Do all guys act like this?

[binks]

I had one h*ll of a night last night.

Since i got back from my brother's wedding the guy i was dating had been acting wierd. I gave him Every chace to talk to me about it. i would ask him if we been to talk and he would say no. the last nigth he had guy night and i had girl night. he shows up at the bad i was at and he come and hangs out for awhile. i then i had to find my sisters and later he came and found me. we were talking and i asked him if he wanted me to drive him home since his friends had been drinking. he was like maybe i don't know, i was like otay. we had made plans to go out today and he had to cancel cause of a friends B-day. I was upset but i was gonna get over it. THE BIG KICK IN THE @$$. we go in the patio were it is empty and started talking. he told me that he didn't want a relationship but he cares about me soo much and he does love me and maybe in the future wants a relationship, but he can't handle one right now he still wants to party ( he is 22)
i would have been fine with that but he couldn't tell me any of this sober, he told me when he was drunk!! THAT WAS WHAT REALLY HURT> Would anyone else agree it was disrespectful of him to do that. my best friend got soo Pissed of that she went to talk to himjust to see what he did and he told her everything that he loved me but couldn't give me what i deserve right now and that he is scare to be with me. God, i love my sisters and the my greek friends that were there. My sister toke my keys( i was DD) and started buying me drinks and got someone to drive my car home. the bartenders that i was friends with (greek) told me they would get him kicked out if i wanted it done.

Where are all the good guys?I know i'm like a sister to them

[jonsagara]

Nah - not all guys. Sure, we all act dumb around girls at one time or another, but not everyone behaves like this dope. :)

[Jaggergirl]

Hang in there. Not all guys are jerks. Sometimes they're just so immature, insecure, etc. they aren't really sure how to act. (Sometimes girls are the same way.)

I live by the motto that it's better to be alone than be in a mediocre relationship. That being said, sometimes I'm single more than I'd prefer but it's better to have a bunch of good, single nights than three months of bad boyfriend drama. Know what I mean?

And you'll be amazed. Once you make it clear that you won't take shit from guys, they really stop dishing it out.

[APhi]

Hey, on the upside it sounds like you have GREAT friends to see you through so count your blessings. This guy sounds like he's not even worth worrying about and at least you found out now.

[PM_Mama00]

I hope not all guys are like that. However, were u still drunk when u wrote that? Or just really pissed? Cuz I had to reread sentences to understand them....

[valkyrie]

Binks, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but at least he was honest with you. If he's not ready for a relationship in general or a relationship with you, there's nothing you can do about it. Yes, it would have been much better if he told you while sober, but maybe he was nervous and afraid -- not that I'm making excuses for him, but I bet that's what it was.

Although it sucks, at least now you KNOW what's up and you can move on. Good luck, and I'm sure you will meet an awesome guy soon!! :)

[binks]

Hey everyone!

Well, the answer is no for being drunk when i wrote this, i was just really Pissed!! I'm not upset anymore. i'm just disappoint on the way he told me. i think we are gonna talk this weekend. All i know is he told me that he wanted me to keep all the clothes i have stolen from him, and well even though they are boxer and PJ, i still am going too. HaHaHa:)

gotta go --
Greek love

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by valkyrie
Binks, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but at least he was honest with you. If he's not ready for a relationship in general or a relationship with you, there's nothing you can do about it. Yes, it would have been much better if he told you while sober, but maybe he was nervous and afraid -- not that I'm making excuses for him, but I bet that's what it was.

Although it sucks, at least now you KNOW what's up and you can move on. Good luck, and I'm sure you will meet an awesome guy soon!! :)

I agree.

The whole being drunk thing was a total copout, but other than that, this situation could have been MUCH worse.

Better that he tell you he is not ready now then you go therough the heartbreak of a long relationship with him cheating on you and trying to figure out what he wants.

[binks]

Well, i agree with you guys!!

i'm just upset with the fact he is getting mad that i am going out. On Friday, we went to happy hour, and when i got to my best friend's house her boyfriend had just found out chad would be there and so they asked if i would Okay if i went and not get upset. I have no reason to be upset, i would like to still have a friendship with him. I was on my best behavior, well for a drunk girl. I didn't start anything. Then i Find out that he made a comment to my best friends' boyfriend about me being at the bar, like i knew he was gonna be there when i promised i would go. I mean i was dressed up and looked Damn Goood, i was gonna go out. And the funny thing was he even called me on friday night around 130am to find out what i was doing. I think i'm being the grown up here. Am i not supposed to have a life? I like going out , but sometimes i go through periods were all i want to do is stay in and do casual things.I was in a period like that when we went out and i was slowly getting out of it. Well, i have to go i will talk to everyone later.

greek love,
Binks

[James]

How long were you guys actually dating-dating? Not just googley eyed :)

[Kevlar281]

I’m confused, all of this took place and you still plan on talking it out?

[binks]

Well, we dated for a month. we saw each other once a day and i spent the night at his place evey night. i have actually decided that yeah it would be good to be friends eventually. BUT he is gonna have to work on that. I have been soo nice. And if he was gonna be a Jerk, Well Sc**w him. I have lots of friends who love me, i have my sisters at ECU and at my current school. I have a 3.2 GPA. was VP of greek council for 1 1/2 years(the only reason i have to stop is cause of my class schedule for next year). i am a promising art student who has the chance to study in Italy and Ireland in the fall of 2003 ( one for glass and the other for metal) I have leadership positions in my sorority. And what has he done with his life, he is a college drop out, thinks you can't have fun unless you go out drinking. He says that my parents baby me, but he lives next to his parents and he doesn't even know how to take care of himself. Yes, i will agree i get baby, but one reason is cause i suffer from a disorder that almost killed me twice about 2 years ago. when i came home from ECU, that was the first time i had talked to my parents in almost a year, i was independent from them, all they paid was my tution. I have bet soo my odds and my parents are now rewarding me for it. But he as done nothing with his life, except feel sorry for himself. Like one of my guy friends said he doesn't realize what he is giving up, Any guy would be crazy not to want me. I'm one of the girls at a party you would think would be a little Bitchy cause of my friends, and yeah i can be when i am pissed off at you, but i'm actaully really sweet and nice. H@ll, i may not be perfect but i am always me. No one can change that.

ta-ta for now:)
Binks

[UF_PikePC98]

Why is it that girls think it is shitty to talk about deep stuff when you are wasted?

[Dionysus]

Originally posted by UF_PikePC98
Why is it that girls think it is shitty to talk about deep stuff when you are wasted?

Beats me. I don't know why girls do or think a lot of stuff that they do. :confused: :confused: :confused: That's what I get for growing up around mostly guys. :rolleyes:

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by UF_PikePC98
Why is it that girls think it is shitty to talk about deep stuff when you are wasted?

Well, if I remember correctly the times I've been run for doing it, it's mostly b/c it's a cop-out - "what, you can't talk to me about this stuff sober? PEACE." That sorta thing, like you're not man enough to talk it out sober.

Women should just remember, though - it's not always a cop-out, sometimes that's when stuff actually comes up . . . and sometimes it's not entirely our fault we don't want to talk about this stuff sober - sometimes there are issues of accessibility, understanding, listening, etc.

Although usually I was copping out, I won't lie about that.

[binks]

It's not soo much that he told me when he was drunk( it was too the point you couldn't understand most of what he was saying), but i was over at his house earlier that afternoon and i asked if everything was otay. he said it was, so i believed him. We ended up hooking up before i went home to get ready. That was one reason it was shitty. It made me feel like i was being used, wouldn't you?

[Peaches-n-Cream]

I'm sorry that your feelings were hurt. :(

[justamom]

Binks, if I'm wrong about your description then blow this entire post off!

Binks sees guy-guy sees Binks they watch each other and go out on a date-Hot and heavy...Binks moves in, guy and binks go at it every night for a month, guy gets tired of it and wants his space so in a kind way he says, LETS STILL BE FRIENDS......MAYBE IN THE FUTURE....

This may sound harsh, but I am amazed...James asked an excellent question about amount of time you dated
Well, we dated for a month. we saw each other once a day and i spent the night at his place evey night.

Did you just, move in? Did you even talk about it? Most people need a little breathing room and after one month (if I'm getting you right) it all seems a bit much and the guy was probably feeling smothered. He may have been feelig so guilty about what he wanted/needed to tell you, getting drunk was his way to find the courage........NOT GOOD, but the picture you're painting sounds like to much too soon.

, so i believed him. We ended up hooking up before i went home to get ready. That was one reason it was shitty. It made me feel like i was being used, wouldn't you?

You need to get a handle on your emotions. I think you can figure out the answer to your own question.

I'm really sorry if I'm missing something.

[binks]

i just want to answer questions that seem to lingering in my mind about the last post. Yes i think things with us went too fast, we both agree on that. I didn't just move in there. I only had one thing there and that was a movie that we watched one night and i forget to take it with me. He was alway asking me to spend the night, not to have sex with him, just cause we both enjoy sleeping/cuddling next to someone. But i didn't spend the night there every night. I was alway telling him to go out with his friend, i just ask that one night or day that we hang out just us and do something fun ( like go to the pool or river). I understand friendships are important and i NEVER asked him or Wanted him to give up going out. I'm not like that! I think he felt guilty cause i can't really drink cause of my illness and it is acting up. Yes that week after the scene at the bar, i called him three times, he never answered. One reason is that my friends who introduced us, were pissed at him and my best friend said something mean to him, cause she and her boyfriend talked him up soo much to me, so i would give him a chance ( my very picky about guys!) She and her boyfriend felt that he made them into liars. My last message, said that i was sorry about my friend being @sses, but i can't control them, they do what they want.( i did tell to behave though) And that i was movin in two weeks and wanted to give him the clothes he gave me. he Never called me back. Well last night i was sleeping it was midnight, and my cell rings, i answer thinking it is one of my friends, but it is him. i didn't realize who it was, i thought is was my friend chris at first. Chad called to see how i was, he found out i had to go into the hospital for the day. He was actually sober. He let me tell him everything i needed to tell him. and he told me everything he was sorry for. He admitted he was a @ss while we dated and that i didn't deserve it. He told me he missed me, he loved me and cared for me, and maybe there was a possible romantic relationship in the far future but he wasn't ready now for anythign serious, with anyone. He asked me if i would consider having a friendship with him right now. I told him i don't know and i would have to think about it. It's not because i have feelings for him, its cause i'm not sure i can be friends with someone who could treat me like he did, and if we did have a friendship things would have to change. I told him i would call him when i was ready to talk to him, and i asked him not to call me. I'm going sisterhood weekend with about 7 of my sisters ( one as a house at the beach) And i will think about it there and get their input( they were my support last week.)
Justamom and anyone who reads this post and wrote, i hope you didn't get the wrong impression of me. I'm not slutty, maybe extremely affectionate and huggable( it was the way i was brought up). I know a lot i wrote was written when i was emotional, and sometimes that isn't the best time to write, but reading the post everyone wrote did helped me think about the situation. Thanks! I will keep you posted about stuff, i would love to hear what you think

Greek lovin'
binks