Juniorgrrl

[canada_jen]

Just wondering how everything is going? Have you heard back from that chapter yet? I wish you nothing but the best, and hope that you get your wish of becoming greek http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Please keep us all posted!

[juniorgrrl]

Bid day is tomorrow, according to their website. At the party, they were *really* unspecific about what came next, so I have no ideas if there were parties this week that I wasn't invited to. After tomorrow though, I'll know for sure

[juniorgrrl]

Just for an update ya'll...Its 3:05 PM on "Bid Day" and I haven't heard anything. I don't know what time bids were to be distributed, so there's still hope. But very little...

[ISU_XO]

Good luck Juniorgrrl - you probably said in other posts but what sorority(s) were you interested in?

[juniorgrrl]

I didn't name the house. I'm not sure why - maybe not to jinx it, maybe because I didn't want any actives from the chapter to come here and see my posts...

Email me (juniorgrrl@hotmail.com) and I will let you know http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[juniorgrrl]

Just to give an update to the situation: the sorority that couldn't call me enough last week to make sure I was coming to the party didn't make the simple effort to call me and let me know that they had decided not to extend a bid. Because bid day was Friday and I haven't heard from them since the party last Sunday, I can assume that I did not recieve an invitation to join.

I'm sorry if I sound a bit soured by this whole experience, but it is very disheartening to be called out of the blue by a group and invited to their party, called at least twice a day for 3 or 4 days by members making sure you are coming to the party, and then never hear from them again. I think it would have been polite for them to at least call me and express their regrets rather than have me wonder.

[33girl]

juniorgrrl...

I am so sorry you had to go through this. But look at it this way. Now you know for sure that wasn't where you were meant to be. How many girls were at the open bid party? They should at least call to let you know. Take care and keep your chin up.

[juniorgrrl]

I'm not sure how many girls were at the party - 20 or 30 maybe? At the party, they didn't even tell us when selections would be and when their bid day would be. I found out that Friday was Bid Day all on my own by checking out their website.

[coffeemug]

Ohhh that is terrible!! I am so sorry I don't know what to say...maybe you could contact that groups national org or an advisor from that group if they are listed on their website?

[juniorgrrl]

What good would it do to contact the nationals? Did they violate some sort of rule?

[Allie_XO]

At first I wasn't going to comment, but.. what the hell. Juniorgrrl - I am soo sorry about how things worked out for you. From reading your posts, I can't help but want to cry foul. I just think that it is wrong to informally rush someone that you don't have room for. I don't know what org this is, but I would ask some questions. Granted, I haven't been "on the inside" of rush yet, but that just seems mean. Especially since you've been through it before.

But always remember, if the group doesn't realize what a great person you are, why should you bother with them??

Love
Allie http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/tongue.gif

[coffeemug]

I doubt they broke some kind of rule but they definitely treated you poorly. It would be one thing if they had called once or you had responded to a flyer or something but instead you were called multiple times and you were there for a half hour and then completely ditched. It is no wonder this chapter has trouble rushing if they treat PNM like that!

I think that as an advisor I would want that sort of feedback.

[carnation]

I agree with the last two posts--Juniorgrrl, you got treated so badly! Somebody needs to know!

[33girl]

As a veteran of MULTIPLE open bid parties, we did not call a woman back over and over unless we were very interested in her and planned to give her a bid...multiple invites were usually to quell whatever doubts she might have had about joining and keep her interest up.

Something that may have happened is that there is some kind of internal chapter conflict - half the girls wanted to bid you, half didn't, and you got stuck in the undertow. If that is the case, then dammit, they should call you back and give you a REAL explanation, not this cut once cut again business. It sounds like they are doing things in a very unorganized way and are not unified.

If you feel close enough to your friend who is a member, I would go to her and ask her. Tell her you realize she can't violate the secrecy of voting sessions, but you were confused by the sorority's actions. If I was in that situation and a rushee confronted me, I would be honest.

[juniorgrrl]

Just to clarify a few things: there was only one party, but I was called by no less than 5 different members making sure I was coming and asking if I needed a ride. I had 1 call last Tuesday, 1 last Wednesday (I called both back on Wednesday) 2 Thursday and 2 Friday. The party lasted 90 minutes and I was rushed by 2 different girls. The second one and I got along pretty well - she even gave me a hug as I left.

I ran into my friend yesterday, but we acted like nothing happened. I dont even think she was at the party on Sunday. I feel a bit wierd calling her about it, because last time she was so ambiguious, and then this time she didn't even know that I had been invited until I asked her about it.

I don't know if it was the cut once cut again this time. It could have been many things - I'm too old, I dressed wrong...who knows.

Really, I don't think that Greek Affairs here cares very much. The system is so very cliqueish its hard to get an answer out of anyone. They would probably just tell me that I can't know why I was cut, end of story.

[juniorgrrl]

Okay, I don't mean to keep bringing this up, but I've got a question about something else. They gave out plastic cups painted with their sorority name and an info packet at the party I went to. I was wondering what I should do with it. I don't want to be disrespectful to something with letters on it, but I have no need for a painted cup of an organization that I'm not in.

Also, I thought they weren't allowed to give out favors at rush parties?

[ISU_XO]

That is very strange but this chapter of this sorority (we all know that one chapter does not represent the whole sorority) has the strangest ways of doing rush!! It seems like they asked a ton of girls to the parties (30 for informal rush? - seems like a lot to me - we usually asked 10 )- 5 girls calling you and none of them seemed to know the others were calling. Rush parties are mandatory but your friend did not go and they let you leave with stuff? You are never to let a rushee leave with anything from a party. juniorgrrl- you deserve so much better than that from a sorority - I hope your heart finds a place that deserves a sister like you!

[USFSDTAlum]

You can throw them away, they do not represent any "offical" (for lack of a better term) paraphanelia. I have thrown away things with my letters on it before, just small dorky stuff, or if you want offer it to your friend. Really, no big deal. On the 2nd note, at least at my school you can give out little things at informal, but formal rush it would be a rush infraction if a girl left with even a napkin, the difference is, is that in informal you don't have to attend every house, just the one's you are intrested in. Hope this helps

[shadokat]

juniorgrrl--

first of all, you got treated like sh*t by this sorority, and even if they did offer you a bid at this point, I'd tell them to go to h-e-double hockey stick!

As for your question regarding the cup, if the process is informal rush, you are allowed to receive gifts. You are only not allowed to give out gifts at formal rush. I know when we have informals or COB, we give the women something...a candle, or something they might make or do at the party. It's legit, but if you don't want it, which I don't see why you would, I'd throw it away and close that chapter of your life.

Originally posted by juniorgrrl:
Okay, I don't mean to keep bringing this up, but I've got a question about something else. They gave out plastic cups painted with their sorority name and an info packet at the party I went to. I was wondering what I should do with it. I don't want to be disrespectful to something with letters on it, but I have no need for a painted cup of an organization that I'm not in.

Also, I thought they weren't allowed to give out favors at rush parties?

[33girl]

You could always paint the Ghostbusters/international "not" symbol over the letters and tote it everywhere.

Hee hee....bad me....seriously, if you just want to pitch it it is not a big deal. I've seen lots of party cups get pitched because they were beyond repair.

Geez...just the fact that you even cared enough to ask about this - something that a lot of people probably wouldn't even think of or wonder....makes me even more pi$$ed at the crappy treatment you received. It is definitely their loss.

[juniorgrrl]

Hehe 33girl, I like your idea http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Seriously, though, I learned that letters were special things from GC, nowhere else. Some of the sorority girls don't take it that seriously here - some letters are better than others, but that's all they seem to care about.

Thanks for all your advice, ya'll. I seriously want to do the right thing in any case. Part of me has been tempted to call their house phone and ask what is going on, but then I realize that that won't bother them one bit because they don't care.

Anyway, I'm over it, I never was that hurt to begin with. I pretty much expected it to turn out like this.

[imsohappythatiama]

Hi juniorgrrl:

I just want to say that I think what was done to you royally sucks. I want so badly to make those girls (you never did say what house it was, did you? What a lady you are!) see that what they did to you was not only cruel, but against Panhellenic rush rules.

Someone wrote in an earlier post that you might have gotten caught in an "undertow"; that is when 1/2 the house loves you, and the other 1/2 of the house doesn't love you, and therefore you don't move up anyone's list. I can understand if that's what happened to you; it does happen, but after all of the crap they've put you though, I'd think they would owe you an explanation.

I have been through Rush as a rushee, an active, a Rush chair, and a Rush advisor at 2 different campuses--that's 3 different chapters of the same sorority, and at every chapter the girls were VERY careful (with constant prodding from me to boot) about NOT leading girls on who were going to be cut eventually. And I think most sororites are mindful of this--of not leading girls on. So I just can't understand what is going in that chapter.

You're right to think that calling the house phone of the chapter in question won't do any good. But calling Panhellenic and/or calling that chapter's advisory board and/or calling that chapter's national Membership Chairperson would really do some good. As an advisor, even though it would hurt me to hear that my actives had done such a thing to rushee, I would want to know about it, because it could really open up some dialogue for the chapter, and help the chapter to learn the meanings and consequences behind their actions.

I've held my tongue for a while on this subject, and (as you can see), I just can't hold it anymore! I urge you to let the appropriate people know what happened to you; even anonymously, since you can help others to avoid the nastiness you've had to endure. And a large Greek system like LSU really needs this kind of check-up every once in a while. And maybe it will make you feel better, in the end?

Also, I would encourage you to consider Alumn Initiation into a sorority. Check out threads on this topic in the "Alumni" bulletin board here on Greek Chat. I dont' know you from Adam, but you seem like a really super girl, with a lot to offer a chapter; even an alumna chapter (they're more fun than you think!!!!!)

Also, I hope the LSAT went well, and that this whole Rush fiasco didn't mess up your concentration.

Best of luck to you, and I know you will go far, because you are such a smart cookie!!!

------------------
Oh, Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma,
I'm so happy that I am a
Kappa Kappa Kappa Gamma,
Nobody knows . . . how
happy I am!

[This message has been edited by imsohappythatiama (edited February 16, 2001).]

[CutiePie2000]

juniorgrrl, you definitely got some rotten treatment. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif I have emailed you also.