married with a child

[tinkerbelltexas]

hello,

i am 22 and would love nothing more than to join our local Delta Zeta sorority at UTPA. i am also married, for 2 years now, and have a 14 month old daughter. i really wanted to rush this fall, but i was wondering if there were any rules or regulations about this. please reply asap.

kristin

[imadeltaz]

Hi,
No rules as far as I am aware of. However, having a a toddler to take care of might be really time consuming as rush, the new member program, and being a DZ sister requires a LOT of dedication and time. I am also not sure about your University, and the living requirements Delta Zeta has to fill a house if there is one.

I think that Delta Zeta sisterhood should be diverse and ageless (I pledged when I was 21), but being married and having a 16 month old myself, I don't know where I would find the time for it. But that is just me. I am sure that anyone who has weighed the options of being in a sorority and is positive that they can handle the committment would be an asset in every way!

Good Luck!
Tracy:D

[AchtungBaby80]

I know having a family is a drain on your personal time, but I also know some 19-year-olds with no responsiblity who hardly ever come round to the chapter house, much less participate in anything. If this is something you want to do, I say go for it. I'm not aware of any rules saying someone in your situation couldn't join, but I would check just to be sure 'cause (contrary to what I tell everybody else) I don't know everything! ;) Last year, my boyfriend accidentally dialed the room next door to mine and left a message saying that he was wondering if his "wife" was OK (his friends refer to their girlfriends as "the wives"), and it really confused the girl who lived in that room--she said that of course she knew I wasn't married because I "couldn't be in the sorority in that case." My point here being that some seem to think married women can't be collegiate members, but after that incident I looked in all the rulebooks I could find and it said nothing about married members being banned, so...

But I'm really glad you like DZ and want to be a part of it. If the collegiate chapter doesn't work out, you can try to join an alumni chapter, but personally I'd try for the collegiate one first because it's a lot of fun. :p

[Blaire]

Okay...here is what I understand...If you become married (like three of my sisters did this summer) you become an alumnae member of Delta Zeta (ie..you're a DZ, just not active). If I remember correctly, my CCD said that once you are married, you HAVE to go alum...so, I am assuming (which may or may not be a good thing!) that if you are already married and want to go through recruitment, that if you become a DZ that you will be intiated as an alum. I am almost positive of this...however, I know that in years past, my chapter has done this! In fact, my "little sister"'s step-mom was intiated alum to our chapter back in the 70s. So, it's worth a shot!

Blaire

So proud to be a DELTA ZEE!

[imadeltaz]

We had a sister that eloped over the holidays, but she was never required to go alum. We also considered another rushee for a bid that was married, but didn't give her a bid for other reasons. It might be a chapter to chapter thing, but I am pretty sure there isn't anything official.

[dzandiloo]

Originally posted by Blaire
Okay...here is what I understand...If you become married (like three of my sisters did this summer) you become an alumnae member of Delta Zeta (ie..you're a DZ, just not active). If I remember correctly, my CCD said that once you are married, you HAVE to go alum...so, I am assuming (which may or may not be a good thing!) that if you are already married and want to go through recruitment, that if you become a DZ that you will be intiated as an alum. I am almost positive of this...however, I know that in years past, my chapter has done this! In fact, my "little sister"'s step-mom was intiated alum to our chapter back in the 70s. So, it's worth a shot!

Blaire

So proud to be a DELTA ZEE!

Hey Tinkerbell-
Hello from a fellow Texan!

FYI-Unless rules have changed very drastically since I was a chapter consultant, alum status for married sisters is strictly optional. As a collegiate at a small chapter in Texas, it was not unusual for several of the active members of our chapter to continue as actives after they were married. As long as they met the requirements for active membership (pay dues, attend all required activities, maintain grades) then they are eligible. As far as pledging a woman who is already married, I would say the decision would be up to the individual chapter. I have definitely heard of married women, and mothers being initiated into collegiate chapters.

UTPA is a unique chapter, in that they are the only panhellenic sorority on campus (I believe), and may be in the position to do some creative recruiting (i.e. not just the typical 18 y.o. freshman). I strongly urge you to go through recruitment, and get to know the women in the chapter--maybe alumnae initiation would be a better fit for you, since it does require a little less time-wise, but I say keep an open mind...I know that the Pan American would love to have more quality alumnae (they intitiated 2 new members into their alum chapter at Texas/NM regional Weekend this last March, and that was very special).

Keep us informed about what you decide to do!

[Blaire]

I hope no one thought that I was discouraging someone from going through recruitment! I'm not! Maybe the rules are different from chapter to chapter...I'm not quite sure. I know that we had a woman go through recruitment last year who was married with a child...She didn't get a bid b/c she dropped out. One of my pledge sisters has a two year old...so I know that it's not an issue if you have a child. I was just under the assumption that you had to go alum b/c so many of my sisters did! Oh, well! Anyways, recruitment is the best thing anyone can do and I encourage anyone and everyone to give it a shot! Sorry for the misunderstanings!
Much love,
Blaire

So proud to be a DELTA ZEE!

[tinkerbelltexas]

thank you for all of your input, it has made me more confident in persuing as a delta zeta.

[KillarneyRose]

Good luck to you, Tinkerbell! Please be sure and keep us posted about how rush goes for you! :)