Nervous PNAM.

[Artemis6]

I joined a local sorority when I was in college. It had a positive impact, but the sands of time seem to have made everyone drift apart. Should I cross paths with any of these women again, they would be considered a sister always.

Years have passed. I am thirty. I am happily married housewife that spends half the year in Canada and half the year in the United States. However, I still wish for an active sisterhood. I have spent time reading different GLO websites and I keep going back to one that I really wish to be part of.

So, I wrote an email on December 12th and sent it. Problem is, now I am nervous. My letters sometimes come across as 'robotic.' I am in Canada for half the year, and there is -no- Collegiate or Alumnae chapters in this area. I am in the US for only half the year and there is one Alumnae chapter and two Collegiate chapters within one hour of me.

I read the 'NPC Alumnae Intiation - Read This First' post by PenguinTrax. After reading it I made sure to think on:

"Why didn’t you join in college?"
"Why do I want to be an AI (especially if you have no prior ties to an organization)?"
"What can I contribute to an NPC org?"

If the GLO I wrote the email to asked me to write an essay on each question, I could do it with ease.

I have read a lot on these forums and I am thinking my email to the GLO might have sounded two businesslike. I am at the point where I just need to take a deep breath and be patient. *breathes*

[KSUViolet06]

My advice: Relax. Read everything you can on this site about Alumna Initiation. Including the AI stories from women who have pursued the process. It is a long process, and not something that is instantaneous or easy. I also make it a point to tell women who are pursuing a sorority to AVOID constant contacting or emailing. Don't be alarmed if you don't get a response from a group right away, as sororities are very busy organizations.

Also understand that becoming an AI is an honor, and as such is not something that is guaranteed. There are situations in which women contact a sorority, express interest, but are not asked to join. I just think it's good for women to know this starting out.

Some more advice: I would also suggest exercising some discretion on the internet. Not saying that you have been indiscrete thus far, but I wouldn't give out any info about the sorority you contacted, school you went to, etc. Just a general rule of thumb.

[Artemis6]

My advice: Relax. Read everything you can on this site about Alumna Initiation. Including the AI stories from women who have pursued the process. It is a long process, and not something that is instantaneous or easy. Don't be alarmed if you don't get a response from a group right away.

Some more advice: I would also suggest exercising some discretion on the internet. Not saying that you have been indiscrete thus far, but I wouldn't give out any info about the sorority you contacted, school you went to, etc. Just a general rule of thumb.


Thank you for your reply. I have been telling myself to relax and I find that by writing it out has helped release some energy. Discovering this, I intend to get a notebook tomorrow and write things. I understand it is not a quick process. True friendship and sisterhood does not form instantly. It is different than making an acquaintance.

I have been reading GreekChat and plan to continue reading. I intended to keep the name of the sorority secret, but I appreciate your warning. I have refrained from even mentioning the local sorority because I know how easy it is to use a search engine.

[KSUViolet06]

Thank you for your reply. I have been telling myself to relax and I find that by writing it out has helped release some energy. Discovering this, I intend to get a notebook tomorrow and write things. I understand it is not a quick process. True friendship and sisterhood does not form instantly. It is different than making an acquaintance.



Right. I just like to make sure that women are realistic about the process. Generally, AI is the exception, not the rule. 99% of the women who join NPC sororities do so during college, not after graduating. AI is not something that occurs very frequently. I like to make sure that women understand that contacting a sorority does not mean they are going to be asked to become a member. It's good to have that in mind and be prepared for any outcome.

[AlwaysSAI]

Also Artimes,

I don't know what local you were in, but you might try to find out if they have affiliated with an NPC. If they have and ONLY IF THEY HAVE you could become a candidate for AI into the NPC your local affiliated with.

[KSUViolet06]

Also Artimes,

I don't know what local you were in, but you might try to find out if they have affiliated with an NPC. If they have and ONLY IF THEY HAVE you become an automatic candidate for AI into the NPC your local affiliated with.

I know you're trying to be helpful, but I'd be careful about making blanket statements like this. This is not true of all NPC sororities. Not every NPC does this.

[Artemis6]

Right. I just like to make sure that women are realistic about the process. Generally, AI is the exception, not the rule. 99% of the women who join NPC sororities do so during college, not after graduating. AI is not something that occurs very frequently. I like to make sure that women understand that contacting a sorority does not mean they are going to be asked to become a member. It's good to have that in mind and be prepared for any outcome.



I already know that just because I want in, does not mean they will want me. It is something I am nervous about. However, I cannot allow that to prevent me from trying. I believe I am a good person who has a lot of offer to any group. And, if I do not know something I am willing to admit it and try to learn.

Do you have a suggestion on how long to wait before contacting again? I was thinking of waiting a month and if no reply comes, to try to think on how to attempt contact again. They must be very busy, and also it is the holidays. I am guessing that it is possible my email might not get noticed until after New Year's.



Also Artimes,

I don't know what local you were in, but you might try to find out if they have affiliated with an NPC. If they have and ONLY IF THEY HAVE you become an automatic candidate for AI into the NPC your local affiliated with.

My local has not joined an NPC. Years ago we looked into different NPC's for that possibility. Due to a small campus, we could not form a large enough group to apply to be a colony/chapter. Also, not all the members were comfortable with the idea and so, it was not explored further.

[KSUViolet06]

Do you have a suggestion on how long to wait before contacting again? I was thinking of waiting a month and if no reply comes, to try to think on how to attempt contact again. They must be very busy, and also it is the holidays. I am guessing that it is possible my email might not get noticed until after New Year's.



I wouldn't expect to hear anything until after the New Year, since most people are out of the office until then.

There's no "standard" amount of time, but I will say to use your better judegement and avoid flooding people's inboxes with emails. You don't want to annoy people.

[Artemis6]

I wouldn't expect to hear anything until after the New Year, since most people are out of the office until then.

There's no "standard" amount of time, but I will say to use your better judegement and avoid flooding people's inboxes with emails. You don't want to annoy people.

Yeah, it would annoy me if someone filled my inbox with a bunch of messages. I do not want to be like the character in the movies that calls someone, leaves a message on a voice mail and keeps calling because their previous message was cut off. It might be humorous in film, but in reality it would just be a nuisance.

I am going to wait -at least- one month. When I sent the email I sent it to specific.person@GLO.com. I had wondered if I should have sent it to general.website@GLO.com. However with the specific.person, if they were the incorrect person to contact, hopefully they would forward my message along.

[33girl]

I have a better idea. Get your butt on Facebook and try to renew contact with your sisters from your local. Trust me, doing this will be much more rewarding than going through the often lengthy AI process to be part of an alumnae chapter for 6 months out of the year (and depending on the alum chapter, they may only have 1 or 2 meetings during that time).

[MaggieXi]

I also just wanted to mention that many GLOs start gearing up for spring recruitment in January, I would think. You may not hear back from them until after spring recruitment for the collegiate chapters are complete.

[ThetaDancer]

I'm not trying to discourage you at all, but I just want to present a few pieces of information. First, as others have said, with holidays and spring recruitment coming up, I'd be prepared to wait over 1 month, especially if you have *no* connection within the organization.

Something you may also want to consider is that many alum chapters have only a handful of meetings/events per year and some (mine, for example) are extremely quiet during the summer. As 33girl pointed out, depending on the time of year you plan on spending in the U.S., the alum chapter may have very limited activities.

I'd also like to point out that there are community, non-collegiate social sororities in case you are looking into other options that may better meet your needs. Additionally, re-connecting with your sisters from your local may be something to look into.

[Artemis6]

I have a better idea. Get your butt on Facebook and try to renew contact with your sisters from your local. Trust me, doing this will be much more rewarding than going through the often lengthy AI process to be part of an alumnae chapter for 6 months out of the year (and depending on the alum chapter, they may only have 1 or 2 meetings during that time).

I have already attempted to remain in contact with my local via social websites. I am still hopeful that someday in the future it will be more than just a 'add as virtual friend' and be able to plan events. However, this has not dimmed my interest in seeking out an NPC GLO. Also, I am not putting my life on hold as I hope to join another GLO. I still travel, keep up with my hobbies and enjoy giving back to the community.. with or without sisters by my side.

I appreciate that you have taken time to give me advice and it has reminded me that I could and should continue my efforts to reconnect with my local.

I also just wanted to mention that many GLOs start gearing up for spring recruitment in January, I would think. You may not hear back from them until after spring recruitment for the collegiate chapters are complete.

Thank you for replying. After reading your reply I can see how it may take even longer to receive any contact. Thankfully I am not as nervous as when I first posted. I am a calm and hopeful PNAM.


I'm not trying to discourage you at all, but I just want to present a few pieces of information. First, as others have said, with holidays and spring recruitment coming up, I'd be prepared to wait over 1 month, especially if you have *no* connection within the organization.

Something you may also want to consider is that many alum chapters have only a handful of meetings/events per year and some (mine, for example) are extremely quiet during the summer. As 33girl pointed out, depending on the time of year you plan on spending in the U.S., the alum chapter may have very limited activities.

I'd also like to point out that there are community, non-collegiate social sororities in case you are looking into other options that may better meet your needs. Additionally, re-connecting with your sisters from your local may be something to look into.

I have already replied to some of the things mentioned in your reply. However, I thank you for the time you took to type up a response. In regard to only being in the US for half the year, I know it may cause complications. One of my dreams is to get settled someplace in the US, but it will take a few years. In the meantime, I think much can be done through correspondence while I am away.


Overall, I understand that an AI is not a guarantee. I understand that even if I am considered.. it will take time. If it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not meant to be, then at least I know I tried.

[nittanyalum]

my interest in seeking out an NPC GLO
Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

[Unregistered-]

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

I'm pretty sure it was born on GC when sorority shopping suddenly became the thing to do.

AFAIK, it's not an NPC thing since AI policies vary from organization to organization.

[KSUViolet06]

Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

PNAM=term made up by GCers. Not a recognized NPC term (because not all NPC sororities do AI).

As far as being confused over adult women pursuing NPC membership, welcome to GC. The AI forum created somewhat of a "market" for AI that didn't exist before. Many people who are NPC sorority alumnae themselves hadn't even heard of it until they came here.

[navane]

I'm pretty sure it was born on GC when sorority shopping suddenly became the thing to do.

AFAIK, it's not an NPC thing since AI policies vary from organization to organization.


You're right, it was invented on GC; though, it was coined well prior to the "sorority shopping surge". I recall the term being in use prior to 2003. One of the GC regulars at the time came up with it to be cute; but, because people used "PNM" interchangeably with 18 year old freshmen and 40 year old professionals, it was also meant to help people distinguish between the two.

.....Kelly :)

[navane]

In regard to only being in the US for half the year, I know it may cause complications. One of my dreams is to get settled someplace in the US, but it will take a few years.

I have to agree with the others in that this would be an awkward arrangement. The alumnae chapter may not "get" why you're trying to join the sorority when you're admittedly not going to be around to contribute and will be unable to contribute while in Canada (you said there was no chapter there, right?).

If the half of the year you're in the US happens to be the summer, you may not get to participate at all as many alumnae groups break for the summer. In my chapter we basically have one event, a July luncheon, and that's about it.

You may have to wait a while until you get settled back in the US permanently and, even then, this may not be the opportunity for you.

.....Kelly :)

[33girl]

I have already attempted to remain in contact with my local via social websites. I am still hopeful that someday in the future it will be more than just a 'add as virtual friend' and be able to plan events. However, this has not dimmed my interest in seeking out an NPC GLO.

I'm sure that would make your sisters feel great.

SRSLY, this reminds me of the whole Gamma Chi debacle and more than one (like 150) people pointing out that if you were putting as much time into your current GLO as you were into Gamma Chi you'd all be BFFs like in college and have raised $10,000 for your philanthropy.

Sorry for breaking the Bloody Mary/Gamma Chi rule guys.

[ThetaPrincess24]

I have already attempted to remain in contact with my local via social websites. I am still hopeful that someday in the future it will be more than just a 'add as virtual friend' and be able to plan events.





You can still plan events via facebook or other networking websites with your sisters from your local. You can plan a reunion event at your school's homecoming, or plan for people to gather in a city for a fun weekend somewhere and catch up. Just make sure that it is planned well in advance because people have jobs and kids and time is needed to make arrangements (as in 6 months to a year ahead of time).

[33girl]

Why? Why not? Why does it bother you so much nittany?

Chris, why don't you sponsor the OP for AI into ZTA?

[Grad Girl 08]

Why why why why why??? Seriously, this is the thing that has struck me as the oddest since I joined GC. I had no idea there were people who "pursued" sorority membership POST-college years. You're a grown woman with your whole life and whole world open to you, what, exactly, about this is "the piece" that's missing? There are plenty of other social and service options out there for you to join, why this reach-back to something whose time has passed for you? Sorry, I just don't. get. it.

And I hate the term "PNAM". Is that a real thing recognized by the NPC? If not, who made it up and why?

/rant

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

[KSUViolet06]

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

Welcome to GC. If you have an interest in pursuing NPC sorority membership at this level, I'm going to suggest that you read as much as you can on the topic of AI before posting.

"Why didn't you join in college?" is likely something you'll be asked at some point, so it's a valid question.

Also, in some NPCs, grad students are not eligible to be considered as Alumna Initiates.

[Grad Girl 08]

I know and thank you for the warm welcome. :D I know to expect a long process and I think I've narrowed it down to three. Two that are on my campus and one that isn't. Two of our four sisterhoods don't allow grad students and I completely understand that! I've meet girls from all the chapters and think we have some of the sweetest greek girls in the world on our campus! After meeting the girls I went the main websites and found out who allowed AI's and who didn't. After that I started researching other sisterhoods who allowed AI and found a third one that I liked their standards and what they stand for. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to go about I guess it would be called rushing? even though I'm not a undergrad. I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.

[Xidelt]

*places popcorn in microwave*

[Unregistered-]

I know and thank you for the warm welcome. :D I know to expect a long process and I think I've narrowed it down to three. Two that are on my campus and one that isn't. Two of our four sisterhoods don't allow grad students and I completely understand that! I've meet girls from all the chapters and think we have some of the sweetest greek girls in the world on our campus! After meeting the girls I went the main websites and found out who allowed AI's and who didn't. After that I started researching other sisterhoods who allowed AI and found a third one that I liked their standards and what they stand for. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to go about I guess it would be called rushing? even though I'm not a undergrad. I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.

I have so many issues with this post, but I'll refrain from telling you what I really feel.

Oh, and there is no rushing in Alumnae Initiation.

[KSUViolet06]

I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.[/FONT][/COLOR]

Every organization is different, but generally, AI involves alumna chapters only. Not collegians. Hence why it is beneficial to really read up and know what's going on.

Also, there's no "rushing" in AI.

Every sorority does things differently, there are some who would expect you to contact an alumna chapter on your own, while others don't want you to apprach them at all.

[Grad Girl 08]

I have so many issues with this post, but I'll refrain from telling you what I really feel.

Oh, and there is no rushing in Alumnae Initiation.

Have I offended you in some way? I'm sorry I didn't mean to. And thank you for the clarification, my apologies. But do feel free to express your opinion. It's important. You won't offend me. I know I’m unorthodox in my methods but I’ve never been one to go into anything blind. Most of the girls encouraged me. They think it’s important to be informed. I love the girls and whether I was to join or not they’ll still be my friends. But I’m sorry if you found something offensive in my methods.

[Grad Girl 08]

Every organization is different, but generally, AI involves alumna chapters only. Not collegians. Hence why it is beneficial to really read up and know what's going on.

Also, there's no "rushing" in AI.

Every sorority does things differently, there are some who would expect you to contact an alumna chapter on your own, while others don't want you to apprach them at all.



Thank you so much for your input! :D It helps so much! I've been slow on reading up on it because I get confused about certain things and I'll try to keep reading up. Thank you for your help!

[Grad Girl 08]

Point of information: If your friends in sororities are collegiate members, they will not be involved in any of your pursuits, because AI involves ALUMNA chapters/the national organization.

Some of them are. I do have friends who are Alum of sisterhoods but I don't talk to them about my intrest. I think that would be rude and put them on the spot and that's not fair to them.

[VandalSquirrel]

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

The life of an alumna is completely different to that of a collegian. I have a hard time believing you didn't have time as an undergraduate and now as a graduate student (who I hope has a life outside of school) you have time. Sorority membership for many was a sacrifice during the undergraduate years, and there are a bevy of women (and men) on this site who made it work time wise. I can think of women and men on my campus who worked and went to school, and since they wanted it bad enough made it work. Some of my sisters took five years for school, and managed their membership, an even in professional and graduate school show up for alumnae appropriate events.

There are plenty of other groups to get involved in, why an NPC sorority after graduation? To be blunt, the fact that you didn't try or make time as a student is a huge red flag to me, and for me, works against you.

[KSUViolet06]

Yeah alumna life is MUCH different than that of a collegiate member.

Something else to think about: whether you're looking for what you "missed out on in undergrad."

The events, expectations, and experiences of an alumna are not the same as a collegian, so be certain that this is the type of experience you're looking for.

For example, if you feel you missed out on living in a sorority house and going to mixers in undergrad, then NPC membership as an alumna may not be for you, just because that's not what alumnae do.

[kddani]

Have I offended you in some way? I'm sorry I didn't mean to. And thank you for the clarification, my apologies. But do feel free to express your opinion. It's important. You won't offend me. I know I’m unorthodox in my methods but I’ve never been one to go into anything blind. Most of the girls encouraged me. They think it’s important to be informed. I love the girls and whether I was to join or not they’ll still be my friends. But I’m sorry if you found something offensive in my methods.

If you read threads on here about Alumnae Initiation, you should understand.

I'll be blunt. A lot of GCers are taken aback, and I might even say offended, by PNAMs who "sorority shop". Many of us feel that sorority membership is a privilege, not a right. The general reason for people not liking sorority shopping is that many of us (myself included), feel that an AI should have a personal connection to the sorority that they're seeking membership in. As opposed to looking to see what groups do AI and going from there.

The main membership source for NPC sororities is collegiate recruitment. That's the lifeblood. Many of us feel that AI should be used to honor people who have made a special commitment/relationship to the sorority.

I could probably go on for awhile, but if you read threads on here (look for ones from several years ago when it really got hotly debated) you'll get the idea.

I'll also ditto that becoming an AI is MUCH MUCH MUCH different that being in the group as a collegian. You are not a member of the collegiate chapter. You are not invited to their events (except for alumnae focused events). You do not do the things that the chapter does. At all. Again, your membership will have little to nothing to do with the collegiates.

You're also likely to run into these feelings from people in real life as well, so if you're going to go about this the way that you seem to want to, you should be prepared for that.

[KSUViolet06]

Some perspective on the issue:

Alumna Initiation is the EXCEPTION and not the rule when it comes to joining an NPC org. Pretty much everyone who joins one, does so in undergrad (like 99.9%). AI is for those women whom the organization feels have so much potential to contribute to the sorority (or in so many ways have already done so), that they should make an EXCEPTION to the normal mode of joining the sorority, and invite her to join at this stage in her life.

I think that being on GC kind of makes people think that being an AI is more common than in it is.

So it's considered offensive to some when people come here talking about "pursuing AI" because really, that's not how they feel it's supposed to be. Some people feel as though if a woman is a good candidate for such an honor, then the sorority should be reaching out to THEM. Not the other way around with women contacting the sorority and ASKING about it.

To be honest, there are alumnae chapters who will probably have similar feelings and be slightly creeped out about being contacted by a woman about AI because they've always viewed it as something that's a special honor, not something that someone pursues because they (for whatever reason) didn't join in college.

So to summarize:

*AI is not the solution for not having joined in college.

*It is not an alternative mode for joining a sorority because one didn't do so in college.

*It's a way for outstanding women to be asked to join as an EXCEPTION to the normal mode of membership (formal collegiate recruitment).

*It may be considered completely presumptuous of you to contact sororities about AI, because they may not feel it's appropriate for women to be seeking out such an exception.

[Zillini]

An excellent explanation KSUViolet, as usual.

Think of AI as a precious gift given out of love, respect and gratitude. Expecting someone to give you a gift because you deserve it is presumptuous. Asking someone to give you a gift is rude. Doing things solely in hopes of receiving a gift is selfish.

[ThetaDancer]

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.

I don't really understand how some people say their course load was SOOOO heavy there's NO way they could have joined. Right, because those of us who were capable of joining just took slacker courses at slacker schools...it's not like we learned time management skills or anything. I understand that there are other legitimate obstacles but course load? Really?

ETA: I should have read ahead. I agree with the other posts, especially VandalSquirrel's points about time management.

[ZTA72]

I don't really understand how some people say their course load was SOOOO heavy there's NO way they could have joined. Right, because those of us who were capable of joining just took slacker courses at slacker schools...it's not like we learned time management skills or anything. I understand that there are other legitimate obstacles but course load? Really?ETA: I should have read ahead. I agree with the other posts, especially VandalSquirrel's points about time management.

I have to chime in here too, just because, I think it is valid to underscore that that there are serious students in collegiate chapters who still find the time to devote to their sororities. My daughters are pre-med as well as some of their sisters. They go to class and study an additional 8-10 hours a day. They also volunteer several times a week which of course takes time. They both have 4.0s taking some unbelievably difficult courses. They attend their chapter socials, etc and just spent 36 hours awake and on their feet at Dance Marathon. It can be done!
/end of rant...and I'm only on my second cup of coffee.

All of this to say, we can't reclaim the past, or recreate/remold our college experiences.

[PJS]

I'll be blunt. A lot of GCers are taken aback, and I might even say offended, by PNAMs who "sorority shop". The general reason for people not liking sorority shopping is that many of us (myself included), feel that an AI should have a personal connection to the sorority that they're seeking membership in. . .

You're also likely to run into these feelings from people in real life as well, so if you're going to go about this the way that you seem to want to, you should be prepared for that.

Think of AI as a precious gift given out of love, respect and gratitude. Expecting someone to give you a gift because you deserve it is presumptuous. Asking someone to give you a gift is rude. Doing things solely in hopes of receiving a gift is selfish.

I have only heard of AI twice in "real life" vs on GC. Once was actually in my husband's fraternity. A professor that taught in the major that most of the guys were in took a personal interest in many of them and in the house. After MANY years of his involvement in the men and in the fraternity, they conferred a special status to him so he is now considered an alum. He was probably in his 50's at the time and he did not pursue it! The other time was a well loved and long time NPC housemother that became an alumni initiate.

I know there are only two data points here, but do you see the theme? These two people had contributed to the organizations for years with no intent of this reward. Alumni status was conferred as a high honor and a way to convey heartfelt thanks.

I honestly don't know if my own NPC does AI, but if a grad student or young married gal approached my alumni group about it, I think we would give her a blank stare. Nothing personal, but it. . . just. . . isn't. . . done. . . at least where I come from. And to quote someone from earlier in the thread--it kind of creeps me out.

[33girl]

I know and thank you for the warm welcome. :D I know to expect a long process and I think I've narrowed it down to three. Two that are on my campus and one that isn't. Two of our four sisterhoods don't allow grad students and I completely understand that! I've meet girls from all the chapters and think we have some of the sweetest greek girls in the world on our campus! After meeting the girls I went the main websites and found out who allowed AI's and who didn't. After that I started researching other sisterhoods who allowed AI and found a third one that I liked their standards and what they stand for. Now I'm in the process of figuring out how to go about I guess it would be called rushing? even though I'm not a undergrad. I don't know if I can go through the local college chapter or do I go through an alum chapter.

Unless you met girls from the ALUMNAE chapters, it really doesn't matter how sweet they are. The collegians will not be the ones voting you in.

I'm enclosing the only thing that could make this thread not blow chunks. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcY1f_vrd4M&NR=1)

[KSUViolet06]

I have only heard of AI twice in "real life" vs on GC. Once was actually in my husband's fraternity. A professor that taught in the major that most of the guys were in took a personal interest in many of them and in the house. After MANY years of his involvement in the men and in the fraternity, they conferred a special status to him so he is now considered an alum. He was probably in his 50's at the time and he did not pursue it! The other time was a well loved and long time NPC housemother that became an alumni initiate.

I know there are only two data points here, but do you see the theme? These two people had contributed to the organizations for years with no intent of this reward. Alumni status was conferred as a high honor and a way to convey heartfelt thanks.

Right, and this was exactly the point I was trying to make. Most of the AIs that I know in real life contributed to the sorority then were ASKED to join. They did not seek it out. Either that or they were someone who had pledged us at some point, but had to depledge due to some extreme circumstance.

This is not to say that I am against AI at all. I think the women who have joined my sorority via AI that I know of are pretty great. I just would really like for those who are interested to understand that the process is not the same as collegiate recruitment in the sense that it is not a REGULAR route to membership. It's not something that is a norm. Heck, there are some ACs of my sorority who probably wouldn't know what you were talking about if you mentioned it because it's just THAT uncommon.

[nittanyalum]

I'm going to insert my two cents here. For some of us who do join post college it's because when we were students there was no way we could have joined. I was a theatre major and spent 40 hours in the theatre weekly. I didn't have time to dedicate to a NPC like it needs to be. So for me, I finnaly have the time to dedicate to a organization that I didn't as a undergrad. Because as a grad student I rarely work on shows because it's all about theory now.
Well, jeepers, then, ok, that answers all of my questions, you're right, you should be IN! You were busy as an undergrad? Really? Gee, that sounds so unusual. That IS a special exception I bet. Hey, good luck with your "rushing" the national orgs. I bet it'll be everything you're expecting it to be and it'll be JUST like you didn't miss those precious 4 years of active undergrad membership. Hope your Big Sis spoils you bunches!

[LadyLonghorn]

As far as I know, none of the four groups at TAMU-C (KD, Alpha Phi, Gamma Phi and Chi O) allow grad students to initiate as collegians. It sounds as if you are now seeking an undergrad experience as a grad student and that isn't going to happen. Alumnae initiation is a completely different thing and alumnae do not hang out with nor participate in daily collegiate chapter operations. I think you are quite confused about what you are looking for.

[lake]

It sounds as if you are now seeking an undergrad experience as a grad student and that isn't going to happen. Alumnae initiation is a completely different thing and alumnae do not hang out with nor participate in daily collegiate chapter operations.

So true. All but one of the women in my group are old enough to be my mother. It’s a very informal group that meets once a month and the focus is primarily social, although they are involved in some community service projects. Are you OK with socializing with women who are more than likely older than you, and with whom you have nothing else in common with except your sorority affiliation? Because active alum participation is definitely not the kind of social experience you would’ve had as an undergrad. There aren’t any college “hi-jinks”, we don’t have socials or exchanges with other GLOs, and while everyone loves the sorority, they have children, grandchildren, husbands, aging parents, and a whole host of other things going on. It’s not glamorous, but that’s OK. I’m willing to bet most people would consider our get-togethers (gasp!) “boring”. So you wouldn’t necessarily experience the same kind of sisterhood or even support that you would expect if you were an undergrad, maybe living in the house, where any number of people could/might drop everything to “be there for you” however you needed/wanted them to. Does that make sense? Also, where I am, the local Tri Delta collegiate chapter was closed a couple years back, so there’s not even a collegiate chapter nearby, and the resulting bitterness and hard feelings by the local alums of that chapter has resulted in their decreased participation. So yeah, it’s definitely not college!

[icelandelf]

The life of an alumna is completely different to that of a collegian. I have a hard time believing you didn't have time as an undergraduate and now as a graduate student (who I hope has a life outside of school) you have time. Sorority membership for many was a sacrifice during the undergraduate years, and there are a bevy of women (and men) on this site who made it work time wise. I can think of women and men on my campus who worked and went to school, and since they wanted it bad enough made it work. Some of my sisters took five years for school, and managed their membership, an even in professional and graduate school show up for alumnae appropriate events.

There are plenty of other groups to get involved in, why an NPC sorority after graduation? To be blunt, the fact that you didn't try or make time as a student is a huge red flag to me, and for me, works against you.


I so agree with the post above. I'll be blunt as well. If you went to school (Grad Girl 08) at A&M Commerce, then one of the sororities you're shopping is mine. My very humble opinion, FWIW, is that you didn't make time to pursue greek life while you were on campus. Many of my sisters were busy...beyond busy with studies in everything from performing arts majors to science majors and they still made time to be a part of our organization. I think you saying you had theatre hours 40 hrs/week and couldn't participate is a copout.

[texas*princess]

I so agree with the post above. I'll be blunt as well. If you went to school (Grad Girl 08) at A&M Commerce, then one of the sororities you're shopping is mine. My very humble opinion, FWIW, is that you didn't make time to pursue greek life while you were on campus. Many of my sisters were busy...beyond busy with studies in everything from performing arts majors to science majors and they still made time to be a part of our organization. I think you saying you had theatre hours 40 hrs/week and couldn't participate is a copout.

I agree.

Like many of my own sisters, I was involved in many different organizations - in addition to full time course loads with difficult majors AND working 30-40 hours a week.

We all made it work. There is no reason anyone else couldn't.

[SWTXBelle]

I so agree with the post above. I'll be blunt as well. If you went to school (Grad Girl 08) at A&M Commerce, then one of the sororities you're shopping is mine. My very humble opinion, FWIW, is that you didn't make time to pursue greek life while you were on campus. Many of my sisters were busy...beyond busy with studies in everything from performing arts majors to science majors and they still made time to be a part of our organization. I think you saying you had theatre hours 40 hrs/week and couldn't participate is a copout.

Theatre is very time-consuming - I know. I was a theatre major when I pledged. :) It can be done.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Yes, I was pre-med my first two years of college AND I worked off campus, and I still made time to be an officer in my sorority.

[UGAalum94]

Anyone else wonder if maybe NPHC grad chapters have made people think that there as similar opportunities in NPCs?

I don't think there's a single NPC that has alumnae initiation that is supposed to be sought out by the individual woman.

It's not really designed to be a thing that you research and put your name up for at a group you aren't already working with. If you are doing this, you are doing it wrong.

[KSUViolet06]

Anyone else wonder if maybe NPHC grad chapters have made people think that there as similar opportunities in NPCs?

I don't think there's a single NPC that has alumnae initiation that is supposed to be sought out by the individual woman.

It's not really designed to be a thing that you research and put your name up for at a group you aren't already working with. If you are doing this, you are doing it wrong.


I agree with your point about how it really isn't supposed to be sought out, but I don't think people doing so has anything to with NPHC practices.

Alot of it has to do with a bit of a "marketplace" that GC has created by having an entire forum dedicated to it. Nowhere else is there a forum about this. Why? Because a forum leads people to believe it occurs regularly.

[UGAalum94]

I agree with your point about how it really isn't supposed to be sought out, but I don't think people doing so has anything to with NPHC practices.

Alot of it has to do with a bit of a "marketplace" that GC has created by having an entire forum dedicated to it. Nowhere else is there a forum about this. Why? Because a forum leads people to believe it occurs regularly.

One of my first big GreekChat threads/flaming exchange of hostility was about the Alumnae Initiation forum. I was in favor of keeping it because I didn't see any harm in giving people a place to ask questions that group members could choose to answer or not answer.

Maybe, since I don't see a big hot issue in the forum right now that would be taken personally by anyone, it's time to close it if you think it's giving people the wrong idea. Who has access to the stats to see if it's even being used regularly? Anything else about AI by regular users could probably go in another forum.

I doubt it's GreekChat alone that's driving the trend but I have no idea. What do they have about it over at Happy Rainbow Pony Land?

[indygphib]

I agree with your point about how it really isn't supposed to be sought out, but I don't think people doing so has anything to with NPHC practices.

Alot of it has to do with a bit of a "marketplace" that GC has created by having an entire forum dedicated to it. Nowhere else is there a forum about this. Why? Because a forum leads people to believe it occurs regularly.

Now that "He Who Shall Not Be Named" and BAtshit have forever been shown the door for GC, maybe we actually CAN put this part of the recruitment forum to rest. Mods?

[myopicsunflower]

o_O

[Xidelt]

Mods, please delete above.

[Xidelt]

Sorry BA. I was referring to your post as the one to delete.

[LadyLonghorn]

I'm pretty sure it's a violation of the GC TOS to keep coming back when you've been repeatedly banned. Not much happening on HPRL? It must really suck to be you.

[jwright25]

I had a feeling this thread would be a big, shining bat signal....

[scbelle]

I had a feeling this thread would be a big, shining bat signal....
lollers... http://www.fileden.com/files/2006/11/25/420850/batman.gif

[preciousjeni]

I just can't wrap my mind around that psychosis that causes people to repeatedly register on GC with different usernames after they've been banned.

[33girl]

Anyone else wonder if maybe NPHC grad chapters have made people think that there as similar opportunities in NPCs?


Considering most of the AI hopefuls on here have been from PWIs, I doubt that many of them even know what an NPHC grad chapter is.

[UGAalum94]

Considering most of the AI hopefuls on here have been from PWIs, I doubt that many of them even know what an NPHC grad chapter is.

Yeah, maybe it's wishful thinking to assume they'd have been inspired by something positive rather than just unfulfilled undergraduate longing.

[KSUViolet06]

Yeah, maybe it's wishful thinking to assume they'd have been inspired by positive rather than just unfulfilled undergraduate longing.


In terms of GC, it is mostly the latter, lol.

Yes, there may be a few who have actually volunteered with and served the org they're interested in, or have ties to a specific sorority (maybe they pledged there in undergrad and had to quit due to illness or something).

But a common theme for MOST ladies who come here about it have that unfulfilled undergraduate longing thing.

Maybe it's hard for me to understand because I joined in undergrad, but I'm pretty cynical about the PNAMs who come here saying, "I have always DREAMED of joining a sorority." Really?

[UGAalum94]

Yeah, it's weird to me to because if you always dreamed of it, you'd have made it a priority in your undergraduate experience, it seems to me. Or have found a suitable surrogate experience with a women's club.

I have really positive feelings about the AIs that I've known in real life, so I have absolutely no problem with the concept generally, but here I tend to wonder about some of the postings here.

I suppose on some level it boils down to the fact that I think most NPCs are really about supporting the undergraduate experience, and most of the NPC undergraduate experience is social (I don't just mean fraternity socials and date nights, but I mean about interpersonal relationships within the group). What would you be looking for as an unaffiliated alumna if you were checking out groups to AI into when you weren't already working with the chapters?

[KSUViolet06]

Yeah, it's weird to me to because if you always dreamed of it, you'd have made it a priority in your undergraduate experience, it seems to me. Or have found a suitable surrogate experience with a women's club.

I have really positive feelings about the AIs that I've known in real life, so I have absolutely no problem with the concept generally, but here I tend to wonder about some of the postings here.

Same here. Every AI I've met in real life has been a positive contributor to Sigma BEFORE getting initiated or has been tied to the sorority in some way before initiation. I'm not anti-AI by any means.

I just question people who come to the internet asking about it and pursuing it.

I feel like, if you're really seriously interested in being a part of a sorority as an alumna, you shouldn't NEED to come to a website and ask questions about it or go on a "search." You should already be in touch or have ties with the sorority in some manner and you should already KNOW alumnae PERSONALLY who are more than willing to help you. You should not have to come here for "advice" and such.

[UGAalum94]

Same here. Every AI I've met in real life has been a positive contributor to Sigma BEFORE getting initiated or has been tied to the sorority in some way before initiation. I'm not anti-AI by any means.

I just question people who come to the internet asking about it and pursuing it.

I feel like, if you're really seriously interested in being a part of a sorority as an alumna, you shouldn't NEED to come to a website and ask questions about it or go on a "search." You should already be in touch or have ties with the sorority in some manner and you should already KNOW alumnae PERSONALLY who are more than willing to help you. You should not have to come here for "advice" and such.

Yep, absolutely. This is one of the threads where I have no problem admitting that I've completely changed my mind from what I originally posted back when I was a new GC user. (well, not literally this thread, but a similar thread in this forum.)