Action on the front lines

[Lil_G]

The enemy:

http://eatabagbuddy.50megs.com/new.jpg

...Our biological weapon of attack: antifreeze.
...weapon's application: dispersed around defence's perimeter (garbage bags)
...weapon effectivness: none.
...causalities: one (roommate).
...severity of attack: injured limb.
...counter attack: increased usage of biological warfare within perimeter...

...evidently the raccons have figured out how to avoid the anti-freeze, so against all logic my landlord took my advice and is preparing to spray the garbage itself within the bags.
showmenship mes amie, with this i'm going out on top - goodbye (greatest gc user of all time)....

[Lil_G]

Counter Attack!

http://eatabagbuddy.50megs.com/new2.jpg

the missiles (box laying on ground) was unsuccessful, however since the increased use of bio warfare the enemy has seem to be eliminated.

[The1calledTKE]

Smart and brave. Most animals would run before you could take a picture.

[greeklawgirl]

...may I suggest checking out www.flemingfarmsupply.com/traps.htm. They have humane traps for chipmunks, racoons and...dare I say it?...squirrels. Those should ensure a happy solution for all involved.

[Lil_G]

i don't think they're brave, they probably think we love them....hell if i was getting free smorgesborg everyday by a restuarant i'd be in love with them too...

[damasa]

Originally posted by greeklawgirl
humane

This is war between man and raccoon...only the strong survive.

At this point, humane has been thrown out the window....

that little bugger is lucky..I would have kung-fu styled his booty on the stairs...lol

d

[Lil_G]

that's right d...little exercise couldn't hurt that fat bastard

[damasa]

Originally posted by Lil_G


showmenship mes amie, with this i'm going out on top - goodbye (greatest gc user of all time)....

Now this I must agree with! It is the truth and you shall be missed dood!

d

[Wine&Blue]

Here's a thought. Brace yourself, I know it's radical, but desperate times call for desperate measures... GARBAGE CANS! You know the kind with a lid that fastens. I really don't see the point of killing a racoon for doing what a racoon does, which is going for the easy target. If I were a racoon, or other scavenging animal, and saw your garbage just sitting in an easily tearable bag, I'd be there in a second with my little racoon teeth tearing away. Killing them may make these particular guys go away, but don't you think there are others waiting in the wings to take over?

[Lil_G]

Originally posted by Wine&Blue
Here's a thought. Brace yourself, I know it's radical, but desperate times call for desperate measures... GARBAGE CANS! You know the kind with a lid that fastens. I really don't see the point of killing a racoon for doing what a racoon does, which is going for the easy target. If I were a racoon, or other scavenging animal, and saw your garbage just sitting in an easily tearable bag, I'd be there in a second with my little racoon teeth tearing away. Killing them may make these particular guys go away, but don't you think there are others waiting in the wings to take over?

...what a stupid comment....no i only leave the garbage in bags...
the cans are all chewed up, and if they weren't, the rodents would somehow find a way to open them.
...actually sometimes i open the bags for the raccons and spread the garbage all over the porch so they would have to risk hurting their little paws opening the bags...

[KABillyMac]

Lil G, good lookin boar and sow coon you got there.

I have been coon hunting all my life. Got my first dog when I was 8 (McGinnis Tree Jammin Hanah), and have been hunting ever since. There aint much to do in the mountains of ky where I grew up, farm by day, coon hunt by night. I might be greek and I might be a college student, but that dont mean that I aint country.

Antifreeze is a logical solution. Until one night you cant sleep because of the high pitch screaming of one of those coons, or a cat, or a dog, that is getting its stomach eaten from the inside out Antifreeze is a horrible death for anything. The only thing that deserves that is Bin Laden. Now dont take me for some flaming liberal tree hugger, I aint that way. But im gonna try to help you and give that big boar coon a break (at least until i can get there with the dogs)

Go to your local feed store and get yourself a 50 lb. back of shelled corn. (Tell em BillyMac sent you) Put the bag of corn on the back deck, open, and let the coons find it. They will be in seventh heaven. If theres one thing a coon wont pass up its corn, Ann Howe. Once you have your area baited. You and your friends go to your local wal mart and purchase the following items:

1. Brinkman 1,000,000 candle power spotlight.
2. Some sort of repeating B B guns One for each of your friends.
3. Enough cheap beer to get a household of your buddies drunk.

Get smashed out of your minds. Strategically place yourself and your buddies in the windows of your apartment. (safety message inserted here) Give yourself good shooting lanes, make sure you wont hit any cars, people, or anything of value. Have one of your buddies man the light. When you know the coons have their fat asses in the feed sack, signal your buddy with the light to shine it on one. Then simotaniously you and your friends open fire on em. THis will be great fun for you and your friends, and a couple nights of it should solve your coon problems. Another good tip is to go to your local hardware store and buy a roll of tin. Wrap a piece of tin around all of the trees within gunshot of your house. This way when you open fire on them, the little buggers cant climb the trees to get away. This will give you a few more shots and will also push the coons farther away from your house, and possibly cut a boar and a sow away from their den.

Placeing lids on your trash cans will buy you some time too. Not that its gonna keep em out, but they will now have to take the time to open the cans. Coons are smart. I know a coon at our restaurant that comes on the deck everynight and drinks from the coke fountain. He knows how to work it and everything. They aint no dummies. Coons in town is caused by lack of suitable habitat (flowing water, hardwoods) and human food is the food of choice for them.

Keep the recipts to the light and the guns, and take em back when your done. Be sure to buy repeating b b guns so you can get as many shots as possible. The spotlight will need a 12 v power source also. Take a battery off your car for that.

Lifesaver, if this dont work we gonna have to go get the coons.

[Wine&Blue]

Originally posted by Lil_G


...what a stupid comment....no i only leave the garbage in bags...
the cans are all chewed up, and if they weren't, the rodents would somehow find a way to open them.
...actually sometimes i open the bags for the raccons and spread the garbage all over the porch so they would have to risk hurting their little paws opening the bags...

Excuse me. Touchy much? Grow up.

And you are absolutely right. Suggesting something as silly as a garbage can is an incredibly stupid comment. What ever was I thinking. :rolleyes:

[SigmaChiCard]

Here's a thought. Brace yourself, I know it's radical, but desperate times call for desperate measures... GARBAGE CANS! You know the kind with a lid that fastens. I really don't see the point of killing a racoon for doing what a racoon does, which is going for the easy target. If I were a racoon, or other scavenging animal, and saw your garbage just sitting in an easily tearable bag, I'd be there in a second with my little racoon teeth tearing away. Killing them may make these particular guys go away, but don't you think there are others waiting in the wings to take over?


Why is it that reading this particular post really made me ponder our war tactics. I know the afghanians have said it before, but put this way, with racoons, I see it in a much clearer light.

[Wine&Blue]

I'm not sure Sigma since I in no way was thinking about Afghanistan when I wrote it. I was thinking how cruel it is to feed antifreeze to an animal. But nice call, comparing a racoon to Osama Bin Laden. When did this board get so sensitive?

[damasa]

Originally posted by SigmaChiCard



Why is it that reading this particular post really made me ponder our war tactics. I know the afghanians have said it before, but put this way, with racoons, I see it in a much clearer light.

Well, I'm not sure which way this post is bent towards but it's like this.
First, The U.S. isn't attacking the afghani ppl, we are attacking the Taliban regime, a radical regime using religion
to try to gain support for their "holy war". To that end, we aren't attacking Islamic nations either..it's the Tailban radical movement. They've been warned before, they didn't listen. Will innocent civilians be killed..sadly yes, but the U.S. is serioulsy trying to minimize those casualties. Look at it like this, the Taliban are the ones that are setting up and using their civilians in war. They are placing men and artillery in villages because they know that the U.S. won't attack them. SOOO they are using these villagers to set an offensive against the u.s...an ambush kind of thing...that's them, not us.

Now on to the raccoons..it's called over-population and population control. Trapping them would probably the humane thing to do, but like it was stated before, "there will be more to take the place of those." Even if they are trapped, more will take their place, because raccoons are everywhere...it's all about population control....

d

[SigmaChiCard]

d
was that agreeing, or disagreeing with what I said? I couldn't really tell.

[damasa]

hhah..I don't know....I'm not sure what your first post meant. I don't know if it was in favor or against the raccoon.
I guess I was expressing my point....

d

[SigmaChiCard]

Wine&Blue was kind of saying that Lil_G needs a more permanent solution that just the temporary killing of a couple of the racoons. The whole time I was reading that, with the state of affairs everpresent in my mind, I immeadiately saw how, yeah, that's what America needs to do. And then she said when you kill one, another appears, which seems to be the general theory that if we just blow up some of Afghanistan, and kill Osama, then the next highest order official in the Taliban regime would step in and take Osama's place. I mean, I've always realized that would happen ever since the Afghan people began saying it, but the parallel between that and the racoons just clarified it on a new, unique level for me. See what I'm saying now?

[KSig RC]

Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
Wine&Blue was kind of saying that Lil_G needs a more permanent solution that just the temporary killing of a couple of the racoons. The whole time I was reading that, with the state of affairs everpresent in my mind, I immeadiately saw how, yeah, that's what America needs to do. And then she said when you kill one, another appears, which seems to be the general theory that if we just blow up some of Afghanistan, and kill Osama, then the next highest order official in the Taliban regime would step in and take Osama's place. I mean, I've always realized that would happen ever since the Afghan people began saying it, but the parallel between that and the racoons just clarified it on a new, unique level for me. See what I'm saying now?

Interesting point - i don't think the concept is extensible to this level, but i'll play along for the sake of discussion, b/c it is interesting after all.

The problem - there's not an infinite number of raccoons . . . there's a finite supply of them. So realistically it is definitely possible to exhaust the supply, and keep the garbage from being spread over the yard (so to speak).

The problem with the problem - do we really want to take out that many raccoons? Is there a better solution? Have we exhausted our options through other bad decisions, so as to make diplomacy with the furry little things impossible?

It's easy to say "Buy a trashcan" - Lil_G's point was that the trashcan solution doesn't work either. There's a way to solve every sort of containment dilemma for the raccoons - they're very resourceful, and smarter than we give them credit for.

So what's the solution?

Well, there's eradication of the raccoons, or at least lowering numbers until they become benign. But this is basically inhumane, depending on your particular set of subjective values.

There's also prevention - keeping the raccoons from stirring up the garbage. This has proven unsuccessful for eons, and no good 100% solution exists. Appeasement would be the only way - literally giving them the garbage they desire - and this is a weak solution from the standpoint of the more powerful force in the situation (ie the guys putting out the garbage), and is probably impossible due to previous commitments. However - it is humane, by nearly every values system.

I don't really see any "middle-of-the-road" example as being applicable or worthwhile - so realistically, those are the options . . .

As you can see, the raccoon problem is difficult . . . and if you want to extend it to the next level, as Cory seems apt to relate to, the problem exacerbates itself because the "humanity" element becomes more prevalent.

Sometimes, you eat the bar - and sometimes the bar eats you (as they say in The Big Lebowski)

[damasa]

Originally posted by SigmaChiCard
Wine&Blue was kind of saying that Lil_G needs a more permanent solution that just the temporary killing of a couple of the racoons. The whole time I was reading that, with the state of affairs everpresent in my mind, I immeadiately saw how, yeah, that's what America needs to do. And then she said when you kill one, another appears, which seems to be the general theory that if we just blow up some of Afghanistan, and kill Osama, then the next highest order official in the Taliban regime would step in and take Osama's place. I mean, I've always realized that would happen ever since the Afghan people began saying it, but the parallel between that and the racoons just clarified it on a new, unique level for me. See what I'm saying now?

Ok....I understand what your saying, but I just look at it a little differently. Granted, if Bin Laden is taken out, another could take his place, but that might not be easy. Bin Laden holds the place he does because of the money he has. Take away the money, take away the leader, take away the power, the morale of the followers dies. Yes, they could regain themselves with a new leader, but it might take some time.

I look at it like this, they keep showing Bin Laden on almost every news channel you watch, being quoted with saying things such as, "the Americans will experience things worse than the WTT bombings," and things similar. Now, this scares the shit out of me, and it kind of puts our country in gridlock. What do we do? Leave Bin Laden be and risk being attacked like that again? Which I would be willing to be he will try. Or, do we take him and his followers out and risk a new regime taking his place? It's a double edged sword...

d

[SigmaChiCard]

d
I've been enlightened by you. Stall with the use of immeadiate resolve (Lil_G, shoot the damn things with KA's methods) which gives you plenty of time to sift through more ideas of permanent resolve. Don't live in fear of Osama rat laden, dispose of him, and while the others are reorganizing a claim to power, make a permanent solution, what that is...hmmm, not sure. I won't say new, or better trashcans, but see if there is anything about the process you can change, not take whatever it is they like to actually get into out until garbage day?

[KABillyMac]

Corey, I guess I had you pegged for the tree hugging liberal hippie pretty boy type. Maybe your not all that feminine after all. Anybody who is with us on coon eradication might really not be all that bad.

[Lil_G]

Wine and Blue - i'm not touchy at all, but when someone suggests the most obvious answer of putting it in a can with great sarcaism obviously i'm gonna react harshly.

BillyMac - ....suggestions, duly noted....the talk of amunition has been brought up before....good buddy is willing to drive up the trip to gun 'em down with his paint ball gun....would that work as well, or is it too inhumane?

....one more point, because of certain restrictions to garbage laws in this city, we're not allowed to take out the trash until 6 p.m. the night before. Considering the garbage comes at 6.am. there's not a lot of time to put it out, but of course in that short time span they manage to chew it up nicely.

[moe.ron]

My sisters and brothers, we have faced a new enemy. An enemy that has looked at us and not fear us. If they want hell, by god we'll give them hell. We will look at them and show them what fear is. They said there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Well Raccoon, you have just met fear and you better recognized. We'll open a can of whoop ass on your ass and give you a beating Jerry Springer style.

[Lil_G]

Originally posted by Arya
My sisters and brothers, we have faced a new enemy. An enemy that has looked at us and not fear us. If they want hell, by god we'll give them hell. We will look at them and show them what fear is. They said there is nothing to fear but fear itself. Well Raccoon, you have just met fear and you better recognized. We'll open a can of whoop ass on your ass and give you a beating Jerry Springer style.

...ah great idea, arya's done it again - what we need is some kind of predator that eats raccons...i've seen some pretty big owls in my day, maybe i could get some of them to take out those bastards.

[KABillyMac]

The more I think about it, the more I think that a paintball gun would better suit your needs. I dont know much about paintball guns (except it hurts like hell if you get shot by one) other than they shoot somewhere in the neighborhood of 200 feet per second, and the paint balls themselves are maliable, so no, they will not kill the coons. Marking them could be a good idea they. If you shoot the coon and he has paint all over him, it will let you know which coons keep coming back, or how many new coons are coming in. Course then again some little old lady might see a big coon with an neon green ass walking around outside one night and call the police thinking the terroists have now struck our coon population with some sort of radioactive waste making all coons neon green. Hey, it might be good for a laugh.

The important thing here is the corn and the light. The corn is sure bait (since your garbage now tastes like antifreeze to them) and the light to blind them. Gotta have that light........

And the beer. Dont forget the beer.

[SigmaChiCard]

Maybe your not all that feminine after all.
Hmm, thanks bro. I appreciate the compliment...

[Lil_G]

...now that i think about it....our backyard opens up right below the flat part of the roof...we can be camped there with lots of ammo and have the trap setup just below...it'd wouldn't be any easier than that, shooting ducks in a barrel

[lifesaver]

Again, dont forget the beer. You sure as hell dont want to be up there relying on conversation to pass the time. Flat roof - good idea, its as close as you urban kids are gonna come to a deer blind. Paintball gun works too. Like it, like it. consider it sort of a "tagging/population research study" They do it to animals all the time and I'd rather be painted than have a huge ass tag in my ear.

Item 2, NO to the trash can issue. That is simple appeasement. didnt work for Nevile Chamberlain in 1939 england, and its not gonna work here. Eradication is the only answer. If not, you give them the trash, and next thing they will do is demand access to sraps from the table, amass 'coons along your front door, annex your kitchen, and say they were doing it just so that the rest of the food could be with its like outside. Finally, after they declare a non-agression pact with your neighbors, they will attack them too and invade them pushing their forces all the way back to Coongrad. Listen to me well, appeasement NEVER WORKS. You must destroy them, or after its all over, your sorry butt will be relying on your kindly neighbors to support you in your rebuilding efforts, in some sort of a George Marshallesque "Little_G Plan."

That or go to the pound and adopt a hound to keep in the backyard. Plus, Hounds are cool.

If that doesn't work, I'll stop by, pick up Billy Mac, and we'll be on our way...

[Thrillhouse]

So did anything ever come out of this situation? Those squirrels can be pretty pesky. I trust you bought a case of molson XXX and got rid of those darn things as well as those racoons.