panhellenic culture doesn't. As has been said before, they are always a good idea. Far better to have them, and not need them, than to need them, and not have them.

It says that a rec is required to become initiated in our Promise Book (NM manual). However, I have been an initiated member for 4 years and I'd really like to know who wrote that rec for me, or if that rule has changed.

[deadbear80]

It says that a rec is required to become initiated in our Promise Book (NM manual). However, I have been an initiated member for 4 years and I'd really like to know who wrote that rec for me, or if that rule has changed.

In some organizations, undergrad members can write recs. Your chapter may have secured a rec for you through someone you already knew in the chapter without your knowledge of her doing so.
I also know that some chapters will contact Alumnae Panhellenic chapters when the list of registered girls comes out (especially when recruitment is deferred) to try to get recs that way. So you just never know...

[SoCalGirl]

It says that a rec is required to become initiated in our Promise Book (NM manual). However, I have been an initiated member for 4 years and I'd really like to know who wrote that rec for me, or if that rule has changed.

I've written recs for NMs after meeting them. They had no idea. :)

[honeychile]

In today's church bulletin, there was a blurb about a young woman about to attend an SEC school this fall. She was bright enough to mention that she was hoping to join a sorority, and if any of the church ladies would like to help her, she would be most grateful.

Now, this is my mother's church - about 150 members. I know of 6 recs she could get from this one church, and I think she's very smart doing this prior to the Mother Daughter Banquet. Whether this would work in a really large church, I don't know. But I think it's worth a try, especially for someone NOT in the South, but planning to attend an SEC school.

[Zillini]

It says that a rec is required to become initiated in our Promise Book (NM manual). However, I have been an initiated member for 4 years and I'd really like to know who wrote that rec for me, or if that rule has changed.
We have the same policy. When we have a new member that doesn't have a rec we look for an alum in her hometown/area who would be willing to write one. If that isn't possible then one of our advisors will make a point of spending time with the NM and then write her rec. Honestly I doubt the NM knows any of this. It might embarrass her to find out that she was the only one in her whole NM class who didn't have a rec.

[sororitygirl007]

i wanna start a sorority for my highschool friends and our fellow classmates. we need help on making up a greek name that signifies beauty wealth (?) strong character. we would also need help on some ideas on what we can do to make it a good sorority. please help we need ideas on good tradicions, good fun pledge ideas, things that we could to do on a weekly basis. please any information would help :] thanks
tiffany

[SWTXBelle]

:eek:

Greek - Αποτελέσματα αναζήτησης για

Okay, enough fun. I'm against high school sororities. How about a National Charity League chapter? Or any one of a number of wonderful organizations for high school aged women? www.nationalcharityleague.org (http://www.nationalcharityleague.org)

[AnchorAlumna]

It says that a rec is required to become initiated in our Promise Book (NM manual). However, I have been an initiated member for 4 years and I'd really like to know who wrote that rec for me, or if that rule has changed.
Delta Gamma's Executive Offices keeps a little form on each pledge/new member. I've seen mine, and it listed my sponsor (and I wrote a note to thank her!). Maybe Sigma Kappa has a similar arrangement.

[APhi4Ever]

i wanna start a sorority for my highschool friends and our fellow classmates. we need help on making up a greek name that signifies beauty wealth (?) strong character. we would also need help on some ideas on what we can do to make it a good sorority. please help we need ideas on good tradicions, good fun pledge ideas, things that we could to do on a weekly basis. please any information would help :] thanks
tiffany

:eek: Please don't start a high school sorority. Beauty, wealth (?) strong character. Strong character is the most important to me.

[violetpretty]

In some organizations, undergrad members can write recs. Your chapter may have secured a rec for you through someone you already knew in the chapter without your knowledge of her doing so.
I also know that some chapters will contact Alumnae Panhellenic chapters when the list of registered girls comes out (especially when recruitment is deferred) to try to get recs that way. So you just never know...

I've written recs for NMs after meeting them. They had no idea. :)

We have the same policy. When we have a new member that doesn't have a rec we look for an alum in her hometown/area who would be willing to write one. If that isn't possible then one of our advisors will make a point of spending time with the NM and then write her rec. Honestly I doubt the NM knows any of this. It might embarrass her to find out that she was the only one in her whole NM class who didn't have a rec.

Delta Gamma's Executive Offices keeps a little form on each pledge/new member. I've seen mine, and it listed my sponsor (and I wrote a note to thank her!). Maybe Sigma Kappa has a similar arrangement.

I guess everyone in my chapter is illegitimately initiated. I asked the Advisory Board Chair and the New Member Educator and they both say we don't do recs even though it is our National policy to have one.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Please see link below.

http://www.kappaalphatheta.org/hilights/pnm_message.cfm

[texas*princess]

:eek: Please don't start a high school sorority. Beauty, wealth (?) strong character. Strong character is the most important to me.

yea i found it pretty funny "beauty & wealth" were mentioned before "strong character".

[Thetagirl218]

Please see link below.

http://www.kappaalphatheta.org/hilights/pnm_message.cfm

I was just about to post this link! :)

Apparently Theta is not the only GLO cautioning against these websites if Pahellenic is involved! I hope this goes out to all the Panhellenic members!

[AnchorAlumna]

I guess everyone in my chapter is illegitimately initiated. I asked the Advisory Board Chair and the New Member Educator and they both say we don't do recs even though it is our National policy to have one.
Is it possible that your chapter hasn't been doing it correctly? Even Advisory Board Chairs can be wrong. Read your constitution and established rules (sometimes known as policies and procedures) for yourself and find out.

[OTW]

Please see link below.

http://www.kappaalphatheta.org/hilights/pnm_message.cfm

I wonder if AGD will issue a similar statement regarding RIFs and 3rd party companies considering one of our members is guilty of running one of those 3rd party sites? :rolleyes:

[Benzgirl]

^^^^I would like to think so. Maybe we can put a bug in their ear.

[honeychile]

Please see link below.

http://www.kappaalphatheta.org/hilights/pnm_message.cfm

:eek: On a scale of 1-10, paying for a rec must rate about a 200 on the Tacky-o-meter!

[ThetaPrincess24]

:eek: On a scale of 1-10, paying for a rec must rate about a 200 on the Tacky-o-meter!

I dont see how it would look favorably on a PNM actually....

[GeekyPenguin]

If you are going to contact someone asking to be put in touch with alumnae in your area, please either GIVE your area, or respond to them promptly.

You don't need to tell me you live on 123 Main Street in Anytown, but it would be helpful to say "I live in anytown" or "I live near Grand Forks."

Also, don't tell us you are going to attend UM (Michigan? Minnesota? Miami?) or USC (South Carolina? Southern California?) - be specific!

[Lou_from_Ga]

Hello Ya'll! First I must say I have so enjoyed reading this forum... I laugh and cry - so many touching stories! My question (I didn't see it anywhere - no flames please!) is my daughter has a friend who is willing to write a Recommendation for her. On the Recommendation form it asks for Leadership & Activities - can she just attach my daughters resume - she's done alot :) - or does she have to write in all her activites? My daughter thought that attaching the resume would be ok but I wanted to check for opinions!

[OTW]

Hello Ya'll! First I must say I have so enjoyed reading this forum... I laugh and cry - so many touching stories! My question (I didn't see it anywhere - no flames please!) is my daughter has a friend who is willing to write a Recommendation for her. On the Recommendation form it asks for Leadership & Activities - can she just attach my daughters resume - she's done alot :) - or does she have to write in all her activites? My daughter thought that attaching the resume would be ok but I wanted to check for opinions!

A resume should be fine. I've written recs for girls and indicated 'see attached resume' under Leadership and Activities. The way girls get involved these days, there's no way to fit it in 3 lines!

[Lou_from_Ga]

Thank you OTW!