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alphachiohmy
11-15-2001, 10:33 AM
When do you think sex has a place in a relationship? Would finding a girlfriend/boyfriend who is waiting for marriage affect how or if you date them? On the flipside, when is a guy/girl considered a slut or manwhore? Does that affect who you date vs. flings?

Just curious as to how you all view sex?

SH80er
11-15-2001, 10:42 AM
A guy has to slide a ring on my finger, before he lays me!

LeslieAGD
11-15-2001, 12:51 PM
Personally, I think that sex should come into play in a relationship when both people are ready for it, whether that is a month or a year into that relationship. Some people get extremely emotionally attached over sex and others don't. I don't think I would treat a guy waiting for marriage any differently, however, I have yet to meet a guy who is waiting for marriage. I think that being a "slut/manwhore" depends on the situation. It's not necessarily fair to say "if you sleep with X number of people, you're a ho" because someone could have a lot of partners due to bad relationships/breakups rather than just randomly sleeping with a lot of people. Just my opinion!

IowaHawkeye
11-15-2001, 12:59 PM
i don't have a schedule i follow in relationships, like
ok after x number of days and phone calls we can do some heavy making out
after x number of days, phone calls, and presents we can head south of the border
and so on... i take relationships and everything they entail as they come, and as mature adults, when we're both ready, we take it from there.

i don't like to use the terms slut/whore, hoe/manwhore - what theyre doin in the bedroom with however many people is soo none of my business!

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 01:07 PM
i like to wait at least 4 hours after I meet them. I feel that gives me plenty of time to decide if I'm ready for sex. ;) No, just joking.

It all depends on what type of relationship it is going to be.

I'm def not too into rushing things, because if we're not going to be together for a while, then why make yourself look like someone just trying to get laid, but if you do see yourself being together for a while, then you've got plenty of time to get laid two or twenty times a day. Either way, no real reason to rush to bed.

Now, if you're in it cause this person is hot & you don't really care what they think about you if you part ways, then I'm all for rushing off to bed (to be honest), Lord knows. No person is going to really disrespect your decision to stay abstainate (sp?) unless they are a real ass hole, in which case you drop their ass, otherwise, don't deprive yourself of getting it on either, cause who doesn't want to have sex? I mean, intense pleasure sucks! But just don't doing it intellectually, decide emotionally, with your heart.

then go to bed... ;)

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 01:10 PM
IHE-

If it's x number of days each time, is that x from the beginning, or from the last place where x left off? Cause that'd be weird, go forever with nothing, then all of a sudden, round 1st, 2nd, 3rd & slide into home at the same 'at bat.'

SparkliiQTMTSU
11-15-2001, 01:23 PM
I agree with everyone else. It all depends on the relationship and if the two of you are ready. I know that I dont rush into anything sexual in a relationship mainly b/c I dont want the realtionship to end up based on that which in some cases it can. If your partner or maybe partner is waiting for marriage why should it matter?? Is sex the reason youre dating the person???? and I totally agree with IowaHawkEye I believe that It's noone's business how many or who anyone's been with!!!


Nichole

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 01:28 PM
I know a girl who has slept with 19 guys. If I didn't know that, and was considering dating her, I'd def want someone to tell me. Same thing for my guy friend who has slept with 15 girls.

SparkliiQTMTSU
11-15-2001, 01:33 PM
I believe that once you do get into a relationship or whatever with a person you should be able to openly discuss who youve been with so that the other person does know not to go tell their buddies or anything just for their own FYI!

Nichole

amycat412
11-15-2001, 01:48 PM
Originally posted by SparkliiQTMTSU
I believe that once you do get into a relationship or whatever with a person you should be able to openly discuss who youve been with so that the other person does know not to go tell their buddies or anything just for their own FYI!

Nichole

Oh No. Trust me on this one--been there, done that, and it is a BAAAAD scene. No one really truly wants to know. It breeds insecurity, etc. Now I am talking about relationships, not hookups.

I don't want to know how many people he's been with and I'm not telling him how many I've been with. But this is from a 30+ viewpoint too--in college and early 20s I did feel differently--but too many times with full disclosure causing problems for me or him or both--nope, learned the lesson don't ask/don't tell.

As for when--I agree with most everyone else. When both of you are ready. I've had relationships where this was immediately, and relationships where this took six months--it definitely depends on the situation.

SH80er
11-15-2001, 01:50 PM
Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
I know a girl who has slept with 19 guys. If I didn't know that, and was considering dating her, I'd def want someone to tell me. Same thing for my guy friend who has slept with 15 girls.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

DeltaBetaBaby
11-15-2001, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
I know a girl who has slept with 19 guys. If I didn't know that, and was considering dating her, I'd def want someone to tell me. Same thing for my guy friend who has slept with 15 girls.

Do you know the exact circumstances surrounding each of their sexual encounters? Do you know their own motivations for their actions? Do you know how they felt before, during, or after?

I think you have a lot of nerve passing judgement.

SH80er
11-15-2001, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby


Do you know the exact circumstances surrounding each of their sexual encounters? Do you know their own motivations for their actions? Do you know how they felt before, during, or after?

I think you have a lot of nerve passing judgement.

In a circumstance like that it's the action what counts, screw intentions!

There's like diseases out there! :eek:

KillarneyRose
11-15-2001, 02:53 PM
The second date I had with my husband, I lured him to my apartment for chicken parmagian and then pretty much attacked him. We were engaged within two weeks.

My point (yes, I have one) is just that if a guy decides he likes a girl, he is going to want to further the relationship whether or not sex is involved. Conversely, if he doesn't particularly like her, sex isn't going to change that either.

So, there's what I think I think! :cool: But I could be wrong; wouldn't be the first time!

shadokat
11-15-2001, 03:08 PM
Originally posted by SparkliiQTMTSU
I believe that once you do get into a relationship or whatever with a person you should be able to openly discuss who youve been with so that the other person does know not to go tell their buddies or anything just for their own FYI!

Nichole

Oh nooooo! I mean, it's good to want to try this, but how many people are really truthful about the # of folks they've been with!! It was like that episode of Roseanne where Jackie's in the restaurant with Fred and he says "so how many serious boyfriends have you had", and she says "serious? just a few". And he says, "Yeah, that sounds like me and the people I slept with." And Jackie says, "Well, slept with isn't what you asked!" And when Fred asks Jackie how many guys she's been with, she says "oh it's not that many...3 a year since I was 18." (Ends up being 60!) Its hysterical!!

shadokat
11-15-2001, 03:10 PM
Originally posted by valkyrie
4. Honestly, I want a guy who knows what he's doing.

Question: what's the fuss about someone being with 19 people??

AMEN girl!! You're not going to buy a car you can't test drive :)

smiles23
11-15-2001, 03:28 PM
Not to sound repetitive, but I think that you definitely know when the right time is. It may be within one day and it may be after you're married.

Curiosity killed the cat. There are some things that you think you want to know, but you're better off not knowing. This includes how many partners your b/f or g/f has had.

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 03:42 PM
DeltaBaby-
You have equal nerve, for I didn't say I know of, I in fact said I knew, but perhaps should have said I know. Differences noted. Of all 19? That'd be far too many facts to keep in my head, on a (to put ironically) tired interest. She was my best friend through much of my life, and I'd say I know the circumstances on...let's see...umm, 9. Now hey, that's not even half, but it's still 9! And considering what low numbers of those are legitimate compared to the morals of her family, those we learned together growing up though catholic schools, and those she overtly displays, her actions are quite in contrast, then that's quite foul behavior, of which I'd preferably know about were I to take interest in her. You'd have no concern going out, and if you deemed him nice enough, sleeping with my buddy who has had sex with 15 girls? Maybe not, but when it's true, and it's all just f em & leave em, then they have something morally wrong too, wouldn't you say? Not telling your mates is letting them get burned on their own, when you could have used an extinguisher. Not nice.

edited: oops, I did say 'know,' nevermind then, my post was perfectly as i wanted it the first time. ;)

valkyrie
11-15-2001, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
[B]
You'd have no concern going out, and if you deemed him nice enough, sleeping with my buddy who has had sex with 15 girls? Maybe not, but when it's true, and it's all just f em & leave em, then they have something morally wrong too, wouldn't you say? Not telling your mates is letting them get burned on their own, when you could have used an extinguisher. Not nice.


15 people? I wouldn't care. SCC, you are judging by saying that something is "morally wrong" -- if two consenting adults get together for a night of fun and then go their separate ways, what is wrong with that? What is right or wrong, morally or otherwise, can only be determined by the individual for him/herself.

Also, how can you say what number of someone else's sexual encounters are legitimate? What does it even mean, for a sexual encounter to be "legitimate" anyway?

amycat412
11-15-2001, 04:16 PM
Originally posted by valkyrie


What is right or wrong, morally or otherwise, can only be determined by the individual for him/herself.



EXACTLY. Only we can decide our own morals, its not fair for us to impose them on others. If someone's actions offend your sense of morality--after you know the circumstances surrounding those actions--then it is your right to walk away. But it is not anyone's right to judge what went on between someone and their former partner--you weren;t there, you don't know.

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 04:18 PM
how can i discuss my best friends morals?

do you not know the morals of your best friends? I should hope so, true, we've split ways, but much of that was due to her moral desicions. I'm no Bible pusher, and there's nothing wrong with one-nighters when the concept of that person's being is based on what hers is based on. You are uninformed of my friend, my example was to promote that there are some cases that people should be informed, and well...you're disinterest provokes my curiousity. :D Don't come at me for speaking about my friends on issues of which you're ignorant, my dear. Oddly enough, I do know what the girl I've grown up playing with is all about, inside, and out, and I know what morals they have

valkyrie
11-15-2001, 04:30 PM
I don't really understand what you're saying. I don't care what you say or think of your friends.
I'm concerned with, in general, people judging others because of their number of sexual partners, which is what it sounds like you're doing. Why?

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 04:41 PM
no. lemme break it down a bit. i said that i would want to know if my interest had an excessive number of parteners. i'm not just randomly judging someone i don't know, i'm taking from (I'm 21 now) 17 years of being great friends with her and drawing a conclusion about her behaviour. If a friend of mine began taking a love interest in her, i wouldn't spout off, what she's f ed 19 guys, get the hell away, but I'd let him know that she's promiscuous because she is. Am I judging her? No, not really, there's no opinion to that, is me saying she acts immorally considered judging her? I'd even venture to say no on that as well because I know her like the back of my hand. I could tell you what she'd be up to days in advance, her motives behind 75% of what she does...I know her. You don't care, and that's good, but SCC, you are judging by saying that something is "morally wrong" seemed to be blind concern. I'm not trying to incriminate this girl, or have her ostracized for that which she's done, but I also wouldn't want to be the next guy in the line. It's all about the relationship, if he wanted one, and she just wanted to f, then yeah, I'd let him know, and have some knowledge on the subject. If they just both wanted to hit, then hey (and this is assuming she's not slept with anyone in the last year tho last year there were several guys) number 20!

Dejajeva
11-15-2001, 04:44 PM
When I was younger I always thought I'd wait...

But..

If two people are ready...consenting, adults...then that is their choice to have sex or not. I completely agree with everything that everyone is saying...
However...I do feel that sex should be special..you know?
With someone you care about..

I don't know that I could be with a guy who have had sex with twentyfive girls...Nothing against anyone that would, but sex to me is passionate and special and shouldn't be just something you "do to pass time and get off".

I don't think I could be with a guy who wanted to wait mostly because I like sex way too much. lol.

Jess

KSigkid
11-15-2001, 05:24 PM
Originally posted by IowaHawkeye
i don't have a schedule i follow in relationships, like
ok after x number of days and phone calls we can do some heavy making out
after x number of days, phone calls, and presents we can head south of the border
and so on... i take relationships and everything they entail as they come, and as mature adults, when we're both ready, we take it from there.

i don't like to use the terms slut/whore, hoe/manwhore - what theyre doin in the bedroom with however many people is soo none of my business!

I agree with you - what people do on their own time is their own business, and if I'm dating a girl for long enough, hopefully she'll be honest with me on stuff like that, especially when she's that "experienced."

As far as a schedule - there isn't one. You do it when it feels right, you know when it feels right, and there you go. For some people, it's on one of the first dates. For some people , it's when they're engaged. There's no set time table though, because everyone feels a different way about this stuff. You do what feels right in your head and heart, and go from there.

amycat412
11-15-2001, 06:00 PM
Cory,
I find it disturbing that if she started dating a guy you'd inform him that she's been promiscuous. Its not youre concern--ok, if her behavoir upsets you and you distance yourself from her, that's your choice. But it is not cool to go telling other people she may be involved with about her past, Its HER job to do that if she chooses to. Now I know you're talking about a friend of yours in your example and I understand your loyalty to that friend, but...its really not fair to anyone involved to get in the middle of it.

I have friends that have slept with 4 people and friends that have slept with 45 (remember, i'm in my 30s)--and while I certainly would not make the same choices the 45 person did, it doesn't lessen our friendship because those were her choices to make, not mine. I cannot and will not stand judge and jury over my friends, as I hope they won't over me. I've had my fair share of missteps--I cheated on a long term boyfriend-- I regret that. I slept with a married man -- I don't regret that. I would hate it if my friends judged me based on these isolated incidents. They weren't there, no one asked them to be a part of it, and its no one's business but mine and the men involved.

But I love that we can all debate these things here. :)

SigmaChiCard
11-15-2001, 06:07 PM
but in my mind, as i said when it's going to be my friend, and i said that it's when he wanted something and she didn't, well...i feel it is my duty as a friend to supply to my friend what knowledge i have of her. it's her thing, her life...true, but i'm not gonna stand by when she's deceiving my buddy just to get laid, the fact that i know how the other 9 million people she's slept with is just my evidence to base my knowledge upon

damasa
11-15-2001, 06:08 PM
Originally posted by amycat412

But it is not cool to go telling other people she may be involved with about her past,



It's best to keep the past in the past. Some people try to get away from the things they've done in the past, for reasons including; being involved with another individual in the present, or to escape bad memories or what have you. I know that I've done some sketchy things in the future and I have girl friends that know of these things. Would they tell a girl that I'm currently involved with about them, no. Why not? Because it's my right and only my right to tell. So like I said before, keep the past in the past and focus on the present.

d

valkyrie
11-15-2001, 06:11 PM
Amycat, you rock!

alphachiohmy
11-15-2001, 06:14 PM
Originally posted by alphachiohmy
When do you think sex has a place in a relationship? Would finding a girlfriend/boyfriend who is waiting for marriage affect how or if you date them? On the flipside, when is a guy/girl considered a slut or manwhore? Does that affect who you date vs. flings?

Just curious as to how you all view sex?

To reply to my own question - which is a hypothetical question derived from the pages of my roommate's issue of Cosmo:

I don't see sex as an easy decision. It's not as if I could say, "H'mm what do I want for lunch today: Chicken or Sex?"

Right now, there is no one in my life that I want to go that far with. Not to say a night of everything else and spooning doesn't appeal to me - it has a few times this semester and over the past four years in various relationships/flings. :rolleyes: I am no angel.

I grew up Catholic, and it was instilled in me that you wait for sex until you are married. While not so much for religious reasons, I have not had sex yet. I guess part of that stems from my boyfriend freshman year who cheated on me right as we were ready to make that step, and another part of that stems from other incidents that have happened in my life.

At the same time, I believe in the "test drive theory." I just haven't test drove anything to its full potential. I think sexual chemistry has a place in a relationship.

Just right now at this point in my life, I don't want hassles of STDs and pregnancy and emotional hurt.

The survey in Cosmo asked: Should a Woman hold out for sex well into a relationship? What intrigued me was that 100 percent of men said no, 63 percent of women said no.

Tom Earp
11-15-2001, 06:18 PM
I would love to have sex!:D
After giving up on women, and yes I am straight, It is importent to remember that for men, having orgasim, helps from getting prostrait cancer!

In the early years for a male of the species, it is a conquest. Ads time goes by it means something else!

It is like Sex of newlyweds!

When first get married you do it everywhere!!!!

When have kids you have bedroom sex, locked doors!

When kids are gone, you have hall way sex,

YOU walk down the hall and when you see each other you say F---you! :D

"Inside every old man is a young one wonderng what the hell happened!"

SH80er
11-15-2001, 09:20 PM
*Face is redder than apple after reading all of this* :eek::eek::eek:

Call me sexphobic. Although I may think of sex pretty often (I'm sure you observed this on GC), but the thought of actually doing it........

Am I the only f*cking virgin on GC?

James
11-15-2001, 11:23 PM
Some random thoughts on the subject . . .

There is such a thing as too much honesty. If withholding certain types of information that is non-harmful increases your chances of building a relationship, withhold away. So telling someone on your first date about your hundred and five sexual partners might turn a lot of people off. The more important information would be if you had an incurable STD. Otherwise the information is as much their business as when you started masturbating: Only if you want to tell them and its not really relevant to them.

If your last boyfriend was the deepest possible chapter of your sexual history, you don't need to share that information with your new boyfriend. We don't need to know that you have absoilutely no virgin territory left to explore, and that you have even done it on the church alter covered with sacramental wine and using all kinds of props:eek: Although if you have please send me the story by PM, I'd get a kick out of it;).

Number of past partners really doesn't matter, although some guys will feel insecure about it for two reasons: One- we feel we should be studs and should sleep with a significant amount of women, so if your number is the same or higher . . . we feel shamed as men; Two- We believe in the duality of relationship prospects: In other words we sit among our friends and say there are women you date, but never marry, and ofcourse the ones you DO take home to meet the parents. And they are often not the same woman.

And I hate to say it, but often its OTHER women that affect our thoughts about things like this. You women sell eachother out all the time. I have never met a women with a rep that wasn't given to them by other women first.

Note: The greatest turn on the world is a woman totally comfie with her sexuality (cause she can really enjoy herself), and I don't think I would ever stay involved with a woman uptight about her sexuality, way boring, and too many future problems.

Note: One of the the most laughable things are technical virgins. Lets see, they will do EVERYTHING else but intercourse? And usually for religious reasons. Wake-up call, if the God you believe is the standard Christian God he is going to call you on having sex. Look people, if it leads to orgasm . . . its sex. Although I will admit we have mystified the intimacy of intercourse . . . but I can't help but think that it doesn't get much more intimate than going down on a girl . . . especially if I pack a lunch and stay for the day :cool:. I mean after that, we really kind of know eachother :).

Note: The more sexually experienced the girl the more we (guys) kind of hate you for making us wait too long. If you are a virgin and we wait a while (a few weeks or something ;)), its understandable, but if you are pretty sexually active and you make us wait a seemingly long time, then you get tedious. I know, I know, I am being insensitive, but so is the girl. I know you have to be ready, but lets face it her body is telling us she is ready (which means she has to be mentally into it also) and she isn't a virgin . . . so why is she making us beg for it? :rolleyes:

Sh80er, hey girl, there are 12 thousand people registered (although they can't all be active) there are probably 1 or 2 others equally uncomfortable with their sexuality and therfore still virgins.

Sigmachicard, you sound a little bitter man, Did this girl play you as "that guy"?

Nice posts everybody :).

DeltaBetaBaby
11-15-2001, 11:28 PM
Originally posted by James
Some random thoughts on the subject . . .

Note: One of the the most laughable things are technical virgins. Lets see, they will do EVERYTHING else but intercourse? And usually for religious reasons. Wake-up call, if the God you believe is the standard Christian God he is going to call you on having sex. Look people, if it leads to orgasm . . . its sex. Although I will admit we have mystified the intimacy of intercourse . . . but I can't help but think that it doesn't get much more intimate than going down on a girl . . . especially if we pack a lunch and stay for the day :cool:. I mean after that, you really kind of know eachother :).



Oh, thank you! I can't stand the girls who judge me for having sex in a monogomous relationship, when they are in bed with a new guy every night. If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

alphachiohmy
11-15-2001, 11:57 PM
Originally posted by James
Some random thoughts on the subject . . .


Note: One of the the most laughable things are technical virgins. Lets see, they will do EVERYTHING else but intercourse? And usually for religious reasons. Wake-up call, if the God you believe is the standard Christian God he is going to call you on having sex. Look people, if it leads to orgasm . . . its sex. Although I will admit we have mystified the intimacy of intercourse . . . but I can't help but think that it doesn't get much more intimate than going down on a girl . . . especially if I pack a lunch and stay for the day :cool:. I mean after that, we really kind of know eachother :).

Nice posts everybody :).

Let me clarify - my "everything else" is along the lines of Vicki and Kevin pre-book of sexual secrets a la American Pie. It doesn't quite fall into your (James') sexplanation of sex. (Hey, its a pun get it?) So, there is a lot I have to learn, which will come in time. But I do not want to come across as "laughable."

I am not the kind of person who holds a big sign saying look at me I am a virgin. People have stereotypes that all people choosing to not have sex at a certain point in their life as bible-pushing fanatics who curse everyone whose not like them. Just as other stereptypes about people who have sex are groundless.

Bottom line: its a personal choice to be made when a person is ready. I don't look at people any way or another by how many people they have/have not slept with. Its just another aspect - potentially awesone - in relationships between men and women.

Thanks for all the disussion on this - I find everyone on Greekchat to be intelligent with strong opinions and wise and witty things to say!!

HeidiHo
11-16-2001, 12:35 AM
Originally posted by James
but I can't help but think that it doesn't get much more intimate than going down on a girl . . . especially if I pack a lunch and stay for the day :cool:. I mean after that, we really kind of know eachother :).


That is too funny, where's the best quotes thread?

Amycat- at first when you said you're 30+ I thought you meant 30+ guys you've slept with... I'm a ditz

If you want to do it, do it. If not, who cares? I just worry about random hook-ups when the people have different expectations. It gets messy when the one thinks that last night was the beginning of a long term relationship & the other person doesn't want to see them ever again.
Heidi

SoCalGirl
11-16-2001, 03:40 AM
Originally posted by James
Some random thoughts on the subject . . .

We don't need to know that you have absoilutely no virgin territory left to explore, and that you have even done it on the church alter covered with sacramental wine and using all kinds of props:eek: Although if you have please send me the story by PM, I'd get a kick out of it;).

Look people, if it leads to orgasm . . . its sex. Although I will admit we have mystified the intimacy of intercourse . . . but I can't help but think that it doesn't get much more intimate than going down on a girl . . . especially if I pack a lunch and stay for the day :cool:. I mean after that, we really kind of know eachother :).

Lifesaver, you sound a little bitter man, was this one of the girls playing you as "that guy"?

Nice posts everybody :).

James-
I always love your posts. It's all true, but I swear I couldn't be more red right now!

Help me out here, did Lifesaver even post in this thread yet? I can find it! Why's he bitter? I've looked three times and still don't see it. :o


AlphaChiOhMy-
I'm in the same boat as you! No angel but definitely no "technical virgin" either.

There's way to much disease out there, plus I have way to many commitment issues. I swear I always end up treating guys like dirt or let them treat me like dirt. I have got to find a balance before I throw sex in the mess!

KSig RC
11-16-2001, 04:28 AM
Look, it's very simple . . .

From an evolutionary standpoint, we developed orgasms to make sex enjoyable, and therefore more accessible. These things are the pinnacle of pleasurable feeling - that's not a coincidence . . .

Why do we care about number of partners? It's the fantasy of being "the one" . . . especially men, but also women, want to be the only one. It almost never happens - let's be honest - but it's a fun fantasy. So why even worry about this sort of crap? It only demolishes fantasies, and proves counterproductive.

Here's a simple solution set to the problem:

1. If you desire sexual fulfillment on the intercourse level: HAVE SEX. DON'T TALK ABOUT IT WITH RANDOM PEOPLE IN PUBLIC PLACES. very easy - take care of you, and perhaps others at the same time.

2. If you desire a relationship, perhaps with sexual aspects to it - THINK ABOUT HAVING SEX. BE FAITHFUL - that's what you want, so do it. And don't bitch.

3. If you don't want to have sex - FINE. Maybe it's the right reasons, often it's the wrong reasons (fear, shyness, random feelings of superiority) . . . but either way, do your thing, and let others do the same.

4. If you want to have sex with anything that moves - GOOD JOB BUDDY, DO WHAT YOU WANT. It's your life - do jah thing. That's certainly allowed.

Seriously - this should be a non-issue . . . sex is only taboo b/c people would rather piss themselves than talk honestly about it, and thus expose themselves to potentially 'intimate' details.

Here's the deal - live your life, get laid (if you want to), have fun. Send me a PM if you want to talk further, but realistically - roll. Just roll. Sex is something so personal, it's nearly public - but it's only an issue b/c we make it one. So don't make it one - just like smoking; do it, don't do it, I don't care at all. Just be prepared to defend your stance either way.

LeslieAGD
11-16-2001, 10:00 AM
Originally posted by alphachiohmy

I don't see sex as an easy decision. It's not as if I could say, "H'mm what do I want for lunch today: Chicken or Sex?"


LMAO...ha! :D

amycat412
11-16-2001, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by James


...You women sell each other out all the time. I have never met a women with a rep that wasn't given to them by other women first.

Note: The greatest turn on the world is a woman totally comfie with her sexuality (cause she can really enjoy herself), and I don't think I would ever stay involved with a woman uptight about her sexuality, way boring, and too many future problems.

. . . but I can't help but think that it doesn't get much more intimate than going down on a girl . . .



James-
Great post, esp the parts I quoted above. I could not agree with you more!
Amy

James
11-16-2001, 02:05 PM
SoCalGirl, what experience did I memory trigger that you turned red in the face? Inquiring minds want to know ;) .

I stand corrected, it was SigmChiCard that made the statements I chose to interept as slightly bitter and condescending, I have corrected my post to reflect that.

Committment issues are not really issues unless they keep you from enjoying life. I wouldn't worry too much about the shoulds of relationships . . . to easy to think badly of yourself. Although, if you are getting guys that treat you badly, I would ask you a question: Do you go out of your way to ask men out? Or do you wait to be asked? Because if you wait to be asked you are at the mercy of what comes your way.

As far as disease goes, its a crapshoot with the odds very much in your favor, especially with a condom.


Originally posted by SoCalGirl


James-
I always love your posts. It's all true, but I swear I couldn't be more red right now!

Help me out here, did Lifesaver even post in this thread yet? I can find it! Why's he bitter? I've looked three times and still don't see it. :o


AlphaChiOhMy-
I'm in the same boat as you! No angel but definitely no "technical virgin" either.

There's way to much disease out there, plus I have way to many commitment issues. I swear I always end up treating guys like dirt or let them treat me like dirt. I have got to find a balance before I throw sex in the mess!

shultzz
11-16-2001, 03:48 PM
Originally posted by SH80er
A guy has to slide a ring on my finger, before he lays me!



Who believes that?

lifesaver
11-16-2001, 08:45 PM
I was avoiding this thread outta embarassment. I think the virginity thing is cool. I didnt take my junk outta the wrapper till I was 23, :eek: because I wasnt emotionally ready to deal with it until then.

<lifesaver takes a moment to tell the really embarassing story of how he always thought his first time would be; sensitive and special and meaningful and NOT the drunken spankfest on a balcony overlooking Burbon Street in New Orleans during MardiGras with a 42 year old what I think was a hooker who took my watch freakshow that it was. At least the shot of Cipro took care of the gift SHE gave me.>

Just kidding folks. She didnt take my watch. ;)

Dejajeva
11-16-2001, 08:56 PM
hahahah

You rock

DeltAlum
11-16-2001, 09:18 PM
I'm sorry in advance that this post will be just a tad crude...

So, I'm sitting here after a very long mentally taxing day, reading this thread.

Now, the older I get, the more I question my wisdom. I used to be right almost all the time...now, I'm not quite so self confident.

Well, because of my concern about saying things that are worthwhile, I haven't been posting as much lately -- and I've been reading other posts more carefully before commenting.

But, as I read this thread, and my eyes started to glaze over I just misread part of DeltaBetaBaby's post (see above), and I damned near fell off my chair. In the terms of the day ROTFLMAO.

To wit:

"If it looks like a dick..." etc.

Back to my nap.

Miami1839
11-16-2001, 11:40 PM
She sure does :)


Originally posted by valkyrie
Amycat, you rock!

SH80er
11-17-2001, 12:18 AM
Originally posted by shultzz




Who believes that?

Welcome back. :rolleyes:

justamom
11-17-2001, 08:47 AM
I too avoided this thread as I have all KINDS of opinions on this subject. James, your post is perhaps one of the most honest assesments I've read-KSig-RC, I liked yours as well.

Sometimes it seems like "virginity" is a dirty word or at the least, laughable on GC. In fact, sometimes it sounds like a few of the posters believe they invented sex!
The only thing I would like to add is- experiencing sexual intimacy at such a young age can really be damaging. The body is physically ready, but is the individual mentally prepared? Everything is out of sync. We are physically developing at a younger age, but living longer. On a biological plane, that's a lot of years an individual can be sexually active.(No smart remarks...) When your living in your Mommy's home, and she's feeding you washing your clothes OR when you're away at college and drifting from major to major/bar to bar on your parent's dime, how mature is that? Most come out of it unscathed with geat stories perhaps even their spouse. Others don't fare as well and carry their sexual baggage with them the rest of their lives. Virginity is a "gift" you can only give once-(men and women) I only hope for all, it would be meaningful. I know mine was.

James
08-01-2005, 11:16 PM
This was a fun thread.

33girl
08-01-2005, 11:26 PM
Gee thanks James.

All I can say is, NEVER NEVER NEVER tell the person you're dating or whatevering with how many people you've slept with previously, unless the answer is none and you need them to know that because you're a little scared (which is normal).

One of my college friends was quite the Casanova and married a girl who was somewhat intrigued by this. She bugged him and bugged him to tell her details and then when he did, she got upset and turned it around on him and blah blah blah. It's like she thought it would give her a feeling of power - look, all these girls and I GOT HIM - but it worked out exactly the opposite. The past is the past. Everyone deals with it differently. I know girls who are more screwed up from sleeping with one guy than girls who have slept with dozens, and for guys I'm sure it's the same.