Dating Greek Men

[TrueGreekLove]

For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

[CrimsonTide4]

WOW this is a great conversation. My replies will all be related to my experiences in dating two Greeks.

I never dated Greek men before I became a Delta. I truly believe that dating a Greek man is no different than dating a non Greek. The only difference is that they now have 3 letters across their chest. Both Greeks and non Greeks (the ones I know and have affiliated myself with) have problems with commitment especially while still in college or immediately after crossing.

I think that dating Black Greek men can be fun but it depends on that person's maturity and level of commitment to another person especially if groupies begin to come out of the woodwork.

I think that it is hard today to date and enter into a quality relationship, be they Greek, non Greek, educated, etc.


Carla

[12dn94dst]

From my experience, (duh, who else's experience would I be talking about) yes, it is different being greek and dating a man/woman who is greek as opposed to being a non-greek dating a greek. There are a lot of responsibilities that come with being greek that a non-greek may not understand or even like.

I remember one of the boyfriends I had who was not greek. We used to fight constantly about why I was doing so much with my Sorors, and I'm not talking about general hanging out and partying. He was trippin over the committe meetings and chapter meetings that I had to go to. Either he didn't understand or he was flat out jealous (he wanted to be greek but didn't have the grades). I also found it interesting that when I wasn't doing anything with the Sorors, he was always out with his friends and they would come to me saying how he was complaining that we didn't spend enough time together. It wasn't like he didn't know well in advance that I'd be in a meeting.

As for the groupies, it's up to the member to keep them in check. If you know you have a boyfriend or girlfriend (yes, sororities have groupies too) it's your responsibility to control yourself around them and make them aware the you're in a relationship and you're not going to have any foolishness.

------------------
Kelli
12-DN-94
SSU c/o 1997

[Siobhan]

I've dated both Greek and Non-Greek, however my current boyfriend is a Sigma Chi. I don't think there's a huge difference, if the guy is nice and treats you well then thats all that really matters. The GDI's I've dated were always supportive of my involvement with Delta Phi Epsilon and greek life in general. I guess the disadvantage to dating someone not in the Greek system is if they have a negative view of greeks and refuse to change their mind even after dating you. I do prefer to date Greek men because of my huge commitment to my sorority. The cool thing about my current boyfriend is that we were both rush chair at the same time and both chapter presidents at the same time. I suppose if you date someone in the Greek system there is that advantage that he will understand your reasons for being in a sorority, etc. However I have met some real slimey fraternity boys in my day and pass them over for a GDI no prob http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif. I guess it's one of those things were you have to weigh the pros and cons of the situation... they both have there advantages and disadvantages.

Siobhan

[Monique]

I am non-greek, but my last boyfriend was a member of Kappa Alpha Psi and to be honest I couldn't handle it. If It wasn't women hanging all over him it was parties, if it wasn't the parties, it was his job. He is a stripper and that leads back to the women. I was always upset or jealous.I *had* to keep in mind that *HE WAS A NUPE BEFORE ME AND HE WILL BE A NUPE AFTER ME* so, I tried to chill. But... a female can only take so much. I didn't want him to chose between 2 things he loves so I decided for him; I left him. To this day I am not sure if I made the wrong or right choice. So All I have to say is Differnt strokes for Different Folks. It might be easier for people who are both greek but to me when u are ME PHI ME like I am and involved with someone who is greek, Is Very Hard. Thats just my 5 dollors!!

[ZetaAce]

Personally, I don't find greek men any different from non-greek men. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

However, I can say that I feel that it is a little bit easier to date a greek men as far as his understanding my commitment to my sorority goes.I've dated a greek man before and I know that he understood why I won't just blow off a sorority meeting and how it's not just a 'college thing' because he has the same commitments. My last boyfriend was non-greek and never seemed to understand these concepts.

ZetaAce

[CaramelApple1971]

I can't speak for all "greek men" but MINE, and he is (like tony the tiger says)grrrreat!!! He wasn't immature before he became a Kappa but there is a big difference in his persona now than then. He is VERY mature and carries himself like the proper gentlemen he is. He is smart, takes care of himself inside and out, and always is willing to go the extra mile to help someone else.

I feel as if some men are going to act immature regardless if he is in a FRAT or not. The attitude of one should not down play the entire FRAT.

[equeen]

I don't think it will make a difference, it's the relative maturity of the two people in the relationship that can make or break it. And yes, often times affiliations can make a person more mature (or vice versa!). My personal experience is an (im)perfect example: a relationship with a greek guy did not work well (among other things, he looked down on my own greek involvement...does that make sense???). The guy I'm dating now is not greek (though he has just as serious committments to an Order he belongs to), but a delightful, supportive young man. Go figure! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[SilverTurtle]

I have never dated a greek man, before or after I became greek. My current boyfriend has never had issues with the time commitment (I'm speaking mostly from when I was still in school and most of my free time was with my GLO), he's always been supportive + mostly understanding. He is a few years older than I am, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not? Occassionally he has made an (unknowingly) innappropriate comment or joke about a/my GLO, and I've had to correct him, but that's about it.

Incidentally, I can't think of any fraternity men I would have wanted to date at my school (out of those I knew personally). I guess they're just not my type http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

------------------
SilverTurtle@greekchat.com
Phi Beta Fraternity (http://www.phibeta.com)
Phi chapter (http://homepages.go.com/~phibetaphichapter/index.html)

[BlackGoddess]

Let's see.... I am a non greek and I had a guy that I was interested in and who was interested in me...well I met this guy while he was on line for a fraternity that will remain unnamed. While he was on line he used to call me and when we would talk, he would always swear up and down that he would not change when he crossed! While he was online he seemed to be so sweet...and I really believed that he wouldn't change after he got his letters...boy was I wrong! It seemed like overnight when this boy finally crossed he became Mr. Party all the time...his conversations changed from "how are you today" to "how can i get in them panties?" He was a groupie magnet and loved it, needless to say I got tired and bored with his fake ass and I stopped dealing with him....so that's one of my experiences...fortunately it didn't turn me off to greek men because later on down the line I met another greek and he is the sweetest, most considerate, sensitive, and loving person I have ever met and we are engaged to be married. So I guess there are two sides to every coin...greek or not..men are men and they can be good or bad.

[AlphaChiGirl]

Eh, the only thing I can see it totally impacting is what you do as a couple. I've casually dated some Greek guys, and it seems like all we do is go to frat parties, etc., which I don't mind. I am, however, seriously involved with a NON-Greek who really doesn't like (but is learning to tolerate) the Greek system--it's hard because I try to keep him away from Greek events, I really don't want him to be uncomfortable (he's really not anything like any fraternity member I've ever met). So, I guess it has to do with individual comfort levels. I do know people who date ENTIRELY within NPHC groups, which is just hard for me to comprehend.

[ridiculous2000]

WHILE IN COLLEGE I DID DATE AN ALPHA AND A KAPPA. THE ALPHA RELATIONSHIP WAS GOOD AND I UNDERSTOOD THAT HE WAS VERY INVOLVED IN HIS FRAT AND THAT WAS JUST SOMETHING I HAD TO DEAL WITH. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE KAPPA SITUATION WAS RIDICULOUS. I KNOW THAT YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF YOUR ORGANIZATION, BUT HE TOOK IT TO THE EXTREME. I HAD TO CUT THAT RELATIONSHIP SHORT, BUT IT WAS GOOD WHILE IT LASTED. ANYWAY, I THINK THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS WOULD HAVE BEEN DIFFERNT IF WE WOULD HAVE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE. THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT HAPPEN IN ALL RELATIONSHIPS. I DO NOT THINK IT MATTERS IF THEY ARE GREEK OR NOT.

[Asia2000]

Seems like it might also depend on how long he has been greek. Neo's are dealing with their newfound on-campus fame -- they seem to be a bit more immature and all that is bad about greek men.

But those that have worn their letters for a little while seemed to have calmed down a bit.

I've never seriously dated a greek man. However, 2 of my girl friends who do told me that they both have this policy of "she can suck your *&#@, just don't have sex with her." They both said they understand how it is if a girl is brought to him and his frat brothers are all around -- what else is he going to do? I don't know if that is for me.

[Roadkitten]

I have dated both. I actually prefer Greek men cause GDI's usually don't have any concept of how much time we spend doing the work of our organizations and are more prone to get jealous or argue about your time committement with your org. Of course that is not to say that Greek men won't either...cause I have had that happen too...but in the end it shouldn't be about what letters that person wears or doesn't wear but about how they make you feel and how much you care about them.

[theXgirl]

I've dated both gdi and greek. I prefer greek. As mentioned earlier, the level of understanding regarding time commitment, etc.. is there. When he has a meeting, I understand, when I have to prep for rush, he understands. Also, when I got engaged to my frat guy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif , not only did I get a candle passing from my sisters, but I was serenaded by my guy and his boys. (I think it's an added bonus)

The gdi guys I dated didn't like the greek thing. Also, when I met these guys, I didn't tell them I was in a sorority at first. I found out later with one guy that had he known that I was greek, he would not have dated me. Whatever. One greek guy I dated wanted to know some house secrets. He wanted to 'compare notes' as he put it. Yeah right! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif

I did date a guy that was on line before I became greek. He was nice before and after he crossed. It was annoying when we went to parties and he had his little fan club around. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif once I became greek though, i understood where this was comming from. (I had my own little fan club) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif


[This message has been edited by theXgirl (edited June 14, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by theXgirl (edited June 14, 2000).]

[stargirl]

I've dated both. To be honest, I prefer a non Greek relationship. That's just my opinion. My husband isn't greek. When I did date a Greek, it seemed like the sorority and the fraternity he was in knew about our little spats and knew a little more that I cared to share about our personal life. Whatever you choose. Good luck to you! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[darling1]

I dated a greek man (Omega man) before he pledge and after(6yrs) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif. I had no issues because I was very secure in our relationship especially since he was in Missouri and I was in New York. I loved him dearly and found it to be the 2nd best relaionship I have ever had. For those dating greek men who aren't part of GLO's or BGLO's, if you have issues with him, talk about it and also look within yourself. I was always of the opinion that xyz chick may flirt with him but he comes home with me http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif. Just be honest and don't live with blinders. Regardless of the letters across their chest they are men, human beings nonetheless.

------------------
Never cast your pearls before swine Matthew 7:6

[Sweet Deliverance]

Interesting topic indeed... I used to date a Sigma (we both started out non-greek) and there was an understanding because of similar commitments. The gentleman I now date is not greek and frankly it doesn't matter. What he does know about my involvement with Zeta Phi Beta, he respects, and supports. PLUS he's intelligent which matters much more than being greek. I'm happy! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

------------------
Sweet Deliverance's PHI-losophy:
"What you do or do not do today determines what you can or cannot do tomorrow."

[Hip Chic]

Can I post my frustration here????

I have been a Tri Delta for two years now, and let me tell you about the ******* frat boys (and I do mean boys) that I have dated. Of course it is my own fault for dating these jerks...but they can be sooo convincing and man do they look good in khakis and button downs!! Anyway, I have dated guys in Alpha Delta Phi, Delta Upsilon, Delta Tau Delta, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, and Acacia, with all the same results. They all were complete players. Now, I am not one to rip on the Greek system, I love it to death, and I probably will end up dating more frat boys and eventually marrying one...but man right now, they need to grow up.

[kmullini]

HipChick: Some day you'll meet the right man for you. I can honestly say that I wasnt one of those players in school for what its worth and there are alot of Greek Men out there that aren't. From my experience it kind of went both ways too. Between some Greek Men and some Greek Women being players.

Kevin Mullinix
Beta Theta Pi

[This message has been edited by kmullini (edited June 21, 2000).]

[Siobhan]

Kmullini,

I agree with your comment. Currently I am dating a Sigma Chi, but I have come across some pretty immature fratenity boys. I know a lot of people who say fraternity boys are really players and sleezballs, but there are just as many sleezy GDI's as there are fraternity men.

PS. My cousin is a Beta alum (UBC)

[kmullini]

Siobhan, thats very true too. Not every Greek Man or GDI is the same...I mean I have yet to date a greek girl myself...I had alot of greek friends that I partied with and hung out with that were girls...Most of my brothers had gfs who were either AOpi and Alpha Phi. Some had GDI girlfriends as well and we often hung out with many GDIs at the house too. I guess I was just a quiet guy at parties/bars so I just didnt connect with the other greek girls(in terms of a relationship) on campus like many of my brothers did. I just didnt get into trying to be something I wasnt. so I guess with my luck in school I wont ever marry a Greek girl anyway I guess.

Kevin Mullinix
Beta Theta Pi

P.S. thats cool about your cousin. I saw a link once to their chapter online and it looked pretty cool. It had some cool pictures.

[KreamyNupe]

We greek men are not all bad. What we all fail to realize is that men go bad because of stupid a** women, Women go bad because of stupid a** men. If your greek affiliation shouldn't be a reason for f*cked relationships, its just the people in those relationships.
Keep everything in your life in order,
Because (K.R.E.A.M) K,appa
R,egulates
E,verything
A,round
M,e
Get the Wisdom,
Dollar Bill Y'all!!!!!

[DirectorDST99]

Personally, I don't care about GL or NON GL as long as he's a Christian !!! HELLO!!

But if I had a choice here's the line up and in this order:

Alpha Phi Alpha
Phi Beta Sigma
GDI
Kappa Alpha Psi
Omega Psi Phi


------------------
Director #2
LMAC
Spr 99

[pinkice9]

Personally the man that I was dating was non-greek and then he became a member of a BGLO. The frat in which he pledged made him a more responsible person. He started to perform better on an academic level and our relationship grew tighter as well. I can truly say that greekdom either changes you for the best or the worse, but it definatly changes you. The person you were before you became greek will determine the change.

Little Note.

GOD BLESS!

Pinkice9

[sexysigma007]

Well I am a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority Inc. at Cheyney University and I feel most men are the same whether Greek/Non-Greek. A lot of people down the brothers in Fraternities on this subject all the time. Yes it's true. We have those who get their letters(just like females)and lose their mind. The girls who never gave them a second thought now all of a sudden feel the need to boost up their heads. And then they bring that to women such as myself who won't deal with the crap they feel they have the right to dish out. Some of these brothers let the "groupies" cloud their judgement and fall for that all the time. Then you have the stereo types some bruhs in the frats feel they must emulate. For example, my bruhs the Kappa's who are known for that nasty nupe style of loving and getting all the women or the Omegas known for being the nasty dawgs also getting all the women or the Sexy Sigma's who perform in step shows licking whipped cream off chairs which definitely appeals to the women or the Alpha's who are cute and women gotta have them 06 brothers. In some cases they were like that before the frat in other cases they weren't. But, I tell you what I've been in relationships with GDI's and Greeks. IT DOESN'T MATTER! A man is going to be a man whether he has letters on or not just like a female. It's true you do get more attention when you join an organization. I was getting it before so I don't trip. Everybody isn't like that. But trust 9 times out of 10 if you pay that man no mind and let his groupies surround him he'll come around eventually. You just might change that Greek man. you know men love a challenge whether they are GREEK/NON-GREEK!

[haitinupe]

i dated a gdi(immediately) after i crossed and she just didn't understand the sheer amount of responsibility i had. there just weren't enough hours in the day to study, prepare for a stepshow, and work on our various community service projects while trying to cater to her needs. i don't need to say what i chose, but incidentally, i'm now dating a woman from a mainstream sorority(Alpha Phi) and she's just as busy as i am. so far so good. i guess women in glo's tend to have a better understanding of your responsibilities, cuz they have so many of their own.( this is not a slant against the independent women who work their tails off during school, it's just that greek women are more likely to understand and appreciate the bond us greek men have with our brothers, while gdi's are more likely to write us off as followers or slaves as my ex did. just my opinion, no harm intended)

[bklyndelta]

I had to get into this discussion... . personally I LOVE my GDI'S and wouldn't want it any other way!!!!

Unless, of course????????

[Tom Earp]

while every young male and female are dumb, it seems that while they are Greeks, they learn from experience of the offices and responseability that they have, they all mature. Of course this is not always the case, it is in the majority. All young go to adulthood , it is just some quicker that others. Life does come from training, and the greek Community tends to train their members more than not.

------------------
Tom Earp LX Z#1

[mizzkes]

Hello all, my boyfriend of a year and a half is greek. I must say that this has been one of the longest most fulfilling relationships I have ever been in. Note, that he was already greek when I met him. It was hard at first, I found it hard to trust him. But, as time went on I began to trust him. Dont get me wrong, I dont put anything past anybody, but I trust that when he goes to frat parties,etc he will remember that I am watiing for him when he gets home. I am now seeking membership in a greek organization and he is being very supportive of me. I dont think that a non-greek man would understand allof the time and effort it takes to do this. So I am thankful for that. I really cant compare him to a non-greek becuase who is to say that his membership in this organization has an effect on his behavior? I may meet a mature, dedicated greek today and an immature, cheating greek tomorrow. I would never generalize all members of an organization like that. I must say this, I was greatly surprised about how respectful the members are to me. The organization has a bad reputationf or being womanizers. As a freshman I was warned about these guys. But I have learned that, if you carry yourself like a woman of dignity and respect, they will treat you no other way.

[thetaphi]

hmmm... greek or non-greek... thats a hard question to answer. i have been with my current (greek) boyfriend for 3 years. he is no longer in school, i am. i feel more comfortable with greek guys just because they are the ones i know best. i have also found that non-greeks can have a bad perception of greek life and are uncomfortable with the time commitment. on the other hand, dating a greek guy can be like dating their entire fraternity because they all seem to know EVERYTHING about the relationship!! just don't date a pledge because they will spend more time worrying about what the brothers think, then what you think!! good luck!

[ilias]

Originally posted by TrueGreekLove:
For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

[SapphireSensation]

Hello all,
Personally, there hasn't been a difference for me. I have been fortunate that the non-greek men that I have dated understood that I'm a member of a Sorority. Specifically because, because I belong to the ONLY CONSTITUTIONALLY BOUND BROTHERHOOD & SISTERHOOD--ZETA PHI BETA & PHI BETA SIGMA.
So, of course, My frat is always number one in my heart. But, I have no preference as to whether or not the man that I'm with is affiliated or not, as long has he respects me.
SapphireSensation
Zeta Phi Beta Sigma--One Love...One Dove

[sigchick97]

Hey,
personally, I feel that there is no real difference between greeks and non-greeks. The difference on the guys depends on how greeks are viewed on campus. My campus views greeks as very popular. Therefore, the guys have the attitude as if they are just the best. It just depends on what you like in a person. The letters don't make the person, it's the person that makes the letters.

[trinityspr2k]

Well, let me see if I can sum all of this up quickly....

I think there are advantages and disadvantages to dating either. As far as dating a greek is concerned, the pros are that he might be responsible, mature, etc. On the flip side, he might have become conceited because of his 'elevated' status. A non-greek might be an escape from greekdom, but sometimes might come down very hard on greeks b/c he doesn't understand/like it.

When my boyfriend and I started out, he was greek, and I wasn't. He constantly told me how much he learned and grew as a result of joining his organization. Now that I have joined an illustrious organization myself, I am starting to see for myself what he meant. Additionally, he was encouraging and understanding when I was pledging. Above all, he was patient and knew how much time and effort goes into the whole thing. After all, he was there once. I don't know if a non-greek might have understood so well.

However, one issue I do have to deal with that I don't have to when I date non-greeks is groupies who sort of make greek guys into celebrities.

So, you see, they have their advantages and disadvantages.

[trinityspr2k]

Well, let me see if I can sum all of this up quickly....

I think there are advantages and disadvantages to dating either. As far as dating a greek is concerned, the pros are that he might be responsible, mature, etc. On the flip side, he might have become conceited because of his 'elevated' status. A non-greek might be an escape from greekdom, but sometimes might come down very hard on greeks b/c he doesn't understand/like it.

When my boyfriend and I started out, he was greek, and I wasn't. He constantly told me how much he learned and grew as a result of joining his organization. Now that I have joined an illustrious organization myself, I am starting to see for myself what he meant. Additionally, he was encouraging and understanding when I was pledging. Above all, he was patient and knew how much time and effort goes into the whole thing. After all, he was there once. I don't know if a non-greek might have understood so well.

However, one issue I do have to deal with that I don't have to when I date non-greeks is groupies who sort of make greek guys into celebrities.

So, you see, they have their advantages and disadvantages.

[Sunny]

YES. And not to be trusted. Very romantic, but not realistic.

[CrimsonTail]

This has been an interesting topic and must confer that whether or not a man is greek doesn't change how they are. If they were an a**hole before they became greek then they will continue to be that a**hole after. It all depends on the individual. Change for the better or the worse. Who the hell knows!!!

Crimson Tail


[This message has been edited by CrimsonTail (edited July 15, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by CrimsonTail (edited July 15, 2000).]

[This message has been edited by CrimsonTail (edited July 15, 2000).]

[DELTABRAT]

I will say that it really doesn't matter either way. I agree with Crimson Tail...once an a**hole, always one.
I will say that there is an "understanding" among members of Greek organizations. If I have meetings, it is understood and vice versa. My boyfriend is in a BGLO, he also attended Morehouse College. In the South and East Coast EVERYBODY is in BGLOs. Point Blank.. He lives in Cali now and can't believe he meets people who never pledged and don't seem to be interested. At his high school, they had the fraternity like groups and sororities which "prepared" them for what it "may" be like in college when they pledge. It is sucha a part of life, to be with someone who is not "Greek" is like a mystery. That was one of the first questions he asked me when I met him. I don't think that had anything to do with his decision to date me (a wise one I might add http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif) but it is definitely a topic of discussion for him. Just as "Did you go to college" is for him. He doesn't understand how a college educated woman could date a man who has never been to college. I get on his a** all the time about it, but he is dead serious. There is like a lack of frame of reference if that is not ONE of the connections two people have with one another. Part of me agrees in a sense. I mean his frat brothers ask. "What Sorority are you in." When I sat DST, it's like "Okay, she's all good." Although I am not in his "sister" organization, it's like okay, there is still a "common" bond between us.

Okay, I'm done...I tend to ramble...sorry http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif

That's my $1913.00 worth, not just $19.13.

[SigmaK]

I'm am currently the President of my organization and I am dating the presdient of a fraternity. We were both Greek when we began dating, however not in the offices we currently hold. I have found that he is much more understanding than past guys I have dated in regards to my having to cancel plans etc due to a "crisis" in the chapter.

He is also much more grown-up and resposible than other guys I have dated (nongreeks). He has had to take responsibilites and he takes these seriously.

However the greek community is very similar to a small town. The gossip mill works overtime. Everyone will know the smallest details of your relationship. Everyone will also feel it is their right to know the inner workings of your relationship and if you are haiving relationship problems the entire greek system seems to know about it.

I think in the end it just depends on the person.

[divinerose]

Well, I have been with my guy for 3.5 years and about a year after we were dating, he pledged A-Phi-A. To answer the question, greek or Non-Greek, men are men! My man is wonderful and remained that way after he crossed, but I agree with others, they do sometimes change. The time issue wasn't bad for us because I am involved in a non-NPHC organization and several clubs, so I could respect the time. I must say, being with a Greek is like having an "extended family", like some big brothers to look out for you. This may sound silly, but bonds that are shared between other girlfriends of his brothers are precious and I would not trade it for the world. Matter-of-fact, most of my closet friends are dating Alphas and we entertained one another when our Alpha men are out handling business.

[Sele]

I personally think that when your in college, dating a greek has its pros and cons. And everyone has made some valid points. I have dated the spectrum of Fraternities, however, in college I was partial to the Sigmas. When you approach it in a realistic positive manner, dating Greeks have their advantages.(And this is from my "back in the day" college view point) You get invited to VIP parties, picnics, house parties. Their LB's look out for you (when you need a ride, etc, etc). Everyone knows that on most HBCU's campus, frats are just as popular as the football/basketball teams. If not, more.I guess the cons would be all the girls who are sweatin' the letters or basically tryin to see how far they can get with your man.
However, once your in the real world all that crap goes out the window! It's not about you being on his arm at the party anymore, or going to private parties or getting in joints for free or secretly wearing his T-shirt behind closed doors..(Ya'll feel me.)It's about the MAN. Letters or no letters.There are some really nice guys out there.But we have all been through it when some guys go over and their heads blow up. Women come out the woodworks. All of a sudden those 3 letters and that call erased that yuck mouth smile,that warped shaped head, dirty fingernails, even that raggedy ass ride. LOL.I am funny to me.Anyway, I can see it being harder in college to deal with a greek than in post grad life. And most of the time, once they graduate they calm down drastically. Who gives a damn about letters in real life when your not being responsible and considerate??!! Or take a sister to a real restaurant instead of Chinese buffet. Much love to Phi Beta Sigma.

[Sele]

I personally think that when your in college, dating a greek has its pros and cons. And everyone has made some valid points. I have dated the spectrum of Fraternities, however, in college I was partial to the Sigmas. When you approach it in a realistic positive manner, dating Greeks have their advantages.(And this is from my "back in the day" college view point) You get invited to VIP parties, picnics, house parties. Their LB's look out for you (when you need a ride, etc, etc). Everyone knows that on most HBCU's campus, frats are just as popular as the football/basketball teams. If not, more.I guess the cons would be all the girls who are sweatin' the letters or basically tryin to see how far they can get with your man.
However, once your in the real world all that crap goes out the window! It's not about you being on his arm at the party anymore, or going to private parties or getting in joints for free or secretly wearing his T-shirt behind closed doors..(Ya'll feel me.)It's about the MAN. Letters or no letters.There are some really nice guys out there.But we have all been through it when some guys go over and their heads blow up. Women come out the woodworks. All of a sudden those 3 letters and that call erased that yuck mouth smile,that warped shaped head, dirty fingernails, even that raggedy ass ride. LOL.I am funny to me.Anyway, I can see it being harder in college to deal with a greek than in post grad life. And most of the time, once they graduate they calm down drastically. Who gives a damn about letters in real life when your not being responsible and considerate??!! Or take a sister to a real restaurant instead of Chinese buffet. Much love to Phi Beta Sigma.

[SIUAGD]

Greek or non-Greek? Hmmn. At my school, it's so hard to find a non-greek who won't be an ass because of your letters(we have a very small greek population and a large anti-greek one) but its just as hard, if not more difficult to find a fraternity guy who is worthy of dating. My last boyfriend and I had an understanding: our houses were important to both of us, and we both knew that there might be times where we'd have to put them before each other. The difference between his house and mine is that mine never made me choose between him and them. His did. Needless to say, he's still in that house, and we're not together.
As for dating non-greek men, I'd love to. If I could find a guy that could understand and respect my love for my sorority and the responsibilites which that holds, great! It would be nice, actually to have friends that were just mine. I know that sounds greedy, but our greek system is so small everyone knows everyone. It would be nice to keep my relationship out of everyone's business. However, on their defense, fraternity boys, in general, are more gentlemanly(opening doors, being polite, etc.) And I have lots of good friends who are in fraternities, and they're great guys. However, a lot of them are just little boys who want nothing more than one-night stands. t

[darrel rogers]

If a Greek can say that it doesn't matter whether he/she dates a Greek or Non Greek, then why do they discrimminate against certain Greek organizations. A person may not like another person based soley on the organization he/she is a part of. That is dumb and immature, because after college (during for some) life begins and it doesn't matter which organization you are in. People don't even know whether you are or aren't because you are either dressed for corporate or in uniform working for your profession and actually people who work around you are more than likely not a part of any Greek organization and could care less!

[DELTABRAT]

darrel rogers:

I agree with you in the fact that upon graduation, people are less likely to be concerned with what organization one affiliates with...character of the person is usually held in higher regards than the organization. I do have to disagree however in what you said about people you work with more than likely NOT being in an organization. It all depends on where you work and in which part of the country. I CAN'T remember which thread it was, but the questions came up as to why people in BGLO's always seem to be downing people in GLO's as to the longevity (lifetime vs. college ONLY) of their Greek affiliation. Someone pointed out that while a lot of people in GLOs often state that they were an XYZ in college, people in BGLOs RARELY, if EVER state similar comments. I say this to point out that where I work, which happens to be a community based organization, EVERY person in the office (Black) is affiliated with a BGLO. On top of that, they sport gear on the regular. Maybe not head to toe like a neo, but SOMETHING ususally dons the fraternity/sorority symbols...keychain, picture in the office, license plateframe, ring, class ring, charms on necklaces (elephants, etc.), checkbook...SOMETHING.

Just a note. Not to stir up any previous "mess" from this board, just wanted to make that point...but I do feel your other points http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[DIRTY-BILL CLINTON]

No problem! I was commenting more on corporate and uniformed professions. I work in an Oil and Gas company, many of the people here are in organizations but they are very conservative. That's all. Your point was valid. Originally posted by DELTABRAT:
darrel rogers:

I agree with you in the fact that upon graduation, people are less likely to be concerned with what organization one affiliates with...character of the person is usually held in higher regards than the organization. I do have to disagree however in what you said about people you work with more than likely NOT being in an organization. It all depends on where you work and in which part of the country. I CAN'T remember which thread it was, but the questions came up as to why people in BGLO's always seem to be downing people in GLO's as to the longevity (lifetime vs. college ONLY) of their Greek affiliation. Someone pointed out that while a lot of people in GLOs often state that they were an XYZ in college, people in BGLOs RARELY, if EVER state similar comments. I say this to point out that where I work, which happens to be a community based organization, EVERY person in the office (Black) is affiliated with a BGLO. On top of that, they sport gear on the regular. Maybe not head to toe like a neo, but SOMETHING ususally dons the fraternity/sorority symbols...keychain, picture in the office, license plateframe, ring, class ring, charms on necklaces (elephants, etc.), checkbook...SOMETHING.

Just a note. Not to stir up any previous "mess" from this board, just wanted to make that point...but I do feel your other points http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[angel921]

I think that it depends on the person that you are dating. Greek or Non-greek doen't matter it is all about trust and honesty!

[sigmagrrl]

I personally have found that men in fraternities do understand my love and committment to my sorority, and they can be so sexy! I love a man in a tux at a formal!!LOL !!!! But, I would never rule out dating a non Greek. I would like to marry a fraternity man though, but who knows what fate holds in store!!

[MIDWESTDIVA]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DirectorDST99:
But if I had a choice here's the line up and in this order:

Alpha Phi Alpha
Phi Beta Sigma
GDI
Kappa Alpha Psi
Omega Psi Phi

Ooooooooh! You know you are wrong for that! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif


------------------
We often give our enemies the means for our own destruction.

Aesop c550 BC

[Ghostface-Killah]

Well, the good side of it is that, it feels good to date someone you can talk to about greek life. There are so many deep things to talk about regarding greek life, your process, your sands, mythology, and so on. Most of the non-greeks I have dated do not uderstand the need for road trips, the love you get from and give to greek men, and most important, how much my sorority means to me. I guess the bad side of it is that way too many people know your business (at least in the "greek world"). Greek men do not have any super power and yes, I know many of them can get overwhelmed with the attention some female give them. However, it all goes back to your own judgement when selecting partners; and as with everything else in life, there is good and there is bad. To me my partner would have to be a man first, and then a "greek man"
enough said. Hope it helps.

ONE.

Maria.
GhostFace/Not Limit Soldier
SIGMA GAMMA RHO Sorority, Inc.

[Salience]

First and foremost, I want a man who knows how to treat me correctly. But I won't go into my wish list.

I think it is extremely important that a couple have similar frames of reference in life. I would love to have a husband who's a Master Mason. Will I exclude dating men who aren't? Of course not. It would just be easier to deal with my commitments knowing he has the same commitments and understands completely.

[AlphaChiGirl]

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:
Eh, the only thing I can see it totally impacting is what you do as a couple. I've casually dated some Greek guys, and it seems like all we do is go to frat parties, etc., which I don't mind. So, I guess it has to do with individual comfort levels. I do know people who date ENTIRELY within NPHC groups, which is just hard for me to comprehend.

[joker]

Originally posted by TrueGreekLove:
For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

As a Greek man, let me share a few thoughts.

1. I think men are men, there are all types inside and outside of Greek life.

2. I think it depends somewhat on which Fraternity a man belongs to. There may exist differences between BGLO's and other Fraternities; there may be differences between different BGLO's; and differences on different campuses. At my school, the Kappa's had a reputation for being ladies men who ran through many women. Of course all did not do this, but this was the reputation...it affected who pledged and what the social activities were. IMO.

3. Greek life does provide temptation. On my campus, Greeks held leadership positions. Further, we (Alphas)developed our own female auxilliaries. Not to mention that our frat was closely aligned with AKA's. Anyway, lots of women would approach us with all sorts of distractions. Anyway it becomes a test of character that brothers respond to in many ways. Some resist, some dabble, some completely lose their minds. But I think of it as a personal challenge that individuals respond to in different ways; it's not really a Greek thing.
4. Some brothers are immature, some are just dogs. Again, that's not a Greek thing.

5. The 360 is also a challenge. Some folks pledge with the full intention of doing a 360. Others change due to increased responsibility and dedication to fraternal ideals.

6. It is different when Greeks date Greeks,mostly in terms of they understand a lot about the commitments of Greek life (and I'm talking about BGLO's, I don't know much about how it is with others). Most BGLO's have some commitment to scholarship and community service. Combined with the social activities, they get to be pretty close knit groups. Some are reluctant to share or explain details of their organizational activities to independents.

Still, most folks are not Greek. So I think everyone should try to explore relationships with people they like, and not worry about the Greek thing so much. There are some bad apples, but I don't think that immaturity,360 syndrome, and submission to groupies is a Greek thing.

[MSTISHA]

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi and he has been for the past 6 years. He was a NUPE when I met him and I can't change that nor do I want to. His being a Greek has not changed anything about our relationship. He is saved and I think that plays an important role in the decisions he makes. However, he was saved before he pledged so it didn't really make a difference. I just think it depends on the person. I just got lucky because I didn't have to deal with the whole pledging process and the things they go through. You can e-mail me at TISHA5707@AOL.COM if I can be of anymore help to you.

[sororitychick]

Personally I have had bad experiences dating frat guys,they seem able to commit to one girl.

[Billy Optimist]

I think girls should date greek men. Especially ones going through rush in a couple of weeks http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

[novella000]

Originally posted by CrimsonTail:
[B]This has been an interesting topic and must confer that whether or not a man is greek doesn't change how they are. If they were an a**hole before they became greek then they will continue to be that a**hole after. It all depends on the individual. Change for the better or the worse. Who the hell knows!!!
B]

I feel ya' Crimson... For REAL!!!
The only ones I can't stand are the haters...
GDIs that get a chip on their shoulder anytime someone 'Greek' walks into the room
OR
'Greeks' that disrespect/mistreat people who are not greek for that fact alone (I have only run into a handful of those)...

I once talked to a guy that couldn't stand the fact that I am pursuing membership in a particular Sorority.
Needless to say -- we're no longer friends.
It just depends. People vary -- but like Crimson Tail said -- if they were an a$$hole before Greek life -- they will likely maintain their a$$holishness afterward. I have met all kinds, known them before/after they crossed ...
Some are made stronger (and thus encourage me in my pursuits)... While others remain weak.


[This message has been edited by novella000 (edited January 30, 2001).]

[pixie]

I have dated several fraternity guys from several different fraternities. From my experiences with them I would say that they can be very big players. I'm not saying that all are but a lot of them have a hard time committing while they are in the fraternity atmosphere. I would simply incourage all of you to watch your back b/c they can hide it well. One example of this is...I went over to my guys house to watch a movie with him and some of his brothers. About half way through the movie this girl walks in and sits on the other side of my guy. I didn't know at the time but she was his other girl. Luckily one of his brothers was nice enough to tell me the next day. I don't think the other girl ever found out b/c they are still dating and he is probably cheating on her with some other girl now. So basically what I'm saying is just make sure you can trust them before you get in a really serious relationship!

[SilverBlueAngel]

I've dated a few non-Greeks and a few Greeks. I go to a small college so the dating scene isn't very good. The frat boys tend to be the best looking (although not always the best dating material). I'm currently engaged to my Beta boy and have found everything I'm looking for in this Greek god! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif

[KDladyECU]

I really don't like to date greek men. I have several reasons for why I do and why I don't. First, most of them don't have time for you and pay more attention to their social life than you. However, they are good guys b/c they really know what it's like to be greek and how much work it can be sometimes. But, it really isn't my preferance to date Frat boys unless they are really good guys!

[Miami1839]

Silverblueangel,

Thats awesome http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Kevin

[bearcat9181]

I would have to say there is a difference in dating a greek man as opposed to dating a non-greek man. Someone who is greek along with you will understand the commitments and responsibilities of being greek. I've found that non-greek men have the typical stereotype of greek life in their heads and it takes a lot of talking and explaining to help them understand why you're greek. While dating someone who is greek might be a little easier because they can understand your commitments I have found that they tend to party more and will have less time because they also have commitments. Either way you should find the guy that's right for you greek or not greek, it doesn't matter.

[amycat412]

I've dated both Greek and Non-Greek while I was in college AND after college.

My first impression is to say it doesn't matter. And, truly, when it comes to the challenges you face in a relationship, it doesn't.

However, someone who is greek will understand your commitments while in college, and someone who is greek will understand your commitments out of college. Someone who is greek will have had a similar college experience, and sometimes that can be invaluable in getting to know one another--you have a common ground to jump off of.




------------------
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

[squirrly]

I am greek, and was dating a non-greek for several monthes before I pledged. We dated for two and a half years after I pledged, too. Although we never had any problems b/c I was Greek and he was independant, he also never really understood why my sorority is so important to me. . . he just couldn't comprehend it. He claims to be in awe of my attachment to greek life, and plans to transfer to my university and rush a fraternity in the fall.

I am now dating a greek guy from my university, and it is definitely different. He understands that my sorority is a priority for me, and he never bugs me about all the time I put into it. . . I know a lot of the other women in my chapter agree that for those of us who are really involved, dating a guy who is really involved in his fraternity is nice, because although you don't share your letters or your ritual, etc. you do share the fact that you have them, etc. Similar interests & values. . . etc.

[ULChiOCutie]

I have been dating a Phi Tau for over a year now, and he has had no problem with commitment. Yes, we have broken up several times, but that was his idea. I think that if you are greek, and your mate, they understand how busy you are, because they aree just as busy as you! But, other than that, I love my boyfriend dearly! I AM STILL WAITING FOR THAT LAVALIRE THOUGH!!! LOL!

------------------
Loyaly in our bond,
ULChiOCutie
Check out UofLouisville's Chi Omega Website!
http://chio.webprovider.com

[BabyziIIa]

This is a cute idea for a topic. I'll put in my 2 cents. I am non greek that dated and married a frat guy. I used to be very anti frat. I dated a couple of frat guys that where incredibly immature. They seemed to think that because they were in a fraternity they were now elevated to some sort of status meaning I should be honored to date them. I don't think so. Then, I met this adorable guy at a party and dated him for a week or two beforing finding out that he was "greek." Hmmm. We decided to not date exclusively. That lasted from maybe an hour and his first letter asked me to be his girlfriend. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif We continued to have a long distance relationship resulting in a lavaliere then a ring. Now we have been married for almost 7 years and have two adorable kids.

His status as a "frat boy" had some effect on what I thought of him. It made me a bit wary. It also frustrated me that the frat was such a priority. There were many weekends that I would have loved to have had him home that he had a responsibilty to stay at the house. Specifially thinking of greek games, I got back by telling friends that he wasn't in town because he was busy wearing a dress. Part of the event was a Ms. (fill in the fraternity) contest. My love was representing his house. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif The photos will make great stories for our children some day and he drove up to visit the very next weekend. On the other hand, I loved wearing his sweatshirts and attending formals. I still love the bond that is there between the brothers and really truly feel that I have over 70 brothers-in-law.

To sum up? Yes, there are some stumbling blocks that go along with dating as non greek and greek. Not insurmountable tho. If he really really loves you, you will come first in his heart. You need to make room for the friends tho. You need to let him spend time with friends and try to understand that this is something important to him. If you can appreciate the committment he's made, who knows, maybe you will find some new friends and even change your opinion of fraternities. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[33girl]

The nice thing about dating a Greek man is that he understands your commitment to your sorority and won't have a cow when you tell him you can't see him for a weekend because of a sister retreat.

The bad thing is that he probably does have more access to women than the average Joe College...but this largely depends on the campus. Heaven knows a guy doesn't have to be Greek to be a total horndog! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

Making ANY relationship work in college is hard, no matter your affiliation or lack of same!

[DopeZeta]

I would prefer to date a guy that was in a Greek Org but that doesn't mean that I will pass up a GDI. With Greekz, you can bypass a lot of worriez that you might have with GDI'z..like: Are they interested in the community, do they/have they attend(ed) college, etc.

But, a man is a man. So, it's not like I am saying that I will date a Greek b/c he is more stable/faithful. I would date one because we would have things in common to start off with...That's alwayz a good thing.

------------------
Sweeter than sugar and as good to you as milk
DEM ZETAS are Finer Women and they smooth as silk.

[dzjen27]

I think I have a bit of an odd experience. I dated a guy who dropped his fraternity the day before initiation. I didn't start dating him until two years after the fact, but the odd part was that the brother who made a comment that fixed his decision to drop is dating my big sister. It was awkward at first, but they both got over it. The only real fights we had about me being Greek was that I was so busy with rush practice this fall that I didn't see him for three days, and we both lived on campus!

My experience with dating Greek guys hasn't been that positive, but that's just about guys in general I knew freshman year who pledged and seem to have gone downhill since then. But then there's Greek guys who are great. I think it depends on the person, not if they're Greek or not.

Jen

[DGPhoney]

Hey all , this is truly a great topic, me myself, as being greek, I tend to steer clear of my greek brothers. Now don't get me wrong, I love all of my greek brothers from SAE to Phi Beta Sigma, cause it's all about unity. But when it comes to dating, I'll have to pass, some one in this thread earlier that some male greeks act a bit immature. And I totally understand the meetings and activities, and etc, cause we all have that, but greek guys can be a total trip sometimes. I still luv ya'll though, so maybe I just don't know the right greeks, but I try not to date greeks http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif
One and Much Love to All

[CodeBlue_R3]

To me I wouldn't say they are all immature I have found some who are very focused as far as GL or NGL I'd have to go with NGL. But letters don't make a person. If I was to go GL I'd have to go with:

There would usually be a tie between Kappas and Omegas but Kappas are winning right now for various reasons, aint that right boo. lol. Anyway then I'd have to say PBS cause the unknown Sigma known as Mandingo "boy you are tooooooooooooooooooooooooo sexy, ya heard" Has anyone else peeped him out? If not I say be at the next step show the unknowns of Florida are in. But anyway I have my Virgin Island warrior to think about.

[Intensify]

It is so difficult being a non-greek woman dating a greek man. You have to compete with the women, their frats,and their lifetime commitment the their fraternity. I have dated a member of Alpha Phi Alpha and am currently dating a member of Omega Psi Phi. Everything was fine with the first boyfriend, at first. It became a problem when I could barely get in touch with him and when I'd call him on it all he'd have to say was that I got some Alpha business to attend to or my frat needs me. I understood his commitment, but, what about me? I understood that he was an Alpha before me and he will be an Alpha after me. But, it became ridiculous. He even had the audacity to tell me that when he went to their convention, some of their "sweethearts" offered themselves to him. He says that the only reason he declined was because me and him were together. The bottom line is that his priorities were messed up. If he needed anything within reason and I could help, like the good woman that I am, I helped my man out. His frats were not there when he really needed them, I was. Now, this new relationship is a completely different story. My current man is a Que. They are predispositioned to be wild, crazy, sexual, the bad-boy type and most women love it. He's a neophyte and he's on another campus in the same city that I'm in, so, it was a lot to swallow. He's pretty mature, but, still, we'll have to see what's going to happen. It's only been about 4 months, so, it's hard to tell.

------------------
Be true to yourself and the rest will fall into place......

[This message has been edited by Intensify (edited April 24, 2001).]

[TigerGrrrl]

hmmm...what an intriguing topic. I have actually never date anyone that WASNT greek. Granted I am only a freshman so I have time, but i have dated probably 8 different guys from various fraternities this year. Two of them more seriously, but I have basically come to the conclusion that it is more fun to stay single. Keep ur options open is my opinion. And at one time or another all guys will show u their true nature...(WOOf WOOf-DOGS!) hehe

[ILuvaPhiKap]

BabyziIIa--AMEN!

I, too, am non-greek (formerly anti-greek)... dating a greek man. I actually met him on the internet and when I found out he was greek, I was wary, but thought he was fun to talk to (didn't know many greek guys well in person, afterall). I then found out that he went to high school with a friend of mine, so I took him more seriously (it's easy to not take 'net acquaintances as seriously as real ppl sometimes, i think). we ended up becoming friends and on the verge of more-than-friends, so then we met in person and hit it off.

I have to admit to being nervous about the fraternity thing--it's a different lifestyle than one I was used to being around, but the guys really grew on me and instead of despising stereotypical greek immaturity, I started thinking of them as "adorably crude," if that's at all possible *lol* They aren't bad guys at all, but there are some antics that I have to laugh at or I'll get irritated about them (I won't go into detail here *L*)

But I should really clarify that I totally LOVE my greek guy--he is the sweetest most loyal guy I have ever met and after toughing out the long distance relationship for over a year, we're now engaged.

It really helps just to remember that guys will be guys will be guys and that they all have groups they associate with, whether they are marked by greek letters or not. I think fraternities do instill some important values in the long run, even though they take a lot of crap from surface reputation.

I don't know that I have any greek vs. non-greek stories, but I will say that it is sort of neat how greek guys are a PART of something, and sometimes non-greeks aren't. so for anybody, when you date the greeks, you have to deal with the rest of the guys in some way or another--thus making YOU a part of it, too. (I have always joked about how I haven't pledged a sorority b/c I like the guys more than I like girls *L*)

Oh well... there was my little (or long!) story http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[gammazetagrl]

I guess there are both pros and cons in dating a Greek man. (I cannot say about GDI's, although I am friends with a lot of them, I've never been involved with one). Like most of you guys already said, they understand the commitment you have to your organization:time constraints (like those chapter meetings that can take FOREVER),financial issues, responsibilities, etc. You guys are on the same boat when you're talking, like if you guys talk about some aspects of your pledge semester you can see where one another is coming from...and of course, you guys never run out of formals,semi formals, etc to go to (and i love dressing up.Anyway, the negative aspect in my experience with my boyfriend who is a Sammy (in a different university) is that we just have to trust each other when we have our own separate mixers or functions to go to. We cannot be there to watch each other but thank god we love and trust each other enough not to do anything despite all the "temptation". I would say that a Greek long distance romance could be slightly different than a typical long distance romance coz there are more "complications" like groupies, etc. But i think in terms of the guy's character, it's really up to the guy, coz I've had experiences with other fratboys who were just plain immature, just want some ass, and they were just dogs, i was so ready to give up on greek men...thankfully my bf came along and convinced me that not all greek guys are like that! =)

[SigKap]

well i am sure no one will read this because my reply is way here at the bottom...sniff sniff sadness. but dating greek men. the only differance i can see is that if you are serious with your greek stud of choice then his whole frat kinda adopts you. meaning that they see you as a little sister and you tend to be at his frat house a lot more than you normaly would. my boyfriend is a sigma nu and whenever they have parties and get togethers i am always over there. it's kinda nice though because when they have big philanthropy events i know everyone! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif all guys are the same though...immature and weird

[KillarneyRose]

One thing that I remember from college, at least at my school, was that if you dated one guy from a certain fraternity you couldn't date another guy from the same fraternity even after you broke up with the first one. Girls who did this were considered to be "(Insert name of fraternity here) pass-arounds". Now that I look back at this, it is pretty weird but at the time it made sense I guess.

------------------
~@~Tracy~@~
Proud to be a Delta-Z :)

[shida25]

Well, I have dated a Alpha Phi Alpha and he was no different than the non greek men I have dated. I am not in a sorority yet but by the grace of god I will be come spring 2002. I prefer my boyfriend I have now, who is a non greek. It really does not matter.

[FlorDeMayo]

I think dating greek men is different in some way because they undertand the hard work and the meaning of sisterhood and brotherhood a little bit more. I wish at my campus we had more fraternities because I would love to find me an Awesome Greek Man
:-D Hey if ya know where to find a good one in GA let me know O:-)
ZL
Flor De Mayo

[FlorDeMayo]

I think dating greek men is different in some way because they undertand the hard work and the meaning of sisterhood and brotherhood a little bit more. I wish at my campus we had more fraternities because I would love to find me an Awesome Greek Man
:-D Hey if ya know where to find a good one in GA let me know O:-)
ZL
Flor De Mayo

[AlphaChiGirl]

Okay...here's a scenario. One of my really good friends is dating someone in a fraternity. She complained about how she couldn't know the secrets. She felt as if the existence of those secrets put the fraternity in a higher position than their 2-month relationship, since they "tell eachother everything".
I tried to explain it to her that he was a brother before she came into his life, he'll be a brother after her. She got a little mad at me, saying that I was saying this from a Greek viewpoint. Well, duh! I am especially impatient because I'm currently dating a GDI (of a year and so) who DOES NOT CARE about my ritual...meaning he's not trying to know about it...he has enough respect for it not to inquire. I guess it comes down to maturity and one's sense of security in the relationship.

My question is...have any of you who dated independent had problems with a significant other who wanted to know your ritual, pledging activities, or whatnot? I know I would not be having that go on for more than a day in my relationships. But, that's just me.

------------------
"Don't tell me I've been wrong...don't tell me all the magic's gone."--Liz Phair

[DeltaGirly]

Originally posted by SigKap:
well i am sure no one will read this because my reply is way here at the bottom...sniff sniff sadness. but dating greek men. the only differance i can see is that if you are serious with your greek stud of choice then his whole frat kinda adopts you. meaning that they see you as a little sister and you tend to be at his frat house a lot more than you normaly would. my boyfriend is a sigma nu and whenever they have parties and get togethers i am always over there. it's kinda nice though because when they have big philanthropy events i know everyone! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif all guys are the same though...immature and weird

SigKap
I totally agree with you! My boyfriend is Sigma Nu also, and his whole house has definitely sort of adopted me. I think it's great because you get to actually know all of your boy's brothers. And as for dating Greek over Non-Greek, I think Greek is better just because they seem to be better at dealing with the time a sorority takes up and they seem to respect rituals a bit more. Not all GDI's have a problem, but from my experiences, my Greek guy is much better with all of it!

[dchi_pride]

WOW-Great issue. Sorry if this is a sorority only forumn, but I got to put my two cents in. I'm a Delta Chi at Western Michigan University and I feel that there are not as many good girls in the greek scene as I anticipated when I rushed. I'm 25 now (I had to transfer and lost a lot of credits in the process) and I'm a senior. At my age, I am just looking for a nice woman to settle down with, not marry at this time, but to be faithful with and try to make things mature. My cousin was a Delta Zeta here in the mid 80s and met here husband through Delta Chi, kind of a cinderalla story when they tell it. It seems hard at times to believe that we exist. I have been burned by my share of women in the past, but dont's give up! There are greek guys that feel the same. I wish all you girs the best of luck!

-Much love to the greek sisters,
-dchi_pride

[Carrieboberry]

I admit it, I'm in love with my Greek man. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gifHe is the best, and I think that his experiences at his fraternity have made him into a TRUE GENTLEMAN. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif He's amazing and so thoughtful, and he understands why sisterhood is so important to me! I don't believe that non-greeks CANNOT understand, I mean...we were all non-greek at one point in our lives too! Maybe it's just coincidence/bad luck, but most of the non-greeks I dated were B*$@holes and did not treat me like the goddess I am. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif But I believe that particularly in college, the more you have in common with someone, especially if your fratnernity/sorority is as important to you as it is to me...it helps to have someone who understands that inner circle. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

[dzrose93]

I've dated both Greek and non-Greek men. I don't think the level of immaturity is any greater in one than the other. I can say that I definitely had more trouble with my non-Greek guys. They resented the time I spent with my sisters and one even tried to forbid me to go to socials with fraternities! When I ran for President, he got really angry because he didn't want the sorority to monopolize my time.

My non-Greek boyfriends just didn't understand the point of Greek organizations having never been in one themselves, and they couldn't see why I took everything so seriously. Looking back, I can see why they felt the way they did, but it still doesn't excuse it.

Dating Greek men, I know that I have a common bond with them and that they understand the importance of sorority obligations. None of the Greek guys I've dated have ever batted an eye when I had to cut a date short because of a philanthropy event early the next morning, or cancel a date when a sister needed me. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[PrincessELG]

Hello Sorors,

I just wanted to comment on this topic now that it has come to the top again. I am a true blue, or should I say red, fan of those oh so sexy noble men of Kappa Alpha Psi. I mean I love my Alpha brothers but there is something about them Nupes that make we want to keep coming back. I enjoy dating them and I enjoy their friendship. And maybe one day I'll be blessed to marry one. I know the letters don't make the man but their choice in letters certainly sways my vote.

Princess

[gammazetagrl]

oh well I dunno if i should post a new topic for this but yeah, the greek man (Sammy) that i mentioned in my previous post in this topic? well we broke up *sob*.rather, he broke up with me. it only seemed like it was yesterday he got down on one knee and sang the Sammys sweetheart song, and I think I was hoping that this was all only a bad dream but it's reality...he felt that the feelings weren't mutual anymore and that his feelings for me weren't as strong as mine for him now. i mean, i dated other guys but this greek guy has been the first and only guy i had an actual relationship with and although rightnow I am totally lost and lonely, (like a part of me died)all i can say is it was a beautiful six months and not once did we get to an argument and like you fellow greek women's men, understood my obligations to my organization. im just glad that in many ways he has been a part of my life and was able to touch it unlike other guys. no one can take away the memories we've had, from the formals to parties, to phone calls and even just holding hands while driving around. well, he made it clear he wanted to still remain friends so i guess that's good *tries to smile*...although i know he's always been a great and nice guy, i know his fraternity has a big role in shaping the mature and caring man he is now. He will always be my friend and vice versa, and Im glad we're still gonna be a part of each other's lives. I could only thank him for everything that we shared not only in the during the relationship but our friendship beforehand. Right now fellow Greek sisters I'm just in mourning and crying out of loneliness, emptiness and pain. If any of you guys have any advice on how to get over breakups, please email me at princess_chunli@hotmail.com. I would really appreciate it how you guys were able to move on...coz right now im just having a hard time dealing with it, even though i know it could be worse (at least he still wants to be friends)this guy is my first love and first boyfriend and so i have no previous experience with heartbreak....

p.s. one thing im afraid of though...is the fact that since he's not mine anymore and when he comes back to school he'd be going to mixers and stuff, meet new people, and ill be doing the same thing, and i might even be jealous of the girls that he meets..coz i don't think im gonna be social in parties for awhile when i get back to school.

If you guys can really email me it would help a lot. thanks for reading my long post.

[James]

Gammazetagrl,

That is a VERY mature reaction to a break-up . . . I take my hat off to you.

[lvandenb]

cheer up girl! I'm sure things will get better! I've personally never had a boyfriend, which I stress over, even though my friends say that I'm lucky because I've never had to deal with a breakup or cheating boyfriends, etc., but as silly as it sounds, I've always wanted to date a greek man. I just want the total fantasy story, like the ones on TLC. I know that some of you must watch the wedding story on TLC. Anyway, I want to get lavaliered, have the candlelight ceremony with my sisters, pinned, the whole she-bang! A lot of my sisters laugh at me when I go on about this, but I just think it would be so cool to one day marry a greek man, and we'd have our greek stuff hanging in our den in our house, and our kids would be legacies...oh...the perfect story. Hehehe. Oh, by the way, what is a Sammy? I'm assuming it's sigma alpha something.

[KillarneyRose]

A Sammy is a member of Sigma Alpha Mu Fraternity.

------------------
@~Tracy~@
Proud to be Delta-Z

By the light of the lamp, by the light of the lamp, by the bright shiny light, by the light of the lamp...if you are a DeeZee, you're the best that you can be, by the bright shiny light of the lamp!

[gammazetagrl]

you guys, it's me again, the dumpee =(. uh, should i give his stuff back? im not only talking about gifts but i have a couple of his Sammy shirts and even a hat. I guess I should keep the presents but I think he would need his Sammy stuff (even if he has more than enough)back wouldn't he?...Ugh it hurts me to think that a new girl down the road would be having this stuff that used to be for me, but if returning it to him is the way to do it, then I would...anyway, I don't want him to give back the gifts i gave him (heh, what would i do with abercrombie for men cologne?)or even my greek stuff that he has. Well he hasn't asked for anything back yet but I dunno if I should take the initiative to do so, or just plain keep them. What do you guys think?...and what about his lavaliere (which has become a permanent fixture on my throat) should i give it back too? Sorry if I have too many questions...

James and to everyone else,thanks for your reply =) it made me feel lil bit better. I just try to see the positive things because inside im a mess and im doing everything to make everything brighter for me, even though it's real hard.

[gammazetagrl]

I see your point with your reply, 33girl. to everyone, thanks again. i was able to talk to him today and i feel much better (though still a lil lonely) and we promised to still be there for each other as friends. i don't wanna end up changing the topic of this forum so i posted a new topic Getting over breakups and if anyone could give me feedback, id really appreciate it because i need all the advice i can get right now.

[PinkStar17]

I have been through many greek relationships.. and they all confuse the living crap out of me!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh
ok now that i let that out.. let me explain.. greek men in my opnion are afraid of commitment!
they cant stand being tied down to one greek girl, when there are all those other "groupies" from other organiztions..

my first greek boyfreind was when i was rushing.. i didnt fully understand why he was taking so much time to do this or that..and eventually i broke up with him because he didnt have enough time for me.. well we decided to be freinds.. but when i was finally a pledge he IGNORED MY EXISTENCE! he told all my sisters that he didnt know who i was.. and why some "pycho pledge" was in love with him.. the jerk.. ok well then i went to my first mixer (Pi Kappa Phi) http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif and i met my current "dating person" (hes not my boyfreind but close enough dont know what to call him!) anwyays he is the sweetest and best guy ive ever met.. he truly is a "southern gentleman" we have talked and dated for 6months.. and at first i thought he was annoying cause he called so much.. but eventually we got to getting to know each other.. and now im completely anamored!
he is great.. he helped me learn my creed, knows all my chants and songs.. makes me feel special all the time.. he says im the most importnat girl in his life.. even though he is dating other girls.....
my problem is i dont deal with sharing very well.. and i want him to commit.. but he wont yet http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/frown.gif i know that when he does it will be wonderful.. but i know he just doesnt want to commit because he is a young "frat guy" ahhhh it sucks.. he tells me everything though.. and even feels guilty when he hangs out with other girls..

i just dont know what to do.. i really want to be his.. and only his.. and him to be only mine! but this whole greek thing i think is making it take a lil longer than hoped for!

why do greek guys not want commitment???? that is like a bad word to them..
i dont get it.. they all confuse the living crap out of me!

sorry this is so long.. i needed to vent http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif



------------------
Love, Honor, Truth

[33girl]

Yes I would definitely give his stuff all back to him. The more you keep it around and see it the harder it will be to get over it. Plus even if he wouldn't care if you had it some of his brothers might. Just box it all up and take it over to him. If he has Greek stuff of yours (other than stuff like formal favors, etc) I would ask for that back also, for the same reason.

Look at it this way, even if some other chick does end up wearing his stuff, YOU wore it first. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

[gammazetagrl]

Hi girl...im trying to bounce back from a breakup and so far everything is looking up..

about your deal with not sharing..i understand your point..after all this guy has u completely enamored, and called you the most important girl in his life. but u guys dont claim each other as bf/gf. i know about "commitment-phobic fratboys" *sigh* but since you feel so comfortable with him in the six months seeing each other, then u could think of sitting him down in a conversation and tell him how u felt, know what i mean? tell him it bothers u seeing him with other girls yet he tells u how much he likes u and all that stuff. so it's like, hey what's up with us? =) i dont know, that's just what i think...=) email me at princess_chunli@hotmail.com if u wanna talk or something.

[BS-Faceoff]

Well...well...WELLLLLLLLLLLL..... i believe that it truly depends on the guy!!! Currently i am dating someone who is a member of Phi Beta Sigma and he just recently crossed this year. I must say that he is the best thing that has happened to me. Even as a NEO he is NOT immature and he is very understanding. He does not disrespect me and we have a great understanding of where we are in our relationship. Dating a non-greek was very difficult because he could not understand the obligation and commitment that I had to my organization and sorors!! But my new honey does and things are going great...so my advice is don't give up on ALL greek men yet...there are still some good ones left...i know because i got the best one!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEE-Yip!!

[sbstacy]

hey everyone...i read this topic and had to reply...my boyfriend last semester was a greek, and i am a non-greek. I personally had no problems with the situation at all, in fact, i loved it! All of his brothers kind of "adopted" me and it was great to have all these guys kind of looking out for me. While we have broken up since, i know that i will always be welcome at the house and always will be friends with the guys. I'd also love to have my next relationship be with a greek as well http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[ThetaKAT_21]

I just wanted to say that I have dated a greek guy for over two years now and I think that it has been easy on our relationship. We had things in common to talk about with both of us being in a greek organization. It was also nice when we needed to talk about things going on in our houses. We both have experienced it so it is nice to have someone to listen who understands the stress of being in a greek org. sometimes.

On another note. When I started college i was dating someone else who ended up pledging a fraternity. He definitely changed because of his house into someone I did not like at all. When I met my bf now he was already in a fraternity. He is very proud of his fraternity but it never made him anything bur very nice to me. His brothers are all the same way toward girls too. The ex bf on the other hand pledged a house that is very disrespectful of girls and looks at each girl that walks in the front door as a piece of meat. I am so glad I realized all of this early so that I could find a real man in my bf now. I love him and all of his fraternity brothers.

[Muffy Sorority Girl]

Originally posted by TrueGreekLove:
For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

He did a complete 360, huh? Take a moment to think about what you are saying.

[ees125]

I have dated both, and I agree with many of the other posts, whether the guy is Greek or not, has no bearing on what kind of guy he is. However, every GDI I have dated has had a hard time understanding my committment, why I did it in the first place, how I feel, etc...None have been unsupportive, but it is really frustrating to not have them understand my feeling for my sorority.

[lilnongreek]

hey all,
i'm a non greek myself and interested in a kappa...now i really wasn't aware of much of their reputation until my friend told me quite a bit...i have to say, i'm a little critical of how well this could actually work b/c although he's been a perfect gentlemen, i've heard quite a bit of stories.

i guess i'll just have to wait and see if it all blows up or not. oh well.

[BlackApplePie]

I'm a non-greek that dated an Alpha who was wonderful, but it was difficult at times. We had to keep our relationship discreet in the beginning because so many people were in our business and couldn't understand why he wasn't dating someone who was greek also. He spent an obscene amount of time with his bruhs and his sands so that was hard too, but everything worked out for us. One of my friends dated a greek and she had MANY problems with his new-found campus fame and all of the girls. I would advise people not to have a serious relationship with a Neo unless they are very mature and can handle all of the new problems that will arise.

[This message has been edited by BlackApplePie (edited June 03, 2001).]

[Tara Archer]

I have dated Greek and non Greek men. Most guys in college are not into commitement...( if I may make such a statement, sorry to all you nice guys out there http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif including my boyfriend hehe ) but I have found that Greek men seem to want commitment even less. Please disagree with me, I would acually like to be wrong.

[gammazetagrl]

Well I would disagree with you, I mean, there are also a lot of GDIs that do not like commitment. People may not like to commit for different reasons--school,school involvement,work,finances (yeah I've heard of guys who "cant afford" to have a girl)and maybe they have their own personal problems they want to deal with first. Being Greek already takes up a lot of a person's time to start with and it is up for the people in the relationship to make it work--because if you guys really want to put time aside and do anything to make it work and be used to making adjustments or compromises for each other's schedules, it will.

Trying to bounce back from a breakup, I think it will do me a world of good to be by myself for awhile, it will help me figure out what i really want--get back with him or just be content to be friends, or do i even want a guy in the first place at the moment. it will also help me catch up on stuff that I haven't done in awhile, or at least done less. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif Although if heaven permits and I find myself with a new guy next semester, it would great if he would be Greek again--I just had the greatest time attending formals and stuff, plus he understands the commitment a GLO requires, the interesting traditions (ex. sweetheart songs) and of course, there's the great Greek love present...that also binds us all in the GC network!

------------------
"To supress our feelings only makes them stronger"--from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

[s_leigh20]

From my experience I have found that Greek men and non-Greek men can both me mature and immature. It all depends on they way they are. I have dated both a greek and non-greek and found both to be nice guys. My boyfried now is Greek and he is wonderful!! He isn't wonderful because he is Greek, he is wonderful because of who he is!
As for the Greek dating a non-Greek thing. It can work. The non-Greek just has to learn that there will be committments that the Greek has to make. I didn't understand this compleatly until I became Greek myself.
As for the special 'perks' you get from a chapter when you get engaged or lavaliered...don't not set your sights out to date a Greek guy just for the notoriety of it. Find a guy who makes you happy http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

s_leigh 20
G-Phi-B

[s_leigh20]

This is in reply to all of the women who have had bad experiences with Greek Men.
Just because you don't care for them done not mean that you should state the name of the orginiation that they are from and say how horrible the chapter is. That my friends, is just rude and very childish. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

[s_leigh20]

This is in reply to all of the women who have had bad experiences with Greek Men.
Just because you don't care for them done not mean that you should state the name of the orginiation that they are from and say how horrible the chapter is. That my friends, is just rude and very childish. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/mad.gif

[Demon Knight]

I have to agree with s_leigh20 about date who makes you happy. As from my point of view I believe neophyte of any organization tends to be more wild or relationship challenged. Its like when you first come to college, for most people the first semester is party enjoy being away from home and have fun, and as you stay in the system you start to realize you can play but you also have to work. In a Fraternity or Sorority, the neophytes have there fun when they first get initiated and then instead of always having fun, they start to have to plan and organize before they can have fun. So in all fairness I believe as far as greeks go, the neophytes have more of a commitment problem then Senior members, because they are always on the run partying and seeing what they can get themselves into. Just my $.02

[Miami1839]

I know where referring to men in this topic but I'd like to speak about my experience with greek women as well. I think it can go both ways for both greek men/greek women. I think many people here have hit the nail on the head that those that are greek are a step ahead in the beginning. You both have common ground and understanding of each others commitments. I will say on behalf of the "nice" greek guys that we do often times get lost in the shuffle *L* Often times we're judged with our brothers from what our fraternities reputation is. Not that I agree with it but thats just the way it is. I myself never had a "steady" relationship with a greek girl. I guess as James coined the term I was a cuddy buddy to many and party buddy too. I will say some of my best girl "friendships" have been with greek women. At least those worth mentioning. For me, college was just a time to have fun and bond with my Brothers.

Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alumnus
Epsilon Mu
Sigma Class Spring '94
George Mason '97

[Tara Archer]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by lilnongreek:
[B]hey all,
i'm a non greek myself and interested in a kappa...now i really wasn't aware of much of their reputation until my friend told me quite a bit...i have to say, i'm a little critical of how well this could actually work b/c although he's been a perfect gentlemen, i've heard quite a bit of stories.

i guess i'll just have to wait and see if it all blows up or not. oh well.

where do u go to school bc that sounds alot like out Kappa chapter...

[Tara Archer]

The non-Greek just has to learn that there will be committments that the Greek has to make.

This has been the major problems I have had when dating a non greek. You get questions like "why would u let people treat u that way?" " Isn't that buying your friends?" and many other lovely questions.

However, these questions have also been asked by many of my non greek friends...

all you need to realize is that this doesn't matter, nobody could understand all the wonderful things about being greek unless they acually were....lets just keep it our secret...hehe....just kidding http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif


Trust, respect and unity - Nu Sigma Chi

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[LeslieAGD]

Here's my two cents...

Pros of dating a Greek Guy:
- he understands your committment to your sorority
- great way to get to know his brothers/make new friends

Cons of dating a Greek Guy:
- chance of a fraternity "groupie" trying to break up your relationship (HAPPENS A LOT!!!)
- more committed to his brothers/stereotypical greek lifestyle than to you

[Taytum2027]

Wow that is an awesome topic...I have found that it is better to date a greek man then just a normal guy, but then again I guess that all depends on who it is. This year I joined Alpha Gamma Delta at EMU and ended up hanging out with the Phi Sigs there and that is where I met my current boyfriend. He's the best guy I've ever met and I couldn't be happier. Not to say though that being Greek has anything to do with it. I feel that part of who he is though has to do with his brothers.

[piphigirl]

Originally posted by Tara Archer:
I have dated Greek and non Greek men. Most guys in college are not into commitement...( if I may make such a statement, sorry to all you nice guys out there http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif including my boyfriend hehe ) but I have found that Greek men seem to want commitment even less. Please disagree with me, I would acually like to be wrong.

I will disagree with you. My boyfriend is an SAE and there are many men in the house that have had serious girlfriends for many years. My boyfriend and I met my freshman year and have been dating for about 2 years now. I think people think that fraternity men don't like commitment more than other men because of the stereotype which makes people want to notice it more. Personally, I know of more Greek men with serious girlfriends than I do non-Greek men.

[piphigirl]

Originally posted by SigKap:
well i am sure no one will read this because my reply is way here at the bottom...sniff sniff sadness. but dating greek men. the only differance i can see is that if you are serious with your greek stud of choice then his whole frat kinda adopts you. meaning that they see you as a little sister and you tend to be at his frat house a lot more than you normaly would. my boyfriend is a sigma nu and whenever they have parties and get togethers i am always over there. it's kinda nice though because when they have big philanthropy events i know everyone! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif all guys are the same though...immature and weird

I agree with you 100%! I think it is so nice to be able to go over to my boyfriend's house (even when he's not there) and have all of those guys there for you because they know thier brother loves you. My boyfriend is and SAE and they used to have "Little Sisters of Minerva" which is basically where my chapter came from. The guys and I all joke that I should be a Little Sister of Minerva because I am basically a part of their fraternity (w/o knowing all the secrets http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

[RoaringLionA/CY2K]

I think it works both ways...it is such an advantage to date a greek boy because they understand what it means to be in such an association and respect the obligations that come with the privlage. But at the same time dating a non greek guy allow for you to have a circle of friends to escape to that he does not know...Not to imply that greeks dont have non-greek friends, but being greek is like an "upper class society" (by that I mean very involved, busy and responsble)But a man is a man.....no matter what!!!!
Zeta Omega love
<>ashley<>

[RACH_DG]

When I first started dating my boyfriend, who just recently became my fiance', he was a non-greek, however, not long after we got together he decided to join a fraternity. Before he joined he never really gave me too much greif about my being in a sorority except that he didn't understand all the secretive stuff. He always used to say it was so stupid cause I couldn't tell him stuff about initiation and ceremony's and stuff like that. However when he finally did join theta chi he appologized for giving me such a hard time because he finally understood. I think maybe the only difference between greek men and non-greek men is the fact that non-greek men don't understand what all this greek stuff is about. And I know I have also been told that greek girls are different than non-greek girls. When my fiance' and I first got together he said he was afraid to date me because he has heard about sorority girls. He said he knew how we are about guys..such as when one guy screws a greek girl over, her whole sorority hates him for the most part. Things like that don't happen when you are non-greek. My personal opinion however is that there should be differences between greeks and non-greeks. Because we are a part of a greek organization it does set us apart from those who aren't. It's not that we are trying to disaffiliate with those who aren't greek it's just that we have something extra to bring those of us who are greek a little closer together.

~Anchored in DG~

[Trideltajen]

Well, when I joined my sorority, I had a non-Greek boyfriend. He finally admitted one day to me that it bugged him that I was in a sorority. He felt like he was in competition with my new sisters in that I started spending a lot of time with the girls. Also, he had a serious problem with the fact that sororities have exchanges with fraternities.. He was convinced that the sole purpose of exchanges were for people to hook up, rather than just meet new people. His logic was why should I go out with my sisters (to exchanges) to meet guys when I already have a boyfriend... He wanted me to quit the sorority. We broke up in January.

Now that I have been in "fratland" (that's what we call it at U of T, do other universites call it that too?) for one year, I have some observations about frat guys.
Keep in mind that this is just from my personal experience and I know that it doesn't represent ALL Fratguys.
MOST of the guys in fratland I have met are cheaters! I am not saying this as a bitter sorority girl who was cheated on by a greek, because that has never happened to me...
Here's what I've noticed:
1) Fratguys don't want commitment with sorority girls
2) They only get into relationships with non-sorority girls
3) The sorority girls they view as "toys"- just there to be played with, nothing long term (a couple of my frat friends refer to sorority girls as "sorostitutes"...Charming, eh?)
4) A lot of them think fratland "doesn't count" when it comes to fidelity. Meaning they can cheat on their non-sorority girlfriend with sorority girls and it doesn't bother them because.. hey... it's fratland.

I may seem bitter, but I assure you I am not.. One of my good friends in fratland refers to himself as the "last true romantic" and for sure there are more out there like him.
I have come to realize that if you are looking for "relationship material" it's difficult to find it in fratland or in the club scene, and my school/classes are too large to meet people in... So what is a sorority girl to do?

------------------
Jen, VPF
Delta Delta Delta
Canada Alpha Chapter (http://www.trideltauoft.cjb.net)

My Website: www.geocities.com/trideltajen (http://www.geocities.com/trideltajen)

Tridelta: 1 letter, 3X better

[This message has been edited by Trideltajen (edited June 18, 2001).]

[Miami1839]

Jen,

I agree with all of your observations. I'd say #2 applied to my chapter the most. I never called it "fratland". I'm not really fond of the word frat. To me its sort of condescending. But I see where your coming from. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Dating a sorority girl never happened for me. I took a few girls out to formal and that was a blast. I would say generally the experience was more enjoyable. I have a few regrets that I was overlooked. LOL Especially since most guys in my chapter couldnt understand why I had problems with women in general. I still cant understand it myself. One of my closest brothers always had a line or a method when he went out on the town but I was never for that. I always figured girls saw right through that and I figured if she did buy into it I wonder. LOL Anyways, thanks on behalf of us romantic men. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alumnus
Epsilon Mu
Sigma '94
George Mason U. '97

[Miami1839]

Jen,

I agree with all of your observations. I'd say #2 applied to my chapter the most. I never called it "fratland". I'm not really fond of the word frat. To me its sort of condescending. But I see where your coming from. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif Dating a sorority girl never happened for me. I took a few girls out to formal and that was a blast. I would say generally the experience was more enjoyable. I have a few regrets that I was overlooked. LOL Especially since most guys in my chapter couldnt understand why I had problems with women in general. I still cant understand it myself. One of my closest brothers always had a line or a method when he went out on the town but I was never for that. I always figured girls saw right through that and I figured if she did buy into it I wonder. LOL Anyways, thanks on behalf of us romantic men. http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif

Kevin
Beta Theta Pi Alumnus
Epsilon Mu
Sigma '94
George Mason U. '97 http://hometown.aol.com/kev2u1972/index.html

[AngelPhiSig]

Well heres my 2 cents... I have never really had a long relationship with a greek guy. However my biological-sister was laviliered to Phi Delta Theta...

I guess from that (they are sooo not together anymore) I have this highly romanticised (yet extremely distorted) view of dating a greek... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/confused.gif

I know that some GDI's have NO concept of what it is to be greek and to have a commitment... http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif and to have things that you have to do and cant put off (like exec board work!) I guess Clarion is very lacking in nice greek men (note- MEN, not boys http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/redface.gif) ) that would be my view... <sigh>

[AlphaSigLana]

My ex was a Sigma Pi. He jsut dumped me. I moved back home once this college yr was through. He broke up with me by email. Basically he prefers hanging out with his fraternity brothers. I think that men in a fraternity prefer to hang out with their brothers than have a steady relationship. I miss him a lot. I think Greek men are a lot of fun. The Sig Pi's at my school have many goodlooking men, I don't really know guys in the other fratnertiys so I can't comment on them. I want to date a greek man ready for commitment. I feel like a loser being single.

[Thetagurl]

Well everyone, this is my aspect on the situation. I have dated my share of non-greeks and greeks and I feel that there isn't a difference. A guy can be a jerk if he wants to be being in a frat doesn't make him a jerk. I have dated independent jerks as well as greek jerks...a jerk is a jerk. Anyway, I currently date a sig pi. We have been dating for over a year and a half and our relationship is wonderful and I would trade him, his greek status, or our relationship for the world. Girls-just keep looking for a special guy and don't limit yourself to greek or non-greek.. But remember "greeks do everything better" (that's a joke..lol)

[Thetagurl]

Well everyone, this is my aspect on the situation. I have dated my share of non-greeks and greeks and I feel that there isn't a difference. A guy can be a jerk if he wants to be being in a frat doesn't make him a jerk. I have dated independent jerks as well as greek jerks...a jerk is a jerk. Anyway, I currently date a sig pi. We have been dating for over a year and a half and our relationship is wonderful and I would trade him, his greek status, or our relationship for the world. Girls-just keep looking for a special guy and don't limit yourself to greek or non-greek.. But remember "greeks do everything better" (that's a joke..lol)

[SLOTheta]

I know what you mean about waiting for the Lavalier, honey!! My Sigma Chi boyfriend is 'waiting' for the right moment to give it to me!

[gammazetagrl]

Lana, never EVER feel like a loser just because you are single! Well its natural to feel that way in the early time after a breakup but things always have a brighter side. I learned that first hand. Sure, im sure your sisters n friends have already told u that things will get better,etc, and right now those things they said are hard to believe (believe me i know)but they really will.

ps:i will email u back sweetie

------------------
"To supress our feelings only makes them stronger"--from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

[AOPIHottie]

Well, I dated about 3 Greeks before I became an AOPI, and they seemed like any other guy, except they were the ones throwing the parties, and knew the best places to go hang out. I dated a Theta Chi, and the best part was I met some great AOPi ladies before I rushed, so when I went through rush I was much more comfortable with the whole sorority thing. And, I really felt close to my new sisters because they were already girls I knew. And when we had mixers it was even more fun because I already alot of the guys in the different fraternaties, and it just happened that I was great friends with some of the guys who were our 'big brother' fraternity. So when I became a greek and started to date a greek, it was like being with a close friend.
I will admit though, that when my Theta had to cancel with me cause of chapter meetings, or because of mixers with another sorority, it kinda bothered me, but that gave us a chance to spend time with our own friends. So, as far as I am concerned, I think dating a greek is great!

[AOPIHottie]

Well, I dated about 3 Greeks before I became an AOPI, and they seemed like any other guy, except they were the ones throwing the parties, and knew the best places to go hang out. I dated a Theta Chi, and the best part was I met some great AOPi ladies before I rushed, so when I went through rush I was much more comfortable with the whole sorority thing. And, I really felt close to my new sisters because they were already girls I knew. And when we had mixers it was even more fun because I already alot of the guys in the different fraternaties, and it just happened that I was great friends with some of the guys who were our 'big brother' fraternity. So when I became a greek and started to date a greek, it was like being with a close friend.
I will admit though, that when my Theta had to cancel with me cause of chapter meetings, or because of mixers with another sorority, it kinda bothered me, but that gave us a chance to spend time with our own friends. So, as far as I am concerned, I think dating a greek is great!

[AOPIHottie]

Well, I dated about 3 Greeks before I became an AOPI, and they seemed like any other guy, except they were the ones throwing the parties, and knew the best places to go hang out. I dated a Theta Chi, and the best part was I met some great AOPi ladies before I rushed, so when I went through rush I was much more comfortable with the whole sorority thing. And, I really felt close to my new sisters because they were already girls I knew. And when we had mixers it was even more fun because I already alot of the guys in the different fraternaties, and it just happened that I was great friends with some of the guys who were our 'big brother' fraternity. So when I became a greek and started to date a greek, it was like being with a close friend.
I will admit though, that when my Theta had to cancel with me cause of chapter meetings, or because of mixers with another sorority, it kinda bothered me, but that gave us a chance to spend time with our own friends. So, as far as I am concerned, I think dating a greek is great!

[AOPIHottie]

Well, I dated about 3 Greeks before I became an AOPI, and they seemed like any other guy, except they were the ones throwing the parties, and knew the best places to go hang out. I dated a Theta Chi, and the best part was I met some great AOPi ladies before I rushed, so when I went through rush I was much more comfortable with the whole sorority thing. And, I really felt close to my new sisters because they were already girls I knew. And when we had mixers it was even more fun because I already alot of the guys in the different fraternaties, and it just happened that I was great friends with some of the guys who were our 'big brother' fraternity. So when I became a greek and started to date a greek, it was like being with a close friend.
I will admit though, that when my Theta had to cancel with me cause of chapter meetings, or because of mixers with another sorority, it kinda bothered me, but that gave us a chance to spend time with our own friends. So, as far as I am concerned, I think dating a greek is great!

[XO_Princess]

About dating Greek men:
I think it really depends on the individual that you're dating. My ex decided to pledge Sigma Nu two years after we were dating-I was already Greek-and after he got in, he turned into such an ass! I guess he saw that there were a ton of girls around the house, so why be tied down to me? After we broke up, I started dating one of his older frat brothers, and three years later we are still together. My boyfriend has always treated me with such respect and love, and he is my best friend. He's such a contrast to my ex. Maybe it was the age difference (2 yrs.) or the fact that he'd done the Sigma Nu thing for two years when we met, and the thrill of the "groupies" had worn off.

[XO_Princess]

About dating Greek men:
I think it really depends on the individual that you're dating. My ex decided to pledge Sigma Nu two years after we were dating-I was already Greek-and after he got in, he turned into such an ass! I guess he saw that there were a ton of girls around the house, so why be tied down to me? After we broke up, I started dating one of his older frat brothers, and three years later we are still together. My boyfriend has always treated me with such respect and love, and he is my best friend. He's such a contrast to my ex. Maybe it was the age difference (2 yrs.) or the fact that he'd done the Sigma Nu thing for two years when we met, and the thrill of the "groupies" had worn off.

[Phi Sig Princess]

Dating Greek Men is just easier becuase they understand when you have sisterhood events or things out of the ordinary like what is ritual. The only problem I have come across in dating fraternity guys is the Fraternity being like a locker room where the guys tell each other EVERYTHING. The best thing is to trust the guy. I have a wonderful boyfriend that is a Delt Sig and his brothers are all great to hang around with and make me feel very comfortable. Non greeks generally just do not understand the greek system

[AlphaChiChristy]

I think it really depends on whether or not they were Greek when you started dating them. My high school sweetheart and I dated for 4 1/2 years. I joined AXO my sophomore year of college, and then he joined Sigma Nu the next year. Before he was Greek, everything was pretty much the same. I joined AXO b/c I went to school in the same city I grew up in and all my friends went away to school. I didn't know anyone at my college, other than my boyfriend (which of course, put a strain on the relationship, itself). So, I decided to go through rush, had a blast, and joined the best chapter on campus. We had made a promise to each other that if we felt we were being led away from our relationship by our organizations that we wouldn't participate (We didn't know what to expect. Being Greek was new to both of us). Well, I upheld my end of that promise, but he didn't. Basically, I feel that a fraternity's demands on a guy are very different from a sorority's demands on a girl. Sororities encourage relationships of all kinds (friendships, families and romance), while fraternities (at least at my school) encouraged brotherhood, and anything outside of that "took away from the fraternity experience." I heard some of his brothers tell him that you can't have a serious relationship and be in a fraternity at the same time. My opinion is that he should have been stronger willed and stood up to his brothers regarding us, but I guess you fight for what you want, and I wasn't a priority at the time. Now, after he and I broke up, I dated a few other Greek men on campus, and it was different b/c they were Greek when we started dating. It still didn't work for me b/c by that point I was about to graduate and had shifted my priorities from partying to studying, and from hooking up to wanting a relationship that would last more than a month. All in all, I think that dating a fraternity guy was a good experience, and I wouldn't change my college years for anything, but I'm happy now that I'm engaged to a man who is out of school, focused on us and has priorities in line with mine. I'm not saying that if this relationship doesn't work that I wouldn't date a guy just b/c he was Greek, but I'd make sure that he was out of school, for one (you change your focus after college), and that, while his fraternity should be important to him, it didn't rule his life or dictate his relationships. All in all, I think it depends on the guy!

[AlphaChiChristy]

Oh, I forgot to mention that my ex lavaliered me, and that, believe it or not, was when things really changed. We'd already been together 3 1/2 years at that point, too. I guess that didn't matter to his brothers, b/c they beat him with a paddle for giving me his letters. I kid you not - from the small of his back to his knees was black and blue. Anyway, he was dumb for letting them do that to him, in my opinion (I would NEVER have let someone do that do me - I would've fought back and called nationals)! But, I guess that when he saw the treatment he'd get from his brothers for being in love, his priorities shifted from me to making his brothers happy with him - which meant being single like them. Oh, of course you were allowed to have your flings with sorority girls and freshmen, but it had better not mean anything to you! So, trust me, getting lavaliered is awesome, wearing their letters is great, but without a solid relationship, those letters don't mean much!

[ConcordDZ]

After dating both Greek and non-Greek men, I've found that it has been much easier and fun for me to date a Greek than a non-Greek. The non-Greek I went out with a few times was older than me--graduated from college, had a good job--and had went to a commuter school where Greek life wasn't a big deal. He though all the typical sorority girl stereotypes were true, which I couldn't be farther from. That pissed me off because he automatically assumed I was stupid, superficial, and easy, which ruined our so-called relationship from the beginning.

My boyfriend of a year and a half is a Pi Kapp and we have a GREAT relationship. He was archon when I was VP of New Member Ed., and was in his last semester when I took over President, so we understood each other's time commitments and events we had to attend. My sorority always hangs out with his fraternity, which always makes things much more fun because we're at the same parties and get togethers with the same friends. We are best friends with 3 other couples from our fraternity/sorority and go out together all the time for dinner and stuff like that. We are both going to be in a wedding next summer for one of those couples, so commitment has never been a problem for us or our friends. Some frat guys and sorority girls are players, but that's their own immaturity. It's the person that makes you a player--not the letters.

[KTE Kitten]

Once I went greek I started dating greek guys left and right. And I have found that they can be sweet and they understand all the greek stuff(ie:bonding and rituals) but from my experience they are very immature. Then again I'm just speaking from my experience...I'm sure there are some great Greek guys out there...but @UC there are few if any. I then dated a non greek semi anti greek guy and it was a total change. I then missed the commonality between myself and another greek. But not enough to date one. SO honestly it doesnt matter if they are Greek or not...my question is "are any guys mature?"

[Parleamoi]

I think that the greek system is stereotyped just way too much. People are always saying that greek guys are too into partying and too inmature but in reality girls need to realize that boys will be boys. Being a greek boy just gives him more of an opportunity to be a jack off. So really it's not just greek boys who are asses, it is in their male genes. In response to the question "date greek or non-greek" personally I would have to say I prefer greek. I have been a Delta Zeta for a year now and I am dating a Sigma Chi. Because we have the same priorities with our houses we understand the reasons behind going greek and the time and character commitment.

[lilbittynikki12]

Greek Men where to start Now some people like dating greek guys and I'll admit at first I did too but after awhile you realize the real people they are! Greek guys are very very immature! I have known some pretty immature guys in my high school days and hoped to come to college and date a smart cute fun mature guy YEA RIGHT!! Greek guys are worse than highschoolers I have dated! So my advice if want mature STAY AWAY from the greek guys!

[TKEbabyk]

In my experience most of the time greek guys are not really different from non-greeks. My freshman year in college I became greek and the guy I was dating couldn't stand how I couldn't always be there to hang out. I've been dating a greek guy for almost a year now and he's completely understanding when I can't go out because we both have other priorities and have to share ourselves with others. It doesn't really matter if the guy is greek or not, it just depends on how mature he is to begin with. I prefer hanging out with greek guys to because they are more understanding about soo many things and more fun. I hope all you other girls find happiness in and out of the greek world.

Kim

[DZAmanda]

I haven't noticed huge differences between Greek and non-Greek men when it comes to dating. The main difference I've had is the experience of guys changing (read: acting like idiots) when around their friends - this seems to happen more with fraternity men b/c they have the organized fraternity events that non-Greeks don't have.
Additionally, the Greek men that I have dated have been more understanding when it comes to my involvement with my sorority and Panhellenic. That's always a bonus.
On the down side, I have been involved with a guy during his pledge period - that was tough. He had to be at the beck & call of his brothers all the time, which didn't leave enough time for me. As a sorority woman, I understood - but at the same time it was annoying.
This thread is interesting - I've enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts on the subject.
Amanda

[DZAmanda]

I haven't noticed huge differences between Greek and non-Greek men when it comes to dating. The main difference I've had is the experience of guys changing (read: acting like idiots) when around their friends - this seems to happen more with fraternity men b/c they have the organized fraternity events that non-Greeks don't have.
Additionally, the Greek men that I have dated have been more understanding when it comes to my involvement with my sorority and Panhellenic. That's always a bonus.
On the down side, I have been involved with a guy during his pledge period - that was tough. He had to be at the beck & call of his brothers all the time, which didn't leave enough time for me. As a sorority woman, I understood - but at the same time it was annoying.
This thread is interesting - I've enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts on the subject.
Amanda

[angel_kak]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by DZAmanda:
[B]I haven't noticed huge differences between Greek and non-Greek men when it comes to dating. The main difference I've had is the experience of guys changing (read: acting like idiots) when around their friends - this seems to happen more with fraternity men b/c they have the organized fraternity events that non-Greeks don't have.


Isn't that the truth...I think I have had the same experience. Alot of the guys were players though....Arghh...I'm not saying on fraternity guys are players just all the ones that I have met! You know what I mean. I realize this can go both ways...because I know sorority women who act the same way! Unfortunately, I always fall for the those boys...they are fun aren't they though? Interesting post guys!!!

Kirsten

[Mulottogirl]

Well ladies, in my opinion dating a Greek guy is a tad bit different, but not to say in a negative way or to say that everyone should date Greek. I am Greek and when you date another Greek they have a little more understanding of why you have to go so many meetings and service events. My sorority is service based and we got alotta events that we do, so my ex-Greek boyfriend(organization will remain un-named) totally understood all the stuff I was doing. And since we lived in different towns 2 hours away from each other, there was a time when he had to run me back for a meeting and he was really cool about it cuz he has to do the same thing.

Plus its kinda fun- although we were from different organizations, we both would share different stories from when we were on line and stuff(of course not in depth stuff), just funny situations.

But hey I say date a man b/c he's good and repsects you reguardless if he wears letters or not, cuz I know alot of girls who date men just for their letters- eh, eh, don't do that...Letters don't mean nothin, its the man underneath that matters...

So thats my 2 cents!!!!

-J"Sunshine" #103

[Mulottogirl]

Well ladies, in my opinion dating a Greek guy is a tad bit different, but not to say in a negative way or to say that everyone should date Greek. I am Greek and when you date another Greek they have a little more understanding of why you have to go so many meetings and service events. My sorority is service based and we got alotta events that we do, so my ex-Greek boyfriend(organization will remain un-named) totally understood all the stuff I was doing. And since we lived in different towns 2 hours away from each other, there was a time when he had to run me back for a meeting and he was really cool about it cuz he has to do the same thing.

Plus its kinda fun- although we were from different organizations, we both would share different stories from when we were on line and stuff(of course not in depth stuff), just funny situations.

But hey I say date a man b/c he's good and repsects you reguardless if he wears letters or not, cuz I know alot of girls who date men just for their letters- eh, eh, don't do that...Letters don't mean nothin, its the man underneath that matters...

So thats my 2 cents!!!!

-J"Sunshine" #103

------------------
The Power Of One Always Survives

[Mulottogirl]

Well ladies, in my opinion dating a Greek guy is a tad bit different, but not to say in a negative way or to say that everyone should date Greek. I am Greek and when you date another Greek they have a little more understanding of why you have to go so many meetings and service events. My sorority is service based and we got alotta events that we do, so my ex-Greek boyfriend(organization will remain un-named) totally understood all the stuff I was doing. And since we lived in different towns 2 hours away from each other, there was a time when he had to run me back for a meeting and he was really cool about it cuz he has to do the same thing.

Plus its kinda fun- although we were from different organizations, we both would share different stories from when we were on line and stuff(of course not in depth stuff), just funny situations.

But hey I say date a man b/c he's good and repsects you reguardless if he wears letters or not, cuz I know alot of girls who date men just for their letters- eh, eh, don't do that...Letters don't mean nothin, its the man underneath that matters...

So thats my 2 cents!!!!

-J"Sunshine" #103

------------------
The Power Of One Always Survives

[Mulottogirl]

Well ladies, dating a Greek man is different, not in a bad way and not to say that Greeks should date Greeks either.

When I was dating a Greek man(organization will remain un named), it was cool becuase he understood why I had to go to so many meetings and attend service events. And since my sorority is service based and very small, the sorors needed each other. My ex-boyfriend and I lived 2 hours away from each other and I remember one time when he had to drive me back early b/c we had a meeting and he was really cool about it, beucase he understood.

Plus, even though we were from different organizations, we shared stories from when we were on line(not in depth stuff) just funny situations and all kinds of stuff

But hey, I say date a man becuase he is a good man and treats you with respect ladies. I know too many ladies that date men just becuase they are Greek or they pick organizations that they want to date- eh, eh, not good...Its not the letters that make the man.

But hey thats my 2 cents!

-J"Sunshine" #103

[Brelki]

I have yet to date a greek man, however, I'm thinking it might be a bit easier than my situation from the relationship I just got out of -- he was VERY jealous of the time I was spending with my sisters and he kept urging me to leave my sorority. However, that relationship ended quickly -- I love being a part of Chi O and wouldn't give that up for any man. I figure maybe a fellow greek guy could understand my time restraints and such. I dunno.... Anyone know any cute greek guys in IL? hehe ;)

[texas*princess]

Originally posted by TrueGreekLove
For those of you that have dated greek men, do you find them to be any different than men who are non-greek? Is it different to date a greek man if you are greek yourself versus being a non greek dating a greek man? What are the pros and cons? I am just asking because generally I have found greek men to be very immature...and then there have been those that do a 360 on you after becoming greek and discovering that there are fraternity groupies out there...they are a completely different person after they cross!

Excellent conversation! In my experience with my current bf, we started dating before he went Greek. At first, I felt like he did the "360" in a way, and others could kind of see it too. Not so much that he "found fraternity groupies" like you mentioned, but he had a complete personality change, so I sort of had trouble adjusting.

After countless long hours of talking and stuff, we worked everything out. I realized that maybe it wasn't so much of a personality change, but maybe a part of his personality that i hadn't seen before when he's with his brothers. We stayed together and things have been super great since http://216.40.241.68/contrib/guus/liefde.gif

[annice22]

From my experience, dating greek guys is hard because of the groupies and the guys lack of committment. Not to sound to hypocritical I find it hard to be committmented myself because there are a lot of cute frat boys. Being greek myself makes it worse.

I've had a not so great experience with the pikes on my campus because they are the biggest frat on campus and the girls are lining up to sleep with them. But, I still love my pikes. And when you try to show some self-respect and say no you want go home with them on a thurs (bar night) then they'll say they will go find a girl who will go home with them.

But I still have hopes of finding my greek boy (a pike) before I graduate.

With Love Always Phi Sigma Sigma

[Jadey28]

I have been dating a Greek man since November 2000. Our relationship is actually pretty good. When I first became a member of Phi Sigma Sigma, my then-boyfriend didn't understand why I couldn't tell him certain things and why I always had something to do. He didn't understand the concept of socials and he didn't take any initiative to learn anything about the Greek system. We broke up because we were heading in different directions in life.

Then I met my current boyfriend. We actually met at a social and things progressed from there. We both understand that some things come first with our organizations and that we can't get upset over them. I understand that he needs his time with his boys and he understands my time with my girls. He has been very supportive of my decision to become an advisor for a chapter of Phi Sigma Sigma.

In addition, I have become very close with many of his brothers. I feel like I have 25 brothers of my own when I am with them. Likewise, he has become close with a few of my sisters. We all have wonderful times together and everyone gets along. I know this would not have happened with my ex-boyfriend.

I am very thankful for my boyfriend. He knows all about candle passes and how important that moment will be for me. I hope to create little legacies one day with him! ;)

[DZHBrown]

I've dated 4 Greeks and unfortunately, they were the worst people I've ever dated. It may not be because they were Greek, but I hate that it's been that way. I'd love to marry a fraternity man for 2 reasons - he'll understand my committment to DZ and so my future little boy can be a legacy :) So hopefully, I'll find a nice Greek man one day.

[bethany1982]

Men are men and boys are boys.... being Greek does not change that. There are a lot of Greek "little boys." Unfortunately, being Greek alone does not develop character any more than it develops a good GPA. I've dated both... I'll look for maturity before I look for letters. The only upside I see in dating a Greek is his understanding of my commitments.


AF

Friends may come and go but sisters are FOREVER.

[AXEgirl]

I've dated 2 greeks and the rest were GDI's...

My relationship with the first greek I dated was really hard, cause when we met, he was a neo, and I was a GDI, so he was always doing stuff with his lb's and I just didn't understand.

The second time I dated a greek was much better, because I understood what was going on...

Overall, there isn't really a difference to me. In some ways I prefer a greek,because he is committed to helping the community and knows the value of hard work, scholarship, and brotherhood. But at the same time, they can sometimes just be stupid when they are around their frat.

[fsu24DZ]

This is a Very difficult topic to determine.. All Guys are Different, it doesn't matter if their Greek or non-greek!!! I have dated both as well, it really depends though! I find that Greeks understand your commitment to your organization better, as well as you do theirs! Both have pro's and cons... boys will be boys! I think in college, there arn't very many guys looking for a serious realationship..Now I dind't say All!! I know there are some~ But there is a time and place for everything, and things all happen for a reason..! So, if it's meant to be it will be! that's my 2 cents~

Bridget`

[AngelPhiSig]

I would love to date a greek just because they would understand a HUGE part of my life...

[breathesgelatin]

I have only dated Greek men. Unless I found someone spectacular, I would definately not date a non-Greek. This may be because at my school 85% of men are Greek and if they are not there tends to be a.... reason. Either they:

a) act really, really, really sketchy when drunk
b) sort of hole themselves up in their rooms all the time
c) are just not interested, which usually means they're not interested in the same things I am

Outside of my college or after college I would certainly be open to a non-Greek. But I think me and my current dude might just go the distance, anyway!http://216.40.249.192/s/otn/love/malelovies.gif

[James]

I don't date men.

[AGDPrincess70]

Originally posted by James
I don't date men.



that's good to hear :)

[AlphaGamDiva]

during college, i've only seriously dated two guys, but gone out with plenty....some are fraternity men, some are not. it just depends on the character of the person, really.....not that i chose the best character, but hey. my first b/f at college was given the ol' black ball from sig ep.....yes, i dated such a respectable human being to be BLACK BALLED. :rolleyes: dated a few other random fraternity guys/non-greeks here and there...all fun, no drama.....and the last guy i seriously dated was a highly respected member of what? sig ep! so...interesting turn for me.

as far as dating a greek vs a non-greek....i don't think it matters as long as the other person realizes that my sorority is very important to me, and he can't expect me to choose him over my girls everytime. i take a lot of pride in my chapter and i love everything that alpha gam stands for.......and i need for whoever i'm with to understand that and respect that. if he's involved in his fraternity, he prob won't have any issues with that.....if he's not, then i'm sure there's something else he's involved with that he takes just as seriously as i take my letters (hopefully, anyway). i've done the dating-the-boy-who-talks-down-about-my-sorority-thing.....and i will never, ever, ever do it again. you don't respect my sisters, you don't respect me. period.

james...you don't? and i had the perfect man just ready for you!!!! ;)

[luvtoscrap]

Here is my penny's worth of thoughts:

The positive side:

The guy learns time mangement skills, leadership skills, and organizational skills that will translate to skills are useful in the adult world and his future care.

The negative aspects:

Any time any group of guys get together they are going to act imature. It is like the male bonding thing. They are with thier buds. Even those that graduate college continue with this silly ritual-it's called the golf leagues and that occassionaly emergency reason he has to go see his bud (along with five other closest buds on a Sat night). Oh don't get me wrong-they are crazy about you-if they weren't they would not have married you. You don't mad-you just laugh because this is how G-d has created them. It happens to non-Greeks too. I think it is hormonal.

The super positive part:
For some they continue this immature male bonding ritual until their mid-thirties then they start beginning very involved with the family. It is really cool. They start doing really nice things like making sure they put the toliet seat down because they really care. Making sure all the cars have a full tank of gas in the morning. They become super responsible at home. All those great organizational skills they learned in the frat translates to both work and home. Oh it is wonderful. And the best part-they don't outgrow this phase.

[lilsunshine214]

I've dated Greek men and non-Greek men.

My current boyfriend was a boyscout so though he doesn't quite know what I'm doing, he respects and understand my decision to be Greek.

I've dated a few Greeks as well and sometimes it was hard because if I wasn't at one event, he was at another.

Then again, I've also dated the independant who thoguht being with me would bump up his reputation.

I don't prefer one to the other because I've seen the good and bad of both.

[PiPhiGirl2005]

The only guy I dated seriously in college (and am still dating) is a member of Sigma Chi, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The fraternity has caused him to grow and mature so much during our college years, and it has been so great to watch his journey. It's not just him, either: the Sigma Chis at my school are just great guys.

Sure, we both had really busy schedules, but we love it that way. There were many semesters when we were both holding high-profile EC offices, but it's really nice to date someone who has the same commitment to an organization as you do. Our weekends were consumed by formals, date parties, and philanthropy events, but again, we liked it that way.

And I never thought of his time with his brothers as immature male bonding - we're in college to have a good time, and I completely supported him doing goofy stuff with his brothers. I'm glad he grew so close to all of them and made such interesting memories with them. I will always think fondly of him and all of his brothers.

[luvtoscrap]

smiles....PhiGirl2005

Honestly this is just an insight and nothing more- after having 4 children, 30 plus years of marriage, having three children that are grown (one is still at home-he was a major opps), two which have their own families, experienced both the ups and downs of life-my husband and I do not take life so seriously. He was committed to his frat in college-and still is on a different level. In college he did philantrophy events, held office, and had formals. They also did goofy and fun stuff like had panty and bra raids on different sorority houses. This was also the era of intense hazing and drunken parties which were held at the fraternity house. Today we consider this a risk management nightmare-then a normal part of Greek life. In fact I was hazed as a pledge. It was a different era.

However both my husband look back at our life and we think we were all mature at the age of 30...now we laugh at concept. Heck we don't know what life was until after the age of forty. Yes I do tease him about the immature guy stuff and he teases me about some of things I do-my cooking club, my buying a channel purse last year and my scrapbooking hobby. However, through everything we have experienced during the last 40 years it has been out committment to each other that has helped us through the bad times and made the good times even better. That is not to say keeping that relationship strong did not take a lot of work and a loads of communication on both of our parts.

[Tom Earp]

God, what an old Broad!;)

What GLOs do besides being somewhat stupid is give Young people a sense of being, directing, participating and learning.

Remember, Greeks concentrate on many things,:

GPA to stay Active.
Participation in Charity Events.
Be and Officer.
Learn to lead.
Be a Member for Life and try to stay active when can.

Damn, I have been doing it for 40 Years.

If I did not do this, I would not be on this Site, know so many of My Local Brothers and Brothers from all over The Country and Others.

Oh, what is a Channel Purse? Did You catch it fishing with a Family Outing?:D

Oh, by the way, Welcome to GC!:cool:

There is life after 40, Hell try 63!:eek:

The Golden Years Suck, that is why I am still envolved, the Kids make Me feel young even though I Catch ten tons of S*it from them, it because they care for me!!!:D I Hope!;)

[luvtoscrap]

Tom,

Thanks for the warm welcome to GC. At least I am not the most senile of the bunch :)

Et toi on that Channel purse. The real joke is that I purchased it "slightly used" on ebay. The only "used" part was a small mark on the inside with a steal of a final price. Anyhow I wore it to a charity event last year. Hubby still as a joke hassles me that he was expected to donate more at that event only because I wore that purse then if the purse cost new. Yeah give me a break....just an excuse to give me a hassle.

[Susan_Renee]

I have dated greek men before and after becoming greek. I didn't find the experiences all that different. I didn't enjoy any of those relationships. I'm definitely not saying all greek men are immature and bad to date. I'm sure they arent. I know many many wonderful men in the greek system. They just tend to always be the ones I'm only friends with. I think I just need to work on picking better guys. :p

[Beta version]

I've used Greek dating services (http://www.seekagreek.com) like that. I must it's an interesting thread lol.. I've been out with a Greek girl, but unfortunantly it never worked out :(

[PhoenixAzul]

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now. During my pledge period, he was so afraid they were going to force me to have sex with frat boys and drink and smoke and whatever. When he finally met the lunatics I call sisters, I think he finally understood why I took it all so seriously. He finally got over the fact that I wasn't being forced to give up what I believed in to join.

On the other hand, I think that he wishes he had joined one, just because he sees the fun I have, and the fun I have with the fraternity guys at Otterbein. I'm always hanging out with a couple of guys here, and I think he feels left out because he graduated from a school that didn't have greek life and he lives out of state from me. Meh. I always joke that he is a member of Rho Alpha Tau (PAT) because that is his first name. Lame, I know.

[dznat187]

I love dating a greek. He is the only one I have ever dated and we are engaged. It is great because he just gets it. I met him at UIFI so I know he understands my feelings about greek life, incvluding hazing etc. I really don't think i would be abel to date any of the greek men from my undergrad campus just because i couldnt liev with the things they do. i know we would fight all teh time if his chapter hazed their new members or if their grades kept going down. That would enver work out. Luckily, my fiance and I see eye to eye on all those issues and he is just as adament about them as I am, if ot more at times.
I love it!!! and I love him!

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by dznat187
I love dating a greek. He is the only one I have ever dated and we are engaged.


I feel sorry for you. Thats kind of like dating and then marrying the person you lost your virginity to.