Hot Girl vs. Average Guy

[sororitygirl2]

The thread called "Fat like me" got me thinking...

So, I had a guy tell me "It's easier in life to be an average man than an average woman, but hot girls have it way easier than average guys." I said not being a hot girl, that I wouldn't know and then he told me to quite fishing for compliments and that I know I'm hot - I wasn't really fishing but I do love when guys say that - but anyway... do you agree?

How important are looks in America? I know it matters in some things - even when it shouldn't, like recruitment - but I'm talking about in job hunts, relationships, everything... Overall, is it significantly easier for attractive people than unattractive people?

And don't you always wonder when you see couples with an extreme discrepancy in the caliber of their looks? It seems to me that it is usually more attractive girls with less-attractive boyfriends...

[librasoul22]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
Overall, is it significantly easier for attractive people than unattractive people?

In a word, yes.

[Rudey]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
The thread called "Fat like me" got me thinking...

So, I had a guy tell me "It's easier in life to be an average man than an average woman, but hot girls have it way easier than average guys." I said not being a hot girl, that I wouldn't know and then he told me to quite fishing for compliments and that I know I'm hot - I wasn't really fishing but I do love when guys say that - but anyway... do you agree?

How important are looks in America? I know it matters in some things - even when it shouldn't, like recruitment - but I'm talking about in job hunts, relationships, everything... Overall, is it significantly easier for attractive people than unattractive people?

And don't you always wonder when you see couples with an extreme discrepancy in the caliber of their looks? It seems to me that it is usually more attractive girls with less-attractive boyfriends...

If you're not attractive, don't dress well, and can't act like you've got something (like hardcore giant genitalia) to you then you're nowhere in life. You will never be the BSD.

Although for women I'd say you being attractive gets you no where. Only one lady is hot in our office and she's a glorified secretary whose only ambition is to sell us gifts to raise money for her church.

-Rudey
--She promised me a "What would Jeter Do?" shirt though so I like her.

[sororitygirl2]

Okay, but say someone, on the whole, is not stereotypically attractive, but they are well-groomed, well-dressed, intelligent and confident. Can they achieve as much and be seen in the same light as a similar person with better looks? If it came down to two people who were identical except for looks in a job search, how would it be decided?

I don't know exactly what I am looking for, but I want proof that it truly is easier...

[Rudey]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
Okay, but say someone, on the whole, is not stereotypically attractive, but they are well-groomed, well-dressed, intelligent and confident. Can they achieve as much and be seen in the same light as a similar person with better looks? If it came down to two people who were identical except for looks in a job search, how would it be decided?

I don't know exactly what I am looking for, but I want proof that it truly is easier...

No. The big swinging dicks produce results. Look at any CEO. They weren't the ones getting the chicken heads but they definitely have had a couple hot wives who want to be wined and dined.

You still have to have a solid foundation to work off of because if you walk in wearing Aldo shoes and an Express suit and you're really smart, chances are you aren't gonna luck out like Bill Gates.

-Rudey

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
I'm talking about in job hunts, relationships, everything... Overall, is it significantly easier for attractive people than unattractive people?


I absolutely believe that it is easier for someone who is attractive to get his or her foot in the proverbial door but there has to be more to them than looks if they want to get any further.

Now that I'm old and haggard, things like this don't happen anymore (damn!!! lol), but I can think of times when the fact that I was pretty cute helped me. When I pumped $10.00 worth of gas at the self serve pump and then realized I only had $5.00 in my wallet, the attendant told me not to worry about it because he would give me the "pretty girl discount". I've waitressed in the past and always made phenomenal tips while other servers who were better at their job but not as attractive as me made less. Living in New York at the end of the eighties (the most looks-oriented, shallow decade on record, IMO) and early nineties, my girlfriends and I knew that we could slip into our tiny little Alaia dresses and beebop right past the clamoring thongs and the doorman and get into Nell's or Limelight or wherever people were going to see and be seen.

You know, though, I'm not sure how handy being attractive comes in a relationship because usually both parties are of equal attractiveness. So if you have two people who are used to getting their way, there can be major headbutting!

[AOIIjaxxsuga]

I think that being attractive has its pluses and minuses. It's hard for women to overcome certain stereotypes (especially when they have a particular haircolor...ahem). I think being attractive is useful in situations like when a girl needs help changing a tire or she wants to get into a hot club...but in terms of career, I'm not sure. It can go both ways. And there will always be people who say, "Oh, it's only because she's pretty that she got that job...", etc.

[sugar and spice]

I think a lot of guys think it's easier to be a hot woman because of stereotypical benefits like not having to pay for drinks at clubs, etc.

However there are a lot of drawbacks too. Attractive woman are more likely to have low self-esteem and develop eating disorders than unattractive women. A lot of pretty women feel like the only good thing about them is their looks; many don't get taken seriously. Guys tend to assume you're sluttier. As we've mentioned here on GC, it is EXPENSIVE to maintain your hotness, and it can take a toll on your pocketbook and your emotional state.

So it has its pluses and minuses. I think the surface benefits are great -- more likely to get hired, get flirted with, get into a club -- but when you look at the deeper issues it starts to even out.

[sororitygirl2]

Ooohh... that's so true about being self-conscious. For the most part, I am really confident, but my confidence falters whenever I feel that I am not being hit on as much as I used to, or when I start to feel that maybe I am looking older (even though I only graduated from college a few years ago). It's like when you are used to being the PYT, you worry if you aren't anymore.

[MeLikey]

I think being attractive has more benefits. I think as a whole, society places so much value on beauty, which is why there are more benefits. For instance, the owner of the bar I always went to at school took a liking to me--always got me drinks when he saw me, even asked me out--and I know it was based on my looks.

As sugar and spice said, yes, there are attractive girls who have low self-esteem and have eating disorders. However, there are many beautiful girls with high self-esteem who are naturally thin. Guys are always asking if I work out and compliment me on my body... and I am taken aback because I don't work out and I eat whatever I want--I'm just blessed with a high metabolism.

In terms of jobs, I'm sure being good looking couldn't hurt your chances. I recently went to a job fair with my sister (my mom just tagged along too) and 3 different older women told my mom, "You have beautiful daughters!" It's nice to hear, but in reality unless you have the qualifications, it really doesn't matter. Looks don't compensate for experience.

One drawback however, is that guys may be intimidated to approach a beautiful girl out of fear of rejection--anyone ever see those Jenny Jones shows about this topic?

[Rudey]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
Ooohh... that's so true about being self-conscious. For the most part, I am really confident, but my confidence falters whenever I feel that I am not being hit on as much as I used to, or when I start to feel that maybe I am looking older (even though I only graduated from college a few years ago). It's like when you are used to being the PYT, you worry if you aren't anymore.

Do you really start to worry about aging that quickly? I think i'd make a hot older guy.

-Rudey
--And I'd hire a hot secretary too.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by MeLikey
...One drawback however, is that guys may be intimidated to approach a beautiful girl out of fear of rejection--anyone ever see those Jenny Jones shows about this topic?



I think in some cases this statement is true.
But I don't think the Jenny Jones guests are a good example of this. Those women on Jeeny Jones that can't get a date because they are too beautiful have ugly personalities and nasty attitudes. That's why they can't get dates...they're b****es.

[moe.ron]

Jenny Jones still on?

They're showing re-run of ricki down here.

Go Ricki, Go Ricki, Go Ricki

[MeLikey]

I don't think Jenny Jones is still on, but I did used to watch it a few years ago.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally posted by sororitygirl2
when I start to feel that maybe I am looking older (even though I only graduated from college a few years ago). It's like when you are used to being the PYT, you worry if you aren't anymore.

I'm sure you're just as adorable as you've ever been! I think it's just as you get older, the guys surrounding you are older also and they don't hit on women as overtly as the younger guys do.

I understand what you mean though. I guess I was 24 and quite used to lots of attention from the opposite sex when my then-fiance (now husband) took me to visit his Navy ship. Not only did the crew not gawk at me, several of them called me "ma'am"! :eek: I was traumatized! lol I actually complained to my fiance about it and was only slightly mollified when he explained that hitting on officers' girlfriends wasn't something guys did when they're serving on a ship together. So I was satisfied with that. Pretty much. lol :)

[decadence]

Does m'aam imply age seniority? I found it used a lot when I was in the southern USA and I just thought it was (non age specific) term of respect for an adult female? I guess Missy doesn't work though. What's better?

[Ginger]

That's SUCH a dangerous line :) Some women will get offended if you call them Ma'am... because it makes them feel old. Some women will feel you're being disrespectful if you call them Miss... that you don't think enough of them to call them Ma'am.

My general rule (and I don't know how this applies in other parts of the country... this is the North, this could get me blacklisted in the South I suppose) is that if the woman is older than me, or married, she is Ma'am. If she's younger than me, she's Miss.

Use at your own risk :)

[GeekyPenguin]

Ma'am is SO rude. There are very few things I hate more than being called ma'am. Since it is now the holiday shopping season (I kid you not, we have a tree up in my store) there's a lot of men coming in who would always say "Excuse me, ma'am, could you get me this sweater in another size?" I know they're just being polite but I HATE it. I try to avoid using ma'am/miss whenever possible.

[decadence]

Surprised. When I was in AL, use of Sir and M'aam seemed de rigeur for speaking to a member of the opposite sex without excessive familiarity and whom you didn't know.

[breathesgelatin]

Speaking as a Southerner, I'd prefer to be called "Miss" until I'm at least 30. Calling a 19 year-old Ma'am is awkward. But plenty of people down south do call younger women Ma'am because they were just trained in a psycho fashion to do so.

[Ginger]

I've always wondered... what is so bad about Ma'am?

I'm 24 and I get called ma'am all the time... I don't mind... what is it about that word?

I'd rather be called that than "Hey, lady" or "Hey, You" :p

[Ginger]

fear not, Kath... you're younger than me. You're a Miss :)